Well not everything is as it seems, it seems. A life of interest and adventure in. . . Equestria they said? I might as well write this, a collection of my adventures, here and with . . . The Doctor and his assistant, as well as my own assistants. As The Doctor would say, Allons-y!
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It seems a bit rushed, to be honest... and it's confusing where this all takes place. I think you should look over your chapter and read it, and take your time with it.
Not to bad. A few typo's here and there but good none the less.
"It says here...", you cliffhanging bastard.
274345 And you shall never know what it is. MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Maybe. 
This is coming along nicely, I would suggest you work on spacing out your blocks of text. Other than that, looking good.
LaeviG
If this involves Doctor Who as I suspect it does given the word "Allons-y" in the description, you might want to capitalize the word doctor there. That's his name, as far as we know.
I say I suspect it does, since I don't have time to read this now. I'll get to it later.
561165 You were completely and utterly right. I don't know how I missed it. Thanks!