Early morning upload. Not to shabby. I felt the overall resolution could have gone better bu it achivied what it needed to. I actually feel a little bad for twilight. Her sister's in jail and her ex is with another woman and is happier then with her. <hugs Twilight> don't worry I'm sure things will get better.
I understand Twilight's predicament, what with her desire to keep her friends together. But seriously... Damn. She's kinda... brusque. Not in an out-of-character way, but in a don't-fuck-with-me-right-now kinda way. I like it.
Is there going to be any more after this, or is this it? This seems like a good place to stop the story, unless you plan a plot twist or something...
You aren't planning on killing someone off, are you...?
2565390>>2565384 As it stands, I'm sure there will be another chapter or two, which will kind of wrap things up. This isn't -quite- the end of the story. Not yet.
2565396 That's good to hear. There are a few loose ends that need to be taken care of. Also, do you plan on doing anything else like this? Like, maybe a prequel that takes place between the time Rarity and Twilight start dating to the crash, providing little bits and pieces of their lives in between, as well as the lives of their other friends. I think something like that might work, if you wanna toy around with it and see what you think.
2565396 Well Loyal. As I have so far from the beginning of my time here I eagerly await the finishing of ALL of your stories. (Here's looking at you Melody's Tale)
2565384 not only that, but Twilight keept the whole thing coverd instead of coming out with the true right from the beginning. anyway, i wonder how this all will work out ...
@Loyal2-1 this story is a bit like Rainwater Martini, just a bit better !
Twilight is truly a bitch, How dare she cheat on my Rarity, Not only that but she lied, covered it up. Non of the other mane six know about it. She is a liar and a cheat. Im surprised Celestria is still taking her on as a student. And I think im getting too invested in this fanfic, damn good read my friend, damn good. How long until the next chapter is up?
Although I feel that Rares made the right choice, she should at least visit the others at SOME point. I'm sure that if she were to explain the situation they'd understand. Hell, Pinkie probably wouldn't care too much being that she'd be too busy with the 'Welcome Back', breakup, AND 'new relationship' parties (clear your calendars, that's more than a weekend). Flutters couldn't be too angry at them if she tried. Aj might be the most miffed, being that honesty is her territory, but she'd get over it eventually. Even at its worst, the next world-ending event would pull them back together, just like it did with Nightmare Moon in the beginning and with their Discorded selves. That being said, Twi just might be the teensy-weensiest bit jelly. Just a smidge.
ALRIGHT to be damn honest in my silly mind I half expected a SWAT team to bust in on Vinyl and during other events since in my head "No on expects the SWAT teams to roll in!"
2582935 >Makes an entire story >ENTIRE story >My best story on Fimfiction >Highly rated, lots of favorites, fans who enjoy reading it >Comments every chapter >FEATURED every chapter >ALL ABOUT TWI BEING AWESOME AND KIND AND POWERFUL AND HELPING HER FRIENDS AND EQUESTRIA
I’m trying to keep the only friends I have left from falling apart. If I tell them the truth of what happened between you and me, they would abandon me. Just like you did.
So first of all, that last line... Emotional blackmail much?
Second, WHAT THE BUCK TWI?!? You've been lying to everyone for how long? If you'd told them all from the outset, they'd've been pissed, and there would have been angry words all around, followed by long discussions and apologies and tearful reconciliations, and you could all write a lovely friendship report.
And how do you think that'll go now, when they find out you and Dash didn't just cheat on Rarity, you've been lying about it for God knows how long? Because they will find out. Lies don't last, and this one was shaky from the start.
On a related note, I'm really enjoying seeing Rarity be the mature, sensible one. I know writers and readers love Rarity's histrionics (to be honest, I do too), but the way she and Twi are often portrayed just makes no sense. Twilight is a student. A painfully introverted one, whose only real experience in social interaction has come in the last few years. She may be Celestia's "friendship expert," but just knowing all those lessons does not necessarily translate to emotional maturity. Rarity, on the other hand, is a successful businessponywoman, who has been out on her own since before Twi even met her. She may have her moments of crazy (don't we all?), but when writers try to paint her as less worldly than Twilight, I just can't help but laugh.
Is it bad for me to say, that I think Twilight is a bigger psycho than Vinyl? Passive aggressive, manipulative, prone to blackmail, need I continue? She's a real top notch bitch in this fic. I think the only thing I don't like about it is the way you portrayed her.
Twilight’s, however, was violet, and dense. She stood opposite Vinyl Scratch, her expression drawn down seriously. “I’m not moving until the authorities arrive, Vinyl.” Twilight growled. “ You've committed a serious crime today.”
Good thing you here Twilight although you know you broke the elements apart and thanks to that Equestria is doomed as in 1000 years Discord will return again and nothing will stop him unless Celestia can find another 6 bearers or Sunset returns to take her position back and fix this mess.
Early morning upload. Not to shabby. I felt the overall resolution could have gone better bu it achivied what it needed to. I actually feel a little bad for twilight. Her sister's in jail and her ex is with another woman and is happier then with her. <hugs Twilight> don't worry I'm sure things will get better.
I understand Twilight's predicament, what with her desire to keep her friends together. But seriously... Damn. She's kinda... brusque. Not in an out-of-character way, but in a don't-fuck-with-me-right-now kinda way. I like it.
Is there going to be any more after this, or is this it? This seems like a good place to stop the story, unless you plan a plot twist or something...
You aren't planning on killing someone off, are you...?
2565390>>2565384
As it stands, I'm sure there will be another chapter or two, which will kind of wrap things up. This isn't -quite- the end of the story. Not yet.
2565396
That's good to hear. There are a few loose ends that need to be taken care of.
Also, do you plan on doing anything else like this? Like, maybe a prequel that takes place between the time Rarity and Twilight start dating to the crash, providing little bits and pieces of their lives in between, as well as the lives of their other friends. I think something like that might work, if you wanna toy around with it and see what you think.
2565396
Well Loyal. As I have so far from the beginning of my time here I eagerly await the finishing of ALL of your stories. (Here's looking at you Melody's Tale)
2565409
Doubt it.
2565449
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFff- shit. MT is kind of... Preemptively scrapped >.>
Or maybe a sequel that deals with Sweetie Bell and Scoots?
Wew, things are happening But the story's coming to a close
2565384
not only that, but Twilight keept the whole thing coverd instead of coming out with the true right from the beginning.
anyway, i wonder how this all will work out ...
@Loyal2-1 this story is a bit like Rainwater Martini, just a bit better !
Commence read.
I dare say, there may be something missing here.
2568130
Gah. Thanks/.
Twilight is truly a bitch, How dare she cheat on my Rarity, Not only that but she lied, covered it up. Non of the other mane six know about it. She is a liar and a cheat. Im surprised Celestria is still taking her on as a student. And I think im getting too invested in this fanfic, damn good read my friend, damn good. How long until the next chapter is up?
Although I feel that Rares made the right choice, she should at least visit the others at SOME point. I'm sure that if she were to explain the situation they'd understand. Hell, Pinkie probably wouldn't care too much being that she'd be too busy with the 'Welcome Back', breakup, AND 'new relationship' parties (clear your calendars, that's more than a weekend). Flutters couldn't be too angry at them if she tried. Aj might be the most miffed, being that honesty is her territory, but she'd get over it eventually. Even at its worst, the next world-ending event would pull them back together, just like it did with Nightmare Moon in the beginning and with their Discorded selves.
That being said, Twi just might be the teensy-weensiest bit jelly. Just a smidge.
ALRIGHT to be damn honest in my silly mind I half expected a SWAT team to bust in on Vinyl and during other events since in my head "No on expects the SWAT teams to roll in!"
Love the story btw.
2568479 Why do u always make twi a b***ch?
2582935
>Makes an entire story
>ENTIRE story
>My best story on Fimfiction
>Highly rated, lots of favorites, fans who enjoy reading it
>Comments every chapter
>FEATURED every chapter
>ALL ABOUT TWI BEING AWESOME AND KIND AND POWERFUL AND HELPING HER FRIENDS AND EQUESTRIA
YEAH I ALWAYS MAKE TWI A BITCH!
2583886 omfg!! laughing so hard cause i can see and hear you ranting in my head!! omg, i can't breath!! forgive me?
I believe this passage in Chapter 11: History could be reworded to read more accurately.
Instead of this:
Octavia’s voice dropped as the roaring engine shifted gears, dying down in intensity as they joined the normal flow of traffic,
it could either be:
Octavia’s voice dropped as the transmission shifted gears, the engine's roar dying down in intensity as they joined the normal flow of traffic,
or
Octavia’s voice dropped as the transmission shifted gears, the roar of the engine dying down in intensity as they joined the normal flow of traffic,
Aside from that, you sir are brilliant!
How does this only have about 150 likes? This is one of my top five now, good sir. I look forward to the next chapters.
something tells me this is not the last time we see Twilight OR Vinyl...
Didn't know bitchiness was hereditary...
If I was Rarity, I would take great pleasure in going back to Ponyville and telling everyone just how shitty Twilight is.
So first of all, that last line... Emotional blackmail much?
Second, WHAT THE BUCK TWI?!? You've been lying to everyone for how long? If you'd told them all from the outset, they'd've been pissed, and there would have been angry words all around, followed by long discussions and apologies and tearful reconciliations, and you could all write a lovely friendship report.
And how do you think that'll go now, when they find out you and Dash didn't just cheat on Rarity, you've been lying about it for God knows how long? Because they will find out. Lies don't last, and this one was shaky from the start.
On a related note, I'm really enjoying seeing Rarity be the mature, sensible one. I know writers and readers love Rarity's histrionics (to be honest, I do too), but the way she and Twi are often portrayed just makes no sense. Twilight is a student. A painfully introverted one, whose only real experience in social interaction has come in the last few years. She may be Celestia's "friendship expert," but just knowing all those lessons does not necessarily translate to emotional maturity. Rarity, on the other hand, is a successful business
ponywoman, who has been out on her own since before Twi even met her. She may have her moments of crazy (don't we all?), but when writers try to paint her as less worldly than Twilight, I just can't help but laugh.Is it bad for me to say, that I think Twilight is a bigger psycho than Vinyl? Passive aggressive, manipulative, prone to blackmail, need I continue? She's a real top notch bitch in this fic. I think the only thing I don't like about it is the way you portrayed her.
Sucks too see Twi being such a cunt. Also, in this at least, you write like a British person.
Good thing you here Twilight although you know you broke the elements apart and thanks to that Equestria is doomed as in 1000 years Discord will return again and nothing will stop him unless Celestia can find another 6 bearers or Sunset returns to take her position back and fix this mess.