Australian Chaos
Joined 7th Jan, 2013 ·
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I guess I'll give it a read.
I read this the other day... didn't know you had it on here. I think this story will be very interesting
Finally found time to find this your latest story and you don't disappoint! I love the use of uncommon words, like ultimatum, in your story and adds a level of depth and sophistication to your characters that breath life into them and make them very engaging to listen to. Though this is a Prologue chapter I quite enjoyed reading it... though I still baffled with the whole Celestial x Discord shipping even though the show never painted them or hinted to them as such.
Just one little error I found...
"I have your pleas and lies too many times"
You forgot to add "I have heard your please and lies too many times..." into that sentence, but it happens. Easy for the mind to mistake "have" and "heard" together when you string the sentences along.
Though I'm not into very intense dark stories, I will give this tale a shot because it's you (my friend and one of my favorite authors) and your excellent writing abilities. I cannot wait until the next chapter of this story is posted! VirusChris signing off! Tally-oh!