• Member Since 7th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen May 10th, 2013

SGTDiphthong


T

A murder strikes one late winter evening, and nopony seems to be able to provide clues as to what happened. Anytime somepony gets close to revealing anything helpful, they too end up dead. Things get personal when someone close to a certain unicorn ends up a victim. She devotes herself to finding the culprit. What she finds is a ruthless pony, willing to do anything to cover his or her tracks.

Nopony is safe. Not anymore. This pony acts without regret. Without remorse. Without a single thought of consequence.

This was a one shot, I think. I didn't really feel like separating each break into separate chapters, so I'll just leave it as is. Unless someone really wants me to break it up. I might then. It's just tedious, that's all. I may or may not decide to write some sort of epilogue or prologue or something of the like. Depends on the day, honestly. Hope everypony likes it, because I'm rather proud of it. Hell, even if you don't, leave a comment. I love feedback. Kind of a lot. (More comments, please. Doooo iiit.)

Thanks for the 700 views and all, guys. Although, I really wish you would comment a little more. I can't improve if you don't tell me what's wrong.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )
#1 · Sep 30th, 2011 · · ·

Wow. That was a very touching story. good job

7922
Why, Thank you. Glad you liked it.

#3 · Oct 27th, 2011 · · ·

This was... this was... wow. I mean... I... this... that........ I love it. The way it brought the friends together, the tragedy they shared, the friends they lost... this is really deep. I love this story.

19301
I appreciate your kind words. :D
Glad what I intended to get across did.

Gah more feels so many feels tonight.

dam that was intense to say the least :rainbowdetermined2:

very nice writhing, a very good story
you should be proud to have created such a fine work :)

124410
Thanks a lot. ;D
Glad you liked it.

#8 · Jan 14th, 2012 · · ·

Ohhoho I remember when you first showed me this story. One of the few fanfics I like. Well done lad.

Couldn't finish it. Tenses kept switching, no real emotional effect from the events, no suspense, etc. I quit just after Pinkie and Rarity disappeared.

Just reading about ponies getting killed is pretty boring, y'know? And I like dark stuff.

I'm usually a really nice or not at all kind of reviewer, but I figured that since everyone else is just saying how good it is, I should throw my two cents in.

330600

Sorry to hear that.

Well, I appreciate the input.

7 lives lost? 7? 4 elements, 3 background ponies, 1 filly. Recount. I didn't include bonbon, does BonBon count as one? I dont know why she wouldn't. img.photobucket.com/albums/v228/PIKARAPTOR/Ponies/Pony%20gifs/1290251249354-Derpy_gif_2.gif

Bad pacing imo. Otherwise, the premise is good.

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