• Published 3rd Mar 2013
  • 2,861 Views, 278 Comments

The Original Character Immigration Offices - TypewriterError



Welcome to the O.C.I.O: where your OC can apply to enter Equestria and by your luck make it through the stringent immigration process! ...These are the ones who weren't so lucky.

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Geno the Giraffe

Geno the Giraffe
By
Metool Bard

When I first approached the O.C.I.O, I had a feeling this wasn’t going to work. The front entrance was too small. Far too small. Seriously, I don’t think even my legs would fit in that tiny little door. But, I had no reason to give up hope. I had an appointment to keep after all. I used a side entrance that was reserved for dragon OCs and found my way to the reception area.

My hopes were rekindled when I found that I had plenty of room to move around once I got to the right room. Again, it was probably a measure for the occasional (and in my experience, very rare) dragon OCs that could come into play. I walked over to the receptionist, taking great care not to step on anypony as I walked. Trust me, when you’re a giraffe, minding your step is harder than it looks. I arched my neck down and cleared my throat.

“Um, excuse me? I have a six o’clock appointment with Her Royal Eminence Twilight Sparkle,” I said.

The peach-colored mare looked up at me and raised an eyebrow. “And, you are?”

“Geno,” I replied, “Geno the Giraffe.”

The receptionist checked over the list. “Geno, Geno... Ah, here we are. Just have a seat, Mr. Geno. We’ll be with you in a moment.”

“Many thanks, my good mare,” I said with a nod. I then carefully made my way over to the waiting area. Again, there was plenty of room for me to move around. However, I noticed that there were no chairs suitable for a creature of my size. I guess dragons don’t need chairs.

Making due with what I had, I knelt down to the ground and sighed.

Perhaps a giraffe doesn’t fit into Equestria. I thought to myself. How would I function? How would I entertain guests or run my business? Zebras have it so lucky...

“Geno the Giraffe?”

An angelic voice snapped me out of my moping as the great princess herself approached me. I bowed my head in reverence.

“Y-yes, Your Highness?” I said.

“Come with me,” said Twilight. “Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of space.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought the office would be too small. But, once again, dragons had to be accounted for. I followed the purple alicorn into her office.

“Have a seat,” said Twilight as she took out a bunch of papers from my desk (I assumed it was my file).

“Oh, yes. Thank you,” I said, finding that once again, the chair was too small. I swallowed. “Um, Your Highness? Could I perhaps request a larger seat?”

“Hmm? Oh, let me get that for you,” said Twilight, using her magic to cause the chair to grow. “There. Better?”

“Oh, much. Again, thank you,” I said as I sat down. I smiled to myself. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

“Well, let’s see here,” said Twilight, looking over my file. “Apparently, you’re aiming to be a side character in the Daring Do novels.”

“Indeed,” said I, “I am an expert at deciphering ancient languages and codes.”

Twilight nodded slowly. “So, if you’re supposed to be a fictional character, how are you talking to me right now?”

“Oh, I filled out some paperwork with a lovely mare named Pinkie Pie,” I said. “Something about being able to break something called the Fourth Wall for this interview. I don’t know, there was a lot of legalese in the paperwork. Or at least I think it was legalese.”

“Of course it was Pinkie’s doing. I don’t know why I’d expect otherwise.” said Twilight, rolling her eyes. “Well, apart from that, this looks pretty impressive, Mr. Geno.”

As she continued looking over my file, I noticed a tantalizing tray of mints on her table. Twilight seemed to notice this and smiled.

“Oh, help yourself,” said Twilight.

“Thank you,” I said. “Doreimi!”

On cue, my fine feathered friend flew from off of my back and snatched up one of the mints. Twilight noticed this and raised an eyebrow.

“Um, Mr. Geno? What was that all about?” she asked.

“Oh. Yes, I probably should explain,” I said sheepishly. “As a giraffe, I need to keep all four hooves on the ground at all times while standing, or I’ll lose my balance. To cope with this, Doreimi here acts as my hands... er, hooves.”

“Uh huh,” said Twilight. Her expression was hard to read. I wasn’t sure if she approved or not. “So, what’s your place like?”

“Well, it’s not a typical pony home, I assure you,” I said. “Being as tall as I am, I’d probably have the largest house in the city of Hoofington, as well as the largest door. Also, my furnishings would be a bit, different.”

“Different how?”

“Well, everything would be bolted to the walls or ceiling,” I explained. “The only things that would be on the ground would be beds and chairs and such.”

“I, see.” said Twilight. “It would probably be difficult for a pony to relax in such a, big house.”

I honestly couldn’t argue with that. Nevertheless, I felt as though I still had a shot. “Th-that’s just one aspect of my character, Your Highness. I think you’ll find that I’m very considerate, intelligent, and...”

“Considerate?” asked Twilight, cutting across my train of thought.

“Um, yes,” I said nervously. “I, try my best not to step on other ponies. You know how it is, being a giraffe and all.”

“I can’t say that I do,” said Twilight tersely. She then pulled out a red stamp, and I knew that couldn’t be anything good. “I’m sorry, Mr. Geno. Your request for entry into Equestria, even if it’s into the fictional Daring Do universe, is denied.” She punctuated her statement by stamping my file. Sure enough, a red DENIED sign was there, as clear as day. My expression drooped.

“I was, expecting that,” I muttered. “It’s my size, isn’t it?”

Twilight sighed, “I’m not going to sugarcoat it, Mr. Geno. You have a lot of good ideas, but they just won’t work in an Equestrian setting. A bird acting as your hooves? Desks bolted to the ceiling? The fact that you have to watch your step all the time? It, just wouldn’t work out.”

“I understand completely,” I said. “Will you consider a revision?”

“Well, of course,” said Twilight. “Honestly, I’m giving you an A for effort. There aren’t many giraffes in Equestria, after all. Plus, you’re a lot more pleasant than some of the other OCs I had to deal with. Seriously, I had to deny five black-and-red alicorns this week alone, and all of them didn’t take the news as well as you did.”

I had to blush. “Th-thank you, Your Highness,” I said as I got up. “I-I hope to see you again soon.”

“We’ll see.” said Twilight. “Have a good day, Mr. Geno.”

I bowed my head in reverence, and made my way out of the office. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I pictured it, but it went more or less the way I expected. I turned to Doreimi, who simply offered me a shrug as I sighed.

So close, yet so far.