• Member Since 11th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 30th, 2013

Capt-Sketcher-Man


T

The day when all of Equestria has fallen is only known by one term, Z-Day. Thousands of ponies succumb to an unknown disease. They soon awake from the dead and feast on the flesh of the living. Lily Blossom finds herself in the middle of an epic battle for survival and she must now not only fight off hordes of the undead, but also the factions of other survivors.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 4 )

Zombie Ponies, 'nuff said.

Now how am I supposed to believe you put any effort at all into this story when you clearly don't want to distinguish it from any other story by telling us NOTHING about it?

The details are okay. You managed to capture some good emotions in there. And I'm a sucker for zombie fics. Some improvements could be a MUCH more informative description. Just "Zombie Ponies, 'nuff said" would be difficult to catch a eye. And a common problem (And in your case, it shouldn't hard) is making lengthy chapters. 2000-3000 word chapters are always good. Overall, this is a well-rounded fic, and I hope to see more.

I don't know a whole lot about critiquing writing, but I thought I'd give my two cents anyhow. I don't really have anything to say grammars-wise; there were a few noticeable mistakes but nothing that detracted from the experience. I think you might do well to expand on your characters a bit more because I've always found the draw in these kind of post-apocalyptic/zombie stories to be more character centric than action/setpiece centric. The reason people follow shows or comics like the Walking Dead is because the characters themselves are compelling, not so much the action or the locations. Your descriptions are fine, but the characters themselves seem a little static. I know the characters' names, but that's it really. If you find the motivation to create illustrated panels for your story that might help dramatically in adding depth to your characters. Anyhow, I like the descriptions atleast and I think your only real hurdle has to do with deepening your characters, but you did say that you wrote this off the top of your head and this is the first chapter, so you know yourself better than I. I'll go ahead and leave you a 'like'; I could see myself reading this if it was a bit better realized.

Sorry for the wall o' text,

2195462
I plan to have a lot more in depth character development in the second chapter. Thanks for the input. :pinkiehappy:

Login or register to comment