Spike licked his claws as he walked along, still savoring the meal he just consumed. Knowing he was a dragon, several crystal fruits were cut, fire grilled and glazed with a delicious sticky sauce. Spike was used to just eating small gems for dinner, but these ponies really treated him. Diamond and Silver Spoon giggled uncontrollably as they watched him eat, mostly because once he realized what it was, bits of the crystal fruit flew everywhere and the glaze got onto his face. Nanny Sweetums smiled at Spike, but in the same way Applejack smiled when she lied. Still, Spike absolutely loved the meal and said his thank yous to the chef and Nanny.
Night had fallen over Ponyville and the lights from the buildings lit the streets as he walked home. As Spike walked, he thought about the day and how it went. He woke up hoping to win over Rarity, got rejected, was taunted, saved a drowning pony, got a free bath and a meal and made two new friends. All in all, today was a pretty good day for Spike. Still licking his claws, Spike saw the familiar sight of the Golden Oaks Library, a rather large oak tree with a balcony sticking out of the canopy. All the lights were on, which meant Twilight was still home. Spike grinned to himself, wanting to tell his adoptive older sister about his day.
As soon as Spike entered, though, a mass of lavender crashed into him and began to squeeze him. "Spike!" Twilight nearly shouted, "Oh my Celestia, I was so worried about you! I heard what happened at Sugarcube Corner and I went to find you, but nopony had seen you! I thought you ran away!"
Spike tried desperately to get some air into his lungs to respond, but Twilight seemed to squeeze him harder and made an odd sound, something like a sniffle. "Spike, I'm so sorry I let you do that. I though Rarity might say no, but I didn't think it would happen like it did. Rarity's been at home crying all day and I was so worried about you and... *sniff*"
Spike, finally able to get a breath down, choked out, "Twili *huh*, you squeez meh."
Slowly, the lavender unicorn let him go and wiped her eyes, still sad. Spike, who gasped for air, finally got enough to speak. "Don't worry, Twilight," he said through breaths, "I'm not going to run away."
"Then, *hic* what happened to you?" Twilight asked.
"I, uh, met a new friend," Spike replied, "Her name's Diamond Tiara."
Twilight's ears perked up and her sniffling stopped, leaving her with a concerned face. "Spike," she began, "This isn't another Rarity thing, is it?"
"No, she's--"
"Because I know you're sad about Rarity rejecting you and all, but you can't just jump on the next mare you meet."
"Twilight, she's not even--"
"And that's a classic sign of depression. Spike, where did you go after Sugarcube Corner?"
"The bridge, but I--"
"Oh my Celestia! Did you try to jump off it?!"
"No, but I did fall off it with--"
Twilight gave a very shrill scream as she hugged Spike once again, this time applying her uncanny strength to his head instead of his chest. Spike thought his eyes were going to bulge out as Twilight spoke, "It's okay, Spike. You're with me now. There's nothing wrong with being sad, just jumping off bridges won't solve it. You're safe with me, Spike."
"Twilight," Spike groaned, "I'm not that upset about Rarity anymore."
Twilight was about to say something, but an unusual odor caught her snout. She sniffed a few times and looked down at Spike curiously. As she let go of his head, she noticed he was sticky with part of her pelt peeling off a portion of his face.
"Spike!" she shouted in apparent disgust, "What is all over you?!"
Spike rolled his eyes and said, "That's what I've been trying to tell you. I met a new friend today!"
"Yes, you mentioned that, but--"
"She's a filly named Diamond Tiara, not a mare. She tackled me on the bridge, which is how I fell over it. She couldn't swim, but I saved her and she invited me over to her house and I took a wonderful bubble bath. After that, I stuck around and hung out with her and her friend, Silver Spoon, and I ate the most wonderful crystal fruit!" Spike managed to ramble off in one breath.
Twilight eyed him curiously, still trying to understand what Spike had just said. "So... You made a new friend?" she asked cautiously.
"Yep!" Spike replied with a confident nod.
"Oh, well, uh, that's great!" Twilight said, trying to sound happy. Her ears perked up and a smile crossed her lips as her assistant began speaking, thankful he was alright.
Back at the mansion, Diamond Tiara sat alone in her room, fidgeting with a plush dragon. As she did, her thoughts drifted over to Spike and how nice he was. Granted, the way they met wasn't exactly the best way, but she was glad they did meet. Spike was such a nice dragon, even though Diamond had been harsh on him to begin with, and was strong and heroic. Diamond felt a small blush come to her cheeks as she thought about the look Spike had given her on the bank of the river. He looked like he had just seen another princess.
A couple knocks at her door broke her revelry and she turned to it. The door swung open to reveal a light brown earth pony wearing a red necktie and had the same icy blue eyes Diamond had. He looked tired, but he wore a very familiar smile.
"Daddy!" Diamond squealed happily as she bolted over to him. The pink filly leaped up at him and wrapped his neck into a huge hug, causing the stallion to give a small grunt, but he returned the hug.
As he hugged his daughter, Filthy spoke up. "So, Nit Pick and Nanny tell me you made a new friend today. A dragon."
"Yup!" Diamond replied with a big grin, "He's a really nice one too! He played with me and Silver Spoon the entire day and even--"
"That's nice, dear," Filthy responded with a yawn. Diamond immediately let go and looked down at the floor with a guilty expression.
"Sorry, Daddy," she mumbled, "I know you're tired. Goodnight."
Filthy's eyes widened at that. Yes, he was tired, but he didn't want to leave his only daughter yet. "What?" he asked blankly.
"I know you want to go to sleep, so I'm not going to stop you," Diamond replied as if she was apologizing.
"Now what makes you think I don't have time for my precious little filly?" Filthy asked.
Diamond flinched at that, making Filthy feel as though he had just lectured her. Giving a small sigh, Filthy put on a smile and picked up his little girl, carrying her over to her bed. He gently set her on the bed and nuzzled her snout. "Diamond, no matter how tired I am, I always have time for you," he cooed in his deep voice.
"But, I don't want you and mommy to be too tired and get sick," Diamond squeaked.
Filthy raised his head and kept smiling at his little pink angel, who was looking quite unhappy. "I have time, Diamond. Now, why don't you tell me about this new friend?"
For the next forty minutes, Diamond rattled off things about Spike. She told her father about the adventures he had been on, how he could eat crystal fruits raw and how cool it was that he was a dragon. Filthy, of course, smiled the whole time and asked some questions, particularly about how they met, but listened as his daughter spoke.
"Well, he sounds like a nice colt, er, uh, drake," Filthy corrected himself, "I would like to meet him one day."
"Yeah, me and Silver are going to try and get him to come over tomorrow!" Diamond responded with a small hop on her bed.
"Speaking of which, where is she?" Filthy said, looking around the room.
"Oh, Silver went home already. Her mother came around looking for her."
"Ah, I see..."
"So, are you going to tuck me in?"
"Of course. What father wouldn't?"
After she snuggled into her bed with her plush dragon, Filthy gave his daughter a kiss goodnight and shut off the lights.
"Daddy?" Diamond asked timidly.
"Yes?"
"I love you!"
Filthy smiled as he stood in the doorway and looked back at his little filly. "I love you too," he replied and shut the door.
It took Filthy a few minutes to walk to his own room, but his butler, Nit Pick, managed to find him.
"Ah, good evening, sir," the white pony greeted him, "It's good to see you."
"Same to you, Nit," Filthy responded, "I take it all went well today?"
"Very much so," Nit replied and began walking with Filthy, "The house was thoroughly cleaned, the shipment of crystal fruits arrived two hours late and the mail was delivered to the wrong address again, but it was nothing important."
"Very good," Filthy said, trotting along.
"There was one minor issue today, sir. You see, Diamond's caretaker, Ms. Nanny, is getting too close again."
"Oh?"
"Ms. Nanny, in the past, has tried to usurp your wife's position as Diamond's primary caretaker, often referring to Diamond as her daughter. This could have some serious impact on Diamond's relationship with her mother, leading to instability in the future."
"I see..."
Nit gave a small sideways glance to Filthy and continued. "Forgive me, Filthy, but I would recommend either replacing Nanny or talking to her."
"Is that so?" Filthy replied, seemingly uninterested.
"Do you like it that Ms. Nanny holds a greater position in Diamond's mind than your own wife?"
Filthy sighed heavily and said, "It's all because of Nanny that Diamond's remotely normal."
"Really? How so, sir?"
"I haven't seen my wife in almost four months, Nit. For Diamond, it's been even longer. I'm rather glad Nanny is being a pony Diamond can rely on."
"Uh..."
"I had a bit of a revelation today, Nit," Filthy began as the two ponies entered into his study. It was a large room, made to look like an office, but decorated more leisurely to help ease the mood. "You see, I've been working for days at my business to assure myself that Diamond would be happy in the future. However, one of my business partners just had a huge breakdown today about her daughter. Apparently, her daughter, who is the same age as Diamond, asked who she was when she returned home."
"Oh dear. That must have been bad."
"Exactly," Filthy accentuated, "My own wife has hardly been around for Diamond. I make time for her, but she doesn't even write to her own child. I'm not saying I'm a shining example of a parent, but I at least come home and tuck her in every day. Still, that doesn't mean much. Diamond is alone from the time she gets up until it's time for her to sleep. I thought about that all day today, and I realized I'm an atrocious parent to her."
"Filthy," Nit Pick interrupted, "You mustn't be so harsh on yourself. While it is true your wife is away a long time, you make the most out of your time with her. She loves you for that."
Filthy sighed heavily and planted his rump into a very squishy, yet comfy, chair. "But you see the problem, Nit? Diamond doesn't need her father as much as she needs her mother. I'm there enough to make her happy, but I've seen her around Nanny. She adores her more than even me. It makes me sad to think I've wasted my potential with her, but I smile at her when she's carefree and happy. I know she's happy with Nanny and I would be a terrible parent to separate them."
Nit Pick just sighed at that and brought over a small glass of amber liquid. Filthy was right with his assumptions on Diamond's relationship with Nanny, but he seemed to severely underestimate his own. Nit had seen her reactions to Filthy's arrivals and the smiles she had when she was around him. If anyone could make Diamond happy, it was her father. Still, it was not his place to lecture his master. Nit gave him the glass and Filthy slowly downed it, savoring the flavor.
"I will honor whatever decision you make, Filthy," Nit spoke in a reassuring tone, "I'm worried about Diamond as much as you are. She's a bright young filly and I don't want to see her become anything less."
Filthy sighed again and replied, "Thank Celestia I have you around, Nit."
Well done! Much clearer relationships in the dialogue, and nice hints about the future...
Another excellent chapter!
Aww, great chapter.
Most of this stuff I wouldn't account for a "pretty good day".
2476296
That was supposed to be a joke.
2476303
I know, that's why I
I like Filthy Rich; he doesn't wave his money around and isn't arrogant just like Fancy Pants.
I loved Twilight's reaction to Spike saying that he went to a bridge
Good job on making Diamond and Filthy into likeable characters with a "Daaaaww" inducing father daughter relationship.
Though how long was that mother away to get a "who are you?" from her own daughter?
Because that's pretty insane
A more in depth, lovable side to Diamond Tiara...I love it
I was worried that filthy wouldn't be a likeable character....
So glad I was wrong! This chapter puts into perspective Diamond's family.....well done!
Loving the story so far, don't see any reasons why I wouldn't, keep up the good work
Very nice.
Great chapter! Loving the character development of everyone a this story.
Keep up the good work!
2476296 2476303 Well, maybe it would not be a good day in Spike's opinion, but isn't exploring a life away from obsessing over Rarity good for him? Spike couldn't be more obvious about his kiddie crush, so did Twi let him have it, thinking that it was a lesson for him to learn? Or that it was harmless, or got him out of her hair? It seems that he's chased Rarity for a long time, and Rarity just pulled him along for who knows what reason, until she crushed his hopes and dreams, which I'm not sure if she should be blamed for it, since Spike is easily deluded.
2476672
I was only joking
Will Diamond Tiara's mother play a big part in the story?
Did Twilight stupidly plant the beginnings of Murphy's Law?
Will Silver Spoon end up playing an important role?
Are the crusaders going to join the fray?
So many questions that only time will tell.
2476675 Good one! Eh, I thought it was a good day for Spike. Being taunted, and doing things with Diamond took his mind off being depressed. He got to eat yummy crystals, brag, play dress up, meet a maid...
DT's mom has been away for over four months? Yup she's cheating and having an affair.
I'm curious. Is there going to be a time skip sometime in the story?
2476311 Um...are we thinking of the same Fancy Pants? In the one episode he had any lines in, he was a decent guy. And when Rarity's friends crashed his party, he didn't seem to mind.
Gahh! You are making me like Diamond Tiara and her father! Great story so far though. Can't wait to see where you go with it.
2477104
I believe he meant Blueblood.
Oh my god! I absolutely LOVE this story! I am
patientlywaiting for your next chapter!Is it wrong that I find it hilarious whenever Twilight freaks out and assumes the worst? Like in this chapter her mind just jumps to Spike being love sick and suicidal. I figured ad the scene continued she would probably make plans to take Spike to go see a child psychologist.
Nit Pick is kind of a dick with the whole trying to get Nanny fired, but at least his name is appropriate. I can appreciate that he doesn't act out of malice and he tries to justify his reasoning in a way that makes some sense, so kudos for that. I can't imagine he's popular at the Hearths Warming parties with the other help and if he was invited to go to a bar with the rest of them, he'd be a major buzzkill.
As for Filthy, he's rich "no pun intended" he could just hire a few employees to run his store and go do the whole parenting thing.
Wow your own child asking who you are, thats deep.
Screw NIT! She has Spike around! MOAR!
2477811That would make a lot more sense
2476698
Can't tell.
Not really.
Yes.
Yes.
These answers are brought to you by Time Magazine.
2477104
Did I word that so he sounded like a bad guy? I did, didn't I? Crap, I did not mean to do that. Work with how I write words, I must.
2477893 Nit Pick is the butler, which would make him head of the household staff, in other words: The Boss.
So he should have a somewhat distant relationship with the rest of the staff.
2479404
Still when I think of good butlers from fiction, I tend to think Alfred Pennyworth, Baldrick from Blackadder, Lurch and Belvedere.
Nit Pick reminds me of the douchey, snooty butler: Smithers from the Archie comics. which ironically enough also worked for a "rich" business man with a stuck up of a daughter, who ends up with a average dude.
2479602
Alfred is a good butler, but he strives to maintain a level of professionalism. Nit is doing the same.
very nice (:
Only thing that confuses me is why you have an adult Diamond Tiara for the cover image
Nit pick possible Evil butler?
2480140 although I thought it was a teen tiara, the story still describes her younger
2480478 it's just a coverart, but DT is still a filly in the fic
2480140 maybe it just was cool for the author
2480140>>2480868
Because she's going to get older as the story goes on.
2480880 cool
2481023
THIS Ladies and Gentlecolts, is going to get interesting...
2480475
Poor diamond... i know that feeling... Also great fic!
Is spike going to become a supervillain or something?
Also liked & faved
Great characterization of Filthy Rich, he always struck me as a very level-headed member of society from his short canon appearances. As much as I hate canon DT, that's why fanfiction is so great. It can bring otherwise detestable/forgettable characters to life in delightful ways. And you, good sir, are doing just that. I look forward to seeing this relationship progress, either for better or for worse...
And poor Rarity. I hope that whole situation gets resolved.
Very good! You continue you have me excited I see one of your updates.
more please
If you love this book a lot and can't take any, I repeat, ANY criticism, even, in my case, just one small piece of it, then don't read this.
I do like this, it's well written, but I can't make myself read more than the first 15 paragraphs. I'd rather not explain why I have such a dislike of one, just one factor of the book, in the first paragraphs, but I couldn't ignore because I feel like I had a protest about it against someone once. I think that's enough build-up to my one dislike, but...it's that Spike was hatched out of his egg when Twilight was just a filly, and that would mean that Rarity is really not that much older than spike; the real problem is that he still looks young because, well, this is explained in "Secret of my Excess". Now, don't take this the wrong way, it's still a great book. It's just not of my own liking, in my own specific personal opinion. Now, before an onslaught of protest hits me on how I'm wrong, lemme just clarify that I'm still giving it a hoof up. Or thumbs up. I forgot what they use on this site.
Please don't kill me.
2594620 Boom. Headshot.
i1.ytimg.com/vi/XWk4QDbxkT4/hqdefault.jpg
2603550
I admit, I would dislike my post if it weren't my post. But screw that.
This review brought to you by: Authors Helping Authors.
Story Name: All That Glitters...
Grammar Score: 8/10.
Pros:
-- Characterization of Spike and Diamond Tiara. Those are two characters who I'm not especially fond of, and who are really easy to mess up in fanfiction, but you get them pretty well.
-- Dialogue is natural and believable to the characters.
-- You add a lot of little touches, like the temperature for Spike's bath being just right or the details of Diamond Tiara's favorite story, that give this story life that a lot of other stories lack.
Cons:
-- Some commas are used where they shouldn't be. This is the most recurrent grammar issue and the main reason why grammar is 8/10.
-- Are the characters show-age, or older? The pic is of an older Diamond Tiara, but the story appears to treat them as children.
-- "Spike moaned." "Filthy accentuated." Said is not a dirty word, in fact it is one of the most invisible words in the English language, like the. Of course, some of the replacements for said fit—this chapter's use of squealed, for example, gets Diamond Tiara's shrieking voice and her excitement across in one perfect word—so take it with a grain of salt.
Notes:
Shipping, a genre I really don't care for. Spike and Diamond Tiara, two characters who basically make me go "meh." So why do I like this so much?
You have a new loyal follower, good sir. I know you're most famous for The Golden Armor, so I hope to read that soon-ish. (I've got a big To Read list and a busy summer lined up, so...)
If you wouldn't mind, reviewing my fic On a Pale Horse would be much appreciated. Sorry to ask, I know you must be very busy.