The arrival of a strange comet over Equestria is causing all the mares in the kingdom to exhibit rather provocative behavior. However, Celestia has a plan to maintain order, but she'll need stallions, especially Big Macintosh, to make it work.
Well, looks like Big Macintosh has managed to snag three so far - both Princesses and Rarity - and it sounds like his efforts may have already born fruit. I find it hilarious that Celestia didn't tell Rarity who she was to expect.
The second chapter took me about a week to write. I finished it very early this morning. I'm really happy with how it turned out though. Thanks for the compliments!
I really want to capture that aspect of her personality. In the show she is purposely vague about what needs to be done on numerous occasions. Of course, she does that with the intention of having Twilight and her friends puzzle it out on their own. Glad you liked it!
I'm slowly working my way into longer scenes, and I definitely had a larger number of them in this chapter. I do hope what I'm writing elicits more of a "That was intense!" reaction instead of a "That's it? Boring..." sentiment from my audience though. Onward and upwards!
My word if Big Mac is that good Celestia and Luna might just have to fight the elements for the right to keep him. >_> It will be an all out war. But either way Luna will win in the end, cause they cant stop him from dreaming!....Although He did say he wanted to stay so I do see him probably going back and staying in canterlot, or continuous visits to his farm.
Oh and.....Dear lord Mac you might just be a father to the princesses foals if it is all good. Good on you!.....So many ideas.
I'm sorry but this is just a huge pet peeve of mine.
"You've become quite the kisser, my little stallion," whispered Celestia huskily, "and I think your ready to learn your final lesson."
FUCKING. YOU'RE.
Sorry I just, it makes me cringe when I see this. I know it's easy to miss and not a big deal but I just can't stand it.
Another thing, do they refer to hands as hooves in this universe or are they anthros with hooves not hands? I only ask because at the table scene it said Celestia's hoof yet in Ponyville they held hands. It's a bit confusing.
I only wonder how long he can keep this from AppleJack......and what'll happen to him once she finds out...if that's once the princesses and the other elements start 'showing,' or if it's when Princess Celestia gives him the instruction to seduce HER
2063789 This is just my opinion, but I interpreted that scene as Celestia playing 'footsie' - or in this case, 'hoofsie' - with Big Mac. In human terms, it was her foot running along his leg under the table...or at least, that's how I interpreted the scene.
"You seem to have found your resolve," noted Celestia with a wink, her hoof now gently resting against his stiffening length, "still...I wonder if you've truly been paying attention during your physical exams..."
Her leg must be damn flexible if it could go up his pant leg and lay it on his dick. I can see that hooves probably are feet, but that scene just seems weird to me.
No fighting necessary. Sharing is caring! After all, I did base the 10/20 to 1 ratio of mares to stallions on the show. It is crazy to see how many of the background ponies are female (I know that is due to the show's target demographic though).
Thanks for spotting the typo, but was the f-bomb really necessary? I assure you I know the difference between the two words, but in a chapter that approaches 11,000 words, that one just happened to slip through the cracks. Also, if you look at the image attached to the story, that is how I envision my characters looking. You can clearly see that they have hands with fingers, but hooves instead of feet.
I'm all about variety. There are too many interesting characters in the show (looks, personalities, etc.) to just focus on one or two in my opinion. Glad you enjoyed it!
I don't think the glorious leader will send a missive containing those instructions, but Applejack is gonna do some snooping around when she notices her friends are acting awfully peculiar.
Yeah, I admit that I'm not too familiar with Texan phonetics. I'm from the southern United States myself, and I'm trying to replicate the inflections/word choice I hear in the show as best I can. Thanks for the advice though. I'll try to work on making them more accurate.
I think it is understood that her hoof is outside the pant leg. I guess I could elaborate a little more by including a description of the cloth barrier between them at that point of contact though.
All Hail The King of Swag; And All Things Having to do With Pleasing The Mares! ----------><----------
You Sir, are a genius! And you have my enternal gratititude for finally giving me the first fic I have ever read that finally portrays BM for what he truly is...(or at least this pleases my head cannon)...A Stud! By all definition of the word!
2064046 I'm sorry for my outburst, like I said its just an extreme pet peeve of mine and I realize cussing was indeed unneeded. I understand that it's easy to miss these things when you write really long chapters. I get it, and I just kinda overreacted. Sorry about that.
Stupid question time: Are the princesses going to be included as "baby-makers" when the week is over? Or is big mac just doing nothing but satisfying the sexual desires?
A nice chapter, more to the wooing than the sex. The Diarchs and the Fashionista... wasn't expecting ehr to be first, AJ's gonna blow a gasket when she hears about all this On the other hand.... "Well shoot, of course ma big brothers gonna harvest the whole tree if the one of the princess' asks him..."
No harm done brony. I should spend a little more time describing the characters (body, limbs, hair, etc.) from a third-person perspective, so I'll work on that in the next chapter.
I'm going to reply to both your comments in this one post. First of all...thank you so very much. I just went through chapter one and made all of the corrections you listed. I know that took some effort to catalog and post, and I can't tell you how humbled I am that you did it in the first place. Some of those errors...ugh, it makes me cringe thinking about how I missed those.
I'm glad I turned out to be a case of "don't judge a book by its cover" for you. I know my avatar and abstract are a little goofy, but really they are just placeholders until I found something better. I'm really looking forward to your input on chapter two, and hope you keep reading until the end.
Chapter 2. Do I need to say anything else? … Nnnnnope!
… “Luna would beside herself” – I believe you meant to place a “be” between “would” and “beside”.
… “stood as a still as a scarecrow” – Remove the first “a”, so it reads “stood as still as a scarecrow”.
… “didn't peak at it” – Okay, despite it being said by Applejack, “peek” and “peak” sound the same, so it might as well just be “peek”.
… “as you are ought to do” – I believe the “are” is not meant to be in that sentence… but really, the whole sentence just sounds… strange… it’s the ‘ought’.
… “welcome to Carousel” – Considering how her previous statement ended in an exclamation mark, starting this with a capital letter would make more sense.
… “She bite her lower” – ‘bite’ should be ‘bit’.
… “a rampage insider her,” – It should be ‘inside her’, instead of ‘insider her’.
… “I’m just getting’ started” – Okay, I don’t understand the purpose of the apostrophe after ‘getting’. ‘gettin’ ‘, I understand, but not “getting’”.
… “yes, you magnificent” – Same as earlier, the previous statement ended with an exclamation mark, so this should start with a capital letter.
… “of her person reveled” – It should be ‘revealed’ rather than ‘reveled’.
… Damn! Compared to the previous chapter, this was much less convoluted! The confusion about the Anthro factor had since been removed, though now comes the other factors.
The chapter itself was stellar. Rarity honestly seemed like she could only possibly be seen as 'Rarity'. This is as opposed to Luna in the previous chapter, whose personality made her honestly seem, at times, like she could be viewed as some sort of schizophrenic Fluttershy.
DO NOT SLANDER ME! Umm, what I meant was, erm, I, oh...
Macintosh was freakin' smoooooooth in this chapter. When he's the main character of interest, I must say, you do an incredible job of portraying him. He still retains his traits from before, even when he's being more assertive with regards to not doing what Rarity was asking (until she was demanding, but then again, she wasn't quite adhering to 'wants' at that point... )
The only negative thing about this chapter was the "lesson cut-away'. At first, I honestly had no idea what was going on, and honestly thought you set up the Rarity scene as a 'dream sequence'. I even skipped a bit ahead just to make sure that you didn't do that! Thankfully, it all turned out well, even if it was rather surreal...
... but really? "Bramblebottom"? Sounds like the perpetually saddlesore cousin to Fancy Pants.
... Yeah, I definitely wanna see where this goes from here. My only question would probably be with regards to who he'd be rutting, if there would be others aside from the "Mane 6" and The Princesses... His numbers were "10 mares to a stallion", So I kinda thought "TEN mares? Who the hell else would there be!?"
Well, I guess I'll just have to wait and find out... and don't you fret, I'll be here... in the shadows...
The author has already stated that Big Mac is the primary stallion protagonist in this narrative, so unfortunately for me there's apparently going to be no sign of Spike in it. (1/2 of my favorite pairing, I don't think Rarity would mind though ). Though if we see Twilight, I would have it in here as potentially a stand for a threesome. Nobody has even considered a threeway of Big Mac, Spike, and Twilight...whoops that is possibly for another chapter, and the author has stated the premise...oh well.
Regardless of this, I want to see more!!! It was a good scene. A little short, but considering that you also are showing that Celestia is giving Macintosh helpers and advice to complete his task as needed, the abruptness of it is fine. Rarity was definitely in character with the entire romance thing, all the way down to the rose petals, so to see that she finally gave in to Mac's dominant persona was a definite plus!! Seems that Rarity has shown that she can give as well as she takes.
More Applejack/Big Macintosh dialogue was fine, though it should be a bit prickly as the story advances. Applejack is established as the Element of Honesty for a reason, so I do wonder what would happen when she finds out that Big Macintosh has gone around and began rutting all of her friends. Even if it is a royal perogative, Applejack's temperment looks to have the begins of a explosive climax. (pun definitely intended!! )
Sweet mother of mercy. This is amazing. You are amazing. I love how...kinky Celestia is in this. Goodness gracious. I absolutely love the pattern that I hope you are building. Big Mac gets super secret mission to go..."do business" with somepony. Somepony has no idea who they are actually expecting. Big Mac must seduce them himself. Celestia interrupts with one quick tidbit of advice to help him REALLY go for it. And then bam. SENSUALITY.
Superbly classy. Most tasteful. Do go on, sir. I am most eager to read some more of this.
2066063 Oh, there's no question that I'll be continuing to read this! I proofread so that, once corrections are made, no one could possibly lose their own sense of immersion when reading a high-quality fic like this. Yeah, some will debate against me on that, but the way I see it, this IS a quality fic, no question. I almost feel bad calling it a 'clopfic'... So I'll just call it a 'story' and meet in at the crossroads of 'concept' and 'perception': What people relate a word to, and what I see it as.
Also, don't feel bad about missing some of these. I've edited chapters of my own fic (fics, actually, I complete works before publishing) more times than I can count, and I STILL go through my own fic and find errors. I mean, after one or two proofreads, "Okay, yeah, I missed that, I'll buy it..." After 7 chapter read-throughs, I just look at a typo of mine for several minutes and go "... you really DO exist, I-I can't deny you... HOW did I miss you?... Just... how? "
But hey, it seems like I'm not even the only one dedicated to locating and pointing out errors, and I'll be damned if I don't envy 'ya for having such a well-written vocabulary and pretty cool-as-ice readers and fans, too!
Thanks again ShimmeringStallion, I'll make those corrections right way. Luna is going to be a bit more calm and collected in future chapters (she got over her 1,000-year-no-stallion jitters after her three day "vacation"), and I do hope I can make the memory scenes less awkward in the future. Those are my "letter-writing" moments!
I view Spike as a child, so I'm not comfortable writing intimate scenes about him. He'll still make an appearance though. Applejack is going to get feisty, but not that kind of feisty. She's going to go into Sherclop Ponnes, horse detective mode, though.
2068053 Well if the past is indicative of the future, it'll feel more 'natural' as the story continues, much like the scenes where I'd debate what is "anthro" and what isn't. (Which was pretty clear-cut in this chapter, since this had a reduction in scenery and physical depictions, seeming to rely more on emotional or psychological assets such as Rarity's 'heat', or Big Macintosh's fears as he returned to Ponyville.)
Luna's reactions were hilarious, but they just seemed awkward. Not 'bad', just humorously peculiar at times. No need to worry about it, though; just keep gettin' chapters out... and as for me, I'll continue abiding by the last line of your Story Description:
I want the narrative to improve as I continue, so please help me with that goal by posting detailed sentences.
2068053 No wonder the Apple family is so huge... The Apple family has strong stallions and the comet comes by every once in a while Wonder how the rest of the Apple stallions are doing....
Daaaaaaaaamn, Macintosh. You sure know how to work the ladies mares. That was, for lack of a better term, impressive. I wonder how he's going to deal with mysterious mare number two.
Then he would have one HELL of a child support bill to pay. Then again he'd be the father of Celetia and Luna's babies so chances are he'd be swimming in bits!
You KIDDIN' me!? I read your fic up to 6,382 words in, leave to get a drink, come back, and there's another chapter!?
... Well, you sure are diligent! I'll continue my viewing of your first chapter before moving to the next. Thanks for the next chapter, in advance!
Well well well, I must certainly say Celestia is rather cryptic as usual. Excellent work: can't wait for more!
I see you did what I asked.
Just a smidge more detail and a little longer of a sex scene wouldn't hurt.
But hey, it's progress!
GOOD GOD, that was quick. An update a day later? You sir are marvelous
So Big Mac x Rarity now? Tres chic.
Well, looks like Big Macintosh has managed to snag three so far - both Princesses and Rarity - and it sounds like his efforts may have already born fruit. I find it hilarious that Celestia didn't tell Rarity who she was to expect.
2062903
The second chapter took me about a week to write. I finished it very early this morning. I'm really happy with how it turned out though. Thanks for the compliments!
2062995
I really want to capture that aspect of her personality. In the show she is purposely vague about what needs to be done on numerous occasions. Of course, she does that with the intention of having Twilight and her friends puzzle it out on their own. Glad you liked it!
2063026
I'm slowly working my way into longer scenes, and I definitely had a larger number of them in this chapter. I do hope what I'm writing elicits more of a "That was intense!" reaction instead of a "That's it? Boring..." sentiment from my audience though. Onward and upwards!
2063030
The harem grows. Next chapter is going to be a super-duper-awesome-fun-cool one to write!
2063052
I loved writing that scene. I really hope you guys got a laugh out of it because I couldn't stop smiling while I typed it up.
2063189
....dat fore-shadowing...
My word if Big Mac is that good Celestia and Luna might just have to fight the elements for the right to keep him. >_> It will be an all out war. But either way Luna will win in the end, cause they cant stop him from dreaming!....Although He did say he wanted to stay so I do see him probably going back and staying in canterlot, or continuous visits to his farm.
Oh and.....Dear lord Mac you might just be a father to the princesses foals if it is all good. Good on you!.....So many ideas.
2063194 ... Okay. This, Mac may not survive.
2063728
Well, to be fair, he did have a 3 day long threesome. Any man that can survive that can PROBABLY survive what's coming (ifyaknowwhatimean)
I'm sorry but this is just a huge pet peeve of mine.
FUCKING. YOU'RE.
Sorry I just, it makes me cringe when I see this. I know it's easy to miss and not a big deal but I just can't stand it.
Another thing, do they refer to hands as hooves in this universe or are they anthros with hooves not hands? I only ask because at the table scene it said Celestia's hoof yet in Ponyville they held hands. It's a bit confusing.
Got some Rarimac here, that's pretty neat. Never did like that pairing though but you pulled it off rather well
I only wonder how long he can keep this from AppleJack......and what'll happen to him once she finds out...if that's once the princesses and the other elements start 'showing,' or if it's when Princess Celestia gives him the instruction to seduce HER
2063789
This is just my opinion, but I interpreted that scene as Celestia playing 'footsie' - or in this case, 'hoofsie' - with Big Mac. In human terms, it was her foot running along his leg under the table...or at least, that's how I interpreted the scene.
2063998
Her leg must be damn flexible if it could go up his pant leg and lay it on his dick. I can see that hooves probably are feet, but that scene just seems weird to me.
2063257
Eeyup.
2063377
No fighting necessary. Sharing is caring! After all, I did base the 10/20 to 1 ratio of mares to stallions on the show. It is crazy to see how many of the background ponies are female (I know that is due to the show's target demographic though).
2063728
He's a survivor. Big Mac too strong.
2063739
Party time! He's got his work cut out for him.
2063789
Thanks for spotting the typo, but was the f-bomb really necessary? I assure you I know the difference between the two words, but in a chapter that approaches 11,000 words, that one just happened to slip through the cracks. Also, if you look at the image attached to the story, that is how I envision my characters looking. You can clearly see that they have hands with fingers, but hooves instead of feet.
2063856
I'm all about variety. There are too many interesting characters in the show (looks, personalities, etc.) to just focus on one or two in my opinion. Glad you enjoyed it!
2063871
I don't think the glorious leader will send a missive containing those instructions, but Applejack is gonna do some snooping around when she notices her friends are acting awfully peculiar.
2063899
Yeah, I admit that I'm not too familiar with Texan phonetics. I'm from the southern United States myself, and I'm trying to replicate the inflections/word choice I hear in the show as best I can. Thanks for the advice though. I'll try to work on making them more accurate.
2063998
You are correct! Hoofsie would be the correct term I guess. Ha!
2064011
I think it is understood that her hoof is outside the pant leg. I guess I could elaborate a little more by including a description of the cloth barrier between them at that point of contact though.
im loving it so far keep up the good work
All Hail The King of Swag; And All Things Having to do With Pleasing The Mares!
----------><----------
You Sir, are a genius! And you have my enternal gratititude for finally giving me the first fic I have ever read that finally portrays BM for what he truly is...(or at least this pleases my head cannon)...A Stud! By all definition of the word!
And to top it all off...you're not even done yet!
2064074
Ah, my mistake.
2064046
I'm sorry for my outburst, like I said its just an extreme pet peeve of mine and I realize cussing was indeed unneeded. I understand that it's easy to miss these things when you write really long chapters. I get it, and I just kinda overreacted. Sorry about that.
Well, that was intense. I wish I could like/fave this fic more than once. I eagerly look forward to the Pinkie chapter.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my bunk.
2064191
My god…Incoming severe pelvic injury.
2063189
Yes, you are indeed making progress. I'm sure you'll have pegged it easy by the time the story's over.
This makes me wonder, will there be an Epilogue chapter set a few years in the future?
T'would be an interesting thing indeed.
Stupid question time: Are the princesses going to be included as "baby-makers" when the week is over? Or is big mac just doing nothing but satisfying the sexual desires?
The sex scene in this chapter was much improved over the one from the previous chapter. Seriously, this entire chapter was simply marvelous.
Big Mac needs to watch out, though, if he's not careful he's going end with Spike on his ass, lol.
The only way reading this could be a more surreal experience is if flying saucers were involved. o.O This is a good thing, mind you.
A nice chapter, more to the wooing than the sex.
The Diarchs and the Fashionista... wasn't expecting ehr to be first, AJ's gonna blow a gasket when she hears about all this
On the other hand.... "Well shoot, of course ma big brothers gonna harvest the whole tree if the one of the princess' asks him..."
2064110
Thank you very much. Also, It is a Gundam, right?
2064129
I channel my inner Big Macintosh while I write. Swag. Seriously though, thank you for such lofty praise. It means a lot.
2064190
No harm done brony. I should spend a little more time describing the characters (body, limbs, hair, etc.) from a third-person perspective, so I'll work on that in the next chapter.
2064191
The Pinkie chapter is going to be a lot of fun to write. Maybe I'll even break the fourth wall! Enjoy your "nap!"
2064252
Big Mac is definitely going to have his hands full trying to contain the maelstrom that is Pinkie Pie.
2064423
I'm going to reply to both your comments in this one post. First of all...thank you so very much. I just went through chapter one and made all of the corrections you listed. I know that took some effort to catalog and post, and I can't tell you how humbled I am that you did it in the first place. Some of those errors...ugh, it makes me cringe thinking about how I missed those.
I'm glad I turned out to be a case of "don't judge a book by its cover" for you. I know my avatar and abstract are a little goofy, but really they are just placeholders until I found something better. I'm really looking forward to your input on chapter two, and hope you keep reading until the end.
2064993
Epilogue chapter is a definite possibility at this point. Foals, foals everywhere!
2065173
It is a mix of both my good brony, and that is my current plan. Shining Armor and Cadence got married, so they can have foals, right? I hope so.
2065481
Sneaky brony is sneaky. Glad I could make you laugh out loud! This news pleases me greatly.
2065807
Thanks! I'm glad you thought I showed some improvement in chapter two. Also, I don't think Spike would take the news so well. Poor little dude.
2065173
What if Big Mac becomes a father to every mares' foals?
I love these quick escalations.(No sarcasm intended)
This just keeps getting more awesome... Right Big Mac? :Eeyup!
Glad to see another chapter of this.
Chapter 2. Do I need to say anything else?
… Nnnnnope!
… “Luna would beside herself” – I believe you meant to place a “be” between “would” and “beside”.
… “stood as a still as a scarecrow” – Remove the first “a”, so it reads “stood as still as a scarecrow”.
… “didn't peak at it” – Okay, despite it being said by Applejack, “peek” and “peak” sound the same, so it might as well just be “peek”.
… “as you are ought to do” – I believe the “are” is not meant to be in that sentence… but really, the whole sentence just sounds… strange… it’s the ‘ought’.
… “welcome to Carousel” – Considering how her previous statement ended in an exclamation mark, starting this with a capital letter would make more sense.
… “She bite her lower” – ‘bite’ should be ‘bit’.
… “a rampage insider her,” – It should be ‘inside her’, instead of ‘insider her’.
… “I’m just getting’ started” – Okay, I don’t understand the purpose of the apostrophe after ‘getting’. ‘gettin’ ‘, I understand, but not “getting’”.
… “yes, you magnificent” – Same as earlier, the previous statement ended with an exclamation mark, so this should start with a capital letter.
… “of her person reveled” – It should be ‘revealed’ rather than ‘reveled’.
… Damn! Compared to the previous chapter, this was much less convoluted! The confusion about the Anthro factor had since been removed, though now comes the other factors.
The chapter itself was stellar. Rarity honestly seemed like she could only possibly be seen as 'Rarity'. This is as opposed to Luna in the previous chapter, whose personality made her honestly seem, at times, like she could be viewed as some sort of schizophrenic Fluttershy.
DO NOT SLANDER ME!
Umm, what I meant was, erm, I, oh...
Macintosh was freakin' smoooooooth in this chapter. When he's the main character of interest, I must say, you do an incredible job of portraying him. He still retains his traits from before, even when he's being more assertive with regards to not doing what Rarity was asking (until she was demanding, but then again, she wasn't quite adhering to 'wants' at that point... )
The only negative thing about this chapter was the "lesson cut-away'. At first, I honestly had no idea what was going on, and honestly thought you set up the Rarity scene as a 'dream sequence'. I even skipped a bit ahead just to make sure that you didn't do that! Thankfully, it all turned out well, even if it was rather surreal...
... but really? "Bramblebottom"? Sounds like the perpetually saddlesore cousin to Fancy Pants.
... Yeah, I definitely wanna see where this goes from here. My only question would probably be with regards to who he'd be rutting, if there would be others aside from the "Mane 6" and The Princesses... His numbers were "10 mares to a stallion", So I kinda thought "TEN mares? Who the hell else would there be!?"
Well, I guess I'll just have to wait and find out... and don't you fret, I'll be here... in the shadows...
... proofreading for future readers.
2064252
[youtube=v3ru-hvq7wA]
2065807
The author has already stated that Big Mac is the primary stallion protagonist in this narrative, so unfortunately for me there's apparently going to be no sign of Spike in it. (1/2 of my favorite pairing, I don't think Rarity would mind though ). Though if we see Twilight, I would have it in here as potentially a stand for a threesome. Nobody has even considered a threeway of Big Mac, Spike, and Twilight...whoops that is possibly for another chapter, and the author has stated the premise...oh well.
Regardless of this, I want to see more!!! It was a good scene. A little short, but considering that you also are showing that Celestia is giving Macintosh helpers and advice to complete his task as needed, the abruptness of it is fine. Rarity was definitely in character with the entire romance thing, all the way down to the rose petals, so to see that she finally gave in to Mac's dominant persona was a definite plus!! Seems that Rarity has shown that she can give as well as she takes.
More Applejack/Big Macintosh dialogue was fine, though it should be a bit prickly as the story advances. Applejack is established as the Element of Honesty for a reason, so I do wonder what would happen when she finds out that Big Macintosh has gone around and began rutting all of her friends. Even if it is a royal perogative, Applejack's temperment looks to have the begins of a explosive climax. (pun definitely intended!! )
HAWT. DAAAAYUM.
Sweet mother of mercy. This is amazing. You are amazing. I love how...kinky Celestia is in this. Goodness gracious. I absolutely love the pattern that I hope you are building. Big Mac gets super secret mission to go..."do business" with somepony. Somepony has no idea who they are actually expecting. Big Mac must seduce them himself. Celestia interrupts with one quick tidbit of advice to help him REALLY go for it. And then bam. SENSUALITY.
Superbly classy. Most tasteful. Do go on, sir. I am most eager to read some more of this.
However:
Should be "revealed" I think.
new chapter, sweet.
BRAVO GOOD SIR! THE COMPENDIUM APPROVES OF THIS! BIG MAC WILL GET ALL THE LADIES, THEN THE WORLD! EEYUP
Damn. Big Mac is without a doubt the luckiest stallion in the world.
But he's gonna have to really step up his game for Pinkie Pie.
2067575 Your opinion: Well-constructed and true.
Your Avatar: "Whooooa nelly... I'm gonna be the focus of a future chapter, aren't I?"
2066063 Oh, there's no question that I'll be continuing to read this! I proofread so that, once corrections are made, no one could possibly lose their own sense of immersion when reading a high-quality fic like this. Yeah, some will debate against me on that, but the way I see it, this IS a quality fic, no question. I almost feel bad calling it a 'clopfic'... So I'll just call it a 'story' and meet in at the crossroads of 'concept' and 'perception': What people relate a word to, and what I see it as.
Also, don't feel bad about missing some of these. I've edited chapters of my own fic (fics, actually, I complete works before publishing) more times than I can count, and I STILL go through my own fic and find errors. I mean, after one or two proofreads, "Okay, yeah, I missed that, I'll buy it..." After 7 chapter read-throughs, I just look at a typo of mine for several minutes and go "... you really DO exist, I-I can't deny you... HOW did I miss you?... Just... how? "
But hey, it seems like I'm not even the only one dedicated to locating and pointing out errors, and I'll be damned if I don't envy 'ya for having such a well-written vocabulary and pretty cool-as-ice readers and fans, too!
2065977
Things tend to get a little extraordinary when magic is involved. <- she likes it that way.
2066016
Yeah, Big Mac is a good guy like that. I'm really going to enjoy writing Applejack's investigation scenes. Will Rarity crack under the pressure?
2066095
Sweet Apple Acres is a big place. Plenty of room for tons of foals!
2066405
Maybe Big Mac can show Pinkie Pie to slow down and savor the moment. Here's hoping!
2066408
Thanks for the compliments. Big Mac is a blast to write about. Definitely my favorite male character from the show.
2066553
It isn't 100% confirmed that little ones are on the way...just 98.76% at this point. I hope you'll keep reading though. I promise they'll be cute!
2066772
Thanks again ShimmeringStallion, I'll make those corrections right way. Luna is going to be a bit more calm and collected in future chapters (she got over her 1,000-year-no-stallion jitters after her three day "vacation"), and I do hope I can make the memory scenes less awkward in the future. Those are my "letter-writing" moments!
2066940
The mind is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!
2066973
I view Spike as a child, so I'm not comfortable writing intimate scenes about him. He'll still make an appearance though. Applejack is going to get feisty, but not that kind of feisty. She's going to go into Sherclop Ponnes, horse detective mode, though.
2067055
I really like writing her scenes, which is why I'm including her in every chapter. Also, thanks for spotting that typo. I'll correct it right away.
2067176
Thanks! I hope you enjoy reading them until the end.
2067347
The words "yes," "yeah," and "uh-huh," would all be replaced with "eeyup." This we decree as king!
2067575
If there is one stallion who can weather the Rube Goldberg hurricane that is Pinkie Pie, it's Big Red without a doubt.
2068053 Well if the past is indicative of the future, it'll feel more 'natural' as the story continues, much like the scenes where I'd debate what is "anthro" and what isn't. (Which was pretty clear-cut in this chapter, since this had a reduction in scenery and physical depictions, seeming to rely more on emotional or psychological assets such as Rarity's 'heat', or Big Macintosh's fears as he returned to Ponyville.)
Luna's reactions were hilarious, but they just seemed awkward. Not 'bad', just humorously peculiar at times. No need to worry about it, though; just keep gettin' chapters out... and as for me, I'll continue abiding by the last line of your Story Description:
Sir, yes, sir!
2068053 No wonder the Apple family is so huge... The Apple family has strong stallions and the comet comes by every once in a while Wonder how the rest of the Apple stallions are doing....
Daaaaaaaaamn, Macintosh. You sure know how to work the
ladiesmares.That was, for lack of a better term, impressive. I wonder how he's going to deal with mysterious mare number two.
Spike will be very Upset when he get's word of this
2071817 then suddenly spike ruts SPike
OOOOOO!!!! PLOT TWIS!! :O
2066095
Then he would have one HELL of a child support bill to pay. Then again he'd be the father of Celetia and Luna's babies so chances are he'd be swimming in bits!
Oh Bic Mac, you're such a playa...
2074413 He's the ultimate player! He seduced the Princesses into loving him so he could go mate with everymare in Ponyville. Genius!