The Monster in the Twilight
Lies
Thoughts shuffled through Trixie’s mind like cards through a dealer’s hooves while she galloped along with her newfound ‘friends’ through the dark woods. Decisions, facts, theories, plots and schemes rattled around, shifting into different structures every time she looked at them much like those hellish times in school when it was all she could do to keep from running away and soaking her head in bourbon until the sensation of overwhelming chaos went away. Admittedly she had not succeeded in her battle against Monsieur Diable Bourbon every time, for what fun would that have been? Whenever Trixie returned after her brief ‘vacations,’ Celestia had always been waiting for her with that look of disappointment on — No!
A sharp pain of spasming muscles lanced down the side of Trixie’s face when she ground her teeth together in a fit of frustration and rage. The solid thump of the bourbon bottle across her back was not helping either, as Monsieur Bourbon whispered out his enticing call. That infernal Applejack probably gave it to her knowing the battles Trixie had with the bottle, most likely in revenge for the evenings she had spent out at the Sweet Apple Acres trying to get up the nerve to become ‘friends’ with the hick farmer’s handsome brother. Celestia had sent her to this rustic, backwards, inbred, hell-hole three times now, and the closest she had gotten to making a ‘friend’ like her teacher had commanded was that one time the big red lug had carried her off to his own bed, tucked her under the sheets, kissed her on the cheek… and then went downstairs to sleep on the couch! Admittedly the memory was bourbon-blurred to near illegibility, but it still made her swish her tail in frustration on long, cold nights.
There was something horribly wrong with this whole night, from Celestia’s behavior to her sister’s. Everypony wanted something no matter what they claimed. Words meant less than nothing compared to actions. Uncle Quartermane had taught her that many years ago, and the lesson had been hammered into her thick skull by every pony since.
Trixie had been so absolutely positive Celestia had been prepared to sacrifice everything to fight her sister, but she would never have placed innocent lives in danger again like when she fought Nightmare Moon in the Everfree.
Therefore, Celestia had not planned to fight Nightmare Moon in Ponyville.
Nopony, not even the Princess of the Sun, could have cast such a powerful escape spell into the sun unless they had prepared for it. Therefore, she had planned on vanishing into the sun. The only reason for doing that without a fight would be to drag Nightmare Moon along with her, but Celestia had not even tried. What changed her mind? The appearance of that twisted purple powerhouse and her five… friends? Could they be Laughter, Kindness, Loyalty, Generosity, and Somethingelse. Grumpy? Sleepy? Annoying?
* * *
The sharp bend in the path towered a full hundred feet of sheer drop over the placid Everfree river, winding its way along the green forest floor so far below. Centuries of intermittent flooding had undermined the cliff face, collapsing the edge of the earthen wall in an inexorable progression of erosion hundreds of times over the years. Still, the narrow dirt path on top of the bluff was fairly safe, unless there was some sort of disturbance to break loose the soil in yet another avalanche. Anything would do. An earthquake. A storm.
The shattering noise of a teleport spell sent shockwaves through the surrounding vegetation, air, and incidentally, ground. Monster never even broke stride when several hundred pounds of earth fell beneath her hooves, then she galloped around the sharp curve the path took at the top of the cliff, only to vanish with another deafening explosion of sound once she had made the corner and could see far enough down the path. Several hundred more pounds of soil vanished along with the unicorn, leaving behind only an echo when the air smashed together into the sudden vacuum.
Deep inside the cliff face, a line of pebbles shifted slightly.
Silence held sway over the Everfree Forest in a very small and limited area, a silence slowly overridden by a very persistent whining noise, as if a large hummingbird were attempting to lift an anvil, or a very small pegasus were pulling a wagon containing three other little ponies at an extremely unsafe rate of speed. In a matter of moments, the pegasus propelled contraption came into view, accelerating to a higher velocity when the driver spotted the pile of fresh earth as a very tempting-looking—
“RAMP!” shouted Scootaloo with glee, leaning into her wingbeats with abandon and uttering a completely superfluous, “Hang on!”
Featherweight barely had time to stuff his camera away and fly down to grab the back end of the wagon before the whole thing smashed into the rising wall of earth, rocketing all five of the little ponies up into the air.
“Turn!” squealed Twist, hanging on with all four hooves as the pathway far beneath them made an abrupt turn to the left, and they did not.
Scootaloo was a very strong young pegasus with unfortunately very little of the natural pegasus talent for reducing their own weight or the weight of things they were carrying. Featherweight, on the other hoof, had limited wing strength, but was extremely talented at reducing the weight of things he carried. It was his special talent, after all.
With a sharp lurch, the scooter and wagon leaned to the left as it soared through the air. Both pegasi flapped and pushed for all they were worth until all six wheels once again made contact with the dirt path with a mighty crash, sending tremors through the unstable earth of the riverbank. With a buzzing roar of pegasus wings, the wagon and scooter passengers rapidly resumed their pursuit, five little ponies rocketing down the dark path to save their friend.
Leaving the forest quiet. Briefly.
“…(untranslatable) nymphs and their (untranslatable) contraptions running through the (untranslatable) forest in the (untranslatable) middle of the (untranslatable) night need to be (untranslatable) (untranslatable) (untranslatable)…”
Tallgrass cursed viciously as he galloped along in pursuit of the little ponies, still wearing his Royal Guard disguise despite the froth of perspiration building up on his coat. The alternative was his natural form, which was not suited for long runs through the humid forest due to a lack of natural cooling. Yet another earthen dirt pile loomed up ahead in his path, and some inner instinct made him rise up into the air on feathery wings, slowing his pursuit to make the sharp corner above the crumbling cliff before landing to resume his headlong gallop.
Behind him, the earth shifted impatiently.
Before the normal noises of the Everfree returned again, the thunder of galloping hooves echoed around the cliff as seven ponies hurled themselves down the well-used path. One after another, they jumped over the heap of earth that marked the remainder of Monster’s teleportation spell (and Scootaloo’s ramp), except for the last pink ‘alicorn,’ who skidded to a halt in front of it and opened her mouth to cry out a warning.
Deep inside the cliff, a final bit of earth released its friction-driven hold once the vibrations of their passage shook loose a tiny pebble.
With a deep rumble that drowned out whatever Zecora was shouting, the earth slid in the direction of the far below river, cascading four ponies in a tumble down the sharp slope. A unicorn and earth pony vanished over the edge, followed almost immediately by the two pegasi in headlong dives regardless of the horrible noise of shifting dirt and rock.
Still skidding down the slope were an earth pony and a screaming unicorn, both of whom came to an abrupt stop at the very edge of the crumbling cliff. The Great and Powerful Trixie found herself dangling free above the fatal drop in an escape artist feat for which she was very much unprepared.
Above them both, and after a quick glance to make sure Applejack was safe, Zecora gave intense study to the hoofprints of Trixie’s ‘guard’ and how they stopped a few yards away from where the cliff broke free.
“Interesting move for one so meek, that you would fly when the ground is weak.”
* * *
“Honesty!” blurted out Trixie right into Applejack’s face as the farmer fought to keep her hind hooves dug into the unstable ground and her forehooves gripped on Trixie. The sudden shout caused both of them to slide fractionally towards the precipitous drop, and Applejack gritted her teeth in concentration as well as aggravation.
“What in tarnation—”
“I stole your grandmother’s false teeth for the Puppet spell,” gasped Trixie, her eyes closed in anticipation of the long drop off the cliff and the short stop at the bottom. “And I was trying to seduce your brother because Princess Celestia ordered me to make friends when I went to Ponyville and all I could think of was having him as a well not really a friend but more as a handsome lover and that worked out so dammed well every year—”
“Shut up!” bellowed Applejack, feeling the loose gravel under her chest slide slightly.
“—and I wouldn’t blame you a bit if you just dropped me right now right over the edge and let me go splat all over the ground because I let your sister go off into the Everfree Forest with her idiot friends where she’s probably going to be eaten by a big scary bear—”
“Hey!” whispered Fluttershy, hovering behind Trixie’s left shoulder with a scowl across her normally kind face at the insult to her furry friend.
“— or a manticore or a turtle or a lion because I’ve been such a beast to the little brats and all they want is their stupid butt marks but they keep doing crazy things to me—”
“And everypony else,” said Rainbow Dash, hovering at her other shoulder while Trixie gasped for breath.
“Are you braggin’ or apollogizin’?” shouted Applejack, having finally gotten her hind hooves solidly planted.
“It’s pronounced apologizing, you inbred half-wit hayseed!!”
Applejack crouched frozen with her hooves gripping the Great and Powerful Trixie, who in turn remained dangling over the cliff face between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.
“Ah. AJ? You want us to fly her down to the bottom of the cliff?” Rainbow Dash glanced back and forth between her angry friend and the pretty-awesome-but-not-quite-friend-if-only-she-would-be-less-annoying Trixie.
“Ah’m thinkin!”
Um. Trix? Coulda picked a better time for that. Just sayin'.
Trixie has a very strange way of apologizing.
Let go Applejack. Just let go, and scare the rambling magician half to death.
2504226 Apology, confession, begging for mercy. Same diff
Applejack's reaction at the end is the absolute best.
Just.
The complete and total BEST.
...
I wonder if we're working towards having two separate sets of elements? That's be interesting... (Also, if Twilight ends up being healed(as has been heavily implied) but NOT reduced back to the age she was when wounded, I will be deeply, deeply dissapointed. Also, based on Shining's reaction alone, the sparkles will be moving to Ponyville the moment they learn that their daughter is ok. because that's where she feels safe, so where else would they be?(Also, velvet is going to hug Zecora and never ever ever let go))
Well that was an apology... I think... sort of. You know that's probably the best you're gonna get, so just take what you can, AJ.
Nice
So...what? Is Trixie trying to embody the elements of harmony? Cause that's Twi's gig!
this story's lost it's direction. enough with the fine print; let's get things rolling.
also, where the FUCK did Zecora go?
Trixie better learn when to shut "her bitch mouth", cause she is cruisin for a bruisin. Must shorter chapter this time; I take it you are starting to lose focus or direction?
Whatever happened to Rarity in this chapter? She just straight up disappeared.
I like that special talent for Featherweight, nice idea.
2504296 That's been my theory for a little while now.
Seeing Trixie interact with the mane six minus one is interesting enough, but I'm really starting to miss development for monster, here
Oh lord timing! is EVERYTHING!
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I love this chapter. Trixie's thoughts on what she learned from her uncle, her musings on celestia's actions even her struggles with her addiction to alcohol! It's really painting a wonderful picture of the kind of mess she is and why she turned out the way she did. braggart or not, love of the limelight or loathing of it. We really see how being told how special she is, yet knowing she was a second choice, a last resort and being in Celestia's shadow and seemingly nothing but her pawn has really made a mess out of her.
Just as in the Show we see how Twilight's perfectionism, her love of learning, her fear of failure, and even her insecurities about living up to her position made her the pony that she for both good and for ill. I can't help but think that Being Celestia's student and knowing how important that position is didn't put a LOT of pressure on her. Making her seem the nervous wreck she is. That possible OCPD , and those self esteem issues came from somewhere after all.
anyway back to the fic. I got to say I really enjoyed how you set up the avalanche, land slide or whatever the term for it is. We see how twilight's on the fly teleporting, natural erosion, the frantic chase the CMC, Tallgrass, and even the other group of ponies all contributed to it. The build was wonderfully suspenseful.
Add to the brilliance of Trixie finding the word she was looking for, and then proceeding to be brutally, bluntly honest at the worst possible time! Brilliant! Add in the reactions of AJ Dash and Fluttershy and that was some excellent comedy. Especially the last lines at the end! I love that little back and forth between Dash and applejack!
more importantly I can't wait to see the fresh new spins you'll put on the rest of the cannon trials. that is assuming you keep the rest of them I don't see the manticore Stopping monster and while it could hold up the CMCs and requiring her to give Tallgrass a hand in defending them I'm not sure if that's an issue. The trees also seem to be unlikely as well and by the look of it only Trixie's group will be held up by the river and well, Zecora had to get in and out of the castle somehow to save Twilight in the first place. Throw in Nightmare being oddly absent this chapter and I'm really looking forward to what you do next!
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... So yeah. I liked this chapter and found it funny. Hard to tell isn't it?
Umm...I hate to say it but I agree with 2504863 and 2504715. Furthermore, you're starting to make the mistake of having the story lose it's original direction in favor of trying different genres. That's what kills stories before their time; it's like taking a children's story and turning into a Sci-fi horror without warning, that's BAD.
2504296
Their daughter? You do realize that Night Light and Twilight Velvet are dead, right?
I see what you did there.
2504715 I forget how, but the Cadence that is with the mane six is Zecora in disguise. I'm still not totally sure why or how on that one though. Anyone care to shed some light on that?
2504978 Night Light and Velvet are not dead. Second chapter, it states:
Good chapter and can't wait for more.
2504236 And it is definitely in-character for this version of Trixie, so kudos on making me laugh till I busted my gut during this little confession of her's.
2504296 That is somethign I hope to see, Twilight reunited with her parents and Zecora meeting them. It would be beautiful.
But please.... this is beginning to sound like a side story.., To be honest sorry
Wait...
Is this story really that hard to follow?
So many comments that suggest people are having trouble keeping track of things.
2505324
I didn't think so.
Nice chapter. I really liked the chapter, especially Trixies explanation! I would like to see more of Twilight in the future though. She comes a bit short after the whole 'exploding the Changelings' shebang...and I want to see Twilights 'sudden' change of speech impediment to perfect speech adressed by the group of fillies she is friends with.
I also want to see more interaction between Nightmare Moon with other ponies - Twilight escaped her and is back, better than ever! And Trixie was...well, as awesome as a pony can be in such a situation! Now imagine BOTH of them meeting 'Miss Nightmare' together...
2505084
Um...they were - as in the canon - turned into potted plants along with the teachers. And then the sun nearly crashed on the building. Anypony that wasn't turned into a plant and inside the room (or looking in it) would be Spike who was recently born, Twilight who lost her mind and Trixie who spied on the whole thing.
Celestia only appeared afterwards and 'saw' just the plants. And while she noticed soemthing odd about them, the whole situation with Twilight was more important at that time.
So only Trixie, a little filly who wanted to be better than Twilight and was scared to death by Twi's magic acts in the process of it, had seen what happened to Twilights parents. Only Trixie who probably hated Twilight with every fiber of her entire being at that day. Do you really think she would mention two PLANTS who might have been ponies at some time when she is fighting for her life together with little Spike?
So to sum that all up - Twilights parents are dead without that fact being mentioned. Sad but it shows how crazy protective Shining gets around 'Monster' even when hunting her.
2504894
Nah...it's good. Such comments show enthusiasm about a story better than 'good story, keep up' or 'I love it, MORE!'.
Applejack give Trixie to Rainbow Dash.
2505315
it sounds like an epilogue to me.
2504978
Oh shit, seriously? Man, must have missed that.
As long as Applejack doesn't say, "Long live the King" I think Trixie's ok.
Oh, Trixie. Even when she's trying to make amends, she's still her own worst enemy.
Also, I can't help but imagine that, without the translation, Tallgrass's rant is just a bunch of hissing and chittering disturbing enough to keep away anything with a taste for pony.
Also also, Scootaloo and Featherweight are best pegasus team. Individually, iffy at best. Together, a pair of competent fliers... on average. Harmony in a nutshell.
Looking forward to more.
2505084
Tell Mitsubishi he replied to the wrong comment.
Tallgrass was searching for Trixie, and happened upon them. Twi panicked and turned Zecora into foalsitter Cadence, then hid under a blanket.
2505571 lol, like the explanation, though I think you we're talking to someone else there buddy
2506300
Huh, it seems that I was more distracted than I originally thought when writing this.
I meant, 2504978 offhand question about the parents being dead. And since I wanted to reply to your comment too I made some little mistakes I guess.
Sorry for the inconvenience of being answered...I guess?
It's always struck me as curious, the dichotomy that is Trixie. She feels so alone and desperately wants friends, but is so jaded from years of being just a stepping stone others used to get something else that she's afraid to let anyone get close to her for fear of being used.
Monsieur Bourbon is the only one who really understands her.
UPDATE
2506441
For some reason her notion of friends seemed to involve trying to get into bed with Applejack's brother. Either that or she was really loopy on bourbon at that point.
And in this chapter, Trixie continues to be Trixie
Oh, I almost forgot. That confession from Trixie just now,...
...I hope for her sake that Twilight wasn't close enough to overhear that part by chance.
2505208 Then why was it stated that they did about a chapter or two back, or was it the case that Trixie thought they were dead?
2505789
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/379/479/301.jpg
trixie is NOT very good at the whole friendship business, twilight wasn't very good at it either at first, but that was because of inexperience rather than personality...
Mine Turtle......eats ponies......it all makes sense now.
< well trix, here's my little secret.........I killed Mufasa!!!
2508216 To thine own self be true.
2509441 Well, a turtle did kill Zoro's father....
2508844 M6Twilight, yes. Trixie has a "Everything you can do, I can do better" mania that in the main cartoon is a driving force for her to be a solo performer, and in this fic is the cause of a great deal of agony as she will *never* be better than Celestia. With that kind of stress, and an attitude that makes her believe *everypony* is just out to get something from her, she has never experienced friendship. Until now. Kindof.
2508699 I re-read the whole thing, and I can't find anywhere I said the parents were dead. Just for clarification, Twilight Sparkle and Trixie's parents are alive, in Canterlot and on a world tour respectively.
2506873 Every mare in Ponyville has had those kinds of thoughts towards Big Mac, with the possible exception of Applejack. Or maybe her too.
2506260 Correction: Disguised Zecora as Cadence, not Transformed. She's not that powerful. Yet.
2505884 Tallgrass has never been in the Everfree before, and doesn't realize that making noise cursing like that is a little like ringing a dinner bell...
2505789 But her friends are at the bottom of the cliff. She might hit one.
2504792 Due to the size of the crowd (Nightmare, Luna, 5 little ponies, Monster, Tallgrass, 6 big ponies, and Zecora make 16 total), certain characters can't get lines in each chapter or it will go on *Forever!* Focus points are NMM/Luna, Trixie, Twilight (recently she's been mindlessly running, so not much dialogue, that will change) and Zecora with Scootaloo, Tallgrass and Applejack taking 'Point' for their groups. (which is still 8)
2505571 Never assume Celestia has forgotten the small details. See below, quote from Chapter 1:
Celestia lashed back in surprise, truncating the tendrils before they could drain the teachers dry, and teleporting them all to the safely reinforced waiting room below, even the transformed cacti.
and later
There was nothing left to do here. The rubble was silent as a tomb, with the only sounds being Twilight’s parents sobbing along with the Lulamoon’s.
2509756
Well, I just pointed out a scenario without looking back if it fits at all. But I take back my theory about that when the author himself (or herself? would sound strange though with that name) denies it. Doubly so if it is written in the story itself.
Tensions are rising... the stars are aligning....
Im hungry what the hell is there to eat
DAMMIT WAY TO RUIN THE MOMENT!!!!
Its a gift :P
The plot is Thickening, the plot is Thickening!
2526621 TO THE POINT OF PUDDING!
The civilizations of the galaxy call it... MASS EFFECT.
The verb has been doubled.
for the sake of us all drop her(but let and shy get to her in time just don't tell her that)
And so Trixie makes negative growth. Great. My hopes were shattered in one chapter. Also, I was REALLY confused throughout this entire chapter. You tried to combine so much stuff at once. Don't do that. One moment, we are with Trixie, and the next, it is Twilight. That's all good and well. But then, things just go downhill. Literally and figuratively.
Onward to the next chapter!
it's quite often hard to understand what exactly is going on in the story. Maybe a few moments where you stop the story and explain the situation could help with that.
2505315 Just to let you know, Letters From a Little Princess Monster has almost reached that point.
Waait, wait. She's not just an occasional binge drinker, but an actual alcoholic? Ow.
...yeah. That was decidedly not the kind of 'friend' Celestia meant
(it were the Elements of Harmony you were supposed to use with them; not the Crystal Heart )
She reeeeally needs to improve that spell, lol
I don't think there was actually anything to translate, there. Don't the changelings speak the same language, anyway?
This is only actually going to collapse after everyone but Trixie passed it, right?
Or not
Ahh. That unique charm of a Trixie apology
2509756
Ironically, Cadence could probably transform into Zecora without any problems now, though
3457841
Since when is "the" a verb?
5171651
The Crystal Heart would probably work too, if it weren't a hundred miles away and frozen in time right now.
Just replace "Untranslatable" with "Censored" and it makes a lot more sense.