• Member Since 28th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 24th, 2015

kittygirl12345678


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King Sombra, after witnessing the fall of Twilight Sparkle, manipulated her emotions to make her his apprentice. Over the years, Twilight's knowledge of dark magic excelled at an astounding rate. But with such power has a toll on the body. Her hair and tone colors lost their hue, her eyes began to glow of dark magic, her horn glowed red when using magic. The power of shadows was so great within her, she could match her power with the Elements of Harmony. No longer was she Twilight Sparkle. Instead, she was the Herald of Shadows...

Chapters (0)
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Comments ( 15 )

i like it , not the best story i read but it alright, good luck:pinkiehappy:

It will get better, don't worry! :twilightsmile:

there has to be longer chapters or ill go into the story with a Barrett 50 cal and blow twilights brains out:pinkiecrazy:

I'm making them as long as I want.... -_- And if you kill Twi, I kill you!:flutterrage: :pinkiecrazy: :twilightangry2:

I love the idea and plot but longer chapters and more character development for it to get anywhere!:pinkiehappy:

1918987 It's still in progress, and I'm still a beginner. Please don't judge it harshly! :applecry: :fluttershysad:

It's a great story, I'll fav. :pinkiehappy:
I don't want to be rude, but I have to agree with everyone that the chapters should be a bit longer, like 1000 words a chapter.
But the plot is great, don't worry. :twilightsmile:

Tamazarashi I really need to work on in some more! :twilightblush: I am so like Twi right now! I'm trying to do too many things! I'm in progress of writing a couple fanfics, AND busy with other stuff too :/

cliffhangers:twilightangry2: almost as bad as Dinkleburg...

I like the story so far but it could use some work.

First you are really leaving big gaps in time. This can be a good righting strategy in some cases but hear it just feels jumpy and rushed. Also why has Twi given in to darkness so easily? There has to be some struggle or even if she is all for going evil Twi is not an idiot. She would most definitely question this new teacher? She wouldn't follow blindly. Also the girls gave up on her really fast and I know it might have been longer than it seemed but that would be a good thing to point out to your readers. ( it has been x amount of days, weeks, months ect. ) I know you might be going for a reveal on what we missed maybe as flash backs or something of the sort if so please ignore my rambling.

I hope this doesn't come off as mean because really I just want to help out.:twilightsheepish: I will watch excitedly for more!!!:pinkiehappy:

2205111 ya, I do need to work on it. I've just been busy, and haven't been working on it. I also have about 10 other fanfics I'm planning on writing. :twilightblush:

Comment posted by Jacob Fairclough 2020 deleted Feb 20th, 2014

Okay, taking down what I've written for a while. This story needs some major editing like what I've been doing for alicorns, and that project alone is taking all my focus. Sorry! :facehoof:

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