6. Let Me Be Stormy
Twilight propped open the book on a stand. “So, why don’t we start with what went wr—I mean, why don’t you tell me how you did it last time?”
“Oh, that’s easy! I was upstairs making paper things with scissors, and then I started to get hungry. So I realized I live in a bakery! Best decision I ever made! So I hopped downstairs and I realized that these books told you how to bake stuff! I grabbed one and I was looking at all the amazing stuff in it, and I couldn’t pick just one, so I decided to make all of them!”
“Well, that explains a few things,” Twilight muttered to herself.
“It sure does! So after I chose my four favorite things, I just followed the instructions. The book was really specific and helpful and detailed and it was pretty easy.”
“Uhm, okay…why don’t we follow just one this time?”
Pinkie shrugged. “Sure, why not?”
Twilight flipped through a few pages. “Alright, here. Chocolate chip cookies. Easy.” Twilight propped the book near Pinkie. “Show me how you would make these.”
Pinkie bounced over to the book and began reading the recipe. Twilight saw her mouthing the words as her eyes traveled down the instructions.
“You actually read the recipe?” Twilight asked skeptically.
“Shh, I’m not done.”
Twilight frowned. As Pinkie continued reading, her hoof started tapping slowly against the floor.
After a rather long wait, Pinkie snapped away from the cookbook and skipped over to the pantry and cupboards. She wrestled a measuring cup, bowl, whisks and other utensils from the latter, and bags of flour, chips, and other ingredients from the former. She balanced them on her back and head as she brought them back to the table, and dropped them with a dramatic flourish.
Twilight glanced sideways. Pinkie Pie would only ever do one trip, as well. Helped get to the good part faster, she had claimed.
Pinkie grabbed a large measuring cup in her teeth, and then scooped some flour from the bag. She got a fair bit on her nose and hair in the process. She held the cup over the bag, pushed the excess flour off with her hoof, then dumped it into a large bowl. She repeated this a second time, and a third, and Twilight heard her stamp her hoof to count each one. She took a fourth scoop, and delicately shook out some flour until the cup was exactly half full. She put it on the counter and squatted down to make sure she had gotten it just right.
“You know, it doesn’t need to be perfectly precise,” Twilight muttered.
“Well, the book said three-and-a-half cups.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Twilight, shush. I’m trying to measure this.”
Twilight glared at Pinkie but didn’t say anything else. Pinkie finally nodded at the cup, then dumped the last of the flour into the bowl.
She set up another, smaller bowl near the first one, and grabbed an egg from the pile of ingredients. She tapped it against the table, but when she tried to crack it open over the bowl using her hooves and mouth a large chunk of the shell landed in the bowl, and a fair bit of egg landed on the table.
“Uhm, oops. Lemme start over.”
“It doesn’t need to be exact, Pinkie,” Twilight said. Her voice had gotten a little louder.
Pinkie didn’t catch the increased volume. “The book didn’t say ‘half an egg,’ Twilight. Haha, who would use half an egg in a recipe?”
Rarity pressed her face up against the glass. She hadn’t been sure what to expect, and Twilight and Pinkie baking together was certainly not expected.
She walked through the door, and the creaking of wood and the tingling bell were covered up by a sudden shout from Twilight.
“No…no, no, NO! This is all wrong!”
Pinkie recoiled at Twilight’s tone. “How can I be doing it wrong?” Pinkie nervously poked a hoof at the cookbook. “I followed the recipe, and I measured everything, and—”
“That’s the problem! You’re not supposed to measure things, and follow recipes, and be careful! That’s not how the real—”
Rarity coughed, just loudly enough.
Twilight froze. She already knew who it was: she knew that cough very well. “That’s not how the real, uhm, bakers do it,” she stammered.
Pinkie poked her head around Twilight. She gasped, waved excitedly, and hopped over to Rarity, in that order. “Hi, Rarity!”
“Hello, Pinkie.”
“Did you come over to help me and Twilight with our baking lessons?”
“No. I actually came over to talk to Twilight. Alone, if that’s alright.”
“Ooooh, do you have a secret? Is about me?”
“Uhm, no. It’s about…”
“One of our friends,” Twilight blurted.
“Ooh, which one?” Pinkie asked.
“Uhm…P…R…Fluttershy,” Twilight said.
“Oh, well, you can tell me! Maybe I can help. You know I’d never blab anypony’s secrets. I’d never do anything to hurt my friends, I promise!”
“What kind of promise?” Twilight asked.
“There’s more than one type of promise?”
Twilight glared at Pinkie, but Rarity quickly stepped between them.
“Anyway, as I was saying, Twilight… I need to talk to you about, er, Fluttershy.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Pinkie smiled and started back towards the kitchen counter, but stopped when Rarity started talking.
“Isn’t there? This,” Rarity waved a hoof at the kitchen, but quickly retracted it, “I mean, that little stunt you pulled is an incredibly shallow attempt to alleviate your guilt!”
“It’ll work,” Twilight mumbled.
“What’ll work?” Pinkie asked.
Rarity snorted derisively. “Would you listen to yourself, Twilight? Even ignoring your teaching methods, it’s just a desperate band-aid, and you know it!”
“So what!?” Twilight finally bothered to look at Rarity. “I got so restless, so sick of wallowing in guilt. Anything had to be better than that!”
“Trying to bring her back will only make it worse,” Rarity said softly. “It’ll just keep reminding you of it, and the wound will never heal.”
Pinkie tilted her head. “Bring who back?”
“Her existence reminds me of it. And I can’t get rid of her, so this is the next best thing. And I know everypony else feels the same way. You said so yourself.”
“Twilight…”
“You just don’t get it, Rarity. I…” Twilight started to whisper. “I killed her.” She glanced at Pinkie. “….Pet…rabbit. Every time I close my eyes I see it happen again, and every time I see,” another glance, “Fluttershy, I see it again. This is the only way it’ll stop. It has to work.”
“It’s not the only way, Twilight. Let me help you.” Rarity reached out to comfort her friend, but Twilight shrunk away.
“No, no this will work. It has to. Magic won’t work on them, so this is all I’ve got. I just, I just need to talk to somepony… To Fluttershy.” An idea dawned on Twilight. “Yes, of course, Fluttershy.” Twilight trotted off, grabbing her saddlebag as she went.
“Twilight, wait!” Rarity called after her.
But Twilight had already slammed the door.
Pinkie turned to Rarity. “Wow, Twilight is really upset about that pet rabbit!” Pinkie scratched her head. “Sounds to me like it was an accident. Shouldn’t it be easy to forgive herself?”
“Well, Twilight places very high standards on herself, Pinkie. She doesn’t think of it as an accident.”
“Will she ever get over it?”
“I hope so.”
“Can I do anything to help?”
“She just needs to talk about it with somepony. Perhaps she really did go see Fluttershy.”
Pinkie smiled. “Oh, well then I’m sure it’ll all work out! If Fluttershy is the problem then talking to her is the best thing she can do, right? You can’t just avoid ponies you have a problem with.”
“Er, yes, I suppose so.” Rarity adjusted her bags and started towards the door. “Sorry to interrupt your day, Pinkie. I’m afraid I must be off; I have something important to do.”
“Ooh, hold on a sec’!” Pinkie dashed to the kitchen and back again, and handed Rarity one of her chimeric cupcakes. “One for the road. I made them myself!”
Rarity reluctantly grabbed it, and appraised it for a long moment. Pinkie leaned forward expectantly. Rarity delicately, slowly, carefully placed it into her mouth. Pinkie continued to stare at her. She waited a long time before beginning to chew. After what seemed like eons, the lump finally started to break apart, and Rarity swallowed it, her eye twitching noticeably as she did so.
She coughed loudly. “Uhm, chewy.”
Pinkie grinned. “I knew you’d like it! Have fun on your errands!” She bounced exuberantly into the kitchen.
Well, it isn’t nearly as bad as Sweetie’s cooking, Rarity thought to herself as she left. The comparison wasn't terribly comforting.
Twilight may just go off the deep end and kill the imposter. Hey, not like she didn't kill all the others.
2253218 sadly, yes, I think at some point Twilight will try to eliminate her.
Why do I get the feeling that Pinkie's days are numbered? I feel Twilights pain and I thought about this during the episode as she didn't even hesitate to zap every pinkie that moved. I kept thinking that if that was the real Pinkie, Twilight would never forgiver herself. And now I think she plans to do the unthinkable to this one. Man this is one very awsome Dark fic.
This is, I must say, one of my absolute fanfic ideas ever. And there's so much about the balance between grief and coping and drama that you juggle just right.
But at the same time, it feels like a missed opportunity, too. The clone is not Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie is dead and most of the town accepts that... and at that point, the logistics come into play. What about a funeral? What about the rest of the Pie family? What about, for that matter, Twilight having gotten off from unintentional murder without any consequences?
Once those questions are brought up, it just seems like everyone is taking it all too... calmly, lending an air of otherworldliness to it. This is a premise that drags up a lot of questions that you don't seem interested in answering. I think you could do even better with it if you wanted to put forth the effort.
Still, though, a thumbs up from me, even if I have to put on mental blinkers to keep from aggravating myself. :)
2253501
That was intentional--they don't want to accept Pinkie Pie being gone, but they can't accept Pinkie either. All that denial pushing in opposite directions sort of evens out to directionless anger rather than proactive grief.
Or something
Oh hey, my comment was made canon to the fic.
I feel uniquely validated.
Lovely story, although the short chapters leave me so unfulfilled. Its too delicious to only nibble on - I need a full plate of this delicious story!
2254049
Many many commenters will have that feeling by the time this fic is over
Many others will not
So is the original Pinkie trapped in the mirror world or just gone for good? I mean, I'm surprised Twilight is not studying the mirror to figure it inside out.
Wait, so Twilight actually killed the other Pinkies? Wow, talk about discrimination...
Above all, I hope Pinkie learns what she's doing. Why doesn't Twilight just cast a memory spell on Pinkie? Then she'd remember everything the others knew of the old Pinkie.
Did that make sense?
2257030
Can a memory spell give you memories that are not your own? Despite being a clone that is not actually Pinkie Pie. She is a pony that is genetically identical and very similar in nature but not the same pony. The actual episode demonstrates this idea several times by showing how different Pinkie is from her clones.
Even if shown all the same memories that does not mean that she would become just like the original Pinkie Pie. In fact his chapter is showing it right now where this Pinkie is slightly different in her way she goes about cooking.
2254820
My guess would be trapped; I got the impression that there's another side to the mirror. Didn't the Not-Quite-Pinkie hum a song that was (in her words) "from the other side of the pond?"
I'm not sure who's in the right camp; Twilight or her friends. I mean, realistically, the original Pinkie Pie they all knew is dead (maybe), and nothing can replace her, even if this Pinkie clone personifies what they considered to be Pinkie's "perfect" traits. So now we're stuck with an imposter trying to live a life that isn't hers, and Twilight is constantly at the BSOD'ing right there and zapping Clonepie.
Also, is it me, or do her friends lean more towards, "What's done is done, might as well move one" camp? Because that doesn't sit right with me.
In short, thanks for causing my brain jambles, Author.
2258075
I'm pretty sure that nobody is in the right camp at the moment. Pretending that nothing happened will only make the wound fester, and blaming the new Pinkie isn't fair to someone who is essentially innocent. They need to stop for a while and think about it and come up with a new camp.
2258716 its friendship, don't have to explain shit
This is such a great story! I have been wondering when someone would make a story like this. Great job!
2259807
2251802
"But there's a catch. If I can't figure out which one's the real Pinkie, I might send her back by mistake!" - Twilight Sparkle, Too Many Pinkie Pies
2257595
I understand that. I'm just saying if Twilight gave Pinkie all the memories Twilight had of her, that could give new Pinkie and example of ole Pinkie.
i.e. her Pinkie Sense, etc.
2263681
Our perceptions of others rarely match up with the truth of them.
You don't need magic to make that mistake.
Man I really really want to reply to every single comment; I count a story as a success when it provokes discussion, and everyone is picking up on things that even I missed.
But I must restrain myself, because spoilers...
2265663
Fun fact; the very first incarnation of this story had the clone as unsure whether she was a clone or not, and the parallels to amnesia were much, much more blatant.
Mebbe I'll post that little snippet when the story is over, or in the gdoc or somefin.
I can't help to feel that the town is being too callous towards Pinkie Pie. Sure, I can understand the feeling of loss, but that Pinkie is still a pony. Also, how come everyone knows about that not being Pinkie Pie? I am not sure the Mane 6 would go ahead spreading the news that Twilight murdered the real Pinkie Pie.
Anyway, I am liking it so far, specially how you handle the transition between Pinkie's sunshine & rainbows vision, and the utter depression of the rest of the characters. Can't wait to see where you take this, but there are a lot of great stuff to take from this premise and, so far, you seem capable of delivering it.
2273378
See 2250448' comment about Uncanny Valley, and the related comments by 2247022 and 2250737
As for the rest of the town knowing, they were harassing Twilight after the Pinkie whirlwind, and the town was empty when they herded them all into town hall; I assumed that she told them her plan and they cleared out. Once the plan failed they would've put two and two together fast enough, since Pinkie Pie knew literally everypony.
Ow, my existentialism. Right along with my feels.
I'm so worried as to the direction of the story, but I need to see this resolved.
2250448
I disagree completely with the animated corpse thing.
Yes, Twilight killed Real!Pinkie, but it's not remotely the clones fault, and being dicks to a pony with no idea what's going on will never bring pinkie back. There's a place for mourning, but Twilight planning to kill Clone!Pinkie for winning a contest? If she's so damn distraught over killing another ponies, she should be more focused on the fact that she's repeating her goddamn mistake, but this time she knows what the fuck she's doing
Again, Clone!Pinkie did nothing, she did not make the spell and plan to murder all the pinkie clones, Twilight did. Twilight made a terrible decision and Clone!Pinkie had nothing to do with it, nor did she take any pride in killing Real!Pinkie, she simply was happy she won. On the using Twilight as a weapon, I need to stress that Twilight chose to destroy all the pinkies, and Clone!Pinkie did not. She is not using Pinkies skin, she is pinkie, or at least, she wasn't taking pinkies skin and wearing it, she was made that way. And it's pretty clear that the clone doesn't seem to be arguing anything, she thinks she is the real pinkie now, and she's not asking anypony to agree, she's just ignoring all contrary evidence.
So really, they aren't being asked to be friends with a reanimated corpse, their being asked to be kind to a pony oblivious to the situation she's in, who needs help understanding what's going on. Mourning is the proper thing to do, not KILL THE INNOCENT PONY WHO JUST ACCIDENTALLY GOT PINKIE KILLED.
2273488
My issue with the town knowing about Pinkie's situation is more because of its abruptness. Sure, they would certainly discover it on their own, but that seems to be their first interaction with the Pinkie Clone after Twilight got rid of the rest, and they seem to have arrived at the conclusion before Pinkie said anything. That is why I thought that they had been told, instead of finding out on their own.
It is not a big issue, since it doesn't seen to be essential to the story, but it sticks out, and could be fixed with some minor scene establishing it, such as some gossipy pony assuming that was the real Pinkie and being shocked after finding out the truth, or something like that.
I have to say, I have fallen in love with this story. My only observation or critique, if you will allow it, is that the best parts of the story are the ones that focus upon (new) Pinkie and deal mostly with her thoughts and perceptions about the world, her bubbly personality makes all the sadness and bittersweet moments all the more poignant because we sometimes have to infer and discover. It is so much more heart rending to have Pinkie trying to cheer some other ponies up and failing to understand the real reason they are sad.
Well done, and I eagerly look forward to more.
2263835
Do what I do: obfuscate, mislead, and misdirect. Respond often, never say anything.
Or just go with the classic *pokerface* and move on.
2278384
I considered mentioning the mayor sending out a memo or something, but I felt it might draw too much attention from other things. I think it's best left to the reader why the town picked it up so quickly--did one of the ponies blab it? Was the town officially informed of the outcome of the test? Is the rumor mill simply that effective? Is Ponyville a small enough town that news spreads quickly? Is Pinkie's behavior so incongruous that there was no hiding it? Something else? Who knows.
2278482
Thank you
Funnily enough, my editor(s) find the most compelling part to be when Pinkie and the others interact, while the readers seem to show some preference for Pinkie's undiluted perspective. If only I preferred watching the Pinkie-less interactions between the main cast, then there would be a lovely trifecta of opinions.
2278494
Assuming I did Death of the Author any justice at all, the story will obfuscate and encourage far better than I ever could.
2278675
The undiluted options is preferable in my opinion because it is both unique and hightens the emotional impact of what we are seeing. Having Pinkie Pie telling someone that she is the new Pinkie and then being slightly confused by their sad/angry/shocked reactions has all the more impact when we as the reader aren't told specifically why the other pony is sad - we have to connect the dots ourselves. While that isn't a challenge, nor is it supposed to be, it is a perfect way of showing versus telling.
In a way, one could compare it to a novel approaching something serious from the point of view of a child. For instance, if you are reading something about a child thinking about how "mommy is in heaven" and wondering why everyone is so sad, and then a line later talking about how happy they will be when "mommy comes back from her trip" - it's not just the emotions of the loss, it's also the impact of them not fully grasping the tragedy. It's their continued ignorance while the audience is fully aware that really digs itself deeper.
Anyway, those are just my random thoughts on the subject. I'm a big fan of the "happy but ignorant" Pinkie who wants to do what is right and have fun, but faintly wonders why her parties never seem to make everyone as happy as she expected.
Oh, let me be stormy, let me be calm, let the tide in and set me free!
I'm not really getting the connection with Quadrophenia yet, but the chapter titles are a fun little touch.
Way to rip out my heart and stomp it to fucking pieces.
This is a neat idea and I love Twi's over-the-top reactions to the problem. Looking forward to more.
pretty good so far. Nice pacing, characters reactions seem accurate. The only thing is Twi. Her reaction seems a bit over the top. Now I know she would react similarly to this if it had happened, but no other events happen to show her to have this kind of capacity for anger.
2332764
Twilight yells at Spike in S3E1 over an imagined test, she gets angry over very minor things in S1E1 and S1E15, and she selfishly disregards the CMC's well-being in S2E3.
Twilight projecting her anger at herself onto Pinkie, and the scale of that anger, are admittedly extrapolation on my part, but it didn't seem that far off at the time. Grief can do strange things.
2338146
but there is a pretty major difference. Those examples aren't her projecting her anger onto them but she is directing it towards them because they aren't taking her fears more seriously, not because they exist.
th07.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/204/4/6/crazy_twilight_is_crazy_by_nadazstrider-d589zuw.png
Yeah, Twilight's next letter to Celestia is going to be interesting, to say the least... On a more serious note, are you planning to deal with legal aspect of the situation? Even with Equestria's usually lax law enforcement, there's bound to be some criminal responsibility for murder.
2378695
There's no body, the only witnesses are Twilight's close friends, and the defendant is a personal friend of the country's highest legal authority. No one would bother to prosecute her and no jury would be able to prove her guilty.
Knowing Twilight, avoiding punishment is only making her that much more agitated.
2381368 Ah... I don't know which is worse. That Twilight committed this monstrous act, or that she'll probably get away with it.
Anyway, loving this story. I found that ending rife with massively bad implications and just the cast being handed an idiot ball the size of Alaska. The test they used was so... stupid it boggles the mind.
I do hope the legal and moral implications are explored, though. And that some justice is brought down on Twilight's head for this, no matter how high her position is.
2277262 That's the way the ponies see it. They, like all living sentient creatures (except me for some reason ) think mostly with their emotions, obscuring facts and distorting the truth. That might be one of the resons why I dislike the company of other sentient lifeforms .
"I killed her!... Pet rabbit."
The most gutwrenching possible line... immediately doing a 180 into the most hilarious one.
If Pinkie is following the baking instructions to the letter, wouldn't her baked goods be perfect? Or is the recipe just that bad?
4635142 Well, this chapter and chapter 2 both show that Pinkie's fine motor control is not that great. Plus some recipes use specialist language (mince, dice, scallop, etc.) that would be easy for an inexperienced person to misinterpret.
4635337
That makes sense.
Twilight attempts to alleviate guilt from murdering her friend by making the clone into something she's not.
I've been extremely reserved in the past few stories I've read. Just for a change of pace, I'm going to go into my stronger critique mode for this chapter.
Wait, Twilight said that? Are you sure she's not the imposter?
So how long does it normally take to do these things in that order? A full minute?
Hold up. Exactly how much time has passed? I was under the impression that this was the very next day, not a few days or even a week later.
When did Fluttershy enter this conversation?
I know you mention that Twilight took 'special precautions' to keep the Pinkies from being brought back via magic – which in and of itself seems like over-engineering the solution – but why hasn't she asked Celestia and/or Luna or even Cadance for some help? Is she so self-assured that she believes nothing and nopony can undo her work no matter what? And for that matter, why wouldn't she go to Celestia for advice in the first place? Seems like this is the kind of thing you'd want to talk to your mentor about. Although I could buy that she's scared to confess what she did, I would think she'd get over it for even the scant possibility of bringing the real Pinkie back.
I also can't help but wonder why Twilight hasn't at least considered examining the Mirror Pool itself. There's already been hints that there's more to it than just a clone factory.
...clone factory.
...Rainbow Factory.
Huh. I might have just had an idea.
In G3 Sweetie was the good cook.
5310126
In G4 Sweetie managed to burn juice.