• Published 18th Feb 2013
  • 9,869 Views, 586 Comments

I Am Not the Actor - cleverpun

After one of Pinkie's clones wins the paint-watching test, she slowly finds that "being yourself" is never as simple as it sounds. Especially when everypony has a different idea about who you are, and who you should be.

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3. If I Speak Without Emotion

3. If I Speak Without Emotion

“I’m back,” Dash announced. As she walked in, she noticed the painted wall from the test was still sitting on the stage.

“And?” Rarity asked.

“I dropped her off at Sugarcube Corner. She seemed like she could take care of herself, so I didn’t stay.”

“I suppose that’s best for now… Thank goodness the Cakes are still on vacation.”

“How’s Twilight?” Dash asked.


“Well, duh. I knew that.”

“Yes, but you know Twilight. Applejack has been attempting to comfort her ever since you left, but it isn’t doing much good.”

Dash glanced around. “Fluttershy come back yet?”

Rarity shook her head. “None of us have seen her since she ran off.”

“And, uhm, what about you?”

“I’ve been better, dear.”

Rainbow floated over and sat on the bench next to Rarity. She reached over to put a hoof on the unicorn’s shoulder, but was interrupted by a door being flung open. Twilight stormed out of it, Applejack a few steps behind her.

“Twilight, come back!” Applejack shouted.

“Just because you keep saying it doesn’t make it true, Applejack.” Twilight’s eyes were still puffy, but she managed to trot towards the exit in a mostly-straight line.

“It’s not your fault!”

Twilight spun back to face Applejack.

“You heard that clone! I was the judge! I was the one deciding who stayed and who didn’t! I was the one who cast the ‘back-from-where-you-came’ spells. I was the one who made doubly sure the subjects couldn’t be retrieved with magic. So stop lying to me!” Twilight spun around again and ran out the door.

“I wasn’t lyin’,” Applejack muttered.

“Oh? Then whose fault do you think it was?” Rainbow asked skeptically.

“It wasn’t anypony’s fault, Rainbow Dash. You should know that.”

“Well, it’s like Twilight said earlier, you know? Blaming that fake Pinkie would be a lot easier…”

Rarity and AJ exchanged a glance.

“Rainbow…” Rarity put a hoof on Dash’s shoulder. “Grief doesn’t work that way.”

Rainbow’s wings drooped slightly. “I know that…”

Rarity pulled Dash into a proper hug.

“There’s no need to hold it in,” Rarity said softly.

Dash didn’t return the hug. “I’m not holding anything in.”

“Not even a little?” Rarity asked.

“You don’t gotta pretend with us, sugarcube.”

Rainbow squirmed out of Rarity’s grip. “It’s not that. I love Pinkie Pie. A lot. It’s just…”

Rarity leaned in. “‘Just’ what?”

Rainbow looked away, rubbed her shoulder, unsure how to put it. “It just…it doesn’t feel like she’s gone.”

Twilight kept running in no direction in particular. Nopony was awake this time of night. The city was practically empty as she ran, aimlessly going through street after street. Streetlights and moonlight were her only companions. She didn’t expect to crash into somepony, let alone Fluttershy.

“Oh, uhm, sorry.” Fluttershy instinctively swept her hair in front of her face. She hastily wiped her eyes, not that it had much effect. She pushed the bag she had been carrying behind her back.

Twilight sniffed. “Fluttershy!? What are you doing here? Were you coming to help us decide what to do with the fake Pinkie?”

“Oh, uhm, well, sort of. I guess…”

“We didn’t decide anything. We just cried a lot and finally stuck her in Sugarcube Corner until tomorrow.” Twilight suddenly buried herself in Fluttershy’s coat, both of them collapsing onto the street. “Oh, Fluttershy, I can’t believe I was so stupid. This whole mess is all my fault…!” Twilight felt some of her tears and mucous smear onto Fluttershy's coat. She made a mental note to apologize for it later.

Fluttershy gently stroked Twilight’s mane. “There, there, Twilight. It’ll all be…okay.”

Twilight missed the uneven enunciation. “How can you say that!? One of our friends is gone forever because of me!” When she turned to look at Fluttershy’s face, Twilight saw something out of the corner of her eye.

Twilight sat upright. “Fluttershy, what’s in that bag?”

“Oh, uhm, it’s just a housewarming gift…”

“For who?”


“What!? Are you actually suggesting we let that fake stay here!?”

“Well, you said nopony decided what to do with her, and you haven’t, uhm, gotten rid of her…yet…”

“Well, yes, but…” Twilight was reminded of her outburst at town hall. Magic would’ve been faster. “I don’t think…”

“Trust me, Twilight, I thought about it a lot.” Fluttershy picked up the bag, and Twilight finally noticed her eyes were more than a little puffy. “She may not be the real Pinkie Pie, but she’s still a pony. And she’s a lot better than having no Pinkie at all…”

Twilight wanted to state the obvious, but she couldn’t quite get her mouth to form the words.

Fluttershy grabbed the bag and began to walk off. “Since she’s asleep I’ll give her…I mean, Pinkie, this tomorrow. Good night, Twilight.”

Fluttershy left, but Twilight sat in the middle of the road for some time.