Oh another story :3

Yum.

I'm a real huge fan of your work Anon and i love it when I get new stories from ya....But I'm not at all into clop and get all sad when they get uploaded Going to have to pass on this one.

P.S Is there any chance of seeing Kuno in another story? Or is she done with?

Assertive Twilight is best pony

1724758

If you go back a few blogs, there was one discussing Kuno and Warden. The gist of it was that there might be a potential one shot in the future concerning Kuno's year away from Warden, but unless AP gets a massive idea, they are done at this point.

And I'll admit I'm not an erotic reader typically, but being curious with it coming from a favorite author I thumb through it anyways. If one can somehow 'thumb' through an internet story. lol

dis gon b good

Mmm, tasty. A bit jarring with the c-word used twice in what would otherwise use a more suave adjective for that bit of anatomy-- now if Twi-clone was being aggressive at those moments, it would work better.

...and wrapped a hoof around her neck.He tone turned...

"neck. Her tone"

Whoops.

Well, that was a pleasant departure from the usual order of things, and I like the explanation for the otherwise OOC-Twi. Although I have to wonder if Celestia's current inability to identify the clone could become a plot point in the future?

1724920 YESSSS

A thousand times yes!

dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png

Good story, I do wonder just how much Twilight understood about her mentor that the clone seems to know that Celestia wanted to be dominated.

1725057 You know, I don't usually do this. But...

u mad bro?

1725096 But this is what interests me. Clop.

I'm intending for moar chapters, with some drama, wistfulness, shipping. Etc etc. Oh, and tons delicious pony sex, too.

Givn this IS Twilight, she probably knew it in some unconcious part of her mind, but acting upon that knowledge was impossible normally. But, a Twilight clone under orders to please the Princess? Welll.....

1725120 I know. Respect for that, though. tis a very mature thing of you to do. I know most people around here have a knee-jerk downvote instinct for anything they isn't perfect to them. I seem to avoid a lot of them though.

1725127

No kidding. You have no idea how hard it is for someone who writes in present tense to get featured on here.

Before I even begin...

Also, perhaps one of the other commentators here can explain what the big deal is about a clop fic being uploaded and even featured on this site is. We already know that anything clop has already passed muster with knighty, Wanderer D, or one of the other administrators, so it can only be so bad. Why complain about the clop at all? As that enormously silly and entertaining WoW vid tells us, "The internet is for porn"

Commence read.

best part of this: It is not over yet!
After all, if I read the rhyme correctly, Twilight knows exactly what happened!

lots of Gak!

So the way I see, this is all a single minded Twilight taking her job as seriously as she has been told. With the job being to please Princess Celestia in every way possible by any means necessary. Taking that to heart Clone-Twi dedicates her mind and body to such cause, and what better way to do that than to 'please' the princess in that manner?

But I feel that it was a rather drawn out clop-fic. Some of them are a little too rushed, others just drawn out. It's the right length, don't get me wrong. But more specifically it went into quite the bit of detail to explain how much Princess Celestia really wanted it. She was basically horny and desperately awaiting Twilight's touch. And when Clone-Twi gives her that touch, she just loses a vast majority of control. In my personal opinion, though an enjoyable clop, it seemed a little too... whoreish (wow, looked that up while I was writing this. Can't believe it's an actual word). Not that it was as if she was desperate for sex. She just wanted her little Twi and now that she had it, she was more than willing to accept it in the near future. And in not so subtle ways will it be initiated either. It'll all be lust filled intentions for each other.

But the concept that it's strictly between just the two of them somewhat fixes the fact that it's lust that drives them.

I'm not the best person to review clop, but I gladly give what I feel is a proper review for it anyway.

All in all, it wasn't that bad of a read when you actually just skim over it after reading it the first time. I read the whole thing, then I skimmed over the main concepts the second time and it was rather interesting after that. I noticed not too many errors grammatically but to the trained eye there a few mistakes. Nothing major. Just something you may want to look into.

that millenia.

"that 'millennia'", though I suppose different text engines have different corrections. But in the dictionary, this is the word you wanted.

was which. of course, she

"was which. 'Of course'. she", small capitalization error, nothing too important.

be operatedwithout unicorn

when I amactually without

"be 'operated without' unicorn", needed to be separated.
"when I 'am actually' without", same.

the discoloured fur

return the favour

"the discolored fur" to the reader's who are savvy with English, this would seem the more appropriate way to spell that.
"return the 'favor'", same.

The Twilclone grinned

Given the situation with the story being about whom it is about, there are three available ways to fix that. Either with "Twiclone" or "Twi-clone" or "Twi-Clone". I leave that to you my friend.

neck.He tone

couldn’tsee it

"neck.' Her' tone", needed to be separated and the proper word of sex acknowledgment.
"'couldn't see' it", just needed to be separated.

several long moment

"several long 'moments'", plural.

some semblence of

"some semblance of", spelling.

Now minus all of that just mention, there are a couple of choice words that could be played with in the story, but other than that, I really could not find anything else wrong in the story. It was well written, not exactly straight to point when it comes to scratching a few details, but it was still going one direction instead of shifting randomly. All in all, I think that it could be done better in the next chapter.

There will be another chapter, no? I certainly hope the incomplete tag was not a mistake.

1725407 There will be more. Ohhhh so much more.

Also, I'm Austalian. We use the u. When people correct my 'Favour' to 'Favor' I tell them to kindly fuck off.

Same as colour. Honour. Various other words.

See here.

1725429

Which is exactly why I said English savvy. Though I suppose I should rephrase that to English Savvy Grammar Nazi's. American's think they are the better when it comes to certain things, but I refuse to support that ideology.

Personally, I like using the 'u' in those words. Makes it seem more... I don't know. Powerful is one way to put it, I suppose.

Anyway, I merely pointed out what would have been errors that were either intent or accident. I only wanted you to take it all for what it is and either play with it or leave it be. You are the author of this story, not me. Goodness knows I couldn't write something that stays going in one direction for too long.

1725460 Oh this is gonna get crazy soon

Especially when the clone Twilight summons up other clones specifically to seduce Princess Luna.

1725477 Now that's a story

You know, I might not even try anymore.

Hmmm, One more story from the feature box to keep me company tommorow.
(Sees Anonymous peagsus)
THAT ONE
(Will read tommorow)

665th view? sounds suspicious.

But we all know that the devil's number is 404, not 666

Not extreme enough for my tastes. But it was rather heartwarming all the same.

Wow kinky, I think this will be good.

whos the real princess in the story

I like 'dis.

I have read the first chapter and LOL'd. I like it, and wish I had that clever picture meme with Thor.

1725429 Is that like Australian? Because I looked at my atlas and haven't been able to find Austalia anywhere.

Sorry, totally couldn't resist when the topic of discussion was correct spelling. Anyway, Yanks don't use 'u' because we're lazy and 'z' instead of 's' in certain words because it's totally easier to write straight lines.

Always cool to run across an Aussie, tho.

1725057
Indeed, "Twilestia clopfic" is one of the criteria for "Instant feature box", sadly.

1724924 Plot point, huh? Hrm. Can't tell the difference. Real Twilight switches in, or Celestia doesn't realize it isn't a clone and does something inappropriate... This could get sexy. Scratch that, it already is. This could get MORE sexy.

Also, something you said about the shared memories. Is that only when the clone comes out of the pool, or is there a link that shares memories afterwards? Is there some kind of memory feedback when the clones are sent back, like with the Kage Bunshin from Naruto? Or are the answers to those questions spoilers?

1725477 YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

1724924
Actually, I wonder if Celestia's inability to identify the clone might not already be a plot point... what if Twi left the clone at home, and went to Canterlot herself to seduce the Princess?

1726316

Actually, there are some interesting historical aspects in there. It wasn't so much laziness as a matter of efficiency; following the Revolution, Franklin was one of the proponents for distancing America from England by reworking some of the linguistic rules. Among them, stripping out all those extraneous letters. It took a *lot* of talking before he decided that we shouldn't be asking wether or not gosts have tongs in ther mouths, and he settled for mostly wiping out u's like they were the plague.

Into her own reflection she stared
Yearning for one whose reflection she shared
And solemnly sweared not to be scared
At the prospect of being doubly mared
Because the one with which she was paired
Was the one whose memories she shared!

Doubly Mared.
Doubly There.

I saw the plot description and thought, "Sounds like something Anonymous Pegasus would write." Then I checked who wrote it.

It was okay. The pacing, IMO, was one of a single-chapter story, not a longer one like you have planned. Celestia was reasonably, albeit not completely, in-character. I would have liked to know why she so readily accepted Twilight's advances; she's far too old and composed to give in after a little teasing. You also said this was an "unintended" consequence.

I couldn't help but notice something I personally have trouble with: figuring out what to call pony vag without completely shattering the immersion. You use "cunt" and "sex" quite a lot. I may keep reading as you do seem to have some interesting things planned.

I'd also like to say 1725103 rang true with me. I write clop because I find it interesting. There are lots of cool things you can do with it.

dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png Bow To Your Queen!!!
Your not a Queen, Egghead!
If we had a queen....It would be the......worst.....possible.....thing!!!
I donno girls..... I don't think she a lying...:
hello girls!
Princess!!!!
you need to stop Twi!
She not her self!
ya need to remind her your in charge here!
hmmmmm......... no can do.......
what? why?!
How come?!
And why can't you do anything?
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png it's because........she is My Queen.....

1728080 Sooooooooo many cool things.

Like up and coming NMM/Luna later on

And this was a clop fic mmmmuuuuhh uhh hhhun lkg sdnfnvuidfjhshrlehfe hfkug yabba sif

1727309 I know; I was being silly even if my "you're an Aussie, that's awesome" sentiment was sincere.

1728089 ...do it and I will make an alter for you beside my Jim Butcher alter. And I will offer burnt offerings to it; just don't ask what they were before they were set on fire.

1728701 Not to mention Twilight secretly taking the place of a clone. Twilight x Twilight x Celestia sex. Clone orgies. Applejack x Applejack sex...

1725057 Cry more.