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Scootaloo has had a hard life,but what happens when she finds the pony she wants to be with for the rest of her life?

I upload in small segments for a reason, because I love short and to the point.

Don't like it, don't read it.

First Published
10th Jan 2012
Last Modified
10th Jan 2012
#1 · 271w, 5d ago · · ·

the start of this makes me wonder where the dark tag is, I've read quite a few "scootabuse" stories but this one takes the cherry in dark :facehoof:

still, it's a well written story

though i found one little error:  

Laughing at the thought of that, I layed down on the grass of the forest.

it should be "lay" instead of layed

#2 · 271w, 5d ago · · ·

Should definitely at least be teen rating and not everyone.

#3 · 271w, 5d ago · · ·

:raritydespair: It's said for everyone, I though it was gonna be Scootalove!

All said, your writing style is rather... repetative... you use the same descriptors a lot and everything is stated rather plainly. It could use some polishing. Plus, it could use a little more... plot, but that will probably be in chapters to come.

Add tags. A dark tag if Scootaloo is repeatedly getting beaten, and 'Fucker' does not go in a story 'for everyone'

#4 · 271w, 5d ago · · ·

... I can't read this, sorry. I took one look at AdoraScoot and the sad tag, and I just can't... I just wanted to take the time to wish you good luck though! The description made it look like it might have been like... Friendshipping or something, but I see I am wrong... Still, have a great day! Don't give up writing just because some of us don't like sad. Everypony has preferences, so... XD Anyhoof, later, and good luck! /]

~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria

#5 · 271w, 4d ago · · ·

Manly tears where shed. :raritycry: <-- almost as manly as those. I'm gonna track this, seems like it would be worth it

#6 · 271w, 4d ago · · ·

I really want to see what will happen, keep writing this. Just don't make it too sad, and, as someone else said, adjust tags and rating.

Anyway, the writing is mostly good, just remember to read your chapter slowly before publishing it, as there are several mistakes in it. Most of all, you wrote three times "of" instead of "have". (for example: "I must of looked very goofy," should be "I must have looked very goofy")

#7 · 271w, 4d ago · · ·

Sorry about wrong tags guys...

I uploaded this rather late, so I missed some stuff.

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