Dying and (Wall) Breaking
It was still pitch black outside, and the Scout’s new house was filled with the sound of loud snoring. But then the blackness was broken ever so slightly by the sun rising. In the gentle blueish glow of the early morning, the Scout began to stir. Sleep-walking, he leaves the bed and goes downstairs, heading for the kitchen. Only when his sleeping form grab for a nonexistent energy drink does he snap awake.
“Oh... right.. food..” he mumbles to himself. Now partially awake, he begins taking in the early morning. Normally, at about this time, he would go out for some running around the base (or “parkour”, as the Spy called it. French bastard...). The exercise kept him limber, and gave him a slight sense of peace, being able to run without worry of a Russian man crushing his skull should he stop.
With this in mind, the Scout goes to the front door, ready to begin his morning run. To wake himself up fully, he takes out his pocket pistol and shoots himself in the foot. After yelping from the pain, he takes a bite out of one of the sandviches. Fully healed and awake, he leaves the confines of his house and starts running. He had no idea where he was going, other than it was away from that apple farm.
There wasn’t a single other creature on the path, which suited the Scout just fine. After all, Twilight said something about the ponies freaking out if they saw him. Or something. He was more or less tuning her out at the time. Regardless, if all the ponies here were as annoying as the ones he had met so far, then he’d like to avoid any further contact with them, if he could help it.
As his run went on, the Scout couldn’t help but notice that he seemed to be getting farther and farther into the forest, and the path was nearly nonexistent now. Still, he paid it no mind; even after that encounter with a manticore, he still considered himself tougher than these woods. Plus, he had guns now. Guns helped. A lot.
As he was casually jogging along, he stopped momentarily and started jogging in place to read his pulse. “Not even winded...” he said to no one in particular. Despite the now risen sun, and the fact that any normal forest would’ve been far more active during the day, all was silent, save for the Scout’s shoes hitting the grass.
Suddenly, a roar shook through the trees. Crying out in fear much louder than he wanted to (which was crying out in fear at all), the Scout whirled around to see a manticore behind him. Judging by the rather large bruise on its head, it was the same one he encountered before.
“Oh, so ya want some more, huh?” the Scout taunted, pulling out his trusty scattergun. “Alright, then. Bring it, ya mutant moron.”
The manticore roared, and used its tail to swipe the shotgun out of the human’s hands, sending it spiraling into the bushes.
“Uhh... okay.” The Scout pulled out his pistol. “I can still take ya!”
The manticore roared again, and the human fired off a few rounds in response. They seemed to bounce right off its hide.
“... crap.”
Almost instantly, the manticore pounced the Scout.
“OH GOD THAT IS STILL VERY PAINFUL!”
The manticore tore at the Scout again.
“WHY! WHY DO I KEEP COMIN’ HERE! NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS WHEN I COME HERE!”
And then he died.
Back at the base, the Scout respawned, angry. He went to look for the teleporter so he could go back, but on the way, he happened across a few cans of his favorite drink: Bonk! brand atomic punch (Now with isotopes!). Grabbing as many as he possibly could, he discarded his pistol and put them in his bag, along with the sandviches which somehow stayed with him through death. With that dealt with, he started looking for the teleporter back again. It wasn’t hard to find, as it was the only source of noise in the quiet building, being a whirring machine of molecular transportation. Stepping onto it, he was once again whisked away to the (rather deadly) world of ponies.
Appearing back in the cave, the Scout passed by the resupply locker, just in case, and climbed out of the makeshift cover he made for the hole. Adjusting his hat, he ran back to his house, entering through the back door. By now, the sun was fairly high in the sky. Ponies would probably be getting up soon, if they weren’t already. The Scout was prepared to simply sit back and relax for at least a few hours, but was instead greeted by a whirl of pink.
“Hiya!”
“HOLY-” Reflexively, the Scout brought out his Sandman and assumed a batter’s stance. Once he saw that it was just another pony, though, he put it away. “What do you want, pinky?”
The pink pony gasped loudly. “You know my name!”
“...I do?”
The pony looked confused, before giggling to herself. “Oh, sorry, you said pinky with a ‘Y’, I’m Pinkie with an ‘I E’!”
The Scout was confused, before realization hit him like a ton of bricks. “So, Pinkie, why are ya here?”
“Because you’re somepo- I mean, someone new in town, and I wanted to throw you-”
“A party, yeah, yeah,” the Scout finished, “you ain’t the only one who can read the script, Pinkie.”
Pinkie looked surprised, before she narrowed her eyes at the human. Then, as suddenly as it came, the hostility was gone. “Okie dokie lokie! We’ll get along just fine, I know it!” Humming something to herself, the pink pony hopped out the front door. While the Scout was, once again, confused, he remembered something.
“I thought I locked that door!”
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I have the image of he intel breifcasses containing the scripts for the teams next big adventure.
Mate, it's Pinkie. She's better than Spy at infiltration.
Duh; Pinkie rocket-jumped in through one of the windows.
This is gonna be good.
Pinkie is all 9 classes at once. You better be scared, Scout.
1768367
I always thought Pinkie was the hidden Tenth Class. But i guess your's makes more sense...
1768367
Wrong.
She is the tenth class.
1768992 Because when Valve designed tf2 five years ago, they said, "Hey! Lets make the hidden tenth class a small horse from a show that doesn't exist right now! Screw copyrights and space-time!"
1769209 EXACTLY.
Alright, the 4th wall breaking was funny the first couple of times. Quit it now, please. It's getting annoying.
1769209 Your avatar fits that statement well.
1769209 All of my yes.
1769679 All of my no.
So does Pinkie know that scout dies on a regular basis?
1768124 I like that idea. But what neither team knows is that the scripts in each briefcase hold the exact same scripts.
1769209 TF2 was only released five years ago. It was originally slated for release in 1998, but seeing as this is Valve we're talking about, well, don't trust anything anyone says about when something will happen.
1769998 All you have left now is maybe.
1770081 I've got some maybe left, yeah, but I also have possibly, probably not, and FUCKING NEVER
bleh
1769679 i agree. because there's only so much supper glue and duck tape can do to keep the 4th wall standing.
1768992
Damn. Mind blown. Well, let's say she is ALL TEN CLASSES AT ONCE! MUAHAHAHA! ROBOTS, TREMBLE IN FEAR BEFORE THE GREAT PINKIE PIE!
1770308 You also have Yes and No available in many languages.
1772170 Hm, true. Like no in Spanish :D
Don't get me wrong, I really love this story, but what all actually happened in this chapter? It seemed kinda pointless.
Still excited for next chapter though :3
I once meet the actor who voiced Scout in MvM. It. was. AWESOME!
He said all the lines in his own voice. And he doesn't normally talk like that. It's crazy.
1770417
I tihnk I'll run to the Warcraft Universe and hide out in the ruins of Dalaran.
W've been trying to knock holes in it for decades. I doubt it's going to fall now.
Though if it does I'm getting out of here before The Flood show up.
Hey guys, this guy is trying to completely demolish the fourth wall.
You know what I noticed?
In Team Fortress 2 crossovers, with the exception of one, whenever a team sides with the ponies, it's the BLU team. When only one (or two or three) enters Equestria, it's a RED one. Why is that? 
*Gives scout a soda poper* I know I miss spelled poper
1775095
Mostly cause the reds appeared in meet the classes and everyone says
"The reds take all the glory, lets give the blues the spotlight"
But yeah thats mostly the reason
-Kiryu
1775223
Then why didn't you edit it?
1777433 idk
Scout calls the Spy a "French bastard" because he calls Scout's morning jog "Parkour!?" Scout... You have gravely angered me. Because I for one, like parkour.
1777267
Oh. that makes a lot of sense.
All of your thoughts about how pinkie entered the house are wrong, she simply walked across the panels, she went around the fourth wall in other terms.
Fourth wall hasn't got room for anymore cement.
Well, we actually ran out of cement, to be honest.
Haha! the fourth wall breaking has been doubled!
1803344
we need to manufacture the interdimensional rubber FAST
The fourth wall has officially shattered.
6927406
Wait there's a FOURTH wall? I thought there were only 3 after the first couple chapters xD