Past Ties (And Other Lies)
After confirming that the door was indeed locked, the Scout sat down on the couch and tried to take a short nap. Purple-Smart didn’t want him to go into town, and the forest had proven to be nothing but a place full of bad things, so he figured that he could lay down and take a nap for a long while.
“Scout? Are you there?”
Alas, it was not to be.
“What is it, Doc?”
“Vell, I heard you come through not too long ago. Did you die again?”
“...yes.”
“Gah, dummkopf, why do I even trust you idiots... Anyvay, did you establish contact with ze ponies?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Wunderbar. If you do everything right, zey will start to trust you, and you can get one or two of them to bring you back, and I vill have my subjects!”
“Actually, the Engi built a two-way teleporter over ‘ere. Couldn’t I just send ‘em through there?”
“Sadly, nein. Ze teleporters are hard-coded to our DNA. To add anything to the line-up of the nine of us, we would have to bring them here, and if they’re here already, what’s ze point?”
“... Right. So, is Spy up to tell me what to do, yet?”
“I think he is still asleep. And besides, you’ve already made first contact. Just... vell, I would say ‘act natural’, but given how you can act, that is not ze best choice.”
“Screw you, too.”
“I vill remember zat when someone asks for healing.” With that, the Medic hung up, leaving the Scout to, once again, try to get in a quick nap.
Only for someone to knock on the door. At first, he ignored it, but they just kept knocking, and knocking, and-
“ALRIGHT, I’M COMIN’, JEEZ!”
Jumping off the couch, he opens the door to see Twilight standing there, accompanied by some other green unicorn who had a large smile on her face. It was rather unsettling.
“...is there somethin’ I can help ya with?” he asked.
“Yes, actually,” Twilight answered. “My friend here, Lyra, has always wanted to meet a real human, and... Well, here we are.” She chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of her head. Lyra’s smile never moved, and if one was watching closely, they could also say that she didn’t blink once.
“Well, eh, hi, Lyra.” The unicorn didn’t say anything, or alter her expression. “Look, are ya gonna stand there all day, or-”
The Scout was cut off by Lyra inhaling loudly, before belting out a series of rapid fire questions in one breath:
“Whatisitlikebeinghuman?Howdoyoubalanceonyourhindlegslikethat?What’syourfavoriteuseforyourhands? CanIborrowthemforawhile?Isittruethathumanshavenomagic?Whatkindofjobdidyouhave?Dohumanshavecutiemarks?Wheredoyouall-”
Lyra was cut off by a purple hoof covering her mouth. “Calm down, Lyra! He’s new here, he’s probably confused!”
Meanwhile, the Scout was just finishing thinking of answers to the questions. “Alright; somethin’ in the ears, I dunno; beatin’ heads in; no; I’ve seen some used, but only once; the best merc this side of comic books; and no.”
Both of the unicorns paused for a while, processing all the things the Scout had said. Twilight was the first to recover. “Wait, ‘merc’? As in mercenary?”
“Yeah, mah first real job out of high school. Course, I left school when I was sixteen, because they apparently owed some money t’ th’ mafia, or somethin’.”
“So wait... You’re not properly educated?”
“I’m smart enough to work with guns, I don’t need no fancy education. Besides, I think respawnin’ so much might be making me smarter. Somehow.”
Both of the ponies gave the human confused looks. In the ear-piece, the Spy made himself known.
“Ix-nay the espawn-ray.”
“...What?” Twilight asked.
“Oh, uh, nothin’, I mean- Hey, you like humans, do ya Lyra?” The change of topic didn’t go unnoticed by Twilight, but she decided to let it go for now.
“Yeah!” Lyra said, excitedly. “And now I get to meet the first one in Equestria!” She let out a small squee of happiness.
“Well, not the first human...” Twilight said, still remembering the incident a couple weeks ago.
“Huh?”
“Oh, right, nearly forgot about that. That was this French dude I work with, kind of a complete jerk. He was here for like, what, three months? Oh, and he said he fooled some pony into thinkin’ he was some ‘spirit of the humans’ or somethin’.” The Scout chuckled to himself. “Ain’t that rich?”
As he looked at the two ponies, he noticed that neither of them were laughing. Twilight seemed annoyed and somewhat angry, while Lyra... was starting to tear up?
“You do realize that Lyra was ze one I fooled, correct?”
The news made Scout speechless, for the first time in a long, long while.
“Th- that was... a trick?” Lyra asked, her eyes now brimming with tears.
“Uh...Well... You see...” Subtly, the Scout started taking out one of the cans of energy drinks he had. He then pointed behind the ponies. “Oh my god, what the hell is that?!”
When both of them whirled around to see what would warrant such a reaction, the human quickly broke the tab on the can before gulping down a mouthful. Almost instantly, the drink took effect. Time seemed to slow down, yet the Scout could still move at normal speeds. As Twilight seemed to slowly turn around, the Scout ran past her. He ran for about eight seconds, and then time started to appear normal to him again, as the drink’s effect wore off.
Back at the house, all Twilight had seen was a red and black blur go by. When she looked back, the Scout was gone.
“What- But- Where did he go?” she stammered out.
“Uh, Twilight...” A still-teary Lyra pointed towards the town, where a reddish shape could be seen running.
Twilight was furious. “That little-” As the situation dawned on her, however, her rage was placed with worry. “Wait, into Ponyville? Where all the ponies can see him?! Oh, this is not good. If the ponies see him, they’ll cause a commotion, which will get the attention of Princess Celestia, who will send Scout back to where he came from, or worse! And worst of all-” Her pupils dilated. “It would be my fault! Celestia would get rid of me as her personal student, and maybe even banish me from Equestria!” Twilight was very nearly hysterical.
“Uh, Twilight, aren’t you-”
“Overreacting?! No, not at all! It’s just that some alien who has a history of violence has run into town where he’ll cause a scene that will make the princess come here and she’ll ask who was responsible and it would be me!” Now Twilight was completely hysterical. Before Lyra could say anything, Twilight disappeared with a pop and a flash of purple. Shrugging, the green unicorn started going back to her home, where she would wait for this to all blow over like it usually did.
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FIRST LOL
New chapter
have at them laaads
Scout gonna die.....Again.
Bonk slows the perception of time? Trippy...
Well, ya see Lyra, it was and wasn't a trick. Looks like the Trust-o-meter just got Pomson'ed.
At first, I saw Lyra doing her signature jump: denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw3344.gif
But then she got sad. pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw3221.png Lyra, why are you such an awesome background pony?
So ... tired. Can't ... think.
>insert comment and clever joke here<
It begins
1808193
photos.weddingbycolor-nocookie.com/p000005195-m41095-p-photo-128670/no-one-cares.jpg
Meanwhile, Saxton Hale sits at his Yeti-bone desk, writing a letter to Princess Celestia:
"Dear Celestia,
Another one of my shitforbrains mercs decided to pay your dimension a visit. I would help, but apparently Yetis don't like their children being slaughtered and made into my desk. Yeah, you'll probably find him soon enough. Hope we can catch up soon.
xoxo,
SAXTON HALE"
Better read this tomorrow, too sleepy to read
-Kiryu
Haha try and catch me now that i have my time stopping drink!!
Interdimensional Transfusion update at 2:30 in the morning?
i1268.photobucket.com/albums/jj580/charlieg1999/SPARTANS/tumblr_m9zj24S9bZ1qcakl4o1_r1_500.gif
1808316
I laughed harder than I should at that gif
peasants....ha!
Scout, ya had ta' mention Spy, didn't 'cha?
Damnit Scout, you're screwed for reals this time.
Ponyville is finally going to experiance 'Scout Chase Fury', enough to make every single pony over-isotoped and what am I doing up at 5am!?
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTz2C5rSCtOFKOQqQF6OQzYoAmOEfc9l9g0_CFsKvOGu9kB3pdJTw
i think demoman needs some 'screen time' if not then something scarier demopan.
YOU MADE LYRA SAD, GO TO HELL!
well...
if they dont find him then he went through his teleporter.
How do you work the author's notes? I don't seem to get them.
1808226
Actually a more sensual explanation would be that it speeds up his brains image (what he sees) processing speed, allowing him to see the world at a higher frame per second.
1809079
Give ME some of that!!!
Oh merciful Luna don't let Pinkie get the Bonk. DON'T LET PINKIE GET THE BONK.
But if you do, make it hilarious.
1808241 1 person, laying on the floor. (Its me by the way)
1809079 d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/6082550_460s.jpg
1808241 Wait... A bunch of ninjas care about someone who was first?
1809165>>1809452
ladygeekgirl.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/hard-to-love-and-tolerate.jpg
1809079
I think you mean sensible. If not, how is it having a science fetish?
1809467 Sorry dude, couldn't resist.
I wonder how the Engi would get along in Equestria
1809467 dont make a joke if you dont want one in return.
1809661 I have an "F" in english class, that justify my fail? Heh, yeah thats what I meant
1810933 There was a part of me that really, really wanted it to be the science fetish.
But no, that does not justify you. You are on a website devoted to writing. I would have thought you'd pick something up, I am very disappointed in you.
1810957
1812277
0 in. Portals f 0
1812274
0 or the w 0
Lyra must be distraught to find out that when she thought she was meeting a human, it was really just a human in disguise.
1812277 Took me far longer than it should have to work out what you were saying.
Lyra kinda went through that sad thing real fast, straight from happy to sad to bored. She... might have a problem guys...
Fourth Wall is recovering in Rehabilitation
6927413 come on buddy 4th wall you make it