It was quiet around the cabin. Everyone was under strict orders not to give away any clues about their location. The prisoner had been blindfolded and held in the small outbuilding behind the house. Eventually, someone from the government would come to take him away. Hopefully before then, he would talk.
Rarity attended a meeting with the other five to discuss strategy. She was surprised and dismayed to learn that there was actually a science behind interrogation.
“We don’t have time to go for isolation or sleep deprivation, and no equipment for sensory bombardment,” Bear explained. “He’s a zealot for his cause, so threats and mild torture probably won’t work, and he won’t respond to building rapport.”
“Is it worth it?” asked Rarity hesitantly.
“What he knows could help us take down Purity’s organization and save a lot of lives,” said Rob. Rarity noted that his answer wasn’t a solid yes. Trying to get information out of an unwilling man was one thing. Hurting him, even if he had tried to kill her, was quite another. But which was worse, murder or torture? Did one justify the other?
“I’d like to talk to him,” said Rarity quietly. The others looked contemplative.
“Not to doubt your abilities, but what do you expect to accomplish?” asked Veronica.
“I just want to know what he believes, and why I am his enemy,” said Rarity. “I can’t understand how someone could think like that.”
“A lot of people have killed a lot of people for fucking terrible reasons,” muttered Morgan. “Sometimes no reason at all.”
They did let Rarity visit the prisoner, however. She stood with some trepidation as his bindings were checked for security. The man looked rather average, and Rarity didn’t think there was anything about him she would have noticed if they had encountered each other on the street. Humans didn’t wear their thoughts and emotions openly. The knowledge that anyone, anywhere might be out to get her was sobering and a possible source of paranoia.
The ropes that held him to the chair were secure, and Rarity was left alone in the shed with the man. There was several seconds of silence before Rarity swallowed hard and asked the question she had been yearning to know. “Why?”
He stared at her. “Just having magical ability would be bad enough, but you’re a unicorn.”
“Terribly sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t understand.” Rarity shook her head. “You hate me for who I am?”
The man looked at her like she had said something stupid. Rarity quickly went on. “I know I’ve never seen you before. I couldn’t have done anything to you personally. In fact, I’ve only been visiting this planet for a few weeks. I certainly couldn’t have caused much trouble in so short a period. Is this about Purity?”
He gave her a level gaze. “It’s not personal, it’s principle. What unicorns did to Purity was unforgivable.”
“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about,” Rarity insisted. “I’ve never even heard her name before.”
“It would have been a long time ago.” The man looked careful now, but also slightly curious. “You’ve never heard of Purity?”
Rarity shook her head. “That’s what I said. How long ago did this occur? What happened to her?”
“Unicorns banished her. Just like you, she’s not from this planet.”
Rarity considered that. Evidently there was no spell in place to pull Purity back after a preset amount of time expired. More importantly, it seemed that Purity was from Equestria!
“Was she a pony?” asked Rarity. “Before, I mean.”
Her question caused a surprising reaction in the prisoner. It looked like his calm stubbornness had evaporated. He looked around the interior of the shed and did not answer the question. Rarity thought back to the coded message that had been recovered. It had been signed with a hoof print.
“I don’t know what her name was before,” the man admitted. “She chose her new title based on the purpose she dedicated her life to.”
“Please, I’ve never heard this story before,” begged Rarity. “I didn’t know any of this.”
The stoic silence remained. Rarity tried again. “I want to help. If there’s anything I can do to set this right…pleeeeaaassseeee.”
She put a hint of a whine in her request. It was finally enough to get what she wanted. The man leaned forward as far as his restraints would allow, staring at Rarity. “Fine. This is what happened, straight from Purity’s mouth.
“One year, in Purity’s homeland, there was an unnaturally powerful winter storm. She was forced to take shelter in a mountain cave with two others who she detested. While Purity was trying to look out for the members of her tribe, the others were stealing resources and blocking progress.
“The cave seemed like an ideal place to finally establish once and for all that Purity would not be pushed around. She was making a stand, to the death if necessary. As it turned out, that’s exactly how far she needed to go.
“Her opponent, the unicorn, had been mortally wounded, but with her last gasp she cast a spell that ripped Purity from her world and placed her here on Earth. There was no way to return, no way to protect those she had led and defended. The final insult was immortality, so Purity would have to endure the pain of loss and helplessness forever.”
If he wasn’t bound, the man might have crossed his arms in finality. “And there you have it. Magic is unnatural, and the cause of evil. Purity can’t go home, but she has taken it upon herself to purge anything supernatural from this world.”
Rarity’s mouth dropped open and she fumbled for words. The man waited patiently, seemingly pleased that his tale had flustered her. Rarity managed to ask, “What was the unicorn’s name?”
“Platinum.”
Rarity promptly turned, yanking open the shed door. She darted outside, hurrying away. This couldn’t be happening! Granted, the Hearth’s Warming Eve tale about the magic of the fires of friendship was a lot more meaningful story than this, but what if the prisoner’s version of events was the truth about what actually happened?
She took a breath, attempting to calm down. It actually might be plausible. After Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane, and Chancellor Puddinghead took each other out, then their assistants could have declared peace and combined the tribes into the modern Equestria. Over the thousands of years since, the true story was either lost of changed to be more foal-friendly. That would also explain why the note they’d found was unintelligible. Purity’s group communicated in her old language—ancient earth pony dialect!
With all this information swirling through her head, it was a given that Rarity would forget about the loose board on the back porch and end up sprawled in another mud puddle.
Why hasn’t someone fixed that? Or better yet, filled in the hole where water collects? It didn’t matter. Rarity had important news to share with the others. She got up, for once ignoring the mud all over her.
Rarity slammed open the back door, catching the others by surprise. They’d been having a meeting in the kitchen. Rarity’s appearance—crazed expression, fresh sludge on her clothing, and sense of urgency—put all eyes on her.
“I know who Purity is. A long time ago in Equestria’s history, she was the leader of one whole tribe of ponies. Her real name is Chancellor Puddinghead.”
Five pairs of eyes stared at her in confusion and perhaps some amusement.
“Are you fucking with us?” asked Morgan.
Rarity sighed. “No. An old story that everypony in Equestria knows involves the unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies quarreling. The leader of the earth ponies was Chancellor Puddinghead. I believe that she is one and the same with Purity.”
“Well, I can see why she changed her name,” observed Rob. “Not only that, but ‘Chancellor’ has negative connotations. Between Hitler and Palpatine, it’s pretty much become a bad-guy moniker.”
“Well, it looks like you’re the expert, Rarity,” said Veronica. “You know the most about what is going on here. What do we need to do now?”
“I’m not really sure,” Rarity replied. Contingency planning and strike operations were not things she was skilled at. They way everyone was looking at her, however, Rarity suddenly got the feeling that she was about to learn.
“Let me ask the question in another way,” said Bear. “How do we kill her?”
Explosives. Lots of explosives.
i16.photobucket.com/albums/b15/ultra1437/Memes/Mr-Torgue_zps6f16420c.jpg
Sorry, too much borderlands 2 lately. That was the first thing that came to mind for the question, and the image hasn't seen use until now.
Yes, because asking her how to kill her is the best way to rephrase it. Especially when she is already totally against killing.
PINKIE PIIIIIIIE!!!
th01.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/i/2012/224/e/e/chancellor_pudding_head_by_haloreplicas-d5ateal.png
I'm not entirely convinced that Platinum would have the power or the skill to blast somepony across time and space while granting them immortality. I'm going to go ahead and doubt this version of the story.
Maybe. But probably not.
How does she know for sure it wasn't Commander Hurricane? This behavior is a startling turnaround from Pinkie's portrayal of the perky president of peasant ponies. There are hints that this may not be the pegasus premier, but nothing conclusive.
Also, that reveal blew my mind. What a tweest!
Definitely thinking she's actually Stormwing, just because it fits better. Well, it fits with the "adapted" version better, anyway.
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Yeah, I was assuming Captain Hurricane, as well. "others were stealing resources and blocking progress" -- "stealing resources" should be the Earth ponies, based on the Hearth's Warming tale. With Purity exiled by Platinum and one of Purity's opponents being an Earth pony, that leaves Hurricane as Purity.
It may also explain her antagonistic behavior, as Hurricane is depicted as extremely aggressive in the play.
That. THAT.
...
That came from left field. DAMN SON! You did good!
I prefer the names Hilter and Paltapine. Sarah Stalin is pretty good too...
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Agreed. At the same time, Puddinghead(?) wouldn't know exactly what Platinum did to her either. Let's presume for a moment that Platinum in fact had the power to rip open a hole between worlds and shove a pony through it. Puddinghead(?) would know that happened. She'd also know she just doesn't die. She's probably conflated the two.
We know that earth ponies are exceptionally long-lived. (The show has pretty much implied that Granny Smith is several hundred years old). We also know that each pony race has its own type of magic. Unicorns have the obvious, pegasi flight (seriously, that's magic, there's no way they could fly with those wings otherwise) and cloud manipulation, and earth ponies have some sort of connection to the earth. We have reason to suspect that earth ponies make good farmers because of it, but what if it's also responsible for their extended lifespans?
Now, Puddinghead(?) finds herself as the only earthpony on earth, which means her inherent connection to the earth is unshared with anypony else. Maybe that lets her draw even more power and makes her effectively immortal. Of course, earth ponies don't or at least might not think of themselves as magical normally, so she has no idea that it's actually her own magic which is sustaining her. Thus she blames platinum because she presumes it's related to the spell that sent her to earth in the first place.
/end fanwank
I have a feeling that Purity is going to take Rarity further down the rabbit hole; into the deepest, darkest parts of Equestrian history.
So. Purity is older than Celestia. I wonder if she knows about the Royal Sisters' pasts.
And how many years ago was she shot here? Cause that would mean Purity appeared on Earth in the middle ages.
Huh. Interesting, though possibly inaccurate. Purity hasn't shown the sort of inside-the-chimney thinking I'd expect from Puddinghead, but maybe centuries of life spent on Earth has driven her sane. Alternately, the story could have forgotten some seventh pony who sought refuge in the cave...
They way
*The
2311238 Mistakes were made.
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It happens.