Chapter 11
They didn’t go to McDonald’s, but Rarity saw the sign as they drove by.
“Billions and billions served?” she asked, incredulous.
“At one quarter-pound serving each, that’s a lot of cows,” commented Rob from the front passenger seat.
Even if Bear hadn’t requested taking Rarity somewhere else, she was glad that they went to a different restaurant, even if it was a similar operation to McDonalds. It was called Burgerville, and was a local chain to Portland.
Rarity wasn’t sure if grinding the beef into a patty made it more or less appetizing in her mind. Luckily, it was sandwiched between two pieces of bread, so she didn’t have to think about it too much. She took her first bite and contemplated it carefully. It was not as artful or subtle as the fish she’d tried, but the taste on her tongue was pleasant. With only trace amounts of guilt, she carried on eating. The accompanying french fries weren't bad, either.
After lunch, the three of them went to buy groceries. The store was much larger than anything Rarity had ever seen before. It seemed like absolutely anything food-related could be bought there. Rob picked up on her wonder. “If you think this is impressive, we could go to Wal-Mart where they sell everything besides food.”
“Control yourself,” muttered Morgan. “We don’t need you having a fucking redneck episode today.”
“All of you keep using that word,” said Rarity. “I’m afraid I’m missing something.”
“Do you have any friends who are a little more…country than everyone else?” asked Morgan.
Of course Rarity did. “Yes.”
“Taken to the extreme, it becomes an overwhelming way of life and such people sometimes get looked down on by the rest of society.”
“Is that what happened to you?” Rarity asked Rob.
“For a while,” he admitted. “I’ve been getting better, but occasionally have a relapse.”
“You poor thing,” she said. “I’ll have to make you something stylish. That should help, correct?”
Morgan snorted with laughter and Rob gave him dirty looks. This persisted most of the way back. It was terribly distracting as Rarity tried to concentrate on driving.
Being behind the wheel was somewhat exciting but mostly terrifying. The slightest miscalculation could send the vehicle hurtling off the road at a speed that could probably liquefy the occupants.
“That’s an imaginative mental image you’ve got,” commented Rob. Rarity momentarily jerked the wheel towards the side ditch, watching in the rearview mirror as he frantically clutched for something to hang on to before realizing the SUV hadn’t left the road.
Veronica had called this type of behavior “trolling,” which was a term that was apparently invented on the internet. Rarity thought it was unbecoming, but wasn’t afraid to stoop to it.
They did arrive back at the cabin in one piece, although Rarity had decided that perhaps driving was not for her. She knew that other kinds of lessons would probably begin again soon, but was a little surprised at what exactly they wanted her to do. “I only learned how to be bipedal a few days ago. I think running might be a bit much.”
“There’s always strength training,” suggested Bear.
Rarity’s mouth twitched. “I suppose a nice jog could be nice.”
Not surprisingly, Bear and Jenny were the fastest. Morgan was surprisingly fleet, quicker even than Veronica with her long legs. Rob was apparently the one who was usually at the back, but with Rarity around he was relieved of that position.
She completed a lap around the lake, stopping to catch her breath. “Why-” pant, pant, “Why is this a useful skill?”
“Good cardiovascular health is a cornerstone of overall fitness,” explained Jenny. “It’s too bad you mortals have to work for it.”
Rarity shot her an acid look but pushed on. She was already sweating, so slowing down wouldn’t keep her any cleaner. Tripping into a mud puddle, however, was a completely different matter.
“Hasn’t this happened to you a couple of times in the past few days?” asked Veronica, helping her up.
“I hope I don’t make a habit of it,” muttered Rarity.
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Why so short? Again!
2060217 Heck, I didn't even put it through my editors this time.
Yeah, I really should go back to basics. Now that I'm finished with Core I can devote more time to this.
I think you may have wanted acidic.
I can sympathize with Rarity, I almost threw up the first few times I drove a vehicle larger than I was.
emotibot.net/pix/1637.jpeg
The way Rob keeps responding to stuff the narrator says makes me think he's due for a fourth-wall moment eventually.
(Yes, I know that's because the narrator is communicating Rarity's thoughts.)
2060431 I think you mean Rob. But what did you expect from a mindreader?
>local to portland
I gagged.
So we're just skipping over the fallout from Rarity's hilarious misunderstanding in the previous chapter?Disregard this, I failed to read the last two sentences of the aforementioned chapter, carry onyou should have them go to Voodoo doughnut if they're in portland!
Why do i get the feeling this mud puddle gag has something to do with that wet-maned rarity fad?
images.wikia.com/mlp/images/archive/e/ea/20111214163700!Rarity_wet_mane_S2E05.png
Wait, you get quarter-pound burgers at McDonalds in America?!
Not fair.
2069208 The don't call 'em 0.1134 kilogramers with cheese?
2069208
Quarter-pound burger? Please. In America, we make Three-and-a-quarter pound burgers!
Mmm, bubba!
(I'm pretty sure that 3.25lb burger somes with 1/4lb cheese, too...)
2070504 no, we get 45 and 90 grammers. Mostly the former.
God damn is the whole ground made out of mud puddles?!