Creation, Marks and Games
Creation, Marks and Games
Luna’s scream echoed down the expanse of the cave. Celestia looked up from Her work, more complex mammals, and saw Luna running towards Her, tears streaming down the filly’s face.
“Luna, what’s wrong?” She asked.
“I don’t know!” Luna cried. “I was just playing around and I was waiting for you to raise the moon and then my horn started glowing the the moon rose up and this happened!” The filly turned and showed that her flank was now adorned by an image of a crescent moon against the night sky. “I tried washing it off by it won’t go away! Am I sick? Am I gonna die?!” Celestia looked at the mark and blinked.
“I... I think it’s harmless, but... That doesn’t make any sense.” She turned away and began to pace. “When I first arrived here I had a mark on my flanks.” She flicked a wing to Her flanks, indicating the image of the sun. “And when you weren’t born with one I assumed that it was merely a quirk of Warp travel. But now that you’ve seemed to have gained one, it... I don’t even know what to say!”
“You’re not going to start poking me or anything, right?” the filly asked, her sobs now dying to sniffles.
“No, it won’t come to that. But still... Luna, I would like to sample some of your fur, and maybe if you could use some of your Warp Energy-”
“You mean magic?” The filly asked, causing Celestia to blink in confusion.
“... What?”
“Magic. That’s what I’ve always called it.”
“Luna, utilizing the Warp is not magic. Magic is just a mess of illusions and slights-of-hand; utilising the Warp is actually bending reality to your will, crafting and creating things that most mortals wouldn’t be able to comprehend as long as they lived.”
“I still call it magic. You want something to happen, and it happens even when you don’t do anything. It’s magic.” Celestia opened her mouth to respond, but a thought interrupted Her. Just humor her; she’s still young, relatively speaking, so she should grow out of it.
“Um... Well, then, if you want to call it ‘magic’ then go ahead. Now, I’ll just need some of this.” Her horn glowed and three strands of hair were yanked out of Luna’s flank, causing the younger pony to yelp in surprise.
“You said there’d be no poking!” Luna cried.
“I lied. Now, just use some of your... magic.” Luna nodded and her horn lit up, a blue aura enveloping a small rock near Celestia’s hooves. The rock floated upwards before Celestia plucked it out of the air and placed it with the fur. “Now, give me a few minutes and I’m sure I can have an answer.”
“Okay.” Luna wandered off while Celestia examined the rock and fur. She swept Her horn over the objects, searching for signs of corruption.
Hmm, that’s interesting... Luna’s actually growing stronger. She did another sweep. Perhaps I’m overreacting; Luna just seems to be going through a growth spurt... Doesn’t explain the mark, though. She turned Her attention to the fur and inspected every single piece, turning them multiple times in Her aura.
She heard a chirp and saw Philomena land on Her shoulder. “Do you have any idea what’s wrong with Luna?” she asked the phoenix. Philomena tilted her head to one side an chirped again “... Adolescence? I suppose that is a theory... I’ll have to confirm it once there are more ponies to study.” Another chirp. “This world is not yet ready for them. Give me a few years, and then there will be more ponies.” A few chirps and a squawk. “No, I am not delaying. I just want to make things... interesting.” Philomena cocked her head to one side and chirped. “There were thousands of similar creatures from my first home. People used to stare in wonder at them, and now my new followers will be able to share that wonder.” She paused and looked up.
“I think I’m getting soft.” Philomena chirped in confusion. “I’ve spent most of my new life gushing over creations. I know I took pride in the Imperium, but I never gushed about it.” Philomena chirped a few times. “No, it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but when the time comes and I must lead my followers I need to be a stern leader, not one that cares so much about her subjects that she coddles and shields them.” A chirp. “I met several during my travels; most ended up disgraced, dead or both.” another chirp. “Yes, I do need some way to keep my skills sharpened. But since sentient races to command or fight for are few and far between I don’t see that happening anytime soon.” She turned and spotted a rather angular piece of rock. An idea.
“That could work too.”
...
Luna awoke to the sound of something chipping against rock. Puzzled, she looked around and saw her sister hunched over... something, an improvised chisel and hammer ensnared in Her telekinetic aura. Luna approached, careful to not disturb her sister.
“Tia, what are you doing?” she asked once she got close enough.
“Creating a way for me to keep my tactical and strategic sense sharp.” She replied, turning a large square over to inspect it. Luna saw that a grid had been etched into one side of the board, and every other square had been blackened slightly.
“How is that suppose to help?”
“There is more to this than a simple board, Luna.” Celestia set the board aside and pulled out thirty-two small figurines. Some looked like ponies dressed in light armor, while others looked like big rocks with smaller rocks attached to the top.
“Um... What is all this?”
“It’s a game, Luna. Supposedly, it was designed to replicate an ancient battle, but then I was not in that region during the time period it was invented so I cannot be sure. It’s been called many things: chess, Regicide, and many other names.”
“Can you teach me how to play?” there was a pause before Celestia smiled.
“Sure. Come, sit in front of me and I’ll set this up.” Luna nodded and sat down while Celestia set the board down and began to arrange the pieces. Once She had finished, She picked up several of the pieces and placed them in front of Luna.
“Now, this game is a bit complicated for beginners, so pay attention.” Celestia raised the smallest of the pieces, a lightly armored pony wielding a small spear. “This is a Guardspony, your most basic unit. He may move only one square at a time in a straight line, but he may attack another piece diagonally.” Luna blinked a few times before nodding. Celestia set that piece down and pulled out one of the boxy things. “This is a Tank. It may move as far as it wants, but only in horizontal and vertical lines.”
“Why do I have eight of the first ponies but only two of these?” Luna asked.
“Because Guardsponies are expendable, tanks are not. Now,” Celestia produced a second pony, this one clad in heavy armor and armed with a large sword. “This is a Marine. Marines move two spaces and one space to either side, and they can do so in any direction. They may also jump over opposing pieces if they so desire.” She moved the piece slightly to emphasize Her point. “Next are your Chaplains; like Tanks they may move as far as they want, but only on diagonals. Then, there is the Primarch.” She lifted one of the larger figures, an impressive Pegasus in finely crafted armor with a large hammer as a weapon. “The Primarch is the strongest piece in the game; he may move as far as he wants in any direction he wants. And finally, there is this.” Celestia picked up the final piece, an alicorn armored similar to the Primarch. “This is the Emperor. Should he be taken the game will end.”
“Why does it have to be a colt?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Why can’t it be a filly? Can’t it be an Empress?” Celestia was silent for a moment.
“I... I suppose so. Anyway, the Emperor may move in any direction he... she wants, but only one square at a time. There are a few other rules, but I will teach you those once you have practiced a little.”
“Okay.” Luna pushed a few of the pieces with her hooves before looking back up at her sister. “Can I go first?”
“Well... normally white goes first. But I thought you would enjoy playing as black since-”
“I want to go first.” Luna interrupted, flaring her wings for emphasis. There was a pause before Celestia smiled again.
“Okay.” Her horn shimmered and the board rotated until the white pieces were in front of Luna. “It’s your move.” Luna looked down at her pieces, unsure of what to do. Remembering the movements that her older sister had shown her and slowly pushed one of her Guardsponies into the center of the board.
“You know you can use your telekinesis to speed things up.” Celestia said as She moved Her own piece to counter Luna’s advance.
“No. I’m not using any magic until you figure out what happened to me.” Luna pushed another Guardspony forward using her nose. Celestia advanced one of Her Marines forward, eyeing Luna for any signs of change. Another Guardspony moved forward, and Luna watched in dismay as Celestia’s Marine took the piece.
“Try using some of your back row to support your weaker units.” Celestia said as She placed the fallen Guardspony on the ground next to Her.
“I knew that.” Luna pushed a Marine out to cover her Guardsponies. Celestia moved a Chaplain forward, and with a smile Luna pushed the Marine forward and took the first of Celestia’s Guardsponies.
The smile turned to a look of despair as Celestia’s Primarch surged forward and eliminated the offending Marine, the piece joining the Guardspony on the ground.
“This isn’t fair.” the little alicorn said as she moved her own Primarch forward.
“Why?” Celestia asked, making her move.
“You’re better at this than me. You know how everything works.”
“That I do, but think for a moment. There will come a time where you will have to stand alone without my help, and are you going to say that something is ‘not fair’?”
“Yes.” This did not appear to be the answer Celestia wanted.
“Say you were commanding an army of real ponies. Now, if your enemy was pressing against you, and the lives of thousands lay on the line, would you say to your enemy that what they were doing is ‘not fair’?”
“Uh... Well, they’re hurting a bunch of nice ponies, so that’s not fair anyway.” Luna said.
“Luna,” Celestia’s face hardened slightly “Should you ever be in a situation such as that, you must remember that your enemies do not play by rules. There will be times that they will be more numerous than you, stronger than you, and more intelligent than you. You must never lose faith in your own abilities, for there lies temptation and falling to Chaos.”
“How?”
“Say somepony was smarter than you, and you got jealous. Now, a normal pony would go and study, devoting their time to texts and knowledge to learn what the others were better at. However, some would think themselves too inadequate to gain such intelligence, so they looked for other ways to become the other’s equal. They make deals, commit rituals, ask favors for intelligence. They swore allegiance to powers that they could not hope to control, all in the name of something that could be easily gained. In the end, they gain their intelligence, but their mind lies shattered and their soul forfeit to the Dark Gods."
“I’d never do anything like that!”
“I hope so.” They continued to play in silence, the number of pieces on the board slowly shrinking. For the most part, Luna did her best to defend as many of her pieces as possible from Celestia’s onslaught, no easy task considering the elder sister still had both of Her Marines left. Time wore on and they paused only for the two of them to lower the sun (just to make sure what happened to Luna earlier was not affecting the natural order of things).
Finally, Luna was left with her Empress, with one Chaplain and one Marine defending it, and two Guardsponies near the last row on Celestia’s side. Celestia’s Primarch was threatening the two Guardsponies, while Her Chaplains and last remaining Tank kept the rest of Luna’s pieces pinned down. It was Luna’s turn to move. She eyed the pieces a bit before moving her Empress toward Celestia’s Primarch.
“Risky move.” Celestia said.
“I know.” Celestia nodded and moved Her Primarch, eliminating another of Luna’s Guardsponies. Luna pushed the last Guardspony forward until it was inside Celestia’s bottom rank. “What happens now?”
“Since you managed to get your Guardspony across, you may promote him to any other piece you would like.”
“Really? I want my Marine.” there was another pause.
“... Really? Are you sure you do not want your Primarch?”
“No, I want my Marine.” Celestia shrugged and replaced the Guardspony with the Marine. The elder sister moved one of Her Chaplains forward and watched as Luna pushed her new Marine back towards the fight. In the process, she managed to fork Celestia’s Primarch and Emperor.
“Is that good?”
“I... Yes, very good.” Celestia moved Her Emperor away and watched as Her Primarch fell to Luna’s Marine. Celestia attempted to corner the Marine using Her Chaplains, but Luna managed to sneak away and pin Celestia’s Emperor with her remaining pieces.
“Does that mean I win?” Luna asked. Celestia looked at the board before smiling.
“Yes, you have beaten me. Congratulations.”
“Yay!” Luna clapped her hooves together and looked at Celestia. “Can we play again?”
“Well... Actually, I have something else for you to do.” Celestia stood. “Follow me.” Luna nodded and fell in place behind Her. The two walked until they reached Celestia’s genetics lab.
“Uh, you said I wasn’t suppose to come in here.” Luna mumbled, shuffling her hooves.
“Well, I am here to watch you.” Celestia’s horn glowed and several of the genetic manipulators warmed up. “You have a very powerful imagination, Luna, and now I want to see if you can put it to use.” Luna blinked in surprise.
“You mean... you want me to make something?” she asked.
“Why not?”
“Um, what if I mess something up?”
“I’ll be right behind you to make sure nothing happens.” Luna swallowed and walked up to the first manipulator, the machine glowing slightly as she approached. She propped herself up on her hind legs to get a better view, pushing a few vials out of her way.
“Do you need something to stand on?” Celestia asked.
“No, I can do this.” Luna pulled one vial close and emptied its contents into the manipulator. An image of a double helix appeared before her, and she pulled another vial forward and began to empty that one. “How’s that?”
“Well, you’re off to a good start. Now you just need to remove some things and make sure that the others can fill the gaps.”
“Okay...” Luna pressed a few buttons and watched as the helix rearranged itself. “Like that?”
“Yes, but be more careful in your choices; you may accidentally delete something that could be structurally important to the creature you are creating.”
“Did I do that? I did, didn’t I?”
“You’re doing fine, Luna.” Luna swallowed and continued working, a small bead of sweat forming on her temple. She removed several more chains and replaced them with others, and soon a new pattern began to emerge. she licked her lips and moved several more links, sighing once she was sure she was finished.
The device beeped and out came a small animal, about half the size of Luna. It was avian in appearance, yet it contained the hind legs of a lion. The chick blinked at Luna and chirped, fluttering its wings slightly before standing up.
“Congratulations, Luna.” Celestia said. “You have just created a Griffon.”
...
Griffons had become more common as time went on. Small flocks had sprung up around the world, with the largest populations on a continent to the southeast. They tended to keep to themselves and rarely interacted with other groups, and Celestia was beginning to see signs of potential civilization coming from some of the larger tribes.
Luna had tried her hoof at other projects, and soon dragons and what she called “Star Bears” had begun to appear. Large predators, they were usually few and far between, and tended to stick near Griffon territory where hunting was good. Some strayed close to Celestia and Luna’s shelter, and the elder sister was able to test Her skills against them; a pack of dragons had attacked only the week before, and asides from a few scuffs to Her armor She was no worse for wear. But She had more important things to deal with than dragons.
“Luna, can you come here for a moment?” There was the sound of hooves on stone as the younger alicon approached her sister. Luna had grown again, and was now up to Celestia’s chest. The elder sister did not look up from Her work as the younger approached, only stopping once She was certain Luna was standing at Her side.
“You sent for me?” Luna asked. One thing Celestia did not like about Luna’s growth spurt was that she had lost some of her innocence and had become less fun-loving. Rarely would she go on about her own little worlds, instead devoting her time to managing the night and watching Celestia’s every step.
“Yes.” Celestia produced a genetic manipulator, three different strands of DNA displayed on the screen. “I suppose you know what this is.” Luna leaned in for a closer look.
“It looks like your genetic code but... modified, with a few things removed.”
“Exactly. I think it’s time that there were more ponies in the world.” Luna raised an eyebrow in surprise.
“Isn’t that a little risky? I mean, there are other races already.”
“True, but not ones made in our image. Think of it, Luna; thousands of ponies, all unique in their design, reflecting the splendor that you and I possess.”
“So, all of them are going to look like us?”
“In a way.” Celestia activated several protocols on the manipulator, showing a few rough outlines of the ponies she was creating. The first was a normal pony, possessing neither wings nor horn, while the second and third possessed one or the other. The images held for a few moments before collapsing back into the double helixes, allowing the two sisters time to collect their thoughts.
“They’ll be weaker than either of us, but they will still possess several gifts from me. The Pegasi shall have command of the air, the Unicorns command of the Immaterium, and the Earth Ponies command of the ground. All of them shall work together in one unit, forging a society that shall emphasize harmony and industrialism.”
“How do you know that they will work together?”
“They must; their survival as a species depends on it. If the Griffons can begin setting up a society, so can these ponies.”
“Perhaps one of us should be there to guide them along.” Celestia shook Her head.
“I do not need them to be coddled. They must learn to survive and develop on their own without our influence, otherwise they would rely on us to save them all the time.
“But you always spoke of followers; how is distancing yourself from them going to achieve that?” there was a pause.
“In time, Luna, in time. For now, though, it’s best if we keep out of their way.”
“Whatever you feel is best, sister.” “Sister”? Whatever happened to “Tia”? She shook Her head again and finished the manipulation, three small cells separating and floating into different compartments.
“The entire process should take a few months. Start searching for suitable locations for them to settle.”
“Yes sister.” Luna turned to leave before Celestia called out to her.
“Oh, before you leave.” Celestia’s horn glowed and a suit of armor popped out of thin air. It was of similar design as Celestia’s armor, only smaller and silver in color. An image of a crescent moon was etched into the right pauldron, and an alicorn with her wings spread wide took up most of the chestplate. “I forged this the other day. It should protect you from anything that might try and hurt you.”
“I... I don’t know what to say. Thank you!” Luna smiled as she levitated different segments of the armor and strapped them on, a small hum coming from the armor as each piece connected. Once she was fully armored, Luna looked at Celestia and smiled again.
“Stay safe, Luna.”
“I will.”
...
There was a tremor in the Warp, small enough to slip by the watch of Celestia. Deep within the bowels of the Immaterium, in parts that even the Lords of Chaos rarely ventured, creatures began to stir. Beings of immense power, they were fueled by hatred, gluttony, and bigotry, devouring all and leaving only chilled husks to mark their presence. It was said that the first Eldar Gods had sealed them away, but with no gods to watch them and new life forming their prison was weakened enough for the last of them to slip through to this new realm.
As the first ponies took their first steps in the world, the air began to cool.
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There's a group for that.
Also, do you want a prereader or a proofreader? I'm more than happy to volunteer, I'm just curious if it'll be more editing or reviewing for flow.
Also also, I know that Salacar has a standing offer to proofread any non-grimdark stories, so... yeah.
1653855 Then I shall find it! Really, I just need to do a few touch-ups to make sure it doesn't have a lot of glaring plot-holes and spelling errors
so story keeps getting better and better
1653862
Sorry if my comment was initially brusque, I wanted to ensure that I had first while still providing decent feedback, and I wasn't expecting such a fast turnaround.
So, I added in the group link, and based on your edit, I wouldn't mind one bit at getting an early look at the chapters.
muwahahahaha! Discord, Greater Spirit of Chaos, slithering his way to the material plane
1654005
... What trickery is this? Playing tricks on our minds? I must be...
tdotcomics.ca/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/aliens-meme.jpg
1654041 Tzeentch did it
1654052
They play with your mind, man! I heard if one of the little ones bite you, YOU TURN INTO THEM! Nuh-uh, I don't want to become one of those bird-like creatures, no way, man. I'm out!
CAN'T WAIT! I love where you're going!
Nicely done, sister bonding done real well.
I wonder when the alicorn Cadence will appear. Also cool story, I wonder how the ponies will avoid warp corruption.
1654202 to answer when Cadence will appear... right before the Lunar Heresy
chess rilly celly? chess is a solved game like tic tac toe-it is pritty serprizing that you lost to a pony that isn't using magic or had any knowledge of the statigys of the game. celestia you have fore-sight you can see the futher, and you probably know every possible move in the whole game
i am disappointed in you tia
1654202 remember the emperor killed the chaos gods their demons are why the warp is dangerous
1654573 She threw the game to make Luna feel good about herself
Much yes to be had. I was wondering where those would come in.
Also, Discord is a primordial Tzeentch? Maybe?
I'd be happy to exchange reading services with you. Eternal Twilight could use some grammar nazi-ing, and one can never get enough beta feedback before something goes live.
1654573
Chess isn't actually solved. Its thought there is likely a solution, but we don't actually know what it is.
Chess endgames are solved, but that's a small part of the problem.
There are lots of nice bits in this: The first cutie mark (and the suggestion that it is evidence some form of adolescence or development of maturity). I liked Celestia teaching Luna chess and I also liked the fact that a lot of the more advanced races of Equestria were Luna's creation rather than Celestia's. Finally were born Celestia's masterwork, the creature created in her image... The Ponies.
Now... was that the Windigoes we saw stirring there? I do believe it was! I wonder if the Fire of Harmony was more than just a magical outburst fuelled by friendship!
Are you going to include the Crystal Ponies and the rise and fall of Sombra in this?
Hmm..so after "death" of the old Warp all gods etc is dead now...So Why even Emperor had set free Eldar godess Isha(this was suprising for me, I always have thought that Emperor want galaxy only for humans, no eldars no orcs no aliens at all, only homo sapiens.)? She should be dead anyway....
Ah and Discord...I have the feeling that Tzeentch skeleton gave "birth" to Discord ;)
1656677 Yes
1628488 THAT! IS! AWESOME! DO IT!
I'm guessing these beings that the Eldar Gods had locked away include the Windigos, Tirek, Grogar, Discord, the ancestors of the Changelings, and what will later turn Luna into Night Mare Moon, among who knows what other things.
Wait, here's a crazy idea:
Tirek: Reincarnation of Khorne (never saw the movie, so I don't know how Tirek acts, but this is the closest I can think of)
Chrysalis: Reincarnation or descendant of the reincarnation of Slaanesh (feeds off love, sometimes excessively, although leans towards the domain of Nurgal considering Changeings are bug-like Chrysalis calls the lessers Changelngs her children)
Grogar: Reincarnation of Nurgal (only in the association with death, seeing as Grogar is referred to as a necromancer)
Discord: Reincarnation of Tzeentch (loves changing things and is a bit of a schemer, possibly on the level of Creed if he wasn't so arrogant.)
I. Am. Rock. Hard.
I'm putting my idea out as to whats been awoken. Is it the Windegos from the Hearths warming eve episode?
Great chapter. So Griffins and Ursa's were created by Luna? Cool.
1656361 actually chess is technically solved. super computers can calculate every possible move in a game from start to finish before the game starts so basically this happened
I have to say. I just opened up chapter 3. And its 2 am, so I'm probably going to leave this comment and go.
The story, is actually really interesting and I am enjoying it. Well, all of chapter 1 and the parts of chapter 2 that didn't have dialogue.
I'm an avid war-hammer 40k reader. If I don't own that space marines novel, one of my friends does and I've read it. I've also read almost all the current Horus Heresy novels(lol stop bragging, Dawn). And, you stated your relatively new, so I will say. I am impressed about how all the lore is pretty much hit on nicely. Though, I have to say... The second chapter has much to be desired from me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it for a solidish work of warhammer 40k fanfiction(Since it was basically just warhammer stuff, I'm judging that chapter alone for that) but, looking at it compared to some of my novels... There is alot that irked me when I took that mindset. Namely, the dialogue. It felt... well... Like it was trying too hard, to be honest. It just felt like something from a happier version of warhammer 40k, like Brigthammer 40k(HIGH ADVENTURE). The fighting and such could use a little added detail, and a little cleaning up, even from a fanfiction stand point, in my opinion. But, overall. I liked it. Can't say I enjoyed every sentence, but, I liked it. So, fav'd, and thumbs up. Maybe a watch if I enjoy the rest.
To sum it up in short... The dialogue for the second chapter makes me want to kill the space marines. With a butter knife. But, eh. This is fanfiction, not a publishing company, so I'll survive.
Another thing, I noted...
Stuff like...
You put Twilight's Dialogue the... 'Um, Yes?' With Celestia's action RIGHT after. That is confusing and bad. Please stop. It activates my editor mode.
Other then that, not many grammar mistakes, and if there is, I'm able to over look them because the story is bucking epic and I'm just slightly drunk and tired. I think I went on a small rant there... I'm sorry.
I still love the story and I may give my critique on anything else that jabs me in the eye. Hope this is helpful in some way. I need to sleep before I end up wanting to fix everything, everywhere.
1662223 thanks for your review. I will try to make it a little more clear and stop being so confusing
1654900 No.. I think the other elder gods of the warp...now hold on to your head hear...cus it might just get blown here.....came from or feared DISCORD!!!
The Big Bang Theory theme song ran through my head as I read that last line...
I think you'll have to retcon the return of nightmare moon with this.
lh4.googleusercontent.com/--egVVYL8W9c/ULese2ahrRI/AAAAAAAANUo/MDcU0uPWxN4/s1600/UltraDash.png
1708114
.... do want! 
Ooo she was the leader of Humanity before, Humanity is best thing ever! Celestia is best leader ever!
1708114 WHERE IN THE NAME OF THE EMPRAH DID YOU FIND SUCH A GLORIUS IMAGE?!?!
Discord is too op.
Wait a second.... Luna asks if it is magic.... but Celestia says there is no magic, it is just the Warp...... but then that means.........
My Little Empress: Friendship is the Immaterium.
Was this foreshadowing that Discord is something the Eldar sealed away, or am I off? PM me if you don't want to spoil.
5178251 The Chaos have no fucking clue where Discord came from.
Uh oh, that's a foreboding sign if anything!
ooh, windigoes!
The Eldar possibly sealed away Discord? I'm liking that! As a big brother myself I loved how Emps threw the chess game (there's no way he could've lost unless he threw it). I've done that a few times for my little sister (she's actually getting pretty damn good at chess) to build her self-esteem.
Rah!
Ooh Rah! Marine and his rifle baby!
GRIMDARK CHESS
Well, we can clearly see who the better influence is in this pair.
And thus was born grimdark standardized testing.
Emps, you were made from a bunch of shamans. Why play God? You could just say, "we could have ponies like us around".
8261656
This is inaccurate. Instead, the guards should be able to app move at once, and attack forward at once. After all... They are the Wall of Guns.
Foreshadowing~!
It somewhat bothers me that the Emperoress (heh) would create essentially crippled, mortal versions of herself. In canon, the Emperor was once merely a human with lots of power, but the base stock existed beforehoof. Here, she's making ponies as the dual of humanity, but the difference is that she was there first. She had the opportunity to do better this time around, and didn't. The ponies never got the option to say what they wanted, so the right thing to do would be to give them the option to pick, necessitating a broader range of powers.
I know that it's required that she picked that for them, since this is supposed to line up with canon of both franchises, but I, personally, would have chosen an AU where everyone is at least immortal, or at least very, very long-lived.
I'd also point out that if (as I believe) that humanity itself was created by God, we were originally immortal, and even in our fallen state, we can live forever in the afterlife (though which one could make that a con rather than pro). Contrasting that with the Emperor making mortals to start with, and a rather sketchy version of an afterlife if at all...
Well, it IS a grimdark story, I suppose.
So Luna made The Griffin. That fits
Foreshadowing?
Obviously.
How sad...
So Luna is the progenitor of the Griffins?
Most curious.......I did not foresee this
Yet all the more interesting