• Published 18th May 2013
  • 6,989 Views, 126 Comments

Sneezing Luna Doting Tia - Wasabi-beans



Luna has the cold, and Celestia acts all matronly which drives Luna crazy.

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Royal Canterlot Schnoz

Celestia, in the late evening, peacefully sat on her throne, signing some letters and bills levitated by her trusty, bespectacled, white unicorn secretary, Page Turner.

But she could hear the frigid winds blowing outside of the castle. Even snow was beginning to form around the windows and spires.

"Page Turner," said Celestia.

"Yes, Princess?" said Page Turner.

"Was winter supposed to be coming earlier this year?"

"Umm, no, Princess. Would you like to inquire with the weather department about it?"

"I would like that very much, Page Turner. Just make an appointment for me in due time,"

"Of course, Princess,"

And Celestia continued signing the papers, business as usual.

And that's when she heard it.

"HAAAAAACHOOOOOOO!!!"

This caused Page Turner to jump in fright, "Oh my goodness! What was that!? It sounded like some horrible monster had a sneeze!"

"My sister," said Celestia sternly, standing straight up and getting off her throne.

"Princess Luna!?" Page Turner exclaimed, now even more frightened, "I'm so sorry, Princess Celestia, I didn't mean-"

But Celestia paid no attention to her, her eyes blazed with a rare passion, "The Royal Canterlot Sneeze has returned. My little sister needs me,"

And she blazed off like a comet, leaving Page Turner's mane singed, and unfortunately, most of the paper on fire.

"AARGH!! The papers! The bills! NOOOO!!"


Though the weather was getting chillier by the minute, Celestia managed to pinpoint the source of the Royal Canterlot Sneeze as she flew in the open air .

She saw Luna, and her own personal assistant, Spoken Softly, on the grounds, with a row of her Night Guards. Celestia was well aware that though the Night Guard had its own captains and supervisors, Luna preferred to personally conduct weekly inspections.

And in front of the Night Guards, was a line of literally ripped earth, as if a beam of power forced the dirt, snow and grass off of it.

She landed on the ground, and the Night Guards immediately stood more upright than before. Luna had her tail to her sister, staring uncomfortably close at a Night Guard and not budging.

Celestia noticed Spoken Softly, the large, yellow male pegasus with pink mane and tail and a double bass cutie mark, looking quite flustered, as if hiding something.

"Good evening, my sister," said Celestia, pleasantly, and nodded to Spoken, who nervously nodded back.

"Good evening to you as well," said Luna rather curtly, and Celestia detected an almost muffled sound to it.

"Are you alright, Luna?" said Celestia more gently, "I heard The Royal Canterlot Sneeze, and came down as soon as I could,"

"A bit of dust flew my way and I sneezed, but that was all, sister!" snapped Luna, "You may return to your business, as per usual!"

"Then let me see your face first," said Celestia.

Luna practically dug her face deeper into her starry mane. "No,"

Celestia put on her big sister voice, "Luna..."

"...Promise you will not embarrass me in front of our subjects..."

"I promise," said Celestia matronly.

And Luna turned around to show her face. And immediately regretted it.

Celestia saw Luna's snout was a bright, glowing red, with her eyes slightly watery.

Luna has the cold.

"Oh...! My little sister...!" exclaimed Celestia.

The flashbacks zoomed all around her head. Deep, buried away memories of when she was younger, and taking care of Luna, who was still a little filly when she was ill.

There was the memory of Celestia feeding a little red-nosed Luna spoonfuls of herbal soup.

Then Celestia wiping Luna's nose when she gave the cutest little giggle.

And another of Luna being wrapped up tightly with a blanket.

Even a sound-byte of a filly Luna squeaking nasally, "I love you big sister!"

All those memories were too much for Celestia to inhibit, and she did the one thing that felt most right: she spread her incredibly long forelegs and huge wings to reach out and hug her little sister.

"Celestia!! Don't you dare-" and before Luna could run away, she was enveloped in the very warm, and very public embrace of her sister.

And all of the Night Guards, and a blushing Spoken, stared as Celestia hugged a clearly embarrassed Luna in her legs and wings, softly snuggling her in her gigantic grasp.

"Oh my poor, poor, darling little sister!" comforted Celestia, snuggling and hugging with all her might, "It's okay, it's okay, don't worry, you're safe now, your big sister is here,"

"Tiaaaaa...!" whined a now red-faced Luna, "Not in front of our subjects!"

It fell to deaf ears, and she placed a hoof on her nose, "Boop,"

"Argh! Celestia! Do not boop me!" complained Luna.

"Your snout is runny, and your body is cold, dear sister," Celestia said with concern, "How long has this been going on?"

"Just today! And I feel fine! Now leave me in peace!" whined Luna, whom Celestia still was hugging close.

And Celestia turned to Spoken, who looked more than nervous than ever before.

She asked nicely, "My dear Spoken Softly, may I know how long my little sister has had this cold?"

He actually squeaked at the question and tried to hide behind his pink mane. He mustered up enough bravery, and with a surprisingly deep and gravelly voice that nervously muttered, "Umm, the Princess-"

"Not a word from thee, Spoken Softly!" threatened Luna, "Else I shall have you scrubbing the entire astronomy tower for insubordination!!"

He whimpered adorably and cowered.

"Luna, do not bully your personal assistant, it's not nice," chided Celestia softly, "Please be honest, Spoken, you have my word that no harm will come to you,"

His eyes darted left to right. Celestia's angelic softness, Luna's unearthly harshness. Angelic softness. Unearthly harshness. Softness, harshness. Soft, harsh.

Spoken Softly went soft.

"Four days she's had the cold Princess Celestia!!" blurted the panicked Softly and knelt down, hooves covering his head, "Please don't hurt me, Princess Luna!! Please!!"

"Four days, Luna?" asked Celestia, surprised.

"I feel fine, sister!" snapped Luna, "While it is true that I am feeling under the weather thanks to this dreadful cold, it is nothing I cannot handle! Besides, I have too many important matters to attend to!"

"But your little nose is so red..." whined Celestia, poking Luna's nose with her hoof again.

"I said to not boop me!" yelled Luna, finally pushing the larger pony away, "I am not a little filly anymore!"

"But you will always be my little filly, Luna," said Celestia as she nuzzled Luna's neck, and Luna cringed, "And it is my responsibility to take care of you. Now come, you can sleep on my bed and I shall prepare you some nice, warm soup,"

Luna turned away in disgust and shame, "I told you Celestia, I am not little anymore! And I do not need to be doted on, especially from you! Now leave me be so I may continue with my inspection!"

"But Luna..."

"No 'But Luna'!" she insisted.

Celestia sighed, "Stubborn as ever. How about this then? The next time I hear Royal Canterlot Sneeze, I will be at your side as soon as I can to aid you, just like how it was when you were a filly,"

"That is, if, I sneeze again, big sister!" Luna hissed.

Celestia giggled so sweetly it unnerved Luna a bit. "Till the next Sneeze, little sister,"

And she flew off.

Luna and the Night Guards kept their eyes on her.

When she finally flew back into the castle, Luna rushed to the edge of the ripped earth, slammed her head onto the softened dirt, and could finally unleash the sneeze that she was holding back.

The sneeze, although muffled, was so strong it created a small shockwave that rippled the earth, causing the Night Guards to struggle with their balance. Spoken lost his and fell.

"Uuurghhh..." moaned Luna, as she lifted her head up. The Guards tried their best to not cringe as her red nose was caked with dirt, snow and snot.

"Spoken Softly," she said nasally. And Spoken jumped up and wiped her nose with a handkerchief.

"Thank you, Spoken Softly," she said, and muttered to herself with a frustrated hoof stomp, "Celestia can be so impossible sometimes...!"

And gave the Guards an extra nasty glare.

"What happened today will remain secret and confidential, UNDERSTOOD!!?" she bellowed.

"YES YOUR MAJESTY!" the Guards declared in unison.

"Spoken Softly?"

He gulped, "Umm, yes Princess?"

"Half the astronomy tower, and put your hooves into it,"

"B-b-but, Prin-"

A bolt of lightning struck Spoken.

He was ashen all over, and after a cough of dust, weakly muttered, "...yes, Your Highness, I will..."


Fancy Pants was quite surprised, though his expression kept relaxed. He was the first one to be by the table in the conference room, with nary a Night Princess to grandly greet him.

Unlike the much more relaxed Royal Sibling, Luna would always be earlier than him in their meetings.

Even had time to sip some tea.

Until finally, the conference doors slammed wide open, revealing the Night Princess, her famously meek assistant, and the cold air outside.

She wore a sour disposition and an even redder nose.

He kept his cool as always and said, "Ah, good evening Princess, and Spoken Softly. Typically, you would be the ones greeting me,"

"This would be the last time that happened, Fancy Pants," she sharply said, taking her seat, as the guards outside shut the door and cold away.

He definitely noticed her gulping down her entire cup of tea and pouring another hot one.

"I daresay this mysterious cold we're having, has slowed you down?" asked Fancy Pants coolly.

"Watch your tongue, Fancy Pants!" warned Luna, "I am not in the mood for your silver-tongue today!"

"But of course, Princess," he said.

Luna has poured her third cup, "Let us get on to business. Now, according to your tele-"

Luna's Royal Nose twitched, and she exclaimed in terror, "Oh no! OH NO!! SPOKEN SOFTLY...!"

"Y-y-yes, your Highness!" sputtered Spoken as he quickly produced out her handkerchief.

She grabbed it and tried her best to smother her nose down, but her neck heaved, her face strained and her entire body twisting and resisting.

And still Fancy Pants remained calm. He said with a smile, "Now Princess, please go ahead and let your sneeze out, I would not mind one bit, what with this horrid cold about,"

"You... do not... COMPREHEND!" Luna screeched, her red nose winning out, "If I do... it will... Celestia...!"

And she couldn't hold it in anymore, "HAAAAAAAA-"

And she sneezed at the door.

"-CHOOOOOOO!!!"

The blast was so powerful it smashed through the doors and the wall holding it, not to mention sending Spoken midair, who gave a frightened, baritone scream.

A huge cloud of dust formed from the Royal Canterlot Sneeze that covered the entire wall. Fancy Pants calmly sipped his tea.

"My word, Princess Luna, you are quite the marvel," he said, impressed, "I am quite sure others of the Canterlot Elite would not approve, but then again, when have you ever cared on what they thought?"

"Uuuurghhh-huuurr-urrghhh..." mumbled Luna, on the floor and feeling absolutely horrid.

"Need some help, Princess?" asked Fancy Pants to a Luna who finally propped herself on the table.

And from the dust cloud came an answer, "That's quite alright, Fancy Pants, I'll be handling that,"

"Oh horseapples..." muttered Luna darkly.

And appeared Celestia majestically, from the cloud. Besides her usual regal self, on her left was an uninjured but trembling Spoken, and on her right was a large sack which she levitated with her.

It was labelled in large golden paint: CELESTIA'S BABYSITTING BABY SISTER KIT.

"And, what is in your Babysitting Baby Sister Kit, Your Highness?" asked Fancy Pants.

"Merely the essentials to take care of my little sister," she said proudly, and out of the bag, she levitated a a large blanket adorned with the sun symbol.

And before Luna could leap away in horror, Celestia's blanket rolled her up in a tight vice, which Celestia added on by hugging her lovingly.

"It's been so long since I have made a Lunar-rito. Come Luna, to my room, where I can properly nurse you," said Celestia, and with Luna levitated in the blanket and struggling to break free, trotted out of the room, with Spoken following fearfully behind.

"WE WILL NOT BE NURSED, ACCURSED SUN-LOVING SISTER! WE ARE A BIG PONY NOW!! THIS IS TREASON AND PUBLIC INDECENCY THOU HAST COMMITTED!! WE ARE THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT AND WE SHALL HAVE OUR REVENGE...!!"

Fancy Pants looked on as Luna's yelling and whining died down, and took another sip.

"Ah, never a dull moment when those two are together," he muttered to himself.


'Isn't this nice, sister? Me, giving you my homemade herbal soup, and you, laying snugly and toasty in your little Lunar-rito," said a rather pleased Celestia, who blew more flames into her fireplace. She was the Sun Princess after all.

"I AM NOT A LUNAR-RITO!!" yelled a still struggling Luna.

Her fore-hooves stuck out adorably at the edge of the blanket, wiggling desperately for freedom."Urrgh! How did you wrap this so tightly!?"

"Speaking of wrapping, sister," said Celestia, "I have relieved Spoken Softly of his punishment. That was rather unnecessary of you,"

"He is no longer under your supervision, Celestia! You have no right to-" and a spoonful of soup was shoved into her mouth.

The taste completely caught her by surprise, and that surprise mutated into Luna spitting the entire dose out. The spoonful of soup rocketed and made a crater on Celestia's wall.

"Aargh!! What was that!? It tastes of musty hairballs mixed with Extract of Pure Bitter-gourd!!" yelled Luna in disgust, still spitting the soup out.

"That was my herbal soup that I made for you a few thousand years ago," said Celestia, "I am quite sure you remembered my famous Hearty Healthy Homemade Herbal Soup, for a variety of ailments!"

"You just fed me liquid made a few thousand years ago!!??" screamed Luna in rare terror, struggling even harder than before.

"Oh, don't worry sister! It's meant to keep, see!" she said. She even took a deep whiff into the thermos where a dirty brown scent got sucked into her nostrils. Luna felt more ill than before.

"Mmm, it has aged quite well! It smells more aromatic than ever before!" chirped Celestia and she spooned a tiny drop and sipped.

She gave a thoughtful look, "But perhaps it will be more palatable if it's warm..."

And she poured some of its contents into a teacup. Luna nearly blanched at the sight of an assortment of shriveled and unsightly bits and bobs that poured down with the brown sewage-like liquid. Celestia gently blew flames at its bottom.

Luna thought she was seeing things, but the steam that came up evaporated into skulls. A variety of skulls.

"Celestia, as your royal equal in our fair land, I order you to not feed me your millennial old soup!!" begged Luna in desperation.

"Hmm..." Celestia actually gave a thought. then said, "But as your big sister... I overrule it,"

She scooped a big dose with extra chunks of nasties on it. Luna's fore-hooves wiggled more severely than before, which actually made Celestia gush.

"Aww, Luna, look at you, wiggling your cute little hooves!" she exclaimed, "Now be a good little filly and say 'AH',"

"Neigh," stated Luna, who then scrunched her mouth shut.

"Really?" said Celestia sadly, who turned away, "Well, if that's the case-"

And she turned back to tickle her sister's sides, "Gootchie-gootchie-GOO!"

"AAARGHH!!" screamed Luna in shock, and Celestia swiftly shoved the spoon in.

Luna's face contorted, twisted, until finally, she swallowed. A blank, empty face resulted.

"Well, feel better now sister?" asked Celestia, "If memory serves me right, my soup is not an immediate cure,"

And Luna uttered, "HAAAAA-"

"Uh oh,"

"HAAAAA-"

"Wait just a moment, Luna, I'll get your old hankie!"

"HAAAAA-"

"Oh look, sister! It has laces and your cutie mark on it! It's so cute and small!" She then placed the tiny hankie over Luna's snout.

"HAAAAA-"

"Cute and small... full-sized pony... huge, Royal Canterlot Schnoz... uh oh..."

"-CHOOOOOOO!!!"

The magnitude of Luna's sneeze blasted Celestia's entire room into a dusty wasteland, furniture and dust flying everywhere, nary a pony to be seen.

It took awhile before the dust settled, and Celestia was unharmed, having put up a golden shield just in time, though pushed back several meters from Luna.

And to her antiquated and tiny hankie's credit, it stayed in one piece as it stuck to Celestia's shield with Luna's snot.

"Luna! Luna!" yelled her sister, the dust still making things hard to see. She finally lowered the shield, fearlessly grabbed the snot-covered hankie, and flapped all the dust away.

The dust was gone, and so was Luna, leaving only a Luna-shaped hole on Celestia's wall, with the snow once again billowing in.

Author's Note:

1. If Spoken Softly reminded you of someone, ahem, Blu Mankuma...
2. Luna-rrrrrrrito!
3. Don't forget to check out Falco9998's page! His pic of Tia and Luna are great!

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