Kuno yawned and stretched slowly, accidentally pushing the empty cake box off the bed and to the floor. Thankfully, the box itself was empty: she had placed Warden’s slice of cake in the fridge. Her stomach told her that maybe she shouldn’t have eaten so much cake, but she was willing to put up with the discomfit. It was worth it.
Already, Kuno had memorized the date, so she could remember when her birthday was. Even if she was with somepony else, she would remember her birthday.
And then that thought stopped Kuno in her tracks.
The changeling sat up suddenly, blinking and turning to stare into the mirror across the room, watching her own reflection with wide eyes.
Even if she was with somepony else?
If?
Was she really thinking of staying here with him?
Kuno growled faintly, shaking her head and then rubbing her hoof against her temple slowly, trying to clear her mind. It was insane that she was even considering staying with Warden. He was a train wreck in motion. A perpetual mistake.
Kuno’s eyes fell on the collar around her throat, and she lifted a hoof to delicately prod at it. Her hoof slid over the ‘KUNO’ threaded into it, and her gaze softened. Warden wasn’t so bad. His heart was in the right place, he just needed a backbone. Or he was co-dependant, and needed somepony to guide him constantly.
The changeling frowned, and then dropped her hoof, sighing softly to herself.
There was a sound at the door, and she turned to see Warden standing there, with a bucket with a spray bottle in it hanging from one wing.
“I’m off to... To... Well, I thought I’d let you know I’d be gone for a little while,” Warden finished lamely, looking away.
“Off to tend to your Aurora plants?” Kuno accused.
Warden hung his head. “I have to...”
“I’m coming with,” Kuno stated, slipping off the bed and stretching.
“I have to, Kuno. Or Dagg—wait what?” the pegasus did a double take, blinking.
“I’m coming with you,” Kuno said calmly, walking toward the door. “Show me this plant that’s so special you’re ruining your life for it.”
Warden frowned at that, before he gave a jerky nod. “I suppose it can’t hurt...”
Kuno waved a hoof. “So, lead the way then.”
Warden led Kuno outside, and then turned towards her, raising a brow. “You can fly, right?”
“I have wings,” Kuno pointed out with a roll of her eyes.
“Well, I just thought...” Warden trailed off, before shaking his head and then bounding several steps, launching himself into the air. Kuno glanced about, biting her bottom lip. There was a flash of green light, and when it faded, a young blue pegasus with a green mane was standing in Kuno’s place, with a flower cutie mark.
Changed-Kuno bounded after Warden, launching into the air in turn. It took several flaps of her wings to get used to the way they worked at the air, before she got the hang of it and sped after the pegasus.
Warden was momentarily surprised when Kuno caught up with him, looking her up and down and blinking once, before it dawned on him that she had changed.
“Didn’t wanna get seen as a changeling!” Kuno pointed out.
The pegasus nodded once in understanding.
It took a good ten minutes of flying before Warden dipped down towards a clearing in the forest canopy. Kuno followed after him, landing besides the pegasus in long, soft grass.
Warden waved a hoof for her to follow as he started down an overgrown trail, pushing his way to a cliffside and a large ravine that cut down the length of it. Immediately, he started down it.
“Geeze. Are we gonna have to insert a bone key into a rock and go down a hidden spiral staircase?” Kuno asked, looking up towards the line of sky that was visible through the top of the ravine.
Warden blinked once, pausing and looking back at her, bewildered. “You’ve been here before?”
Kuno blinked slowly. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m not,” Warden said with a laugh and a sly grin, shaking his head, poking his tongue at her teasingly. “You’re gullible.”
“Well... your face!” Kuno huffed, flailing a hoof at him and snorting.
Warden just chuckled and continued down the ravine. Eventually, the ravine terminated in a large clearing covered in a thick canopy, with muted shafts of light coming down through gaps in the greenery.
The walls of the ravine clearing where slick with running water, and there was a still pool of it in the centre, fed by the trickles coming from the rocks. The slick edges of the rock were mossy, and there were creeping vines of some description all over it.
The vine itself was a strange looking thing: green with red tendrils running through it that visible throbbed with brightness as though with a heartbeat. Yellow bulbs were scattered along the length of the vines periodically, with those same red veins in delicate tendrils visible along the closed petals.
“They’re almost ready to bloom,” Warden said excitedly, bouncing on his hooves and pulling out his spray bottle, moving up to the first bulb and inspecting it closely. After several long moments, he gave the bulb a single spray with the water bottle.
Kuno watched with mild interest, head tilted to the side curiously. “So... you just spray them?”
Warden looked back at the changeling with a single snort, shaking his head. “No. This is a special formula.”
The changeling rolled her eyes. “So you added a little bit of fertilizer?”
“Actually, I steeped a collection of five very expensive, very hard to grow herbs in this water, so that they’ll encourage growth in this vine. Aurora is so rare because it doesn’t grow in the wild. It was created,” Warden explained enthusiastically.
“And what was it created for?” Kuno asked, peering at the vine as Warden went around spraying the bulbs individually, carefully inspecting each before spraying them, and the vines surrounding them.
“Well, it was originally designed as an all-purpose plant. It’s a powerful anaesthetic when it’s diluted right, as well as an amnesiac. Makes it rather useful as a drug for operating rooms, because it ruins your short-term-memory completely. Anything from when you woke up, you will not remember. But... that also makes it a very, very bad date-rape drug,” Warden said with a deep frown. “There was even a case of pony who murdered his wife and then injected himself with Aurora so he’d forget he ever did it.”
Kuno blinked and wrinkled her nose. “So it’s a narcotic and and a date-rape drug. No wonder it’s illegal.”
Warden gave a weak laugh at that. “Oh, and erm... when you distill it right and mix it with ammonia, the resultant crystals are... well, rather volatile when mixed with simple water.”
“Volatile?” Kuno asked flatly.
“They explode,” Warden pointed out.
“Goodness. It’s a date-rape drug, an illicit substance, and an explosive?” Kuno asked, aghast, staring at the plant.
“Well, it was manufactured,” Warden pointed out with a helpless shrug. “It’s a cross between several different plants, actually. Which is why it’s so damn hard to keep the vine alive and thriving. It was a group of unicorns, back in the day, who partnered up with the growing consortium of the old Earth Pony Growers League, and they designed the perfect plant. A plant that could be used for anything. They failed miserably and came up with Aurora.
“They chose vines because they could use vertical space rather than fields, and a pegasus team could help pick the fruits once it was good and ripe. Dunno who found out about the exploding thing, but it’s something to do with the magic that manifests in the plant during the growing phases. Once the sap is crystallized, it dries out so far that the addition of water causes a massive expansion. Then there’s friction so great it sets the air around it on fire, and the displaced air causes a pressure wave like an explosion. Apparently, if you set it off in sub-zero conditions, or in a vacuum spell, you’re left with this fluffy white substance that’s softer even than clouds.”
“But why even use it as a narcotic in the first place if it’s so hard to grow?” Kuno asked, bewildered.
“Because it’s non-lethal. You can’t overdose on it no matter how you take it. You might knock yourself out for a few days... maybe die from the dehydration from not drinking or eating. But the actual drug itself can’t kill you,” Warden pointed out with a wry smile. “Not to mention there are no documented long-term ill effects. Well, except the addiction...”
“So hospitals won’t pay for Aurora?” Kuno queried, lifting up one of the bulbs gingerly and peering at it.
Warden snorted once. “Pay for it? They’d kill for this stuff. An anaesthetic that is non-harmful, and causes manageable, precise amnesia? If it wasn’t so hard to grow, they’d stop using morphine at all.”
“Then why not sell it to the hospital? You could go legit. Get a license, or a pardon, or something from Celestia or something!” Kuno pointed out with a grin.
“And I could have my wings broken by Daggertail and his underlings,” Warden stated with a defeated sigh. “I’m one of the last growers in this entire region. All of the others either gave it up entirely and sought protection from the royal guard, or left entirely. I think they even killed one of the other ponies who could grow it...”
Kuno splayed her ears back at that, frowning deeply. “And if Daggertail wasn’t around?”
“Then somepony else would replace him,” Warden said with a slow shake of his head. “I know you want to help, Kuno, but... I’m stuck here. I’m happy where I am. I get to grow one of the hardest plants ever, and I’m good at it. And I guess it makes people happy...”
“And destroys their lives,” Kuno added with a single stamp of her hoof.
Warden stared down at his forehooves, poking at the rock sadly. “I guess, yeah... but I try not to think about it. I can’t change it, and it just makes me depressed.”
Kuno frowned at that, shaking her head before she stepped over closer to the pegasus and then hugged around him with her forehooves, rubbing her cheek against his own soothingly. “If I help you get rid of Daggertail, you gotta give me all the love, kay?”
Warden gave a hollow laugh. “If you got rid of him and got his goons off me, I’d marry you.”
Kuno snorted once and nudged the pegasus, rolling her eyes. “Be careful what you offer, Warden.”
“You’re not stupid enough to hold me to that,” Warden said with a shake of his head.
“You’re right,” Kuno replied instantly.
Warden splayed his ears back at that, giving a soft sigh.
Kuno snorted once, lifting the pegasus’ head with her hooves, “Oh grow up,” she chided, licking between his eyes slowly. “Marriage is overrated. I’d much rather your goal be to get me into bed.”
Warden blinked once at that, looking up at her.
Kuno grinned innocently. “As your wife, I’d make you utterly miserable. But in bed, I’d make you love me.”
The pegasus mulled that over for several moments, before drawing back and staring at her. “How many stallions have you been with?”
“Hundreds,” Kuno replied shamelessly. “Even some mares.”
Warden shirked back at that, wrinkling his nose. “Wow.”
“Call me a whore, or easy, or anything like that, and I’m going to eat your eyeball,” Kuno stated flatly.
“Hundreds,” Warden pointed out, lips pursed.
“And how many meals have you had, Warden? Thousands?” Kuno asked flatly, her eyes narrowing.
“I... I guess?” Warden replied, bewildered.
Kuno raised a hoof, waving it angrily. “That is what sex is to me. A meal. I don’t do it for intimacy. I don’t want intimacy with the ponies I’m taking love from. I want their love. And sex is such an easy, easy way to get it. If you could get a free buffet any time you wanted, would you do it?”
Warden frowned deeply, looking away. “I... Well... When you put it that way.”
“Good boy,” Kuno said, smiling wryly and patting the pegasus on the shoulder.
“You haven’t been... well... contemplating seducing me just for a meal?” Warden asked, trying to sound apprehensive but coming across more eager than anything else.
“I resisted the urge. Perhaps a few days ago, when my reserves were so low. Why do you ask?” Kuno queried, an ear perking.
“Oh... just... I really like Spitfire,” Warden said as he started back down the ravine.
Kuno rolled her eyes, following after him with a shake of her head, her tone turning accusing as she pushed him with a hoof. “Pervert.”
Absolutely brilliant!
Hah I live the last lines.
Ah, the good ol' "your face!" comeback.
The most timeless and effect response ever.
....
Hahahahaha! Oh yeah Kuno! Way to make him blush!
Defeat Daggertail and then all the HAPPIENESS will be hers!
Im in love with this story! Feed off my love for it changling! :P
Kuno's subconsciousness: "Oh, it is on!"
This is like Breaking Bad...you know, if Walter were a pussy.
More.
So good
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/084/2/6/spitfire_by_thatsgrotesque-d4tx9y7.png
One was, a widowed cop, turned crooked, the other a dame from the wrong side of the tracks, brought together under the most unlikely of circumstances they would prove to be the undoing of a crime ring that held an entire town in an iron grip, and through it all they would find that from the most unlikely sources you can find your greatest strength.
I would imagine sex can be a useful way to get a good meal if the passion is genuine. (I.E. The pony actually loves the pony she is disguised as, not because he wants to get laid.) If it isn't genuine, then it'd probably be like junk food or something.
I am curious though. I wonder if Warden likes Kuno back because she reminds him of Swarm. It is somewhat common for people to fall in love again with others that have similar personalities to past loves.
Of course, Kuno is taking a liking to him too, mainly because Warden actually cares about her and not whoever she's disguised as. There's also the fact that Kuno isn't exactly eager to go back to impersonating ponies back and forth again. She wants to settle down and relax after all the crap she went through in her life. Whatever or not Kuno is experiencing true love or a simple crush, only time will tell.
1637782
Warden is just season 1 Walter.
The plot is taking more and more interesting turns...
Is that a Scrubs reference there? I swear I heard something like that on there before.
Not perfect but closer to your better chapters.
So Spitfire is going to make an appearance sometime in the future of this fic. Oh wait, I meant "Spitfire."
I totally see Warden pulling a Heisenberg on Daggertail
Well this was a fun chapter.
This rules.
KICK DAGGERTAIL'S BUTT, KUNO!!!
Likin' the direction it's going in.
Loved the last few lines. Great story I hope it keeps going 4 a long time.
What Warden says at the end dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_rape.png ...a changeling would be like having any partner you wish, like Mila Kunis or Christina Hendricks or Scarlet Johanson.
I see a clop sequel in the future. If you don't write it someone will...
I wonder how Kuno will help Warden, James Bond style? Maybe tf2 spy style? Well can't wait for the Lethal Weapon or Godfather killing of a gang!
1637769
Kuno:
skepticon.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/knapp01.png
Warden: "Wut"?
Shoulda seen that comin...
love it! just love it! keep it up..er... going
Well, I guess you could say, Kuno was screwed.
2.bp.blogspot.com/_OL3Aupo7450/TOfIdWn-JpI/AAAAAAAAACo/Cz32d28ypUc/s1600/csi_yeah_skyline.jpg
Damn it, this story is amazing!
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There is this lovely story that benefits from this idea. (It's a clopfic just saying)
The Changeling Brothel srsly that's an obvious idea.
Ahahaha
Kuno is awesome. It's fun watching her tease him... and I'm wondering just what's going on in her mind.
>> Evil Paladin
I do believe it should go like this.
Kuno:
treaclechops.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Challenge-Considered.gif
Warden:
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Well after Warden's offer I'm sure that Daggertail isn't going to live much longer.
I suspected Warden may think I would be nice to be with changling due to her morph ability but actually voicing it was hilarious.
All my yes!
Is it just me, or do your changelings seem to be the dominant ones in their relationships (although Raindrop is part changeling).
I do hope Warden does grow a backbone sometime. It'd be nice to see the whole actiony bits go so Kuno gets close to getting killed, then Warden finally has the guts to eviscerate Daggertail or something like that because he's not gonna lose another one, dammit.
Awesome. I can't wait to see how Kuno deals with Daggertail
Wahhahah!
I really laughed at that part. Like in REAL life! Usually I just smile.
You... You.... Too funny!
Oh, I am high on oxygen after walk in the park.
Still too funny.
I do so love this story
1614322 Thank you, dear god, thank you so much! You made me just think of the most brilliant story ever! All because of that name! Thank you!
For some reason I envision the rest of the story not unlike a certain well-known TV show. Baking Bad: Growing is Magic! Oh well.
I have to admit, I'm liking this story. It's the first changeling story to keep my attention. Thanks!
No wonder this is featured!
Excellent work on this!
I like this story.
Juno is hilarious.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh things gettin serious somewhere in the future i bet they gettin in bed with eachother
Oh god, mix that with poison joke and have twi work on it and it will be complete Somepony make this NOW
0_o
Hmm. I have to wonder if changlings feed off lust......or if they just use the terms love and lust interchangeably.....
1637801 LO-FUCKING-L, dude.
1635453
Thanks...
This story is like Aurora, only more addicting :).
MOAR!!!
More more more more!!,!