• Published 28th Oct 2012
  • 7,697 Views, 608 Comments

Waking up as Rarity. - TonydBrony



You ever wake up in someone elses shoes? I have, but this is ridiculous! Rated teen for langauge.

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A Totally Normal Lunch

You guys know the advantages backpacks have over purses? One, they have more space for cool things I pick up! Two, it isn’t as girly and is much more practical. Hey, don’t you dare say it’s girly because it’s pink! I like the color pink...

There’s nothing wrong with the color pink, Tony.

See, Rarity is on my side!

At anyrate, Ryan pulled into the parking lot and his brakes squealed as we came to a stop. He pulled the key out of the ignition and pointed at something across the dashboard. “Hey Tony.” He nudged me. “Check it out.” He said, the concern in his voice worried me. I propped my hooves against the dashboard to see what he was talking about.

A sign hung from the door that read ‘Welcome Ponies!’ and next to it was a man in a cowboy getup with fake yellow ears taped on a stetson. He was spinning a smaller sign that said the same thing.

“You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.” I whispered and turned to my orange haired companion. The look on his face disheartened me. “Hey, I’m not letting a few cosplayers get in the way of lunch. Still hungry?”

Ryan smirked and held out a fist to me; I met it with a white hoof. “Hell yeah, man. I don’t turn down a free meal.” He summoned up a Dallas Cowboys ball cap from the center console and donned it. “Specially if it’s with the best pony. Ever.”

We clicked our doors open in cadence of each other, and my hooves met the cool pavement just as his boots hit the ground. As if we were in synch, Ryan and I walked to the front of his truck. He met my gaze and nodded down to me. “I’ve gotcha back, man.” Ryan’s orange hair seemed to shine in the afternoon sun, making it look like he was on fire. “I’ll keep any crazies off you..”

Together we started walking across the parking lot and for once, I felt safe again. Something about Ryan’s stature was breathtaking and gave me a sense of security. Yeah, that feeling lasted about as long as a lit match in a thunder shower as my hooves were suddenly lifted off the pavement and I was being squeezed to death. Again.

As my lungs were being crushed I heard a young girl squeal, “Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh! I can’t believe Pinkie Pie is here!” She continued to squeal and crush what little oxygen out of my lungs. “This is soooo cool!”

I raised my head a bit to face my attacker. What I saw was a brown eyed girl with freckles and with poorly dyed rainbow colored hair. Not only did she hug me, but she swung me side to side and I got a little too familiar with her chest, much like a certain witch who almost killed me. I scowled up to her and her face was suddenly filled with dismay.

In those few seconds of being grabbed, I felt the urge to say something like, “Do you have any idea what happened to the last person who hugged me like his?” Or, “You’ve got ten seconds to put me down before I bite your hand off.” But I just stopped and looked up to her with nothing to say as my hood slipped off my head.

Don’t worry Tony, I’ll handle this one for you. Rarity chimed in and a subtle chill crawled down my back.

The girl stood there in silence for exactly five seconds. “Hey! You’re not Pinkie Pie!” She finally started to complain, still death hugging me.

“Excuse me, darling?” I said very calmly, yet legitimate rage was flowing through my veins. It’s as if I weren’t in control of my own actions. “Would you be a dear and put me down?” I clear my throat, or at least I think I do. “You see, I’m trying to treat my friend to lunch and I can’t do that if you’re squeezing the life out of me.”

There you are, Tony. Not everything needs to be solved with foul language and harsh words. She happily chimed in and pushed me back into control. The feeling of being shoved back into Rarity’s body made my head spin.

The girl was stunned and her grip loosened. “I’m soooo sorry!” She dropped me and was on her knees with her hands together. “I thought you were Pinkie Pie!” She pleaded, a tear streaming down her cheek. She looked genuinely sorry, but it was hard to tell since was still suffering from the sudden lack of oxygen and gasping on the ground for sweet oxygen. Go figure, right?

After I regained my breath I looked back up to the girl. “I’m unsure whether I should be flattered or offended that you thought I was Pinkie.” I said and got back up on my hooves. “Wait, I take it back. Definitely a compliment.”

The girl has her hands on her mouth as she gasped. “Omigosh! You’re Rarity!” She yells and goes to hug me again, but Ryan has already scooped me up and is carrying me away under his arm.

“I would be bitching at you right about now for being so late,” I sighed, as Ryan was really warm. “But better late than never, I suppose.” I grumble as Ryan carries me to the front door of the Golden Corral.

“Sorry, I saw this really sweet Dodge Charger and I had to stop and check it out.” He shrugs his shoulders and pushes open the door.

v^v^v^v^v

Right at the register, a woman with purple dyed hair stood tentative and ready to seat us. She was unperturbed by the white unicorn who asked for a table for two and showed us to our seats without question.

“The buffet special I presume?” She asked with an awfully large grin as I jumped into my chair.

“Yes, that’ll be fine, thanks.” I said, craning my neck around to see a thousand eyes staring at me. Many of them belong to kids, but a few men as well with gaping mouths and bits of food falling out of their jaws.

How brutish, they should learn some manners.

“You got that right, Rarity..” I whispered and turned back to the waitress. Her smile seemed so forced and unreal. It was scaring the hell out of me.

“And what to drink, ma’am?” She asked and wrote something down on a pad.

“Apple juice if you don’t mind.” I mutter.

“And you for you, sir?”

Ryan looked up from the menu. “Coca Cola please.”

The lady walked away, signaling Ryan and I to get to the buffet. I jumped out of my chair and followed my redheaded pal.

^v^v^v^v^

We pulled our plates along side the bar, picking up a few things that looked good. My own plate, which I had floating a few feet above me in a blue glow, was stacked with mountains of sliced bananas , cheesecake, and a pile of chocolate coated strawberries. On the other hoof, Ryan had mounds of steak, cheese, and fish piled on his meager porcelain plate.

“What, no vegetables?” I asked him playfully.

“Gee, thanks for looking our for me, mom.” He rolled his eyes and slapped down a mound of mashed potatoes. We head back to our seats hastily as people have taken notice to the little unicorn in at the bar, yet before I reach my chair, a teen who couldn’t be any older than fourteen stops me with a tap on the shoulder.

I turn to her direction and she has braces along her white toothed smile. Her brown eyes meet my own and she holds her arms out to me. She’s wearing a purple shirt with my face printed on it and something about her almost breaks my heart. I silently take a step closer to her and she bends down on one knee to me with her arms extended. I press my head against her shoulder and she wraps her arms around me gently. I feel her fingers run through my mane, but I make no attempt to stop her. It’s like I’m being treated like a child again. I feel safe.

“Ahh, Tony?” Ryan says down to me, but I put a hoof in his direction and motion for him to go away.

The girl’s embrace tightens for a moment before she breaks away from me and smiles.

“And it’s been wonderful meeting you too, darling.” I say calmly.

She gives no direct response, other than moving her lips wordlessly and a few hand gestures that I don’t recognize.

“Pardon me dear?” I say inquisitively. “Speak up, I can’t quite hear you.”

Her smile turns into a sad frown and I pay closer attention to what she is trying to say. Her lips are mouthing the words I can’t speak. My eyes widen in shock at the revelation that she is mute and I wrap my hooves around her torso as an apology and to show I care.

She seems to understand my gesture and lifts my chin with a finger and smiles down at me once more, and I kid you not, I could fall in love with that cute braced grin. I’m Sammy, she mouths once more and I think I hear my heart start to break.

“My name is Rarity and it’s a pleasure to meet you, Sammy.” I say quietly into her shoulder and take a small step back.

Sammy grins and raises an eyebrow.with a grin on her face that says otherwise.

Pardon me guys, I gotta take a moment to put my heart back together with duct tape and super glue....

“Okay, okay, my name is actually Tony.” I say guiltily and droop my head. Sammy presses a soft hand against my cheek. I lean against her hand as he follows the contours of my head and scratches the spot right behind my ear. Fair warning, if you see me and try this, unless you are adorable, expect to have your hand bitten off. No joke.

Sammy was the first to break the hug and cuddle fest first. She rose to her feet and started to fiddle with her fingers, shifting from side to side.

Ask her to have lunch with you. Rarity said in the confines of my mind.. She obviously likes talking to you, so do her that honor and spend a little more time with her.

“Care to enjoy lunch with me, darling?”

Sammy’s face lit up and she soundlessly gasped and put the end of her fingertips against her chest. Me? She pantomimed a faint and gave me her really cute smile.

“Well, what other young lady would I dare ask?” I say with a flip of my mane and hold a hoof up to her. Sammy looks as though about to faint, but lets me lead her back to my table where Ryan is sitting.

“Make a new friend?” Ryan chuckles through a mouthful of chewed food.

I curtly pull a seat out for my new friend and she takes a seat.

“Yes I did Ryan, and her name is Sammy.” I say matter of factly and jump into my own seat. Sammy holds a hand over the table in greeting to Ryan. He takes it apprehensively.

“Uhh, Hey. I’m Ryan”

She nods and waves a hand over her throat, shaking her head.

“Mute?”

Sammy nods.

“You’re not some psychopath who wants to abduct my little friend?”

She shakes her head furiously with a look of shock.

Ryan stabs a spoon into his potatoes and smiles. “Okay, you’re fine by me then.”

v^v^v^v^v

Although Sammy can’t speak, she told me a lot about herself while we ate. She’s fifteen, lives downtown and loves theaters.

A sliced banana on a fork was four inches from my face and slowly came closer. Sammy was feeding me bananas, strawberries and a piece of cheesecake. And again, any of you try this, I swear you will lose a few fingers.

Tony, have you no shame?

I nabbed the sliced piece of heaven and Sammy giggled soundlessly. There was a bright flash off to the side and Ryan was laughing.

“You cheeky bastard.” I turn my head slowly and see Ryan laughing in his seat with a phone.

“Instant internet classic!” Ryan snickers, hitting a hand on the table. “Rarity eating a banana!”

Sammy is silently laughing as well and I give in due to second hand exposure. Soon we are all howling louder than a pack of loonies in Bedlam.

“SAMANTHA!” A very loud and masculine voice yells from behind us. Her head jerks around and her face goes pale. I turn around in my seat with her to see who is yelling. “I told you not to wonder off!” A tall man in cargos and a blue tee is standing a few feet away. “You know what can happen if-” He stops and looks down at me. “Oh dear god, they’ve found me.”

I glance back up to Sammy. “Big brother?”

She nods, her face void of color.

He scowls and grabs Sammy by the wrist and jerks her away. “We’re going home, right now Samantha!” She falters for a moment and almost falls down, but catches herself and frees her hand. A few unknown gestures and hand signs later, her brother still looks pissed.

“No, I will not just give her a chance! Those damn ponies have already destroyed the days and you want me to have lunch with one?”

Samantha glared up at her brother. He was a good foot taller than her. She stamped a foot against the ground.

“Don’t you dare throw a tantrum here.” He said coldly and grabbed her wrist again. “We’re going home, that’s final!”

Sammy struggles to break from his iron clad grip with no avail and starts getting dragged away.

Tony! Do something! You can’t just let him take that poor girl! Rarity yells with panic in her voice. Heads up darling, assuming direct control! A familiar shock resounded through my body as I felt like I was getting thrown into a passenger side seat.

“I’m sorry, sir. We are doing our best to fix what Discord has done, he is the one that changed the days.” Rarity pleaded through my, or her mouth, holding a hoof to my chest. “I swear we are trying to fix this.”

He let Samantha go and she started rubbing her hand where a red ring encircled her wrist. “Then explain to me why this is even happening!”

“Discord is returning and has caused this and I’m doing what I can to ensure that chaos and destruction is not let loose upon this world!” Rarity jumps down from the chair and looks up to him. “You have to believe me, this isn’t our fault.”

Samantha’s brother glares down at me with hatred in his eyes, but unclenches his balled fists and bends down to eye level. “Just fix whatever has gone wrong. For Sam.”

“I promise you sir, I will do all that I can to restore order to this world, but just know that is not that pony’s fault things have gone awry.” With a tug at the back of my mind, I am back in control again, and the two are walking away.

“Dude. That was intense.” Ryan comments through a mouthful of food.

Author's Note:

*Putting his heart back together*
Sorry about the delay, my heart broke a few too many times, watch out you might step on a piece.
Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and if you have any questions, comments, and or concerns... Drop 'em off below.