He's a Vampire

by Gormless Wheaton

Monster in a Meeting

The sun was up now. I could feel it.

Even sitting in my lair, steeped in darkness far from light and hope, which is to say 'the janitor's closet,' I could sense the day had come. I added this to the book.

For the past few hours, apart from the occasional visit from Graggle or Briefs, I'd been filling my journal with everything I could think of or discovered relating to vampires.

Obvious stuff like sunlight, garlic, and ash wood, but also more obscure things I remembered reading, like wolf's bane, mustard seeds, or scattered rice, also went in the book. It didn't matter how far-fetched or stupid it was; if I remembered it had something to do with vampires, I wrote it down. Once night fell, and I'd dealt with my upcoming duties, I'd see about confirming any of these.

There were other problems on my mind, too.

It'd been an hour at least since I'd last had a visitor, and left to my thoughts, I was finally getting nailed by my situation.

It wasn't just I was a vampire now. I was in God knows where with talking animal people like from some fairy tale, and no way to call home. I didn't bother thinking I was hallucinating or dreaming. Having your skull beat in by a Diamond Dog is an experience I felt confident the brain wasn't able to conjure up on a whim.

Though it added to my anxiety about everything, I was taking it all at face value.

This was real; this was happening. And in maybe eight hours or so, I had an engagement with the government of Woollachia.

Graggle had informed me Twitch returned with good news. Many deserters relented upon hearing my terms and returned to us, raising our numbers to sixty-three. Those still unsettled by what they'd seen me do to Boss had left the region entirely as requested.

Mayor Briefs had also reported that he'd received word from his peers in the other villages, and having it confirmed that a warband had nearly overthrown the place, they were willing to at least meet with the prospective Prince of Woollachia and discuss unification.

I groaned deep and stretched my aching arms and body. Too many things were in motion for me to take back my hasty agreement to the Mayor's scheme, so I had little choice but to add running a rough military to my list of issues.

I rested my head against the wall and shut my eyes, mulling everything over.

Thunk

Well, that got my attention. I sprung up and reached for the door. As there was a skylight, I couldn't spare more than a peak. My poor choice of hiding places was overshadowed by my hand passing right through the doorknob.

Looking down at my hand, I discovered the source of the noise. It was just me. My body was vacantly leering as though I had died.

Good. Genuinely, I couldn't help but laugh.

Part of what kept me from panicking was the fact I could feel my connection to my body, like when your arm falls asleep and you can't move it right. With a little mental focus on that connection, I blinked and found I'd snapped back to my body. I quickly wrote 'sleep equals ghost' before closing my eyes again.

As expected, I was floating above my body again. Unsure of what else to do, I gently pressed against the door and passed right through. I was pleased with myself until I realized I was in the sun's rays.

Seizing up, I relaxed once I discovered nothing was happening. My faintly ethereal arms and legs weren't smoking, my face wasn't burning, and even as I looked up at the morning light, I found it almost tolerable to behold.

"Nice," I proclaimed.

"Who goes there?!" I jumped and turned to see Graggle with a stack of books looking about. "I could have sworn.. Must be exhaustion." He waddled off to his temporary quarters. I kept silent and carried on exploring as a ghost.

It was better than letting my anxious mind eat away at me.

---

Wandering around in daylight should have been a casual experience, but the fact no one could see me if I kept quiet transformed it into a titillating expedition.

The Diamond Dogs and Sheep were actually mingling, likely as Briefs had given a speech earlier announcing our plans to defend Woollachia with the dogs, and the villagers trusted everything their Mayor said. Well, almost all of them.

I spied Cozy, walking to Shawl's office with a basket. Briefs had spoken with her, and she was less than enthused about the idea of me staying in town, let alone rising to rule. I followed her into the doctor's home and realized after we'd made it to where Quilt sat speaking with Shawl, that I'd never been invited inside.

"Convenient," I thought to myself. Cozy and Quilt hugged after the former set her basket on the latter's bed.

"Shawl said you were feeling better, but wowie! Just look at you," Cozy said sweetly.

"Yeah, I had lots of weird dreams, but everything's good now," Quilt said with a brief smile before looking more severe. "Where's the monster?"

"He's in town hall with the Mayor. He's been there since last night," Shawl explained, finishing some papers.

"Briefs' gone crazy! He's planning to help that horrible creature take over!" Cozy cried. "He even told me not to tell anywooly what he did to you!"

"Well, he did help the whole town and," Quilt looked to the floor. "It wasn't that bad. Shawl said he didn't mean to, right?" Cozy groaned in response.

"I'm not sure if that makes it better. You didn't see how he sprang out of the dark the way he did. If that was an accident, something he couldn't control?" Cozy shuddered.

"The Mayor told me they'd be discussing that at the meeting later tonight, when the other village heads arrive," Shawl said, taking a seat with the others. "Briefs might be eager, but he's not an idiot. I don't think he'd willingly put the village at risk."

"And I don't think the monster's a bad thing," Quilt said, earning a look from her friends. "He came from the mountains, after all."

"Oh yeah, you said something like that when we were looking for a hiding place," Cozy muttered. "What was it again?"

"Grandpa used to tell me the mountains were magic, and our family would be safe there."

"Your Grandpa wasn't a Longhorn," Cozy said, tilting her head.

"Nope, but," Quilt looked away in my direction with a small smile. "He knew a thing or two about magic.."

She held her gaze, and I realized she was looking me in the eyes.

"Good morning, Peter," I heard faintly.

"Nah," I said and rushed outside, ignoring the calls of shock in the office. I literally flew back to the town hall and my body and sat hovering in the dark.

"See you soon," I heard again. I slipped into my body and wrote in large script, on an entire page, "Quilt is a Witch???" while wondering if keeping a crucifix on my person would cause seizures.

---

The hours ticked by quietly, and a knock came at my door. The noise brought the realization I'd drifted from my unconscious body again, and after I jumped back, I wrote 'daylight hours are sleepy.'

Opening the door, I saw Briefs looking up with a broad smile.

"Well, the sun's down! Everywooly's waiting in the conference room."

"Good evening to you too," I smiled and gestured for him to lead. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw through a window Sheep gathered outside, but my attention fell on Quilt, who was staring right back.

"Finish up so we can chat~"

"Fuck off," I mentally called back.

"Meanie.." She turned and vanished into the crowd. Problems for later.

Briefs led me to a room lit up by the moon through a skylight, where seven Sheep sat quietly talking around a long table. Hearing us enter, they went quiet and gave us their attention.

"And here we are, rams and lambs!" Briefs announced. The group studied me carefully, whispering to each other in specific pairs. Brief earlier explained that each village in Woollachia had a Mayor and a town council. The council was formed from the members of their communities chosen by the Mayor, and the Mayor was one of six candidates presented by the previous Mayor, chosen for the office by the council. The Sheep present were the Mayors, and individual council members selected by their peers to be present.

As Briefs had called for this meeting, he was sat at the head of the table, next to Silk, the Ruffleton council representative. He gestured for me to sit at the opposite end of the table, where his office sofa was set.

"Peter Harlow," Briefs began. "These are the delegates from Buttonburg, Patches, and Threadbare." He gestured to each party as he named them.

"Hello," I said with a wave. "Please to meet you all, despite how weird this has to be for you."

"Friendly for a monster," the Mayor of Patches said to my surprise. She waved off my reaction. "Don't give me that look. Briefs told us what your dog, Graggle I think, had discussed with him."

"We know you're some kind of monster, and if that in and of itself were a deal breaker, we wouldn't be here," the Council-ewe next to her added. "We're desperate and scared but not stupid, Mr. Harlow."

"Honestly, I'm just glad Briefs is presenting someone other than himself to head this 'Unified Woollachia' of his," the Council-ram from Threadbare scoffed. The others at the table voiced their agreement to Briefs' annoyance. I moved to speak but was cut off.

"We must set one thing straight before anything further, however," the Mayor of Buttonburg said, leaning on the table. "What exactly do you plan to do if we should grant our endorsement?"

"What do you mean?" I asked back. Buttonburg nodded.

"You've likely noticed our folk are, by and large, very easily led, Mr. Harlow," I gave an assenting shrug. "If we announce our support of you, the Sheep of Woollachia will take it to heart. Our endorsement is a practical transfer of power."

"Briefs has faith you have our best interest at heart, and your recent actions support that belief," Threadbare added. "He also said you prefer those working with you be upfront with their wants. In this case, we would ask for the same consideration."

I pondered the question for a moment.

"Beyond the obvious of directing the Diamond Dogs to ward off trouble, and probably shacking up in that spooky castle?" I closed my eyes and thought. I strained my brain and came up empty-handed. I would have preferred to refuse, but it was pretty obvious it was too late for that.

I could've lied and played up some evil scheme or something to get them to call it all off, but that wouldn't help anyone besides myself. And I was already enough of a blood-sucking parasite without-

Oh, shit, that's right.

My eyes snapped open, and I looked over the group.

"I'm not interested in dragging you into a war or anything like that. Honestly, I'll be happy just knowing I'm keeping things peaceful around here. But," I leaned in, and they mirrored my movement in interest. "I have some.. feeding concerns I have to make clear."

"What, you eat meat? We guessed that from those awful teeth of yours," the Mayor of Threadbare quipped with a roll of her eyes.

"I drink blood, lady," I clarified. The color in her face drained, and the rest of the table gasped. "And not by choice or for fun. It's a necessity for me now."

I let that fact hang in the air so they could digest this news and its implications. I relaxed in my seat and looked up at the moon.

"I might've had a lot on my mind the past few nights, but I think I can stomach what Briefs is suggesting," I let my gaze fall upon the group. "But if we're going to work together, we need to find a way to keep me fed without killing anyone."

The delegates shared a look before collectively sighing and exchanging words of relief.

"Disgusting, but not as bad as I thought," Threadbare said with a shake of her head. It was my turn to look shocked.

"'Scuse you?" I squeaked. She cast me a smug grin.

"We can get you blood. Buttonburg raises hens by the score, and there are wild wolves in Trotsylvania we could pay to have captured," she brushed her shoulder with a hoof before leveling a critical stare. "If that's really the most you expect in return, that's pretty cheap, I'd say."

"I thought he was going to ask for a virgin sacrifice every month!" The Mayor of Patches cried before laughing.

"Same! Thank the Maker.." The council-ram from Buttonburg added. They fell into sharing all the horrible nightmare stories they'd conjured up about me.

"Hey!" I yelled, causing them all to jump.

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?" I stood up. "You're acting like this is just some cost of doing business! I'm a vampire, damn it! I burn in the sun, I drink blood, I'm a night-lurking monster who eats people!"

"And fifty years ago, the Longhorns used blood to weave curses and death magic," Threadbare scoffed. "The only thing surprising about you is you're polite and willing to negotiate."

"We didn't get voted into our positions by being spooked easily, Mr. Harlow," Buttonburg said with a smile. "We can assess the costs and risks of these things. And unlike most Sheep, we know of the dangers associated with something like you."

"Are you going maul anyone if we keep you fed?" Threadbare asked.

"No?"

"Good enough! We've got borders to defend!" At that declaration, I looked to Briefs, who wore a meager but very self-satisfied smile, at me. I sank into my seat.

"Now, I want to put your hold on those dogs to the test," Threadbare began. Her council-ewe pulled some papers from her bag and placed them on the table. "I have a shipment for the Trotsylanian tradepost on hold since we discovered the curse was vanishing. If your dogs can safeguard it, you'll have my endorsement."

The other delegates looked over the documents before they finally arrived at me. I skimmed them briefly before passing them on. It was general mumbo jumbo about expected returns, dates, and the names of those involved.

"Sure," I huffed. The delegates exchanged a few more words before Briefs stood and addressed me.

"This has been very productive! Thank you for attending, Mr. Harlow. You can retire for the evening."
I stared vacantly at him before waving to the table and leaving the room.

---

"I drink blood, ooooh!" Lace of Threadbare mocked once the door shut. "Honestly! You did tell him about the Longhorns?"

"It came up," Briefs confirmed, signing his name before sliding the treaty over. "Of course, I might've failed to mention what they kept in the mountain to throw at Celestia."

"Good! He's very amusing, but we should keep that from him," Cap from Buttonburg added his signature. "He's just as likely to spread the word of what else happened fifty years ago."

"Can't have that, not after we worked so hard to keep it under wraps," Lace agreed.

"Take heart, lambs and rams!" Briefs declared, producing the unfinished wine from the previous night. "We now have a fall ram, in the event our former benefactor should take exception to our plans."

"Hear, hear!"

---

I leaned against the closet door, bewildered by what I'd just experienced. I went in expecting screams and insults, but they were the ones who seemed insulted. My gut told me something was amiss, but I was almost light-headed from everything, and before I could stop and collect my thoughts, something bit my hand.

Looking down, I saw Quilt staring up at me.

"I think it went pretty well," she said with a smile. I sighed and pushed off the wall.

We walked to Briefs' office and locked the door. I sat on the desk while Quilt got comfortable in one of the chairs. Silence reigned for a few minutes.

"Nice to finally meet you," she finally said sweetly.

"Save it. What are you, and what do you want?" I demanded. She flinched.

"What do I want?"

"You planning to blackmail me? Cause I think the Mayor has my back." She looked dazed and shook her head before fixing me with an incredulous glare.

"What?" I asked. Her jaw dropped.

"Do you not even know?" I shrugged, and she stammered before standing up. "I used my bell to call you to save the village and let you feed on me to seal the contract. I'm bound to you now!" Bitch, you what?

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah huh! That's how demons and demonic undead work! Like nosferatu," she snarled this last point at me, and I swear her eyes lit up.

I felt fear for the first time at one of these fluffy things.

"Sorry, I didn't know," I threw my hands up, leaning far back from the vicious creature. She glared for a hard minute, and her breathing came out in little growls.

"What kind of tartarus-spawn are you?"

"I'm not? I was human before I was a vampire," I explained. She blanched.

"The heck's a human?"

"What I used to be?" was the wrong response.

"Shut up!" She snarled, and her eyes flashed red. This time, at least, she paced away from me. "This doesn't make any sense! Negative energy lifeforms come from Tartarus. By their very nature, they comprehend the intent of the spell that conjures them. Did I get the ritual wrong?!"

She fell into a string of words I couldn't understand but which sounded very learned in what I assumed was magic. Phrases like 'thaumic mind directing' and 'hematomantic soul binding' were thrown around, but only made her angrier. She finally rolled onto the ground and let out a hiss before going still.

"I need a flipping drink," she groaned. Quiet again held sway over the room.

"Well, I'm the Prince of Woollachia or something, so I think I can make that happen," I offered, hoping to soothe the seething ewe. She looked up at me with disdain before smiling angrily.

"Sure."

Comments

[Scottish-Otter]

I do hope you also start introducing the vampire strengths and the like, not just the weaknesses.

[rikithemonk]

I just caught up and I have to say that I stand by my original opinion. This is not only written by an adult, this is very well done. The characters are well thought out. The dialog is well written and realistic. I have to say that this doesn't feel like a first time writer. I believe that Gormless Wheaton will be a welcome addition to our Author base.

Monk
"Anon had never known a bat pony to shy away from carnage. They were cuter than kittens, and much more bloodthirsty." -HeideKnight

[Gormless Wheaton]

11760798
Damn, make a guy feel all warm and fuzzy why don't you.

Thanks a million for the kind words.

Apologies for the line breaks, I didn't put that much thought in to them since I didn't think this would be seen by too many people. I'll patch those up, and splice in some dialogue from a later scene to thin the cheese.

[Gormless Wheaton]

11760597
It's coming very soon, but Peter being Peter means the focus had to be on the negatives, the things that could kill him. So a natural way to introduce more strengths hadn't presented itself yet.

But for clarity's sake and for anyone interested in keeping score.

What Peter knows for certain

1. He is stronger than any mortal
2. He cannot be harmed by mundane tools
3. He can heal from injury at the cost of blood
4. He can see and hear better than most mortals, especially at night
5. He becomes a ghost when he sleeps
6. Daylight hours compel him to sleep
7. He must be invited before entering a residence
8. He can't stand garlic
9. Sunlight burns him
10. Ashwood can harm him

Everything else is guess work on his part.

[Redstargazer]

11760597
As an addition to this, maybe author could check out movie 'Renfield' or at least plot summary if they aren't fond of movies overly filled with gore and swearing. Along with Nicolas Cages quirky touch, the movie did a good job introducing a belalagosi style Dracula to modern audiences while showing just how scary the classic abilities and skills are with modern effects. Not to mention interesting twist on Renfield familiar powers and relationship. BTW, is Gaggle's introduction a sort of segway into a pun with Renfield? Maybe Rin tin tinfield?

...or maybe that's just making me look like an aging nerd.

[Gormless Wheaton]

11761118
Rin tin tinfield is nuts man, god damn.

I've seen that film though, and while it has some inspiration for things later on, no Graggle's the Gnarl to Peter's Overlord.

The Renfield comes later.

[Poparakelis]

"What do you mean 'what'?" I stood up. "You're acting like this is just some cost of doing business! I'm a vampire, damn it! I burn in the sun, I drink blood, I'm a night-lurking monster who eats people!"

No idea why he's overreacting really

[Demonic Lemon]

11761275
It's not every day where you turn into a unholy demon