He's a Vampire

by Gormless Wheaton

Fiend at the Festival

---

Time ticked on, and the date of the Friendship Festival was drawing near. I hadn't had time to consider planning to attend, unfortunately.

Trade was booming, and tax revenue was cycling in despite my protests which Graggle ignored. Using that and the still substantial treasure horde, every dog in Woollachia and staffer in the castle was now on a proper payroll, the roads were repaired, and public opinion was very high, at least among the common sheep.

Once I'd gotten the word out that Celestia and I were on good terms Lace and Cap didn't fully believe me and raised all sorts of complaints and accusations. Lace had even asserted the princess was lying to me, at which point I had her escorted from the castle.

After a brief talk with Briefs on my behalf, though, they were more cordial.

In any case, affairs of state flowed in, and I made choices that truly began to shape Woollachia, notably selecting ambassadors from the four villages, a senior ambassador from the population in general, and approving a design for the country's flag.

Knit, one of the rams in the castle, came up with a real banger: A sheep's head in profile wreathed by bat wings on a red plane.

While I'd written Celestia a few times just to write, I'd also hit her up for advice on many of the issues laid at my feet. Her wisdom showed, but so did her eagerness to tease me about critical problems.

For every

"Experience is found not only in age but in weathering. The wheel that has sat for a year is not necessarily as strong as one that has been in motion for half that time,"

there was a follow-up along the lines of

"So pick the candidate who can hula-hoop the best! That would be the most fun and would certainly put whoever they are ambassadors to at ease. I would also appreciate it if the ambassador to Equestria had extra fluffy wool and wore a top hat."

Despite that, however, her input had definitely helped, and she repeatedly told me how pleased she was that I trusted her enough to ask, let alone my willingness to write her at all.

But she wasn't the only one I'd talked to.

---

"That's.. Wow," Quilt whispered from where she lay, hugged into my side. I stared at the ceiling from the bed, gently stroking her wool. Celestia had only left a few hours ago, and the sun was rising, so I bid a good evening to everyone and retired with Quilt.

When we were alone, I told her everything. It felt right.

She was surprisingly receptive. No insults or jeers came my way, only a sympathetic ear.

I managed to recount everything I'd remembered. Martin, Mom, Will, and everything Celestia told me about the mountains. I even managed to hold it together while doing so.

Quilt sat up and looked me in the eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Thank you for sitting and listening." I gently scratched her ear. She let that go on for a minute before looking at me again.

"I.. I kind of get it," she whispered as I withdrew my hand.

"How so?" She laid back down, head in my chest.

"Mama and Papa died when I was little, and Grandpa.. seven years ago." I hugged her close. She buried her face in my shirt. "I.. I had Cozy though.." She sat up and looked at me with watery eyes.

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you."

I shook my head, now fighting off the day-hour drowsiness.

"You've been a treat. A spicy, snippy little treat, but I wouldn't change you for anything." I scratched her back. "Love you, buddy."

Silence held as I slowly slipped from my body. Looking down, I saw her staring at my sleeping body. Her ears snapped back, and she looked up at me.

"..Gross." She said with a weak grin. I smiled back.

---

After that day, things had carried on mostly the same. We met to discuss and work on improvements on my powers of sorcery and as a vampire. She kept the attitude but was more open to praising my accomplishments.

I never thought much about it, but that single change made a world of difference.

As for results, I could turn into mist for hours and finally do the funny move: turn into a bat. Multiple bats, we found out. An absolute swarm. Her being more supportive made it easier for me to keep the mental image of what I wanted to turn into, making the shape change way easier.

The real kicker was she'd explained that while turned into an animal or mist, I wasn't susceptible to dying in the sun. I couldn't turn back while in sunlight, but it at least meant I had a rapid defense if caught in the open.

My magic had improved as well. I could levitate entire groups of sheep and dogs, and that gave me the mental framework necessary to finally fly. The other spells we'd cracked into were conjuring fire from my hands, small illusions, and short-range teleportation.

While Graggle had given me an earful after nearly starting a fire with the curtains and threatened to have Cozy ward the treasure room when I magicked up some fake coins while he was counting, nobody complained about my new ability to pop in and out of thin air. As far as I knew anway, cause I always teleported away before they had the chance.

Instead, I learned reservation with teleportation when I accidentally popped in on Frill while trying to spook her as a joke and discovered she'd just left the bath. That was the second time I'd heard her get angry.

But that harrowing, shameful experience, which I'm still apologizing for aside, things were going well.

There was only one problem.

Cozy.

She'd reined in her attempts on my life per Celestia's request, but she still gave me a wide berth.

If she hated me, I could live with it. But it was tearing Quilt in two.

Even something as simple as me coming to say 'hi' while they were in the dining room would lead to Cozy scampering off until I made myself scarce. Quilt never said anything, but she didn't have to.

It was written all over her face when she and I were left alone, as she mumbled her words and stared off in the direction her friend had run.

Something had to give.

---

"Quilt, you decent?" I called, knocking on her door. "I mean it this time. I don't want a repeat of what I did to Frill."

Just beyond, I heard scrambling before the door flew open. I briefly saw Cozy zip out before she vanished around a corner. I saw Quilt sitting on her sofa with her head hanging.

"That getting old yet?" I asked as I walked in and shut the door.

"Scruff yourself," she muttered sadly, laying flat and burying her face in her hooves. I sat beside her on the sofa, but she didn't react. "I don't feel like tutoring right now."

"Not why I'm here," she looked up at me with her face still half-buried. "You need to tell her."

"No."

"Why not?" She snapped to her hooves.

"What the heck am I supposed to say? 'Hey, Cozy! I'm a witch! I helped wake up the vampire you hate so much! Teehee!'" She flashed me a fake smile that quickly melted into a scowl.

"It's better than letting her go for a month thinking you're in danger. Celestia might've told her I'm cool, but you really think she buys that?" I shook my head and sighed. "Wouldn't surprise me if she and Sunbeam were trading reports or something about me and Celestia." Quilt hopped off the sofa and paced the floor, kicking over the chair I usually sat in.

"You think I don't feel horrible? You think I really like knowing that my best friend has to run and hide every time you show up?" She sat and clenched her teeth, tears bubbling at the corners of her eyes. "And knowing it's because of me?" I leaned forward, and she looked up at me.

"I know that's how you're feeling. And that's why you need to tell her the truth," I said quietly.

"I literally just said I don't want to lose her, and you're asking me to chase her off."

"I resent that," I growled, my tone way harsher than intended. It at least caught her attention as she stared wide-eyed at me. "I don't want you to chase her off. I don't want you to make the same mistake I did."

An angry silence hung over us until I sighed and reclined in my seat, staring at the ceiling. I heard the sofa squeak slightly as she climbed back on.

I could feel her looking at me expectantly, so I elaborated.

"My little brother took our dad's death pretty hard. He went from outgoing and all that to a total shut-in. Couldn't hold down a job due to being too depressed," I explained, folding my hands on my stomach and sliding my legs out under the table.

"Mom always called me to ask me to come visit, to talk with him," I winced. "But I never did. I didn't know what to say, and I figured if I put it off for long enough, I'd figure the words out eventually." I clenched my eyes shut before looking down at her.

"I got angry even. Why should it be my responsibility to pep talk Will?" I opened and held out my hands slightly. "Dad dying hit me too. Where was my pep talk?" I clapped my hands back together over my chest and stared forward.

"Looking back, I think that was something the princess told me about. Holding on to something for too long turns it to resentment." In the corner of my eye, I saw Quilt's ear twitch at those words. I got lost in memory for a hard minute before continuing.

"When I was finally faced with a time limit," I looked at my hands, remembering the struggle for my phone. "By the time I really decided I didn't want to lose my brother, I lost him forever. Because I put it off."

I leaned forward and rested on my knees.

"Don't wait, buddy. Don't be like me."

---

Quilt winced at the smell of garlic emanating from behind Cozy's door. Coughing gently, she knocked on the door.

"Just a sec!" A clattering noise rang out after Cozy's call before the door opened.

"Okay! You can come in now," Cozy said cheerily. Quilt looked around, noticing the garlic braids Cozy'd told her about were now secured against the ceiling rather than hanging free, and there was a huge salt circle in the center of the room. Cozy sat patiently in the circle with a warm smile.

Quilt blinked but smiled back and stepped inside, turning to close the door behind her. Facing her friend again, she flinched upon seeing Cozy an inch from her, looking her up and down and parting her wool with a hoof.

"No bite marks or red wool.. hmm," Cozy muttered, nodding slowly. "He's good. He must know I'm writing Sunbeam, even though I've been using salt to ward his Scrying Eye." Quilt's eye twitched, but she shook her head and sat in the circle with Cozy.

"So what's up?" Cozy asked. Quilt shuffled her hooves, avoiding her friend's eyes.

"H-how you been?" Cozy raised an eyebrow at the question.

"Uhm.. I'm okay? We talked a little bit ago, before," she scowled and snarled. "He butt in. What'd he want anyway?"

"Just to talk."

"Uh-huh! So he was prying to see if I shared any of my plans with you, huh?" Cozy accused, pacing the floor in the circle. Quilt clenched her teeth but stood up and faced Cozy.

"No. He wanted to talk about us. Me and you," she said. Cozy stopped and studied her friend's face before slowly sitting down.

"What do you mean?" She asked with a furrowed brow. Quilt stammered and muttered before looking Cozy in the eyes.

"I've.. got something to show you," she said, stepping out of the salt circle. Cozy was about to protest until Quilt jingled her bell. Except for the space in the salt circle, the room warped and shimmered until it changed from one of the castle's bedrooms to Quilt's old living room in Ruffleton. Quilt also changed as her wool bristled and went stiff in places, and her eyes grew tired.

"Wha-" Cozy gawped at the sight before Quilt let a breath out, and the image faded. Quilt sat on the floor and looked at Cozy sadly.

"Ta-da?" She muttered.

"What was that?" Cozy whispered looking all around. Quilt lay on the floor, tucking her legs in close.

"Magic." Cozy whipped around to her friend upon hearing that.

"You're a witch?" Cozy asked with wonder. Quilt twitched and mumbled.

"Yeah.."

"Like you can do spells and stuff?" Cozy asked.

"Not really spells, just illusions and rituals," Quilt muttered.

"That's amazing!" Cozy declared, drawing even closer to the shock of Quilt. "How long has this been a thing?" Quilt stared in disbelief.

"Since I was thirteen. That was when Grandpa said I'd finished training." Cozy gasped.

"Grandpa Gruff taught you all that?!" Quilt nodded solemnly. "Wowie! I had no idea!" Cozy's expression dropped. She stared at the floor, working through her thoughts.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She finally asked, flinching when she looked and saw Quilt's wide, terrified eyes.

"I-" She could do this.

"I didn't want-" She had to.

"You're all I've had-"

"Don't wait, buddy. Don't be like me."

"I don't wanna lose you!" She screamed, hurling herself into Cozy, dragging her to the floor in a tight hug as she howled tears into her wool. Cozy tried to speak but was too stunned to find any words.

"When Grandpa died, you were the only one I had! The only one I could cry with! The only one who'd sit up with me at night!" She wailed between shuddering breaths. "If I lose you.. I-" She fell into deeper sobs, nearly crushing Cozy in her grip as she buried her face deeper.

Cozy managed to slip her forelegs free and wrapped them around Quilt, who relaxed her grip but sobbed regardless. The clock on her wall ticked on for minutes before Quilt's cries tapered off, and she began breathing quietly.

"Please.. I need you," she finally whispered. "Don't leave me all alone."

"Why would I do that?" Cozy asked. Quilt bristled and looked up at her friend's smiling face. She smiled back and nuzzled Cozy again.

"I love you, Cozy," Quilt whispered.

"Love you too, Quili-lily!" Cozy replied, hugging her tightly. Quilt giggled as they broke their embrace and sat up.

"So, you're not scared of the magic?" Quilt asked with a careful smile.

"No? Why would I be? I trust you," Cozy replied. Quilt hummed to herself.

"Well.. It's the same stuff the Longhorns got up to, and everywooly knows they were bad," she explained, firmly at first but then softly.

"Yeah, but you're Quilt! And your Grandpa was Grandpa Gruff! Neither of those're Longhorns, and they're definitely not bad!" Quilt's smile brightened at her friend's words. "The only problem I've had is with Peter." Quilt blanched and bit her lip.

"He.. He's not what you think, Cozy," she said quietly.

"Wha'dya mean? He mauled you in the cave!" Cozy said sternly.

"I.. Kind of made that happen."

"What?" Cozy said with a breath.

"It- It's part of the ritual I was doing to save the village."

"He.. You're.. Wh-huh?" Cozy huffed, falling on her haunches.

"He doesn't hurt me, Cozy," Quilt said, shuffling her hooves. "I've been helping him learn magic 'n stuff. To keep us safe."

Silence fell upon the room, broken only by the steady ticking of the clock and, eventually, Cozy as she spoke.

"I.. You.. Was this all a joke to you?" She said in disbelief. Quilt's gasped in horror.

"What? No!"

"Why didn't you say anything?! You just let me go on thinking you've been in danger this whole time?" Cozy screamed. "I've been worried sick! It may not seem like it, but I've barely slept since coming to this mother-scruffing castle!" Quilt wilted under her friend's angry sight.

"I've stayed up till all hours making plans and coming up with tools to get him off you, all the while feeling like I was letting you down thinking about what he was doing to you!" Cozy ranted, pacing the floor before stopping in front of her pile of vampire-killing tools, facing away from Quilt. "You just.. let me?"

The clock ticked on.

"I need some time alone, Quilt."

"I'm so sorry.."

---

The stars hadn't changed at all. Even from the balcony of Castle Ramstead, they looked just as bright and wonderful as they did when she first showed them to Cozy as lambs.

Except now, she gazed alone.

Or so she thought.

The door to the balcony opened, and the odor of hot garlic wafted out on the night breeze.

"Hey, Quilt," Cozy said.

"Hey, Cozy," Quilt replied. Cozy came beside where she lay and set down a plate of garlic bread that steamed heavily in the cool night air. Quilt looked up at Cozy.

"It's traditional vampire slayer food. I got pretty good at it!" Cozy proudly declared, offering a slice to Quilt. She smiled and took a bite.

"I can tell.." She mumbled with her mouth full. Cozy sat down next to Quilt as they shared the plate and stargazed. When the plate was clean, only the gentle noise of crickets filled the air.

"I'm sorry, Cozy."

"I forgive you," Cozy declared. "On one condition." Quilt looked at her friend and met her sad smile.

"No more secrets," Cozy begged. "Please?" Quilt slid the plate out of the way and hugged her friend.

"No more secrets," she declared. Cozy hugged her back, and the two sat stargazing together.

Until Quilt twitched and rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Peter, you can come out!" Quilt yelled aloud.

---

I'd only asked if they were cool when Quilt called me out.

Slowly, carefully, I stepped out onto the balcony and to the side of the two ewes, where I sat down. Quilt wore a sad smile, but Cozy still frowned at me.

"So," I began, drumming my fingers on the floor. "Are you two okay?"

Cozy blinked, and her frown faded. She and Quilt shared a look before turning back to me.

"Yeah, we're okay now," Cozy declared. She began studying me closely. "Which I think.. means you and I are okay too." I gawped in response.

"Really?"

"Really, really," she confirmed, slowly leveling a smile my way. I smiled back and sighed at the moon.

"Well, what do you know?" I said with a sweeping gesture across the balcony. "We got our own Friendship Festival right here!"

Cozy and Quilt shared a look before laughing.

"We got a dopey clown even!" Quilt said, nudging my leg, causing Cozy to laugh harder.

"Yep! And a petting zoo of rare and mentally unstable animals!" I retorted, ruffling her head wool. She growled and bit my hand. "Ha-ha! That does not even-"

I stopped my Lugosi impression dead, humming in consideration of the sparks of pain coiling up my arm. Quilt latched on firmly, and Cozy looked with curiosity.

"Oh!" She suddenly gasped. "The garlic bread!"

"Hr hrari hrea!" Quilt agreed, with her mouth still clamped.

"The garlic bread," I affirmed, nodding sagely.

Then I howled.

---

8:57 am

Canterlot City, Canterlot

---

A flash of light lit the room briefly as Twilight and company suddenly popped into existence before collapsing into a pile and catching their breath. Thanks to Twilight's hasty teleport, they'd narrowly avoided the hornless unicorn and her cohorts leading the Storm King's attack on Canterlot, who'd turned Celestia, Luna, and Cadance to stone with a strange set of magic balls.

Twilight rose to her hooves and looked at where she'd whisked them off to. Racks and trays of freshly shaped dough lined the room filling it with a sweet aroma. It wasn't very comforting, considering they could still hear the screaming through the walls.

"Is this Donut Joe's?" Spike asked, catching his breath.

"I think so. I panicked." Twilight explained, ignoring her coat bristling and twitching.

"What do we do?" Fluttershy whimpered.

"Celestia-" Twilight's voice hitched, and she winced. "Celestia was telling Luna to go south. Something about the hippo-somethings?"

"What about Peter?" Pinkie piped up. The rest hummed in consideration before Twilight shook her head.

"Maybe, but so long as the sun's up, he won't be able to go outside," Twilight sadly declared. "And that cloud cover they made is only over Canterlot."

"Hey, uh, speaking of Peter.." Rainbow began. The others knew what she was about to ask and grimaced in anticipation. "Was that-"

The wall of the room exploded inwards, nearly burying Applejack and Rarity as donut racks were hurled with the debris. Twilight threw up a shield against the worst of it, and as the smoke cleared, they saw the source, compelling her to leave the shield up.

No explosive or spell had been used; He'd simply walked right through.

From his vice-like maw, the limp body of poor Captain Line Holder fell with a squelch.

"Well, hello everypony!" Came his call in that throaty, almost choked-up voice, spatters of blood flying freely from his teeth

His skin was pale and crisscrossed with old scars from poorly sutured lacerations around strange tattoos, topped with a mass of unruly black hair. He had a metal plate bearing the Storm King's mark stitched onto his bare chest, for he only wore pants held by suspenders, a high-collared long coat, and heavy black boots. Said boots hit the ground with a rhythmic thud as he approached.

"You ladies come here often?" The human-vampire leered horribly at them with yellow eyes and a smile full of fangs.

---

END OF ACT 2

---

Author's Note:

Comments

[Ace98]

Then I howled.

I immediately thought of the Tom yell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqjJgIZr5ls&ab_channel=DasonRZ
Because of the delay, you know?

[Brony of the Revolution]

11768283
I was thinking the exact same thing lol

[Destiny Chaser]

Didn't see that one coming, very nice.

she repeatedly told me how pleased she was that I trusted her enough to ask, let alone my willingness to write her at all.

This is what a real counselor will do, a good one anyway. I am impressed.

[Draco Dei]

the roads were repaired

In only a month?