Double Residency

by marmalado

School Spirit

Arriving in classroom 1B for Odd Sciences, Pinkie was quick to note at how the room looked similar to that of a college, just like the building itself.

She was also quick to note how completely apathetic the Professor O teaching the class was. His half-lidded eyes, his droning monotonic voice, and the way he would mutter something about low salaries were all clear indicators that he really needed some cheering-up.

And with that, she had her first customer.

She tried to pose as an enthusiastic student who was eager to learn. She absorbed everything she could about Odd Squad, asked questions, and received weird looks from other students. That last one she didn't mind so much, though. Her main focus was befriending Professor O.

Hammerspace 101 was an interesting class. If not because it was one of the ones she excelled in, then because the Professor O leading that class took a shining interest to her for whatever reason. She was more perky, which delighted Pinkie but unnerved everyone else.

After only two weeks, Pinkie imagined she was getting top marks in every class, something that wasn't a reality when she attended school back in Ponyville. But top marks were good, because it meant she could explore more of what Odd Squad was about. It felt like every day brought new knowledge, and at one point, she had asked one of the students she had made friends with, Omity, just how much there was to learn.

The answer rattled in her brain for a while: "So much, your mind will explode. Not literally, though."

And the more she thought about it, the more excited she got.

She had to restrain herself from asking too many times when graduation was, because she had a feeling it would set her back. Not to mention all she got for an answer was "soon". Soon when? There was far more to explore than the Academy. And it wasn't like she could go and join up with a precinct herself. There was a standard procedure that had to be followed.

So she continued to excel, walking on the road to studiosity and becoming one of the up-and-coming agents that showed the most promise while also continuing to let her happiness become infectious to everyone she passed. She made sure to go beyond a simple smile and wave, and discovered new interests that she had never even heard of, like blob-tossing and curling.

There was one downside, though, and that was her lack of progress in cheering up Professor O. No matter what she tried, he still had the same gloomy look on his face. Even when his birthday rolled around, he didn't so much as host a party. As far as Pinkie knew, no one even gave him presents.

Right then and there, she made a Pinkie Promise to pull him aside and make him smile, or as Celestia was her witness, she wasn't going to graduate. Because if she couldn't make him smile, what hope did she have of making agents at her future precinct smile?

It was a week after his birthday. Pinkie made her way into the Science building of the Academy campus, finding him chatting with a sandy-haired boy wearing glasses and a labcoat.

"Professor O, Professor O!" She frantically waved. "Happy birthday!"

The boy gave Pinkie a confused look, which he aimed right at Professor O soon after. "It's your birthday today?"

"Last week."

"Oh, happy belated birthday! Bet it was a good one, heh."

Professor O didn't get a chance to respond, as Pinkie grabbed his arm and bounced up and down.

"Hey..." The boy pointed. "You're Olympia, right?"

Pinkie turned. "Yup! Who're you?"

"Oscar. President of the Scientists." The boy stuck out his hand. "I'm surprised we haven't met yet. Though, I think you've only been here for...what, a few weeks?"

Pinkie gladly accepted the handshake, though her excitement caused her to be rather rough, making Oscar stumble a little. "Yeah! The Academy's really fun. I bet I'm doing amazing! Ooh, ooh, can you tell me what my grades are? Oh, wait, I bet you can't. You're not the principal of the Academy."

"Nope. You'll get your grades in November." Oscar said. "We go by three-month quarters here."

Pinkie's expression fell. "Oh." And then, just as quickly, it brightened. "Well that's okay! All I really want is to cheer up Professor O."

A heavy sigh of annoyance was her response, though she was too absorbed in running through other potential plans to notice.

"Good luck with that." Oscar smirked. "He's always been like this. If you can make him happy aga-"

The sound of something exploding could be heard from behind a set of doors just behind the front desk, and Oscar proceeded to scream at a pitch that could best be described by Pinkie as "Scootaloo if she faked the sound of screaming". Professor O, on the contrary, remained stoic, merely turning his head to look.

A minute later, a duo of Scientists stumbled out, wearing the same clothes Pinkie was. Blue goo was all over their clothes, from their sweatshirts to their shoes. Pinkie could even see some in their hair.

"What..." Oscar blinked. "...did you..."

The first Scientist, with his hair sticking up like spikes, coughed. "S-sorry, Oscar." he muttered, wiping his cheek free of goo. "We were experimenting with blobs and Oisio decided to add bran flakes to the mixture..."

"Which are explosive."

They glanced at Professor O, their eyes widening. "Yeah."

Professor O's eyes somehow turned more half-lidded than usual. "Tell me again how this place hasn't burned down to the ground yet."

"It was made from materials specifically designed to be explosion-resistant, heh."

"Weeeeell..." Pinkie rocked back and forth on her feet, a sly smile making its way across her face. "I have good news for you, Professor O! And you, and you, and you, and you, and all of you!"

"Oh no..."

"Just hear her out." Oscar advised. "I'm sure that whatever Olympia has planned isn't that bad."

Pinkie grabbed ahold of the Scientist's arm and jerked it towards her, making his body dip down just low enough for her to whisper into his ear. His pupils shrunk as he glanced at Professor O, then back at Pinkie.

"You...really?"

"Yeah!"

"For him?"

"Yeah!"

"...Are you absolutely sure?"

"Aww, Oscar, don't worry! I have experience in this kind of stuff! I was known as a bit of a party animal, if ya know what I mean..." Pinkie nudged him. "But I'm not graduating until I make Professor O smile!"

Professor O did a double-take, not that Pinkie noticed it.

"See, I live for making other po- people happy." Pinkie mentally slapped herself for her near-slipup. "But no matter what I do, I just can't seem to make Professor O do anything other than frown! I mean, that has to be so sad! And it doesn't reflect well on my classmates." She crossed her arms. "Smiling is good, and I want him to realize that!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Oscar could spot Professor O with his face buried into his hands. "Uh...well, that's great, heh! Just...excuse me for a moment."

Pinkie watched as Oscar slid over to Professor O. The boys turned their backs to her, and she tried to lean in as close as she could to figure out what they were saying without being accused of eavesdropping. If the secret was being spilled, she would never forgive Oscar, though in that moment, she regretted not forcing him to make a Pinkie Promise so it wouldn't come off as sheer pettiness.

...Actually, maybe she needed a new name for those. One would compromise her true identity. The other didn't roll off the tongue so well.

After a couple minutes, Oscar and Professor O broke free and turned back to Pinkie. "Sorry about that, heh. I have some, uh...work to do. But best of luck with your little...thing!"

It was clear to Pinkie now that maybe Oscar wasn't the best at social skills. Still, she gave her goodbyes and watched as he left.

"Final class of the day is about to start. Let's go." Professor O said, walking by her on his way out.

Pinkie glanced back at the doors that Oscar had gone through for a brief moment before she excitedly followed her teacher.

---

The months began to fly by so fast that Pinkie wouldn't have even been surprised if time travel were involved. She excelled in her classes as usual -- and boy, did her all-O's report cards reflect that -- but making Professor O smile was becoming more and more of a fruitless endeavor. If anything, he was seemingly becoming more and more annoyed by her presence, going so far as to try and single her out and then exclude her from lessons when singling her out only served to motivate her.

And that was to say nothing of the ponies back in Ponyville. Pinkie was forced to write a letter and place it where the Cakes could find it, tricking them into thinking she was going to still be a long while but would come home safe. It hurt to lie to them, especially for as long as she had been, but the more she got used to going to the new world, the more she committed to the bit.

By the time she was close to giving up on her mission, June was just getting started. She had long since learned that she was on the fast track to graduating by the summer, though she didn't get many details beyond that. Well, that, and something about Professor O wanting her out of the Academy as soon as possible.

The Big O himself having spoken to her about her behavior several months before only seemed to enforce this theory. He was...smaller than she had expected. He couldn't count higher than five, still played with toys, and spoke in a voice that was to be expected in five-year-olds, yet he ran the entirety of Odd Squad. It felt weird to obey him, but Pinkie obliged, pretending that she was obeying the whims of a young party guest to take some of the awkwardness out of it.

As Odd Diseases and Disorders concluded for the day, Pinkie received a notice that she was to be seen after class. Since she was the one who often went to Professor O, her mind went on high alert. Did she overstep her boundaries again? Was she getting another warning?

"Remind me again. You're on track to be an agent in the...Investigation department, by summer's end, right?"

"Yeah! I've been counting down the seconds, too! Though I don't know exactly when I'm gonna graduate 'cause I never really got a specific day-" Pinkie paused. "Oooooh, is that a smile I see?"

If Professor O did smile, it was lost in the quick reversion to a frown. "Well, I have bad news. I just got word from the Big O that it's not happening because-"

"WHAT?!" Pinkie stopped in her tracks, staring at Professor O with her mouth wide open and letting her books slip in the grip of her arms. Seeing that he wasn't going to stop and look back at her caused her to hastily run after him, adjusting her purple glasses. "B-but I'm such a good student! All my friends talk about my good grades! I-I help them study, and I always make sure they're happy in school! Why wouldn't I graduate?!"

Professor O gave an irritated sigh. "It's not happening..." He paused to fight the trembling of his lips and his voice. "...because he and I are letting you graduate right now."

With incredible comedic timing, the books fell to the floor, accompanying their owner's jaw-dropping reaction. It wasn't often that Pinkie was rendered speechless, but to graduate as early as June when the meteorological summer hadn't even started yet was news that shook her to her very core.

"Jeez, if it would've made you be quiet, I would've broken the news sooner." came Professor O's despondent mutter, but it went completely unheard of by Pinkie, who furiously shook her head to snap herself out of her shock.

"But...hold on, tell me more! Where am I going? Who'm I gonna be partnered with? Is it someone I know? Oh, please please pleeeeeeease let it be one of my friends!"

"Precinct 13579. The Director there has a couple spots open following the departure of two of her best agents, Olive and Otto. As for who you're gonna be partnered with, she declined to tell me."

"Is it a colt or a filly?"

"...Huh."

"Oop!" Pinkie covered her mouth. "I mean, is it a boy or a girl?"

"Just...follow me. I have something to show you."

Pinkie picked up her books and rushed after him, her heart racing in excitement. Thoughts of not seeing her friends again and memories of the many fun times she had at the Academy sat in the back of her mind, but first and foremost was seeing what her teacher had in store for her.

What met her vision was a sight that was truly incredible to behold. Sitting on a table covered with a red tablecloth was a large cake with eleven candles stuck into it and arranged neatly. Her friends made up a majority of the other guests, all giving her a grandiose round of applause and their well wishes. It didn't take long to deduce that this was a party.

No, correction -- a party for her.

She desperately tried to restrain herself from going crazy, but ultimately failed, rushing to each and every party guest and giving them her thanks. What was more, in the midst of Professor O giving his own congratulations, she saw him crack a smile. A small smile, but it was a smile all the same that marked the end of her mission. She could now graduate with satisfaction, knowing that she had made what had to be the grumpiest teacher of the entire Academy turn his frown upside down.

And with her mission complete, she could spice up her own party, for herself and all of the guests involved. Long had she boasted about her party-planning skills. Now she had a chance to show them off. It even earned her a fun new nickname, "The Celebration Master". It wasn't the most unique of nicknames, but it certainly stuck with her, all the way until she was gifted her graduation certificate and shunted up the tubes to her new workplace.

If one had exceptional hearing and put their ear to the ground, they might have been able to hear a long scream of elation.