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Time Out

A short story about Doctor Whooves, Derpy and associated characters.

The Doctor needs the assistance from a mysterious mage from the future to fix a problem in the past.

No pre-reading required, though I do use some parts of the "canon" of my other stories, in which it fits.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 3 )

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Chessie

Chessie #1 · Oct 2nd, 2012 · · ·

I want to be okay with this but 'short story' goes poorly with Doctor Whooves. It starts with an info dump and the author's head-canon. It doesn't really have much by way of characterization and it's too short to develop the world much.

Sorry mate, go back, try it again.

-Chessie

DutchGentleman

DutchGentleman #2 · Oct 7th, 2012 · · ·

1373932

Thanks for the feedback. I don't think I'll be rewriting this one, but I will try to make the next one(s) better with the information.

Chessie

Chessie #3 · Oct 7th, 2012 · · ·

1399582 Start with characterization FIRST. Tolkien could get away with big long prologues but in pony-fiction and especially short stories you wanna dive right into things happening quick as you can.

-Chessie