Sweet Dreams Are made of ...

by Scriblits Talo

Profile

Muffin Received. I returned to my newspaper, anonymity a must. I glanced over the top of it, Lyra was greening across from me.

“What?” I asked… but I knew the answer. She was on to me.

“What's with the muffin?” She queried.

I leaned in real close to her and whispered "I figure its about time we plan a party”
As I walked away I casually glanced back and sure enough Lyra followed.-Redacted

“Why are we at Pinky's house? “

I mouthed the key into the lock.

“And why does she keep it locked?... and she gave you the key?”

I placed the key into my saddle bag and pushed open the door.

“Full of questions today aren’t you.” I glanced over my shoulder to make sure nobody was watching and then stepped in. “Pinky Pie, the party pony, is a collector of information, and she has the largest collection of character profiles in all of Equestria… as a responsible pony she keeps the information under a secure lockdown.”

“And you have the key because…. gasp, Is she a part of your organization.”

I spun on a bit, placing my hoof against Lyras mouth. “Shh… don't mention the organization. Pinky is not one of mine… She has always been a free agent… there is no predicting her, but no, no she’s not one of ours. I have the key because I am her candy supplier, I'm contracted to fill her reserves, it's given me a certain amount of access. ”

With that I tapped my other hoof against a statuette of iced-cream and a trap door opened before us revealing a worn sun yellow slide.

“After you”

“You want to know what the deal is with this muffin.” I took it out of my saddle bag and placed it on the tabletop between the two of us.

Lyra nodded.

“Ok Lyra. I need to know I can trust you and more than just as a friend. Lyra. Can I trust you?”

Again she nodded.

I turned to the filing cabinet closest to me and began flipping through files.

Lady-Gaval
Lavender-Bloom
Lavender-Fritter
Leadwing
Lilac-Links
Lily-Valley
Long-Shot
Luckette
Lucky-Clover
Lucky-Star
Lyrica-Lilac
Meadow-Song
Lighting-Bliss
Luna(Lunna)
Limestone-Pie
Lighting-Dust
Lofty
Luster-Dawn
Lily-Blossom
Larry
Lock
Longhorn

… her name wasn't there.

And then I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“Try under Heartstrings… I…I changed my name when I moved from canterlot.”

(King)Longhorn
I shook myself… “You, You startled me …Heartstrings eye? Guess I don’t know everything about you after all…”

Fair enough I supposed… Shed didn't know everything about me after all… and I would know soon enough, pinky's records where immaculate…If perhaps too extensive. Some of these ponies didn’t even exist.

I returned to my digging.

Hughbert Jellius
Hooves(Dr.)
Horse(Dr.)
Horse(Dr.)
Hondo-Flanks
Hoofington(Mrs.)
Hoofington(Mr.)
Heyseed
Heart-String(Lyra)
Harshwinny(Ms.)
Harry
Half-Baked-Apple
Haakim…

I missed it.

Haakim
Half-Baked-Apple
Harry
Harshwinny(Ms.)
Heart-String(Lyra)

There we go… I grabbed the file and dropped it on the table.

Much of the following document has been redacted for my friend’s protection.

Heart-String(Lyra)- Anthropologist

Lyra moved in to Ponyville (Date Redacted) From Canterlot in hopes of reinventing herself after
(Redacted).

• Her favorite ice cream is a Cookie Crumble Blizzard
• She likes Pink and green bloons
• She enjoys board games and music.
• She is terrified of (Redacted)

(Redacted)
(Redacted)
Lyra is an expert improviser and can be well trusted to think of something on the fly, she has inventive skill akin to that of a (Redacted)

(Redacted)

Great gift Ideas for Lyra include

• Books on (Redacted)
• (Redacted)
• Gloves
• Hairbrush
• Harp Strings

(Redacted)

(Redacted)

(Redacted)

“Cotton candy?”

Lyra squirmed in her seat a little at this.

“Its just so… Sticky”

Having completed my analysis I proceeded to sit down with Lyra and brief her on the mission.

I balanced the muffin on my hoof before her and in my other hoof I held a simple cupcake.

I began my well practiced monologue-

“Unfortunately, no one can be told what this muffin is. You have to see it for yourself. … This is your last chance Lyra. After this there is no turning back. You take the Cupcake, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the muffin, you enter Wonderland and I show you how deep the rab-”

In a sudden explosive action Lyra yanked the Muffin from my hoof and cramped it in her mouth.

…

“I..I … was supposed to eat some of that too.”