Midnight likes the simple life. To be part of the background. But when he discovers something about himself that could change the life of all Equestria, how will he handle it? Will he ignore the responsibility that's thrown at him, or will he rise to the occasion?
A re imagined version of the story I have up on MidnightFlame. It has some of the same characters, and some same plot points, but it is very different. I would put it there, but that account was unfortunately hacked and is now unretrievable. This will be a longer story, just trying to polish it. Rated Teen for some romance, seperate clop chapters will be posted on my page as independent stories. If you dont read them you won't miss any story, as they will just be certain chapters I already put up with a clop scene thrown in. Please leave as much feedback as you want, don't hold any punches, but at the same time, don't troll please. Thank you for your time.
I would post a comment on what I think about this story, but this is the most neutral I have felt on a fanfiction.
The only advice I want to give right now is on the synopsis. You go into some detail on what is going to happen, but not enough. I have heard many synopsis with the same "discovery of a secret, duty, or power" talk. I usually want to know a little more detail than that. I do not know an inkling on what to suspect so I usually pass up stories like that. I am not suprised if I am not the only that does this.
You also referenced some other story that you wrote on another account. Is that story so important and interconnected to this one that it needs to be inside the main thing that decides if a reader will read your story or not? If it does, you might as well slap down a link inside your author's notes and say how it is related. Lengthy synopsis kind of turn people off, and that part does not help.
And I say throw down a link because although we would all love it, you aren't a big-shot writer on this site that everyone knows what story you talk about. Even the big ones shouldn't do that because not everyone has read there every story.
This is just my opinion, which hopefully you may take time out of your day to read.
Critique, not hate, yada yada, kind of tired of saying this after every post because a huge group of people think there story is perfect in every way and get all defensive from some of my posts.
1367721 Thank you. No, the other story is not important. And I completely understand. I would've said more about the "responsibility," but it gives far too much away. I know the feeling of "Intriguing, but you didn't say enough to really grab my attention." I will explain, but it has to be later. Once again, thank you for your feedback. It's all appreciated