Spike makes haste into the narrowed foyer, panting and breathing heavily through his nose with many dragons flying to reach the ultimate prize within the Gauntlet of Fire; The Bloodstone Scepter. The Bloodstone Scepter is a volcanic stone with a claw-like top holding a blood-red stone gem. Spike sees where the prize is, resting upon an orange-red crystals foundation. Twilight and Rarity are disguised as boulders with two eye peepers to see where they are going.
Hours ago.
Spike was called to the Gauntlet of Fire when his body flashed when he was with Rarity, extracting gemstones within a bat-infested cave. There he went with Twilight and Rarity in their disguise; Spike met with unfortunate familiar Dragons such as Garble and his cronies, others from the Dragon Migration, and the Princess of the Dragon Lands and daughter of former Dragon Lord, Torch. Princess Ember.
Seeing Ember for the first time and how she behaved towards her father with some resentment, Spike felt awful for her. Also, he observes the elegance and beauty in Ember's sight. Though Spike has eyes on Rarity, something is telling him that he should look elsewhere, and it's in front of him.
Now, Spike is determined to win more than ever on two occasions; Saving Equestria from the Wrath of Dragons and forming a friendship with Princess Ember.
The first trial started during the pathway to Flamecano Island. Spike is the only Dragon without a pair of wings to navigate him, but he has an ace in his sleeve; Spike is a good swimmer, and judging from the other Dragons getting knocked out of the sky, he makes haste to Flamecano Island. However, one gets whiplashed by a geyser shot by a water-eel-like-dragon and drowns. Spike dives underwater and rescues the Dragon wearing concealing armor.
Spike arrives at Flamecano with the Dragon he rescued while Twilight and Rarity follow closely with seaweed, twigs, and starfish encasing them so Dragons don't bat an eye, especially, Garble. Spike hears the Dragon coughing and removes the helmet, only to see Ember. Spike is somewhat surprised and thrilled to see Ember. Ember interrogated Spike about his presence until Rarity blew her cover, remarking Ember's question with an answer. Ember unveils the disguise to see Twilight and Rarity exposed, and she gets mad about Equestrian Ponies trespassing on Dragon Land territory. Spike explained that Twilight and Rarity are his friends and came to show support. Ember specifically states that Dragons are not fond of friendship until Spike proclaims that he does and knows how to express it.
Spike proposes Ember team up when the boulders start striking Dragons in the skies. With the fear of getting injured by the mass and velocity of the boulders tossed by Dragons' tails, Ember reluctantly agrees to pair with Spike until she decides to embark solo.
Spike and Ember work diligently together, enduring grueling obstacles at Flamecano; they avoid the boulders, spiky rocks clashing like chattering teeth during a winter storm, and sharped-end crystals stabbing in different directions in the tunnel passageway leading to a chink with many entrances down below. Shockingly, Twilight and Rarity are wearing new disguises near the edge of the entryway. Spike and Ember question their ability to appear in the right place at the right time. Spike wonders if they borrowed Pinkie's power to pop next to him.
Rarity nearly falls into a pool of boiling lava when Spike makes the save from a geyser of magma. Ember is amazed that Spike willingly put himself in danger to save a pony; also, the ponies put themselves in danger to support him. That's when Spike mentions that friendship is vital to everything; friends help one another when love, care, and unity come into play. Spike asks Ember about having any friends which she rudely replies and excludes Spike from being her friend. Ember scolded Spike that there was only one winner, one Scepter, and one Dragon Lord. Ember remarks that if she was in Equestria, Spike and she would have been friends, but since they're not, Ember departs and leaves Spike behind, hurting his feelings.
Present.
"I can't believe I'm the only dragon to make it this far!" Spike shouts in excitement.
"You're not!" Garble caught up to Spike and approached him. "And I'm not losing to a puny pony-loving dragon like you!" Garble grabs Spike's head and hoists him, preparing to drop him in the chasm where pointy rocks would pierce his scales.
Rarity yelps in horror while watching the display in front of her and Twilight. "We have to do something!"
Twilight sees a blue blur coming closer. "Look!" She uses her eyes to point to the blue blur coming closer.
Ember spears Garble; the collision causes Garble to collide with Twilight and Rarity. Also, the crash released Garble's grasp; Spike closes his eyes and freefalls into the chasm, flailing his arms when Ember swoops down and catches him from impalement.
Spike opens his eyes and becomes happy to see Ember rescuing him from a possibly fatal blow. "Ember! I thought it was every Dragon for themselves!" Ember safely puts Spike down on the pathway to the Bloodstone Scepter. "Why did you save me?!"
"That's what friends do!" Ember finally admits and accepts Spike as her friend. "And I am," Ember briefly pauses when explaining her true feelings. "I mean, we are," Ember felt a little remorseful. "I never should have left you back there. Agh, please don't make me talk about my feelings!"
"What the?" Garble gets up from the impact. He sees the ponies that messed with him and wants retribution. Garble slowly walks up to Rarity and Twilight near the edge, preparing to give them a severe beating unlike any other.
Spike and Ember observe Garble's motive, and Ember decides to help Spike by sacrificing her will to win the Gauntlet of Fire.
"Spike! Get the Scepter!" Ember takes off while Spike runs for it.
Evil intent is within Garble's eyes, but his foolishness blinds him from Ember's assault to Spike's friends' defense. Ember tackles and pins Garble to the wall with all her might; however, by getting pinned, Garble sees Spike making his way to the Bloodstone Scepter. Garble matches Ember's strength momentarily and tosses her aside with adrenaline overriding his body. Garble flies directly at Spike, hoping to grab him and harm him. Ember recovers quickly and soars after Garble, grasping his tail and tugging him away from Spike.
Spike continues his path and turns after hearing a loud thumb behind him. Ember and Garble are enduring a power struggle during their fight. Spike looks at the prize and back; he attacks Garble, freeing Ember from his clutches. Garble grabs Spike and throws him away. Spike hangs on dearly while Ember and Garble lock claws in another power struggle pushing each other with all their might.
"I'm sick and tired of you two helping each other! Dragons don't do helping!" Garble frustratedly grunts while pushing Ember.
"These dragons do!" Ember proclaims and does a front flip, grabs Garble's shoulder, and maneuvers a reverse German Suplex toss. Garble gets winded by the impact.
Rarity and Twilight applaud the teamwork of Spike and Ember in defeating Garble. They overhear more Dragons arriving and put on their disguises. Ember helps Spike get up and allows him to retrieve the Bloodstone Scepter.
Spike climbs the orange-red crystals foundation and picks up the Bloodstone Scepter. He feels intense prowess within the staff as red flares seep through his body, deeming him the new Dragon Lord. Spike raises the Bloodstone Scepter, activating the power. A surge of vivid red energy bursts through Flamecano Island, quaking the chambers and concluding the Gauntlet of Fire.
Garble gets up to attempt a sneak attack when Spike sees his activity. In a booming, echoing authority, Spike said: "Leave her alone!"
"Wh-What?" Garble turns to see Spike wielding the Bloodstone Scepter. "You?! You have the scepter?! But that means that you're..."
"The Dragon Lord," Ember finishes Garble's comment. "Dragon Lord Spike," Ember corrects the term and respectfully bows. Many Dragons present follow Ember's lead in showing their new Dragon Lord grace.
Garble sees Spike and groans. He reluctantly kneels pitifully. "Dragon... Lord... Spike..."
"That's right!" Spike gets a devious idea to give Garble his just desserts. He wickedly smirks while imagining the possibility of Garble embarrassingly giving hugs to every Dragon, no matter how tough, rough, crude, and brutal they are. "Now, go start your long journey home. And give every Dragon you see on the way a hug. Don't tell them why, Garble."
Garble groans bitterly. "Awww! But that'll be super embarrassing!" He whines a bit.
"I command you to do it!" Spike said with authority.
Grable grumbles, making his way to the first Dragon he sees. "I can't believe this..." Garble hugs him and takes off. That Dragon couldn't help but smile and laugh.
"Dragon Lord Spike. Hm, has a nice ring to it," Ember says, putting some thought into seeing a brighter future with Spike in charge.
"It sure does," Spike sees his reflection through the gemstone of the Bloodstone Scepter.
"Congratulations, my Spikey-Wikey!" Rarity shouts after Spike draws Garble away from her and Twilight's presence.
"What the?" The other Dragons near Rarity and Twilight get startled for a second.
"Nice one, Rarity!" Twilight becomes agitated at Rarity for exposing themselves again.
The Dragons remove their disguises, preparing to pounce on the Equestrian Spies.
"Don't harm them!" Dragon Lord Spike decrees. The Dragons reluctantly accept the command of their new leader.
Rarity and Twilight gallop to hug Spike and congratulate him properly since the Dragons won't harm them.
"So, Spikey-Wikey. Now that you're Dragon Lord, you're staying, right?" Rarity nervously asks.
"Of course not, Rarity. Spike's home is in Equestria; with us!" Twilight said, knowing that Spike would make the right decision.
"Uh, actually, about that," Spike holds onto the Bloodstone Scepter and contemplates, making his decision within the moment.
"Yes, Spike," Twilight and Rarity turn to him.
"As Dragon Lord, I'm not returning to Equestria," Spike firmly states.
"Wh-Wh-What?!" Rarity and Twilight shout in shock.
"You can't be serious, Spike!" Twilight shouts. "I need you back home! We need you! Please, come home..." Twilight doesn't want Spike to remain in the Dragon Lands.
"You'll do fine without me, Twilight," Spike takes a deep breath. "Look around you," Twilight does so to understand Spike's point of view. "I'm not only the Dragon Lord; I'm among my kin. I go home with you; I'm a Dragon living in a nation full of Ponies. The only Dragon."
"But Spike," Rarity complains. "Be reasonable. Who'll be there for me when I need help in the boutique or extracting gemstones in the caves? Who'll help carry things whenever I go to places? Who'll be there for moral support?"
"Who'll help me back in the Castle of Friendship, Spike? Who'll be there for me when I need help? You can't stay! You're my Number One Assistant and friend!"
"Twilight, Rarity," Spike taps the Bloodstone Scepter on the ground, making his point evident on what he wants to do. "I have a purpose here. To lead these Dragons into prosperity now."
"But Spike," Rarity reaches for Spike. "You don't belong here. What would we do without you?"
"Continue without me," Spike replies. "I fulfilled my purpose of saving Equestria from the wrath of other Dragons," Spike stares at Twilight and Rarity. "My mind is made up. You can't convince me to go back to Equestria."
Twilight's jaw dropped at the seriousness written in Spike's demeanor. "I need you, Spike! Don't you get it?!" Twilight is in tears. "I hatched you, raised you, and you've become important to me in life! Please, come home!"
Spike looks down. "You hatched and raised me; you've given me love throughout my time in Equestria. I'll always be grateful for the times we shared. Now, you have to let me go."
"No!" Twilight stomps her front hoof harshly. She doesn't want to leave Spike. She wants him home with her. "As Princess, I demand you come home with me this instant!" Twilight demands in her royal voice, booming loudly within the cavern.
Spike's eyes widen from the desperation in Twilight's tone. He taps the ground with the Bloodstone Scepter. "As Dragon Lord..," Spike starts tearing up since Twilight is stubborn. "I hereby declare that you and Rarity leave the premises of the Dragon Lands."
"Spike, NO!" Rarity doesn't want to leave without her Spikey-Wikey.
Twilight realizes the error she made when her emotions get the better of her, trying to control Spike when he's the leader of the Dragons. "Spike..."
"Leave. Now," Spike walks away from Rarity and Twilight. He stands next to Princess Ember.
"Spike!" In a desperate attempt to lure Spike back to Equestria, Rarity thought of a quick lie. "I love you, Spike!"
"So did I," Spike admits. "However, I found someone else," Spike looks up at Princess Ember with a warm smile. Ember slightly blushes and looks away; the feeling is mutual with the startup of building companionship with Spike.
"Spike..," Twilight's gaze is on Spike. "I'm sorry for how I reacted. Please.., come back with us."
"No," Spike shakes his head. "Dragons!" Spike sees a bulky blue Dragon in armor and a lavender Dragon in armor. "Escort my friends out of the Dragon Lands into Equestria. I have one last task to complete."
"Yes, Dragon Lord Spike," The two Dragons approach Rarity and Twilight.
"No! Get your dirty claws off of me!" Rarity whines and wails as the bulky blue Dragon grabs Rarity and flies out of the cave.
The lavender Dragon attempts to grab Twilight.
"No," Twilight flaps her wings. "I'll follow," She turns to Spike. "Goodbye," Twilight leaves Spike. She's sad to leave him behind in the Dragon Lands and ponders explaining everything to her friends and the Princesses in Canterlot.
Spike sighs deeply. "Ember, mind carrying me to your father?"
"Not at all, Dragon Lord Spike," Ember hoists Spike and puts him on her back.
"Follow me to former Dragon Lord Torch!" Spike shouts with excitement, hoping to rally the Dragons within Flamecano Island.
"YEAH!" All the Dragons present follow Princess Ember to former Dragon Lord Torch.
Great Chapter. I like Spike as the new dragon lord.
Pretty interesting
Keep it up. I believe this is how it should've ended between Spike & the main six in Dragon Quest.
I'm really excited to read more!! And I do hope to see spikeXember!!! I LOVE THAT SHIP!!!! Can't wait for an update!
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Thanks
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Thanks
11561912
Well, this is Gauntlet of Fire. Dragon Quest happened back in season 2.
11562013
Awesome
I'm very interested to see how things go. I always wanted to see what happens if Spike keeps the staff
11562117
Nice
11562083
You're welcome. Keep it up.
A bit right field of with the whole sudden change in Spike's rule and demand but still a great premise
11562179
Thanks
Ok
This is already going to be awesome.
Wow that suddenly came out of left field, can't wait to see where it goes from here!
Also hoping we get to see a certain orange dragoness sooner than in canon!
This is somewhat interesting and I'm curious to see where it goes but the first chapter doesn't show much more than the description.
This is an interesting idea. I'm interested to see how it will turn out and am excited for more.
The scene with Spike arguing with Twilight and Rarity over not returning to Equestria was sad, but I hope it didn't permanently damage his friendship with them or anything. I hope that this will be a Spike x Ember story too as it was implied a bit here, since that's my personal favorite ship for Spike.
I get that will miss him but at the same time this is his time to shine and find his own path. They have already seen their paths for the most part and spike he been in everyone shadow forever. Outside the crystal empire nobody really pays a ton of attention to him. He twilight assistant and rarity assistant but who is spike when comes to what he wants.
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Thanks
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Who knows what can happen.
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You'll see
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That's exactly the point.
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I know. But I believe it should've ended like this with Spike laving the main six behind to be with his own kind.
11562417
Fair enough
11562416
Yeah but it is gonna take the girls a while to see that it spike time to find his path. And I never like how spike crushed on rarity and yet nobody would stop it. She is too old for him plus she doesn't apparently feel the same way as him. And considering it written all over his face there is no way he was keeping it a secret. Twilight still thinks of spike as a baby but he still has to do a lot of grown up things. This will force her to grow up some.
Something about this seems really off compared to the rest of the chapter.
Otherwise, very interesting start. Will be neat to see how spike goes about Civ-Building the dragons. Got a soft spot for those types of fics, myself...
Sorry not going to read this.
I read one fo the posts and the bit put there.
this feels like a Screw the ponies I'm staying with the dragons fics.
I honestly expecting ti turn into Let's take over and destroy the pony races for how i was treated and make them all slaves fic as well.
I mean for ONCE i like to read one where he discusses it with twilight Celestia and Luna and they agree with the idea of Spike being a ruler and progressing the dragons and ties with the Ponies, and other races.
Also Spike suddenly loves Ember though they just met, and not a crush...yyyyyyyyeeeeaaaahhhhhhhh...That almost as bad as the complaints on Spike having his feels for Rarity who too old for him.
Let's see...Isn't Ember way older as well, she not a baby dragon like Spike is.
So it a little kid falling for a older Teen...thing.
11562460
Did you read the first chapter?
11562460
Obviously writer missed Dragon Dropped
I'll always have my Rarity TimeĀ®
Gabby was bad enough
Yea try kissing a beak , It's murder
So two criticisms--one is I feel like most of this first chapter was just repeating the events of the episode. And I get how a bit of summary for the context of readers would seem necessary, but I feel like the summary didn't need to be this detailed and instead kept to just the bare bone basics and still gotten the necessary information across, getting the reader into the true hook of the story all that much sooner.
The other is that I feel like the parting of ways between Spike and Twilight and Rarity should've gone differently. Obviously, for Spike to be an effective Dragon Lord, that'd naturally necessitate him being at the land he'd be ruling over, and I think both Twilight and Rarity are not only both smart enough to have known that, they would've already realized this was a likely possibility if Spike won the gauntlet very early on. As such, I feel like the matter should've been approached from that matter and focused on that, rather than inventing some forced drama mostly out of nowhere with which to create that split. Further, its a frankly needless divide between them, one that isn't well justified by failing to provide a clear reason or motive why either side would let tempers flare so quickly so easily or why they'd refuse to see it from the other's perspective so completely. As another commenter put it, it feels like the whole purpose of the scene is really just to demonize the ponies and blindly praise Spike, but the story's premise isn't the right set-up for that, so it feels...awkward, out of place, and a little amateurish.
Still, the premise is interesting, and now that it's past the awkwardness of this first chapter, it's potential is clear. Dunno if I'm going to formally follow the story just yet, but I probably will keep an eye out for its next chapter nonetheless.
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To put it another way then, if it had been me writing it, I would've started out the conversation with a "So...Dragon Lord, huh? I, uh, I guess that means you're going to be delayed coming home, huh?" "Uh...I think I'm not going to now. I...can't exactly just become the leader of the dragons and then immediately turn around and leave my subjects hanging, can I?" At which point you can still have Twilight and Rarity be all "but we don't want you to stay, we'll miss you!" and all that, but the point would be it'd be more "Are you sure you want to do this, Spike?" "Yeah...yeah, I really think I do," and have it be all about how he's choosing to live up to the role he's taken up and be a good Dragon Lord, and ask that choice be respected and to wish him the best of luck.
If you still want it to end in a fight though, then after all that you can still have Twilight be all "no, I'm not leaving you here" and otherwise refusing to cooperate, because by then you'd have adequate set the scene for such an outburst and nicely transitioned into it instead of jumping straight into it with little to no transition like a car going off a cliff like you already have.
But hey, it's your story. I'm just trying to be helpful by giving you hopefully useful suggestions and constructive criticism.
11562748
Oh, my apologies! I thought you were the author of the story who'd replied to my first comment. Whoops! Well, I guess you can disregard the latter half of my second comment then.
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yyyyyyyyeahh well I'm gone I'm deleting all my comments sorry but I went through this before at a different site for different things and had to leave to avoid trouble I'm gone no offense.
You know what, I like the start. I really do. The departure of Twilight and Rarity was handled as well as it could've been. With the two of them being emotional because they didn't want Spike to depart with them, but this is a good chance for Spike to spread his wings, so to speak.
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Well despite spike youth remember expect for getting wings he didn't grow much for years so he may be older than he looks. Plus thanks to twilight he had to grow up a lot more than would be expected for a child of any age.
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Two questions:
1. When do you think we'll see the next chapter?
2. Will the princesses be involved?
I... would suggest an editing pass that is almost a rewrite by someone with a better command of English. I am having a hard time getting to the story because the grammar gets in the way so much. I only got to the part where he rescues Ember on the beach.
Wasnt twi still a unicorn for this? It shows in the emotional immaturity since I can believe they would be overly clingy since they did follow him against his will but still it's his choice to make and it's not like he's going to worse off he the fucking king, I don't think his adoptive family would be that manipulative and abusive who's going to help me who's going be there for me that talk is so selfish and I think it's super ooc both would be sad and a little clingy but that's just selfishness and both are more civilized then that. He could've promised to write and visit with a delegation at times too to further relations but this seems very power hungry and his lust for ember is showing. The dragonlord says ... Ass up face down, mhmm ride em cowboi.
Feels like it falls a bit short. This is a Season 6 event, both Twilight and Spike should've had better arguing points and more back and forth with each other. Other than that, nice premise.