Dear Diary

Author's Note:

Warning: Twilight’s jealous thoughts of Sunburst do not affect my actual opinion of him. I actually really like his character.

This has been sitting in my drafts for a couple days and I am only now getting the courage to post this.

I’ve seen the concept of one partner looking at another’s diary out of fear of their relationship before in another fandom and found it cool, so I decided to try my own twist on it with TwiStar.

The temptation tormented her, it gnawed in her brain.

Twilight couldn’t believe she was in her girlfriends’ room, that girlfriend being Starlight, and seriously considering reading Starlight’s cyan colored diary on the desk.

When Starlight had originally got the diary after she graduated, she made it very clear she didn’t want Twilight or Spike looking at it. Spike seemed disappointed but Twilight completely understood why Starlight wanted her privacy.

Though, Starlight had been acting strange ever since their week long trip to the Crystal Empire to visit Sunburst, Shining Armor, and Cadence. She started speaking about Sunburst more fonder than usual, after said trip. She smiled brighter, and she’d giggle sheepishly. It wouldn’t be too bad but she kept doing it more and more, and it started to annoy Twilight. Not because it was repetitive, but it was also because Twilight was starting to believe Starlight was losing interest in her in favor of Sunburst.

Twilight grumbled at the mere thought of that, Sunburst had abandoned Starlight for years without so much as contacting her, and granted it wasn’t his fault she turned to the dark side before Twilight showed her the light again, he still hadn’t seemed to give her a second thought until Twilight had brought them back together with her friendship lesson.

Twilight had to know if Starlight felt anything for Sunburst, even if it turned out she did, learning that would be less painful than not knowing, but should she do it? It was Starlight’s diary after all.

“What are you doing?” A familiar voice was heard, Twilight looked at the open doorway to inwardly sigh in relief, it was just Spike with his wings spread as he leaned against the wall. This should be easy.

“Oh hey Spike.” Twilight smiled sheepishly, “I was just making sure Starlight’s room was clean. Y’know… to avoid spiders.”

“A likely story.” Spike shrugged as he entered with a smirk, “But tell me Twilight, why were you staring at Starlight’s diary on that desk?”

“Uh, Uh.” Twilight blushed with a nervous frown.

“You were planning on reading it weren’t you?” Spike smirked deviously, “Shame on you Twilight Sparkle, I thought you lectured me over the mere thought of reading Starlight’s dirty little secrets. Now why would you even bother with such things? You’re her girlfriend aren’t you?”

“For now at least.” Twilight said fearfully, “Starlight’s been talking about Sunburst a lot more since we all came back from the Crystal Empire. I’m worried she’s starting to lose feelings for me.”

“That’s ridiculous Twilight. I understand your jealousy but Starlight loves you way too much to wanna leave you.” Spike spoke with a reassuring smile.

“Spike, she formed an anti-cutie mark cult over this stallion leaving her and never coming back, I think concern is natural here, she might love me but she might love Sunburst more.” Twilight sighed sadly.

“Can’t you just talk to Starlight about it? If you feel this concerned, you can always talk to her about it.” Spike suggested.

“I don’t want to come off as an overly clingy girlfriend Spike. The last times I acted clingy with Starlight, I almost broke up her friendship with Trixie and somewhat caused her to get a nightmare that almost damaged her psyche.” Twilight told the dragon in a matter of fact tone.

“Because invading her privacy is SO much better.” Spike snarked with an unamused frown.

“It’s not like she needs to know. This is the only way to help me, I have to read Starlight’s diary.” Twilight said in determination.

“You’re what?!” An all too familiar voice was heard, Twilight and Spike, wide eyed turned to a shocked Starlight.

“Uh… hey Starlight. Me and Spike were just… uh…” Twilight nervously smiled and turned to Spike for help, who just shook his head, “Sorry, I can’t cover for you here.”

Starlight immediately levitated her diary to her and held it protectively, “Clearly I’ll have to hide this now. Why were you going to read this Twilight? I thought you understood that I didn’t want anyone reading this.”

“I do, I swear.” Twilight spoke desperately as she began to confess, “I…I was jealous. You were talking about Sunburst a lot lately and I was worried you were beginning to have feelings for him so I needed assurance, that’s why I was after your diary.”

Starlight seemed to look sympathetic, almost remorseful even, and she sighed, “Twilight, I have a confession to make. I… wasn’t exactly a saint either. This should help explain it.”

Starlight levitated the diary to Twilight to the alicorn’s shock.

“You’re letting me read it?” Twilight asked in astonishment.

“Only the most recent entry. It should probably explain why I’ve been acting the way I have.” Starlight clarified.

Twilight immediately skimmed through Starlight’s entries and went to the most recent one and began to read it.

Dear Diary,

It was a bit of a slow day, not a lot of students seemed to have many problems. And at worst I just had to break up a minor fight between Gallus and Smolder.

I decided to try my plan again on Twilight today, when she was mentioning scheduling her curriculum, I talked about how Sunburst was always good with schedules and what not. He definitely was but not as good as Twilight. I’ll have to tell her that at some point.

Once again, I failed at getting her jealous, all she did was roll her eyes at me and went back to her devices.

I do always make sure to let Twilight know that I love her, because I don’t want to look like someone obsessed with their ex or something like that, but I want her to feel jealous. I want her to know how I felt when she was off with Flash Sentry the whole time the entire Crystal Empire visit. He is so into her and I know she’s aware of it but it’s not like she cares.

Am I starting to be inadequate to her?

Twilight read the diary entry, mouth agape at what she saw, Starlight had been trying to get her jealous this whole time.

“You were speaking fondly about Sunburst to get me jealous on purpose?” Twilight asked in shock.

“It was only meant to be minor jealousy.” Starlight explained to her full of regret, “I was so upset when you were neglecting me to spend time with Flash Sentry, you completely disregarded me when I mentioned he could be flirting with you. I felt like I had to get back at you somehow. So I spoke positive things about Sunburst to get you jealous, and once I made sure you were jealous, I was gonna stop and tell you I was faking. I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did, and I’m sorry.”

Twilight looked a bit annoyed at Starlight, she wasn’t too upset with her, she could see the unicorn was beginning to feel inadequate given the diary entry but she needed a satisfying explanation for this.

“But why did you feel the need to do it?” Twilight asked sternly, “You could have just told me.”

“Like I said, you disregarded my concerns like your friends did back at the Canterlot Wedding.” Starlight said with a sigh before she showed a look of annoyance, “Besides you have no idea how it feels for another stallion to cuddle up to YOUR girlfriend and you won’t tell him to back off. It’s almost as if you LIKE it.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Twilight scoffed, “I’m not into Flash.”

“Really? I remember you telling me that the Flash from Sunset’s world and the Flash from this one was cute before we started to go out and you took some opportunities you had to hang out with him. The only reason I knew you weren’t cheating on me was because I bribed a guard to spy on you.” Starlight looked annoyed at Twilight.

“Yeah… I gotta be honest. You did seem like you enjoyed being around him a lot.” Spike said nervously, “I’m not defending what Starlight did because… well, it was stupid but I can understand her concern Twilight.”

Twilight looked back to the time she spent with Flash, realizing how flirty he acted at times, and how she sorta blushed at him. She never intended to cheat on Starlight, oh goodness no. She was just trying to get to know the Flash from her world a bit more but… she probably still had a thing for him. It wasn’t even Flash’s fault either, Twilight never told him that she was Starlight’s girlfriend.

With this realization dawned upon her, Twilight sighed sadly, “I’m sorry Starlight. I didn’t know you felt this way. And looking back, yes. I did sort of enable Flash’s flirting. I just wanted to get to know him more as a friend, but I should have told him you were my girlfriend so we could properly know each other better but Starlight, just because I don’t show jealousy the way you do, doesn’t mean I don’t do it at all.”

“Really?” Starlight asked in shock.

“I usually show a minor amount of annoyance if I feel it’s appropriate or I basically smile really wide to save face, either way, I contain my jealousy.” Twilight explained.

“Oh… yeah I should have realized that from the start.” Starlight smiled with a nervous blush.

“So, what have we learned today you oblivious charmers?” Spike asked with a smirk.

“Actually communicate with my girlfriend instead of ignoring her and not talking to her about my jealousy.” Twilight sighed with a smile.

“Starlight?” Spike smirked.

“Don’t purposely try to make your girlfriend jealous even if it is meant to be for minor amounts of time, and basically communicate like Twilight said.” Starlight smiled in embarrassment.

“Good.” Spike smiled before sighing in relief, “I swear you two are a handful at times.”

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