• Published 24th May 2021
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The Accidental Invasion - computerneek



When a magical accident occurs, there's a small chance it'll invite an invasion. This one did.

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Chapter 7: Platform Nine and Three Quarters

“Platform Nine. Platform Ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don’t seem to have built it yet,” Vernon observed, while Harry watched a fairly large crowd of funny-haired children- they were walking into the station from outside, with wheeled luggage, owls, and everything- vanish into the solid metal barrier between platforms. “Have a good term.”

He watched the Dursleys leave, jeering at him as they drove away, then looked forwards at the barrier, and shrugged. He had a pretty good idea of where he was going.

Though there was at least a part of him that wished there was a door convenient for someone to slam in his face. He hadn’t tried that at the Dursleys; the lot of them had been too scared of him to get close, so he hadn’t asked. He rather liked how nobody went nuts about Hailey, even though everyone in Diagon Alley and beyond had gone basically nuts at him whenever they realized who he was before he had turned himself into a girl.

At first, he’d thought the transformation would only last a few hours… but it held for the entire rest of the day, and he’d had to go to sleep as a girl at the Dursleys once again… and woken up to find himself a boy again. The Dursleys hadn’t said anything.

He pushed his trolley forwards, towards the barrier. He’d let it ‘rest’ against the barrier, then push against it, to see if that’s what it took without risking crashing if he was wrong.

He slowed down as he got close, and then-

The moment it touched, the barrier was nowhere, and he was instead facing a wide open platform crowded with funny-haired children and the occasional normal-looking family. There was a scarlet steam engine with a very long train behind it, but Harry couldn’t read the side through the crowd. As he walked forwards, he glanced back up at the wrought iron archway he’d passed through- which announced that he was indeed on Platform Nine and Three Quarters.

He gave a nod and pushed his trolly to the train, hunting for an empty compartment.

It didn’t take him very long. He put Hedwig into his selected compartment first, then started struggling with his trunk.

He had only dropped it painfully on his foot once before a couple of girls appeared. “Would you like some help with that?” one asked, her hair split between bright pink and dark blue.

“Yes please,” he answered.

“Okay then… so how heavy is it?” She squatted down, seized the other end of the trunk, and lifted. “Hmm…” She straightened up. “You’ve got a heavy one.” She looked at Harry. “We can drag it in, but in order to get it into the luggage rack, we’ll all have to work together. Diamond?”

The other girl nodded, and as Harry stood back, they took positions on either side of his trunk, lifted it, and dragged it into the train. He followed them in.

The girl was right. It did take all three of them to get it into the rack.

“That’s going to be a pain to get back down,” Harry muttered, looking up at it.

The girl nodded. “Yup.”

The other girl- Diamond Tiara, if he recalled correctly- nodded. “I’ll get the trolley,” she volunteered, and left, closing the door behind her.

The first girl heaved a sigh. “Whelp.” She held out her hand for him to shake. “I’m Bonbon, and it’s nice to meet you, Harry.”

He took the offered hand. “Nice to meet you too,” he muttered.

The girl took a deep breath. “Well, I have something of a proposal,” she began, in a very official tone of voice. “We have an… agreement with the Hogwarts Headmaster, in that we’re allowed to set up a student instructor program so that the few instructors that they have at the school will be able to teach the sudden influx of thousands this year. Naturally, we’ve picked and vetted a lot of our instructors- but believe it or not, you’re a candidate, though not…” She sighed. “It’s complicated, actually. We’ve got enough instructors that you’d be more of a backup or control, if you agree- the same instruction and everything as the other instructors… but no class to teach. There is a possibility that, if we have to fire an instructor, you could be given an assignment at some point in the year. Do you think that’s something you might be interested in?” She looked at him inquisitively.

Harry mulled it over for a few seconds. “It’s not because I’m famous, is it?” he asked bluntly.

She blinked. “You’re famous? Huh. News to me. And no, it’s not- it’s based mostly on Diamond’s evaluation.”

“Huh,” he muttered. “Alright, I’ll bite. Tell me more?”


It was nearly half an hour after Harry got on the train when Bonbon reappeared in the door to the compartment. She’d fully explained that program, and he’d agreed- even offered to let them use his compartment for the ‘student instructor course’ she warned him they’d need to give him before he arrived at the school. Once they reached the school, his actually becoming a student instructor would be contingent upon his having passed the instructor course.

He looked up when the door slid open. Bonbon wasn’t alone; she had a second girl with her now, with bushy brown hair.

“Harry, this is Hermione Granger,” Bonbon began. “Hermione, this is Harry Potter. You’ve both elected to be a part of our student instructor program, and we intend to use this compartment for the associated lesson. Hermione, is it going to be okay if we put your luggage in here, or do you want it somewhere else?”

Hermione, whose eyes had snapped to Harry’s when his name was mentioned, looked at Bonbon. “I assume we’ll be taking turns getting dressed?”

Bonbon nodded. “I would assume that too. Probably wait in the corridor or something.”

Harry shrugged. “Or you could slam a door in my face and it wouldn’t matter,” he smiled.

Bonbon gave him a weird look, but otherwise ignored his comment.

Hermione, on the other hand, looked at him with a perplexing expression on her face. “Yeah,” she muttered, slowly. “That’ll be fine by me. What about you, Harry?”

Harry shrugged again. “No problem here.”

“Alright.” Hermione looked at Bonbon, who nodded silently before they both disappeared.

It didn’t take them long to reappear, dragging a trunk that looked somewhat larger than Harry’s- and with Diamond’s help as well. The three of them stopped to catch their breaths once they got it in the compartment.

Harry stood up. “Would you like some help?” he asked.

Bonbon nodded. “Yup. And I thought yours was heavy. I think she’s got half a library in here.”

Hermione blushed. “I do not! I only got twelve extra books!”

Harry laughed, but took a position with the trunk anyways, to help lift it into the luggage rack. “Ready?”


The driver pushed the throttle a little bit further forwards. It was already much further than he’d pushed it before, and the train had shifted slightly when the brakes released, so he knew he wasn’t fighting those- but his locomotive had yet to move anywhere. He leaned out the side of the train to look at the wheels. They weren’t moving.

So he pushed it a little further, checking the pressure gauge on the locomotive. Full pressure.

Still nothing happened, so he pushed it a touch further again.

He got a response. The locomotive vibrated, but didn’t move forwards, despite the chuffing. He looked out again. The wheels were spinning in place.

He rolled his eyes, reduced the throttle until the wheels stopped spinning, and leaned out with his wand this time. He cast a quick spell to make the wheels incapable of slipping- it was incredibly useful during the winter, when the tracks could be layered with ice- and started pushing the throttle forwards.

He pushed it, slowly, while leaning out the side of the locomotive… then, at right about eighty percent of maximum throttle, he got a response again. And again, it wasn’t the one he was looking for.

The wheels weren’t slipping, though. His spell was doing its job.

Instead, he had put down so much power that the whole locomotive was rearing up.

His wand flashed forwards, and he forced the front of the locomotive back to the ground.

The conductor reached past him while he continued nudging the throttle forwards to launch an owl with a letter, probably to Dumbledore to warn him that the train was going to be late. “Do you think she’s going to go anywhere?”

“Perhaps,” the driver- a muggleborn, who actually had worked for a muggle railroad for a short time before the Ministry approached him with this job- muttered. “The train’s much too heavy for her. We might get it moving, but we aren’t going to be moving very quickly.” He sighed. “What we really need- and I told them we’d need it- is more locomotives.” The throttle reached ninety percent, but nothing happened. He kept pushing it.

“Would a featherweight charm work?”

“No, that’d just cause a derailment. I think it’s the weight of all the students that pushed it over the- Ahh, there we go!” At what had to be about ninety-five percent of maximum throttle, the locomotive had finally started moving. He continued nudging it higher, trying to get the acceleration rate up to what it was supposed to be, but hit maximum throttle before it got there. He sighed. “Maximum throttle. And whenever we start hitting the hills, we’re going to be stuck with whatever speed our emergency spells can give us, because she won’t be going up.” He was referring to a set of spells that had been designed to keep the train moving in the event that the locomotive broke down- which had happened depressingly often in the early days, but hadn’t happened for nearly thirty years.


The driver sat down on the catwalk on the side of the locomotive once again, listening to the sluggish thudding of the cylinders while he mopped the sweat off his brow. “Does Dumbledore know?” he asked the conductor. At least the magic was keeping the steam from cooling inside the cylinders, so he didn’t have to lose power by opening those valves. And for as little power as the locomotive could provide on its own, it was reducing the amount of magic he and the conductor had to keep dumping into it to keep it moving up the gradient.

The conductor nodded mutely, wand pointed at the drive wheels as he forced them to keep turning.

Then he looked up, down the tracks. There was a curve ahead, and-

He let out a sigh of relief. “We’re saved,” he muttered.

The locomotives rounding the curve ahead were not familiar to him, aside from being even more complicated muggle technology that he hadn’t been trained on, but there were twelve of them and they only had one car, right in the middle. They were also as silent as a ghost as they approached- despite the heat waves visible off the tops.

The conductor looked up too. “What in the name of Merlin is that?” he asked.

“Backup,” the driver told him. The things definitely weren’t intended for passenger service- but right at that moment, he didn’t care. All he cared was that there was someone standing on the catwalk on the front of the nearest locomotive (they seemed to have a somewhat random orientation, and from what he remembered, they were also better capable of backing up than his). And of course, that someone was using something in his hand to control them.

Finally, the twelve massive locomotives drew to a halt a short distance in front of the Hogwarts Express.

The driver stepped up to the front of the locomotive, even though it was going to be his turn at the drive wheels in a minute or so. “Are you here to save us?” he asked.

The man on the larger locomotive chuckled. “Yes, actually. We saw you crawling on satellite photos, and brought these in to see our students safely to Hogwarts. So…” He shrugged, and looked down. “What’s the pull spec on your front coupler?”

“Every bit of this train has been magically reinforced,” the driver answered, shaking his head. “It’s theoretically unbreakable.”

“Nice.” He looked down, in time for the couplers to clack together. The Hogwarts Express gave a little shudder as it pushed the larger locomotives to match its speed; they must not have had the brakes engaged. Then he looked back up. “Shall we get rolling, then?”

He nodded. “Yes please. We’ve got about five hours to cover nearly four hundred miles as it is.”

He scowled, raising his thing to his mouth. “Light ‘er up,” he commanded, then he lowered it. “Well, we’re not going to be able to make that kind of speed, but we can definitely get you there faster than this.”

Right as the man finished speaking, the massive locomotives each let out deep, basso growls that grew heavier and stronger for a second before the train started picking up speed.


“I’m… curious,” Hermione began, slowly. They’d both just passed the student instructor course- which hadn’t started until after the train had started moving, and had started with Harry and Hermione taking turns getting changed with the others waiting outside- with flying colors.

Twilight Sparkle, one of the instructors for the student instructor course, looked at her with raised eyebrows. “Mm?”

“What made you pick me?” Hermione asked. “For this, I mean.”

Bonbon shrugged. “You were the one that made us realize there were candidates amongst the British students as well,” she told her. “After that, it was a slam dunk. And the final evaluation was at the end of our course, just in case we were wrong with our preliminary evaluations, but…” She shrugged. “Flying colors.” She looked down at her clipboard. “As a matter of fact, I actually wasn’t aware that it was possible to do as well as you did.”

Hermione blushed scarlet.

Twilight nodded, peering at the clipboard as well. “Literally the one hundredth percentile. Even across all three thousand other instructors- a good ninety-five percent of which are much older and more experienced, and several of which are certified instructors where we come from. Hay, even I didn’t do as well!” She laughed good-naturedly.

Hermione’s blush darkened.

Right at that moment, there was a knock on the door. Bonbon slid it open.

It was a red-haired boy, about Harry’s age. “Do you mind if I join you?” he began, almost as soon as the door was fully open. “Everywhere else is full.” Then he blinked at the full compartment. “Er…”

“No worries,” Bonbon said, as she, Lyra, Twilight, Luna, Sunset Shimmer, and Starlight Glimmer stood up. “We were about ready to return to our compartment anyways.” She looked back at Harry and Hermione. “Is it okay if he joins you?”

Harry shrugged.

Hermione blinked. “Uh, sure,” she muttered. “There’s only… two hours or so left.”

Author's Note:

First off, Hermione is wrong at the end there. She just doesn't know it yet.

As for how they got the train to the station in the first place... I don't know. Perhaps they assembled it at the station, perhaps it was downhill...

The driver is getting at the fact that 13,000 students will weigh something like 650 tons (at 100lb/ea average). Which is about 1/3 of the combined weight of the ’savior’ locomotives- nothing to a train.

Patreon, Discord. No, Discord, the old invite got deleted at some point.

There was a point, not too long ago, when I wrote the events all the way through Christmas... but decided that not enough shenanigans had happened, so didn't publish any of it- even to patrons- while I worked in how I wanted it to work. Well, I've finished that- then promptly got three entire new chapters scribbled into place in a matter of hours. We'll see how long it takes to hit the Chamber of Secrets... Or, as I believe I've mentioned before, I have biiiiig plans for Order of the Phoenix. Plans so big they may entirely derail the plotlines of the last two Harry Potter books... Not that there's much to lose there, let's be fair.

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