Absolutely great start.
Loving it already.

As eloquent and sensual as always!
If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been working on this novel?

Oh Twilight, you think a bribe and a guilt trip will be enough?

You betray a person who was suffering, basically used him as a guinni pig, risk his life as Chrysalis could have easily turn into a human take his love, recharge and then used him as a hostage to get out or injure him so you will have to take action! Thank god everything work out in the end, but yeah.

I can only see one of two outcomes for what you did, either you will wake up complete shave! Or Anon and Chrysalis will invite you for ' a special dinner' (let me know if curious what is so special about it) , and if your friendship to him means ANYTHING you better mare up and take that offer! Or you will officially be crown the princess of hypocrisy.

Huh. Yes, I, too, would not refuse Creasy who lives with me in the same house.

a3.pmark.ru/a3/mv0000020941m9/catalog/items/1849/images/2/modest/zoom.jpg

That was low, Sparklebutt. Though the results are good so far.

Best bughorse is sated!

... Hopefully Chryssie gets to meet Thorax and accidentally buck him in the balls.

Also, kinky.

'bringing her shout' - snout

'fully excerpt their will' - exert

I've gotten a few paragraphs and all i gotta say is
he ain't getting any bitches because he's a slovenly slob

I thought this was a website for fiction.

Hot damn I am taken notes. I am trying to write some stuff like this myself. I am not worthy of the master.

Nice writing but I hope this character doesn't just get pushed around like almost every HIE

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Well shit my dude, I didn't know the happenings written here were canon

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Personal anicdotes are welcome too; though I have to ask, what's with all those dislikes?

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I've no idea
But i reckon people didn't like something they said
The great internet hivemind probably thought it was rude

"what is it?" "the last mare you will ever want..."

Twilight with a gameface and forsight for less honesty and less regard for life? Nice, I'll take it!

All hail the greater good!

“I can be anything you want,” she breathed hotly, nibbling his ear.

Can you be at the other end of this room?

Twilight get a new fetish tickeld... Sexy science

Dick move twi but it did lead to a bro getting some so i guess it worked out lol

Are you sure the cover art is still up? I couldn't find it on any of Underpable's sites.

There is such thing as informed consent. Those participating in some kind of research should be able to have a basic understanding of what's going on. If Twi's research seems kind of ****ed, it's because that's absolutely not present here.

Though the prospect of having extra cash around was tempting, having to live with a possibly deranged bug-horse didn’t exactly sound like a walk in the park. “What happens if I refuse?”

“Well, if you decline the offer, I’ll have to imprison her again,” Twilight admitted, the enthusiasm bleeding from her voice.

Anon may have made several poor choices throughout his life, but he was not going to be responsible for someone he’d only just met being sentenced to a stony prison. Pinching the bridge of his nose, already regretting what he was going to say, he shook his head. “No...I’ll take her home…”

First janitor anon with Cozy Glow, and now bowling alley anon with Chrysalis.
It seems that your Twilights have a penchant for guilt tripping the story's relevant anon, into keeping their villainous paramour.

At least Twilight pays anon a lot of money for putting up with having a sociopath/psychopath fuck buddy on parole.

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I would laugh my balls off it at some point after the main story he and chrysalis take twilight to court and stick her with a very hard to explain record

Amazing, this is where the fun begins

Oh this is going to be a fun and interesting blast of a sorry I can't wait to see where this goes.

Time to re-read this treat.

This story has come full circel do to you linking them in alternative timelines.

“ If that goody two shoes is lying, I’m sure you wouldn’t be bothered if I…” Chrysalis trailed off, lazily spinning in place and flicking her tail to the side. Without the slightest bite of shame, squarely facing away from him, she leaned forward, arched her back, and braced her hind legs. With an impish look in her eye, she glanced over her shoulder and grinned.

"This is low Sparkle, tricking the resident alien into being food for one of the most dangerous entities in equestrian history"

Idk twilight sparkle would die for that stupid thing I'm no science experiment to be recorded and watched idk if that paed or not she is dead and if u can't till I did not like how twilight sparkle tricked hem locked hem in a room recorded hem lied and forced hem to take Queen Chrysalis home

First and last chapter for me jeast because of that

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The rest of the fanfic is pretty good, nothing like this will happen again.

Perhaps it was all planned, she had a great fifty-point plan, if the human was in danger, she would have intervened, her heartless behavior in the end was a way to "convince" him to accept the deal...
Or she's just mean bitch in this universe, instead of Chrysalis