Kind of new to this community, only started watching when all seasons were out but better late than never. I have several story ideas and I try to share as many with you as I can.
Gregory tried his best to convince his mother and grandparents to do the upload, but they're too stubborn. Now he has to decide whether stay with them or leave. But can he truly be satisfied, when knowing what fate awaits his family?
Written for Friendship is Optimal Writing Contest
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wow, this got to me. I haven't read many of the other entries, but I have a feeling that this will rank high.
10788650
Thank you!
going to be that guy:
Is this suppose to be near instead of hear?
There are places where you should use commas in dialog. for example: comma after me," the old man
I've been guilty of these things.
That out of the way: Your world building and setup is spot on and the pacing is fast but not neck breaking. Plot is serviceable that I enjoy. Your stinger line at the end really made smile big. Good line.
10792319
Thank you for your feedback!
That's not near, I'm just bad with my words, should've used 'listen' instead of 'hear'.
My comma usage is one of my weaknesses, I still don't understand its rules completely but maybe one day...
10792773
No problem. I cheat and used a guide all the time.
This is a very good question.