Mr. Jones and Me

by The REAL Seth Standmore

That Conclude's Negotiation's

Author's Note:

Athor'snote Hye guys this is Seth Stanmoe thius ois my entry for the contest about the pony who taker's over your computer and talks to you it is a functionalized version of my story of how I goto my settle ment from smart and final after they fired me some name's have been cahgned to protect the innocent if you are Mr jone's or arthur talk to my laweyer anyway special thank's for my gf katana-maru-chan who helped me edit this in spirit I still have not heared from her I hope that she is okay wherever she is KATANA MARU CHAN I LOVE YOU!@!!!!!

"Hello is this thing on?" Said Mr. Jone's as he appeared on my computer screen. Mr. Jone's was a fat man with no hair on his head and a beard shaped like a sword, his eyes were bright red from blood consumpcion and he was white, he used to be in the Ku Klux Klam but he got chased out for being too racist.

Hi my name is Seth Standmore I'm nine teen year's old and I used to work at Smart and final, well that is until my boss Mr. Jean's and my former best friend Arthur got me fired, now I'm suing them for all there worth whitch is not a lot lol. I have long messy black hair and I mostly wear black hoodys and ripped blue jone's. Today I was on my Lenovo computer and looking at my Dell monitor, I wished that I was streaming a cool game like Apex Legends or Meth Blister but, unforutnately fate had other plan's.

"Yeah I can hear you." I said to Mr. Jone's thru my gritted teeth, I was clenching my mouth so hard. "It's good to see you Mr. Jone's." I lied, because I was angry at Mr. Jone's.

We were skyping on Discord to talk abut the sttlement from being fired from Smart and final, my lawyer Homura Johnson (AN this part is not real I didnt have a lawyer IRL) was standing behind me with her hand on my shoulder, Homura Johnson is a fourteen year old girl from Birmingham Alabama studying law at the Nodachii Sword Academy, she is a lesbian but she still really like's guy's, but I would never date her because I'm not a pedophile like that son of a bitch Arthur, she is however one of my closest friend's and ally's, I have marched with her in the Pride Parade and shielded her from homophone's throwing tomatoe's at her, because of this she is thanking me by being my lawyer for free.

"Mr. Jone's" said Homura Johnson running a hand thru her shiny black hair, "we are here today because the settlement you offered my client was too embarrassingly small, just like your dick, we need a much larger settlement."

"Yes I ubderstabd." Said Mr. Jone's eating a donut, he got powered sugar on his dirty Smart and final manager's uniform. "How does ten cent's sound?"

"Ten cent's. That is insulting." I angrily mattered running a hand thru my messy black hair.

Homura Johnson put her hand on my shoulder comfortingly, "It's okay Seth we'll get him next time now if there's nothing else y9ou want to talka bout Mr. Jone's then we will see you in court!!!"

Just then the computer changed, instead of Mr. Kone's on the screen there was a jet black colored face of a bug lady with green cat eye's and a long jaggered horn that resembled the horn of Queen Chrysalis from my favorite cartoon My little pony Friendship is magic, she had fang's and long greasy green hair that looked like she combed it with mayonnaise. I gasped.

"Are you Queen Chrysalis." Said I in surprise.

Queen Chrysalis alughed. "Yes Seth, it is I the queen of the changeling's, I have come to visit you on your computer screen to tell you that my people and I are coming to your house later to take it over as our new base of operation's from whitch to conquer Canterlot, soon you will be my slave and I will absorb all the love in your body, then I will be more than a match for that p[ink bitch Princess Candidiasis!"

My splot screen happened on my second minotaur, Mr. Jone's was on it now wearing a ku klux klam uniform with the Snart and final logo sketched on it, he was growning angrily at Queen Chrysler. "Mr. Standmore what the buy some apple's is going on here, who is this strangely alluring black faced bug lady."

"That is queen chrysalis from My Little Pony Friendship is magic, she is the queen of the changelings even tho she got disposed in the season finale of season six she is still a powerful villain who wants to reclaim her throne from her foolish minion Thorin, but why is she here I thought she was a cartoon."

"Cartoons? Ha, cartoons are for foolish children!" Mr. Jone's snackered racistly.

That made Queen Chrysalis very furious. "How dare you, you mediocre dunce, I'll have you dead!!!" She jumped from my first minotaur and into the monitor where Mr. Jone's was waiting, Mr. Jone's screamed like a racist coward as Queen Chrysalis appeared on his monitor, screaming.

"AAAAAAH THERE IS A CARTOON CHNARACTER IN MY MONITOR ARTHUR SAVE ME!!!" He said calling for my friend Arthur who isn't my friend anymore.

Arthur went into the screen frame then armed with a baseball bat but, Queen Chrysalis's horn turned green the color of bile and zapped his baseball bat into baseball bashes, it vanished from Arthur's hand's and he pleaded for mercy getting on his knees, but that was a distraction as Mr. Jone's snacked up on her wielding a long knife shaped like Hitler's mustache, he swung it but the blade bounced off of Chrysalis's powerful armored shell and she reared back and kicked him hard in the stomach, "heh nothing personnel" She growerd at Mr. Jone's as he gasped on the ground.

Arthur's face got red with rage and he swung his fist's at Queen Chrysalis, it looked like it hit her but in reality she was moving so fart that it looked like she was standing still, Queen Chrysalis laughed and bit ARthur in the nose and pulled it off of his face, "heh got you're nose," she chuckered at him. Arthur cried now, he was ugly because he didn't have a nose!!!

Arthur and Mr. Kone's both looked at me and said "Save us Seth Standmore!!! Call off the bug!!!"

My heart was torn as I knew that these people were bad men who would never do anything for me, but I knew I had to do something for them, my grandfather ROY STANDMORE would not be proud of me if I did not do something for weak people who cried out for help, so I mustard my courage and with Homura Johnson's hand on my shoulder "Ztop this Queen Chrysalis!!! I will give you my love if only you will spear them!!!"

Queen Chrysalis said. "Well that sound's like a good deal, hmm hmmhm." She smirked.

And I said to Mr. Loan's and Arthur. "And as for you two in exchange for saving your life's you have to give me the settle-ment I desire."

"Yes of course Seth Stanmode anything you require." They both smucked.

"I want ten billion dollar's."

"Yes of course Seth Stanmode anything you require." They both smucked.

Queen Chrysalis leaped back into her minotaur. She said. "Well my work here is done I'll be by soon to collect your love let's have sex." Then she was gone.

Homura Johnson put her hand on my shoulde.r And said. "Well done Seth Standmore. You did it."

"Yes I did." I ran my hand thru my messy nlack hair. "And all it took was the power of queen chrysalis. I guess that conclude's Negotiation's."

THE END

Comments

[The Blue EM2]

Either you can't spell or you're doing it on purpose.

[Ice Star]

10521887
Why are you so salty? Seth Standmore is a budding writer and your remark doesn't help him cultivate his unique voice.

[The Blue EM2]

10521890
Really? Others have offered to help, including myself, and all he does is give stupid responses.

I suggested he get Grammerly, to which he wrote endlessly about not having a Steam account. Eh?

[Lead_Colored_Sky]

And this is why I believe in eugenics.

[The REAL Seth Standmore]

10521894 I am So sorry that my story has editing error's in it my gf Katana-Maru-Chan who does my editin is still missing, if you see any grammar error's in my story's you can tell me what they are and as soon as my GF Katana-Maru-Chan return's she will fix them, anyway what did you think of my story

[The Blue EM2]

10531599
To be honest, I struggled to understand what was going on.

Here's a group that I think can help you out; https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors

[EverfreePony]

10531599
Well, I kind of just randomly stumbled upon this comment section, but I might just drop my two cents here. Before your editor returns, you can do a bit of self-editing. For example, don’t put an apostrophe (the ‘ mark) before s in plurals and verbs—so, no error’s, but errors, and no return’s, but returns). That’s going to make your writing far more pleasant to look at already. Pretty much don’t touch the apostrophe unless you want to convey that something belongs to someone (Twilight’s mane) or if you are using a contraction such as can’t (cannot), it’s (it is), you’re (you are), and so on. Just a warning, it’s is only a contraction of it is. If you want to convey that something belongs to a certain it, then it’s going to be its without an apostrophe.

[The REAL Seth Standmore]

10613746 Thanckx's for the feedbag, what is a apostacy

[EverfreePony]

10617804
Uh, apostasy is a religious term, but I don’t think you meant that. If you’re asking what’s an apostrophe, that this punctuation mark (this one ‘ (enlarged it a bit), that looks identical to a single quote). You just used it in Thanckx's between x and s. (Even though it shouldn’t be there, it’s Thanks )

[The REAL Seth Standmore]

10617895 thanckx's you for pointing this out

[PresentPerfect]

here's hoping katana maru chan is just too busy playing meth blister to talk :c