• Published 29th Aug 2012
  • 22,914 Views, 2,453 Comments

Bros in Equestria - Mandroid

  • ...

PreviousChapters Next
Cutting Loose.

As you approached the party, you saw that the interior of the bakery seemed to be empty. The ponies clustered outside saw the two of you walking up and greeted you with waves and smiles. You saw a familiar pink mare poke her head out of a particularly large cluster and gallop over to the two of you.

"Anon! Mous! You two got here just in time!" Pinkie hollers.

You look around and the groups of ponies socializing, there had to be at least 30 out here alone.

"I don't know Pinkie, it looks like we showed up pretty late." you say.

"Don't be silly, Anon!" she says with a wide grin. "I had to make sure the party got going before the guests of honor showed up!"

That was...an odd practice. But you weren't about to get in an argument at a party. Pinkie zipped to the back of the house, you followed and signaled Mous to do the same.

"There better be something that qualifies as dinner here." he grunts.

It's a party." you explain. "At a bakery. Do you really think there won't be any food?"

Pinkie leads the two of you to an open basement door. Inside you see flashing lights and ponies from wall to wall. There is a small clearing in the middle for those who were dancing. Off to the sides you see doorways that lead to smaller satellite rooms.

You turn to Pinkie "Why the basement!?" you shout over the music.

"Having the party down here means the Cakes don't hear it!" she shouts back.

The three of you walk down the stairs. There was a confections table set up in the corner next to a jukebox. You make your way over to the table and sample some of the punch. Damn, that punch had a hell of a kick. You turn to see Mous had followed you over. Dammit, he always does this. Following you because he doesn't want to talk to anyone.

"Are you just gonna follow me all night?" you ask.

"If I have to." he says with a shrug.

Yeah, he wasn't gonna go on his own accord. Time for plan B: You had to ditch him.

You looked for something you could use to slip away, not an easy task in a group of four foot tall ponies. You spot a game that looks a lot like Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Deciding that that was your best bet, you head over. You take a seat near the crowd, bringing you down to eye level with them. Now all you had to do was wait.

After a few minutes, you looked up to make sure that Mous was still watching the game. It seemed to be holding his attention, this was your chance. You edged you way into the crowd of ponies behind you, keeping as low as possible. You made best speed for another room and got up to walk away as soon as you were out of sight. You waited a moment to see if he would come barreling through the door looking for you.

...Nothing. Boss defeated. Bonus Objective Met. Mission Accomplished.

Nice going Star Anon.

You checked out the room you now found yourself in and saw your Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie chatting in the corner.

You walked over and caught Rainbows attention.

"Hey, Anon!" she says.

She flies up and extends a hoof, you instinctively reach out and bump it with your fist. Feelsgoodman.jpg

As you walk over to Twilight and Pinkie and slump decide to slump against the wall for lack of a couch.

"Flying solo tonight?" Rainbow asks.

"Nah. Mous is around, we just split up for the night." you say in the best almost-lie fashion you can.

You didn't want to ditch him, but if he didn't get out there and actually talk to people he would have just followed you around and said nothing until it was time to go home.

"So, how does a Pinkie Pie party compare to the kinds of parties they have back where you come from?" Twilight asked.

You take a glance around. Ponies were socializing, eating sweets and dancing, but no one was passed out in the corner, making out on the stairs of vomiting in the plants. The entire basement seemed to just capture all the good aspects of a party and excise all the bad.

"There are some similarities." you start "But more than a few differences as well. Maybe having fun is a universal constant."

That got a laugh out of Twilight and a smile out of Pinkie but you fear it went over Rainbows head.

You spend time sitting with friends and talking about various subjects, Dash's infatuation with a group called "The Wonderbolts", Twilights research, and half a dozen other topics. The night was headed for the direction of greatness, save for the small nagging sensation in the back of your mind regarding your mission Bro.

You're sure he's fine.

=Mous PoV=

He ditched you. That prick motherfucker ditched you. Your jimmies were rustled, your critters were jittered, you-is that cake?

It was.

Rage later, cake now. You hadn't eaten since lunch, this caked looked like it would hit the spot so you grab a piece and shove it in your mouth.

You could give a half a shit about manners right now. You spot some ponies staring at you out of the corner of your eye.

You turn to them.

"Ishh a hooan hing." you say past the cake.

Damned cake. If you weren't so delicious, I'd have half a mind to spit you out. After you finished inhaling your cake, you tried to remember your previous train of thought. Oh yeah, your bro ditched you in a veritable sea of ponies you didn't know and didn't particularly feel like talking to.

You peer around the room for any sign of Anon. Nothing. Cunting hell. You spot a doorway and make towards it, maybe he slipped in there. You enter the room and don't immediately spot Anon. Dammit. How hard was it to find the only other member of your species here? Maybe he's in the back of the room.

You start to push your way through the barrier of flesh in your way when you hear a familiar accented voice. "Mous! Over here!"

You turn to see Aloe waving at you, Lotus standing behind her near a small table. Boss?...es?

You walk over to their little corner of the room.

"What are you two doing here?

Aloe smiles a warm smile up at you. "We couldn't miss the welcome party of our newest employee, could we?" she says.

Oh Aloe, your good cheer will be the death of me.

"Not to mention that Pinkie Pie invited the entire town." Lotus said grinning.

"You could have just not come, Ma'am." you say.

Lotus raises an eyebrow. "We're not on the clock, you could call us by our names."

You sigh and turn back to the crowd behind you.

"I could, couldn't I?" you say as you glance down in her direction.

You continue to scan the crowd for any sign of Anon. Still, nothing.

"I'll catch up with you two later." you say.

You begin to walk back the way you entered, there was no way you were getting through that wall of ponies. One look into the main room, however, causes you to reconsider.

Fuck. There she was. That mint green unicorn. Lyra. She came into the spa three fucking times yesterday, once with a shit mustache disguise. Each time she brought new levels of creepiness.

You accepted that some ponies might moan as you worked, but not to the extent that Lyra did. It seriously sounded like she was getting off to it. It didn't help that every time she came it she complained about an area dangerously close to her horn.

You scanned the room quickly to avoid being seen. Fuck. There was no way to cross through the room where you wouldn't be seen by her. If you wanted to find Anon, you were going to have to talk to Lyra.


You walk back to Aloe and Lotus and lean against the wall.

"Okay, it's later now, what's up with you two?" you ask as you settle in for the night.

=Anon PoV=

You've been talking to Twilight and Rainbow for a while now. You've spoken to Pinkie whenever she hopped by, but she was the party host and could never stay for too long. Conversation had been fluid between the three of you, with topics ranging from local sports, to magical theory, to your life on Earth.

The magical theory conversation had fascinated you. You had always had an interest in the sciences back on Earth, and your professors said you had a naturally inquisitive mind. Here you were learning about not only an entirely new form of "science", but one that directly subverted other known forms and yet still flowed between them naturally. From ley lines to how pegusi walk on clouds to even the colossal magics Celestia and Luna used to move the heavens, you were enraptured by all of it. It would be so cool if you could find a job learning more about it.

Fuck. You still had to find work.

You tilted your head back as your remembered your situation.

Crap. Ponyville didn't look like it had any laboratories or universities you could look into, just small town stuff.

You sighed as your aspirations of becoming some sort of extra-dimensional wizard went up in smoke.

Twilight must have picked up on your distress "Is something wrong Anon?" she asked.

Rainbow gave you a look as well, "Yeah, you were all into the conversation but you just kinda got this bummed look."

You looked back at the two of them "Oh, I was just thinking. I kinda wanted to learn about the magic here and thought that maybe I could get a job doing something magic related, but Ponyville doesn't seem to have the facilities for something like that." you say.

Twilight put her hoof to her chin in thought "Hmm. I may be able to help you there Anon." she says.

Interest re-ignited, you stopped slumping against the wall and leaned forward. "What do you mean Twi?" you ask.

"Well, I'm always doing research at the library. While Spike is a great assistant, I can always use more hands to help with field work." she says with a smile.

Holy shit that sounds perfect. Just one nagging question.

"Does it pay? We can't live with Mous supporting the both of us." you say.

Twilight smiles again. "I get grants for expenses when I do my research, bringing on an assistant should be covered under that, I think." Money + magic research job + friend as a boss = One happy ass Anon.

"Alright then!" you say louder then you thought as you grab your punch. "A toast to my new job in research."

Twilight and Rainbow get a bit of a knowing grin as they toast their cups with you. As you down the punch, you marvel once again at how good it's kick. What did Pinkie Pie put in this anyway? Whatever it tasted great.

=Mous PoV=

This wasn't as bad as you had thought. At least if you were stuck at a party, it was with two ponies you knew. You had a bit of through traffic as well, Applejack and Rarity had stopped by. Applejack told you that she could have used your help when Anon stopped by earlier to help her carry apples. Maybe next time. Rarity had stopped by to report to the three of you that the spa uniform Aloe and Lotus called her in to measure for today would be done by the end of the week. Cool. Everything was settling into place nicely.

Some time passed and the conversation died down.

Well that won't do.

"The accent you two have is similar to one we have back where I'm from. Where did you two live before you came here?" you ask.

Lotus turned to you as Aloe finished a piece of cake she had just gotten.

"We lived with our mother and father just outside of Stalliongrad." she said.

Stalliongrad. That makes sense.

"We moved here shortly after discovering out cutie marks." she continued.

"Were there many day spas in Stalliongrad?" you ask

This time it was Aloe who answered. "No, that's why we got ours. Our father worked in the factories and our mother in the restaurants. They were so tired when they came home every day that we decided to try and help them by rubbing out the tension. After some experimentation with lotions and aromas, we discovered these had shown up." she said as she showed you her flank.

Hehe. 'Rub out the tension.'

Shut up brain, it was her father. That's gross.

=Anon PoV=

The party began to die down, only a few stragglers remaining. Twilight and Rainbow had left about twenty minutes ago and you had spent the time talking to a lovely grey pegasus about his sweet mohawk. You began to make your way to the main room to get going only to discover that your coordination had taken a nosedive. Leave it to Pinkie Pie to spike the damn punch.

With a hand on the wall, you tried your damndest to make your way to the door. Crossing over the dance floor seemed a bit easier, the ponies still on it thinking you were doing some impromptu alien dance or something. You reached the door and came face to face with your worst drunk enemy.


A quick flex of your balance told you that you weren't going to get up those stairs without a bruise or two. Nah fuck that brain. We can do it. Maybe if you just crawl up slow... You trip over your foot which you could swear wasn't there a second ago and brace for an impact that never comes, you stopping suddenly in the air. A familiar head loops your arm around it and hauls you up the stairs.

"mous! there you are! did you ednjoy your party?" you ask.

You can see him grin. "Not as much as you did, it seems." he says as he leads you onto the path home.

"oh, lighten up. you gotta enjoy the life here man! we could be here for a long ass time and you'rre jus sitin' around wit a stick sup your ashs." you say.

"I have my fun." he says.

Yeah, right. Mous was the biggest stick in the mud ever at parties. Why did you even hang out with this guy? Oh yeah, because he saved you from being concussed and is carrying you home.

"So how was your night?" he asks.

"oh izt was great!" you say. " i talked with twilight and rainbow bout a buncha cool stuff asnd twilight gave gme ta job ais hper research buddy!"

Your brain could tell that you were drunk, but at the same time, didn't seem to give a fuck.

You eventually reach your apartment after you try to explain how a ley line works followed by a spirited performance of Puttin' on the Ritz. Heh. Spirited. You were funny.

Mous leaves you leaning on a wall as he grabs the last roll of bread in the house and shoves it in your mouth.

"Eat this." he says.

You munch down on your new snack as Mous leads you into your room, you knocking over the contents of the hallway on your way, and tosses you on your bed. He leaves the room and returns a second later with a metal bucket and sets it down next to your bed.

"Finish that. Don't choke. Puke in there if you have to." he says standing over you. "Anything else?"

"tell sme a story." you say.

He gives you a look.

"This is the tale of the drunk guy who got on his roommates nerves with stupid drunken requests and got to sleep in the couch for the third night in a row." he says as he walked out of the room, hitting the lights on the way out.

"night bro!" you call out.

A resounding "THUMP" on your door was your response. Mous could be cool, when he wanted. You were out within minutes.

=Mous PoV=

Okay, Anon is out. You walk around the apartment locking doors and picking up all the crap that got knocked over. The entire time you were thinking. You were the one who brought up the concept of the both of you being here for an extended period of time and you were just treating it as some irritating vacation. You didn't want to wind up being stuck here for a year and have spent the entire time pissed off.

You already had some friends, even if you worked for two of them. It couldn't hurt for you to cut loose every once in a while. You were about to go to bed when you heard a loud "BANG" from your front door.

"What now?"

You walk to the door and throw it open, already pissed off at whoever was out there. You look down at your feet. A rock, maybe the size of your fist, had hit the door. A look at the door showed a large dent where the rock had hit. You look out for whoever threw the rock and your eyes settle on three familiar ponies standing about twenty yards from your doorstep. Fucking Whistleblower and his cronies.

This prick must have followed you when you were carrying Anon home.

"What is your problem guy!?" you yell.

You walk out and shut the door behind you.

"You are you menace! How else do you explain the entire town going to a block party and keeping everyone awake so soon after you show up here?" he shouts back

You try and work your head around that particularly grating form of doublethink.

"If the entire town was at the party, THEN WHO THE HELL WERE WE KEEPING UP!?" you shout. This guy assaulted your home, you were not a happy camper. He ignores your question and throws another rock. It sails wide to the right.

"Get out of our town!" he cries.

"So what, you're here to run me out of town? There's another guy here, you know." you say.

He scrapes his hoof on the ground in front of him.

"I'll get rid of your influence any way I can! And a passed out drunk will be easy to haul away once you're gone." he boasts

This guy was getting on your last nerve. It would be easy to walk back inside and ignore him, he probably doesn't have to balls to actually break any windows or anything, but Anon's words come into your head. "You're just sitting around with a stick up your ass."

Looking back at this guy lights a fire in your veins, you didn't want to just let him off. You think for a moment of the consequences of your actions versus how much time you might be here for.

... Okay. Time to cut loose. In the only way you knew how to in these situations.

You walk back inside and grab your stereo and the CD nearby it. You bring them both outside and set them up.

"What is that?" yelled Whistleblower.

"Music. If we're doing this, we're doing it right." you say without turning.


The music starts and your heart beat falls in line with it. You used to spar to this song.

"Come on." you say, wagging your hand at Whistleblower. You toss a few punches in Whistleblower's direction as the music gets going.

He scrapes his hoof on the ground again and charges you.

"Not today." you think.

You whirl around to gain some momentum and the back of your boot meets the front of his head. Whistleblower goes flying off to the side and you turn your attention to his friends. The unicorn is still staring mouth agape, but the pegasus lifts off and rushes you. You jump to the side as he passes and has to pull up to avoid hitting the house. From his vantage point, he tries to divebomb you. You sidestep just in time to avoid a collision this time. You had to take him out of the fight fast.

The pegasus came around for another pass but this time you were ready for him. As he came within a few feet of you, you jumped up and grabbed him behind the shoulder. He couldn't counter your added weight and crashed to the ground. As the two of you slid, you pressed your weight into him to drive him further into the dirt. You stop moving and get up, sparing a glance down at the unmoving pegasus. He was still breathing, and you could hear some moans escape him.

Two down.

You notice some blue flashes out of the corner of your eye accompanied by the what felt like wind on your back. You turn to see the unicorn standing over Whistleblower, his horn still glowing from recent discharge. He must have noticed that his magic wasn't doing anything to you because he starting throwing chunks of earth at you with panic in his eyes. You capitalize on his fear and charge him, sidestepping dirt clods along the way. You get close to him and he raises another clod.

Fuck. No time to dodge. Gotta get ballsy.

As he hurls the dirt at you, you swing out with a fist and hit the clod as best you can. The dirt pours over you both as the clod shatters. Shit. That hurt more then you thought it would. Wanting to end this quickly, you grab the unicorn by his horn. Magical blasts spring forth from the horn and are funneled by your hand out the tip, arcing across the sky. You drag the unicorn down to the ground by his appendage, you let go as you draw your foot back.

"Boot to the head!" you call out.

Your boot connects to the second pony of the night as he flies a few feet and hits the ground. You overlook the ponies spread out across your yard, they would be bruised, but should be fine. You kneel down to the brown colt at your feet and grab his ear.

"Enjoy the rest of your evening, Mister Whistleblower." you whisper with a smirk.

You grab your stereo as the song ends and take it inside. The couch was good enough for it for now, you wanted to sleep. You quickly clean off your hand in the bathroom. A few scrapes, but nothing too noticeable. You change into sleep pants and lay down. You take a quick inventory of the day's events. Did work. Got paid, Went to a party. Met some friends. Even if you didn't want to go in the first place, Accepted that you could be here for a while and decided to finally cut loose a bit, the mustard colored marine figures around your room would be proud.

You settle in to sleep, your fan lulling you there. Today was a good. day

PreviousChapters Next