Estrus.
You were Rainbow Dash, and you just got back into town. You'd been gone for a few days and boy, did you feel it. Cloudsdale was cool and all, but all your friends were in Ponyville.
It was also Hearts and Hooves Day, and you had a plan. You were gonna march right up to Anon's house, look him straight in the eye and do...something.
Buck. This was harder then you thought.
What did humans even do for this kind of thing? What if Anon was some sort of stud and had this happen all the time? You're cursing through town when you smell something foul.
"Oh gross!" you shout.
You start to look for the source of the smell when you spot a large group of ponies headed through town square. You fly high to get a better look, all of them seem to be really happy, but their eyes are kinda glossed over. You notice something else weird; all of them were mares. You see Applejack, Fluttershy, even Pinkie Pie is bouncing around in the crowd.
"Man, what is up?"
You fly closer to try and ask and you notice that the smell gets worse the closer you get.
Just then, your wings seize up and you begin to fall. You right yourself quickly and land on a nearby roof as the horde of mares moves past you.
"Man, what now!?"
Your wings never did this, the only time they did was when you were...
Oh buck.
All the mares, the season, Hearts and Hooves day.
"It can't be! It's way too early!" you shout.
You look in the directions the mares were headed. Right towards Anon and Mous's house. That proves it.
You take off as fast as you can, you HAD to get there before they all did.
You were Anon and you were having a wonderful time being asleep. It being quiet and dark in your living room was a plus too. It was great to just hang out with Mous yesterday, but he had always been able to drink you under the table. You're nursing your hangover in comfortable silence when something starts banging at your door.
You groan as you roll over and try to ignore the sound, fucking Celestia's Witness can piss off right now. Despite your best efforts, the knocking continues. You can hear Mous groaning as he no doubt tries to do the same as you and block the noise out.
Eventually, it becomes too much for him.
"WWWHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?" he shouts with enough fury to practically blow out the windows.
Fuck! That is not helping your hangover!
"Dude!" you cry out.
"WHAT!?" Mous yelled back, obviously still pissed at being woken up.
He hated being woken up.
"Guys! It's me! You gotta open up!" a voice cries.
Huh? Rainbow?
"Is that Rainbow?" you ask as you rise from the couch.
"I don't fucking know." Mous says as he shoots up. "Hang on."
You hear Mous grumble about being woken up two days in a row as he unlatches the door. Rainbow Dash cannonballs past Mous and into the living room
"Do those windows lock? Is there enough food here? How fast can you guys run?" she starts asking at a mile a minute.
Mous slams the door and causes your hangover to flare again. "Rainbow Dash, you have thirty seconds to tell me why you are here waking us up before I take my hangover rage out on you." he spits as he trudges into the living room.
"C'mon Dash, tell us what's up." you say.
Dash still looks upset. "We need to get out of here." she says turning to you.
Mous pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why."
Rainbow turned back to him. "Because it's happening! Right now!"
Mous's eyes went wide as his frustration mounted. "My Friday getting ruined!?" he shouted.
You step between the two of them.
"Whoa!" you say as you try and get Rainbow and Mous to back down. Dealing with these two going at it was not on your to-do list.
You turn and look Rainbow in the eyes.
"What's going on Rainbow?" you ask. She's still on edge, eyes wide and darting around the room.
"There's no time! They're gonna be here any minute and we have to you both out!" she cried.
"Rainbow." you start as you take a few steps towards her, it must be the light because her face looks a bit darker. "We can't just start running somewhere without knowing what we're running from." you say.
"I'd prefer a straight fight anyhow." Mous says.
You turn to your bro. "Like the manticore?"
His frown deepens and he shrinks back.
"Come on, this could be serious." you say.
"What's going on, Dash?" you ask. She brings a hoof to her face.
"Fine, if you won't come along otherwise, it's Estrus season." she says.
"What's an Estrus?" you ask. Her face is darker again...
"Estrus season..." she begins. "I-It happens to mares around this time every year. Our brains get all messed up a-and all we can focus on is..." she mumbles something under her breath and turns her head away.
You lean in a bit closer. "Focus on what, Rainbow?"
She looks back at the two of you, you've never seen her this nervous.
"M-mating. All we can focus on is mating."
"Oh hell..." you hear Mous say behind you.
Pony mating season...wow. You didn't even know they had a mating season. But still, it must be normal for them.
"So...why are you here? Shouldn't you be out trying to find some fit young stallion?" you ask.
You hear Mous sigh about something again as Rainbow speaks.
"T-that's just it, the stallions have left. Every Estrus season, the available stallions either leave or barricade themselves indoors until everything is back to normal."
A bunch of males of a species turning away from all of their females going into heat? That doesn't sound like the biology you knew.
"Why would they do that?" you ask.
Rainbow's face is still acting weird as she lands and explains. "Well...some mares can become a little...intense during Estrus." she says.
Okay...so these ponies get so worked up that they chase away all the males every year? Harsh.
"So why are you here, Rainbow? What's this have to do with us?" you ask.
Rainbow jumps up on the couch to look at you both at eye level.
"Because you two are the only males of any species left in the entire town! I can't just leave you here!" she shouts.
This mare. Looking out for you even when the town goes nuts.
Mous walks away as you continue. "Thanks Bro, that means a ton." you give her a quick hug and try to suppress the laugh you get when you see her shocked face. "But still, I doubt we're in danger. The ponies here like us, but I doubt they're gonna try and molest us or something."
"I wouldn't be so sure." You hear Mous say.
You turn to see Mous looking out the door's peephole. "Why, bro?"
"Because I'm pretty sure the entire town is outside." he says.
Oh shit. You run up to the peephole and look out. Fuck. There had to be at least two hundred mares out on the trail heading towards your house.
"They can't all be here for us." you say as you scope out the herd outside.
"Why else would they all come out here, dude?" Mous counters.
You pull back from the peephole. Okay, this was happening. Fuck.
"What do we do?" you ask.
Mous thinks for a minute. "Okay, go get changed. Put on something with pocket space, a T-shirt, and some running shoes. Grab a jacket too." he orders.
You run back to your room and hear Mous step into his. You think you hear Rainbow come fluttering in as you remove your shirt, but she's in the hall when you look.
"S-so, you're just gonna trust Mous on this?" she asks.
"Mous has always been the quick thinker." you say. "He's the best guy to have during a crises."
You throw on your jacket and head back to the door, Mous walking out of his room shortly after you. "So, what's the plan?" you ask.
He looks through the peephole as he talks. "I want you and Rainbow to head out through the rear window in your room, run for Whitetail woods. Rainbow, how long does Estrus last?"
"About four or five days if it's this early." she says.
"If today is day one, stay in the woods all weekend. I'll come find you if it lasts for less than that." he says.
"Wait, you're not coming?" you ask.
He better not be doing what you thin-
"Rainbow, take care of him." he says as he opens the door and walks out.
That mutherfu-
-Mous PoV-
-Music-
You shut the door. Okay. Show time. Anon would be pissed that you were doing this, but you can handle it. And if not. It's your job to protect him.
You start walking away from your door towards the approaching mares. Damn, they were all here. Roseluck and her sisters, Applejack, Fluttershy, you saw Pinkie Pie hopping around in the rear somewhere. Even Derpy wasn't immune to the Estrus effects it seemed.
The mares were closing in, you could see their glazed over eyes already. Had to stop them here, you really hoped this works... You unsheathe your knife and throw it down on the ground in front of you.
Big boy voice time.
"I KILL EVERYTHING I FUCK!"
The mares in front suddenly stop running.
The mares behind them trip over those in front and fall down. Eventually, a parameter of mares is established some forty feet out.
Heh. That got 'em.
-Anon PoV-
He did not just do that.
Did he just do that?
You can't believe he just did that.
"Should we help him?" Rainbow asks.
You turn and lean against the door as you think. Mous knew what he was doing, that much is clear. He wouldn't go out without a plan, right? You remind yourself that he was drunk last night, he was probably just winging this.
Perfect...
You remind yourself of your own hangover as you try to decide your course of action.
"Mous can take care of himself, he bought us the chance to run and we should use it." you say.
You make for the window in your room. Once you get it open, you get to enjoy the ecstasy of trying to climb through a small window with a hangover.
You eventually get out and fall on your face.
You really wish you could just lay there, but it's time to move.
You watch as Rainbow just flies through that you busted your balls to get through with annoyance before you break into a run. You make for the tree line behind your house as you try to stay out of sight of any wandering mares. You can still hear Mous shouting from the other side of the house, though you can't make anything out.
You turn to Rainbow "Let's go."
It seemed that indeed EVERY mare in town had headed over to your house. You make good time to the woods, taking a chance that all the mares would still be at the house as you crossed through town.
Whitetail woods' premier attraction may be the Running of the Leaves in fall, but it's no worse in the late winter. The lack of leaves however, doesn't do wonders for your need for cover. You and Rainbow have to head doubly deep into the woods to find a suitable camp site.
You eventually find a small cave in a hill, a stream enough for water and you can see Sweet Apple Acres from the top. You're sure the Apple's wouldn't mind if you nicked a couple of their crop in your hour of need. Especially since one of them was just outside your home trying to solicit you.
Rainbow flies up to you, she looks on edge for some reason.
"You okay, bro?" you ask.
"Hehe...yeah." she says with a small smile. "I'm gonna go get some firewood." she says before she bolts off.
You use the time to wash your face off in the stream. The cold water breaks up your hangover almost as fast as liquid rainbow did.
Your mind goes back to what Mous did. You remember when he saved your ass from a Rottweiler back when you were ten, and when he chased a bunch of pricks with his mother's car because they were picking on you.
All that and he's still able to stare all those ponies in the face and stop them like that. You laugh as you remember who you're thinking about; Mous was way too stubborn to be dragged away by a group of horny mares.
Yeah...you're sure he's fine...
-Mous PoV-
Holy shit. This was working. Nopony was taking a step towards the house. None of them wanted to be the one to find out if you were kidding. Might as well capitalize on it.
You open your arms wide as you speak.
"All right now! I'm glad that we've come to an understanding." you shout.
You gesture behind you to your house.
"I'm going to go back inside now. If I catch anypony inside..."
You turn and take a few steps before looking over your shoulder back at the crowd that had gathered.
"...I'll assume the worst and open you up like a piñata."
You scoop you knife up from the ground and make for the door.
This was probably the only time that something invoking David Bowie's name was used to REPEL females.
You step inside your house and close the door. You immediately look outside the peephole to ensure that you didn't have a stampede of sex crazed mares to deal with. You can see everypony talking amongst themselves. All of them look afraid. Some of them are even shouting with fear in their eyes.
"Oh come on, I'm not that scary."
You shake your head as that moment of idiocy passes. Come on Mous, this is what you want.
Wait for it...
...YES! They're leaving! They're all leaving!
You pump your fist at your plan working. This was great, all you had to do was stay holed up over the weekend and get Anon and you're home free.
Your victory is interrupted by a crash coming from Anon's room. Knife in hand, you inch your way back to intercept any mares who might have broken in.
You leap through the doorway and spot... Aloe and Lotus laying on the floor?
"Bosses?"
"Mous!" they call out in unison.
What the shit? Why were your bosses here in your...
Oh no...
"Mous! It's...so nice to see you." Lotus says as she gets herself upright.
"Yeah! Hehe...really nice..." Aloe says right after.
Aw no. No no no.
"How did you two get in here?" you ask.
You back away, have to keep them at a distance.
"Oh...we found that open window and let ourselves in" Lotus says.
Fucking hell Anon. You left the window open. Gotta get em out.
"You two..."
You set your knife down on the nearby table.
"Really shouldn't be here." you say.
"Yeah, we heard your speech outside." Aloe says with a smile.
Lotus steps forward.
"You forget Mous, we know you. We know you won't actually hurt us." she says.
Shiiiit. They were right. At least about them. You liked your job, you liked your bosses. You really don't want to hurt them. You continue backing up until you can think of a plan.
You trip over the fucking table and land on your ass, Aloe and Lotus don't miss a beat. They begin to walk to either side of you as you sit there dumbfounded.
"Sooo...Mous. How are we going to do this? Lotus says drawing close. "Shall I go first?" she says as she tries to nuzzle your face.
"Or maybe me?" Aloe smirks as she closes in on your other side.
Lotus steps over your stomach to her sister. "Or perhaps..."
...Did she just lick her?
"Together?"
You tune out their giggling as you try to think. Okay. Fuck. You need an emergency plan.
Could you...? Best you got.
You crack a nervous smile and bring your hands up behind each of their heads. You start to rub the backs of their necks...people did that in these situations, right?
"Mmmmmm...Mous, it was a good thing we taught you the art of the massage...this will be heavenly..." Lotus says.
"Y-Yeah..." you sputter out.
Work your way up a bit...NOW! You grab the both of them by their hair and bolt down the hall as fast as your legs can carry you
BATHROOM! QUICK!
You toss one of the sisters, you can't even tell which one, into the bathroom and quickly shut the door. You start hauling it to Anon's bathroom as the remaining sister wriggles in your grasp.
"Mous! Stop! This hurts!" she cries.
NOT NOW.
You toss her in the bathroom and jam a nearby chair under the handle. Hooves or no, you can't risk them getting out. You run to the other bathroom and do the same just as the pony inside was figuring out the lock.
"Mous!" "Let us out!" you hear them yell as you sink back onto the wall.
"YOU'LL COME OUT WHEN YOU AREN'T TRYING TO SEDUCE ME!" you shout.
Fuck, are you rustled. Deep breaths...
Okay... Two sex crazed mares that you happen to work for locked in your bathrooms for the next three days and you can't risk them getting out?
You can do this.
-Anon PoV-
Day turned to night as your first day with Rainbow in the woods came to a close. You had grabbed a few apples from Sweet Apple Acres and the fire was crackling away. Conversation was null as you just poked at the fire and Rainbow sat a small distance away.
Her wings were swollen again, what's the deal with that?
"You okay Bro?" you ask.
You can see her head sink after you ask. "Yeah...Anon. I'm fine."
"You sure? You can come sit by the fire." you offer. Rainbow Dash looks back at you with a frown.
"I don't think that's a good idea Anon."
Huh? "Why not?"
She gets up and trots over to you, she looked pissed. "Because I'm a mare too, Anon. The Estrus is starting to affect me too." she looks a bit sad with that last bit...
"Is that why..." you point up to her wings.
She sighs and just stares at the fire. "No, that's not because of the Estrus."
You scoot a bit closer to comfort your bro."I, uh...I read about pegusi wings. I...know why they get like that." This isn't weird at all. "So...who's the lucky stallion?"
Rainbow just looks at you with sad eyes. "It's not a stallion, Anon."
Whoa. Uh. You probably should have guessed, RAINBOW Dash and all.
"That's cool, so, what's her name? Do I know her?" you ask.
Rainbow lifts off from her seat by the fire and flies to the mouth of the cave.
"It's not a pony, Anon."
Guess interspecies was a thing here, you had heard that Dash had a Griffin friend, so it must be sort of common.
"Well, that's cool too, you can't help who you like." she's getting more frustrated though you can't imagine why."So, you still haven't said wh-"
"Anon, it's you."
Stats
Page generated in 0.031 seconds
Total duration
671 users online
822,541 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Lol. Looks like Anon is faring better than Mous right now.
mous just fucking run
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/19905146.jpg
images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/10/29/b16f9799-15de-40e5-a2ec-81b8128874eb.jpg
but seriously sex zombies lol
ZOMBITCHES
listen to 3:10 when reading about the whole town in front of the house. scared me shiteless
Typo Detected! Standard situation, 14-17-14.2 (Missing begining quotation mark)
You forget Mous, we know you. We know you won't actually hurt us." she said.
-----
I KNEW IT! Welp, they're litterally fucked/Death by Snu-Snu/What other too much sex jokes are there?
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltw90pj4Ts1qij1mgo2_500.gif
ANON GET DA FUCK......OUTTA THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7404328 Error: Comment can not be retrieved from the stupid shit void.
I played a record scratch sound effect when Mous threw down David and screamed
2055530
I actually considered putting a record scratch sound effect in there, but decided against it.
"I KILL EVERYTHING I FUCK!" Yes.
brilliant sir, just brilliant!
Replace robots with mares and you have yourself a soundtrack.
Shit just got real!!
Wow anon is thick
Oh sheyat Anon is a lucky bastard
Typical Anon is typical Anon.
Oh, and this is for Mous later as he will be inevitably forced to run for his continued good health:
2720046
That's what Rainbow would like to be able to say.
2079012 I FUCK EVERYTHING I KILL!
...sorry that sounds sick
A tactic I've had to use on multiple occasions. Also known as 'The Mantis Bluff'. I shit you not, using The Mantis Bluff could save your ass from unwanted snu-snu more often than you'd want to admit. Take it from me, I had to use it in high school.
6254005 this deserves WAY more likes than it has
Anon is denser than a solid led wall.
6602538 He is denser then black matter.
7093366 He's denser than pure gold
Aaaaaaand, the pin has dropped. Y'know that really big thing? The universe, yeah. Y'know how thick it is?
Yeah, Anon is thicker
I almost tried to read that as I FUCK EVERYTHING I KILL and that began to mentally tramautize me until I was like
Oh wait
Thats not what it said, silly me
Then what he really said sank in, and I was right back there.
Also this came to mind
derpicdn.net/img/2013/1/27/225229/full.jpg
6602538
Come back years later to find you misspelled lead with led.
i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/000/554/picard-facepalm.jpg
8530367
Just realized the amazingness of replying exactly two years later by total coincidence.
8138235
I feel like that's a step down from black matter.