Localized Numbness.
=Author's note: All dialogue from Mous's brain will be in green.=
You stir from your sleep. Wait... something's off. No Celestia making her sun blind your ass to start off they day? What's the occasion?
You throw back your curtains and look outside. The sky is grey. The wind is howling. It's also raining. Sideways.
"Oh."
So that's what's up. Wait. You still had to walk to work in this.
"Oh dicks."
No. Don't wanna.
Fuck you brain, we've been in this fucking room for two days. It's time to get out.
You ignore your brain and roll off your bed.
Literally roll off. You land on your face.
"Ow. Fuck."
Right, okay. Those painkillers were a bit stronger then you thought. You push yourself off the ground and manage to stand. You hobble your way over to your door, you get the hang of walking again by the time you make it. Hard part's over.
Step 1: Food.
Solution: Two rolls of bread and some water.
Fucks given: None. It was cheap and filling.
You spy both Rainbow and Anon still asleep on the couch. Anon wasn't wearing his shirt. You don't want to know. You finish eating and make your way to the bathroom. You throw your shirt off and start removing the bandages covering your back. The scars from the Manticore were noticeable, but Zecora's burning potion thing made them blend well enough.
You turn on your shower and step in. Should you tell Anon about Rainbow? It's been obvious to you since she started showing up to watch movies so often. It would be nice to rip this band-aid of awkwardness off fast and just get on with it.
...No. Anon had to figure this out for himself. Anon was the smartest guy you knew, but he could be pretty damned thick at times. Even you had to point out how close he was getting to his last girlfriend. Uhg. That fucking 200 pound secretary.
Stupid cunt. Fuck her.
As you shower, you take a moment to notice that you are covering yourself in water to go outside and get covered in water. The irony would be delicious if you weren't going to hate it so much.
You feel a bit more lucid after your shower. More aware. That's good, Aloe and Lotus would probably get mad if you came into work stoned. A quick peek outside shows you that this rain doesn't seem intent on letting up any time soon. You decide to wear some normal clothes while you walk and change when you get to the spa.
You grab a work outfit from your dresser. Matching stark white shirt and pants. Rarity had made them when you started working at the spa. You personally thought they were too white when coupled with your pasty skin. The only different color on your entire body when you wore them was your hair, you had even started to grow out your beard just to add a little fucking variety. But getting these soaked wasn't an option so they went in your bag.
You threw on some jeans and a shirt and made for the door. Sweatshirt on to block at least some of the rain and bag over your shoulder, you opened the door.
Yep. Still raining sideways. Shit.
You spot a fluttering grey figure in a yellow poncho by your mailbox.
"Hey Derpy." you call out over the wind.
She spots you and gets that big smile of hers.
"Hey Mous!" she says as she flies up to you. It must be hard for her to fly in this weather.
That was why you were friends with Derpy, she never let stupid shit like a nor'easter stop her.
"Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor hail, huh Derpy?" you say as you return her smile.
Her eyes get a bit more skewed, she puts her hoof to her chin.
"Huh? What's that?" she asks.
"Heh. Never mind Derpy, just something we say where I come from. You headed my way?"
You gesture towards town with your thumb and Derpy beams a smile and nods.
Dude. Fuck. This. Rain. It was coming down in sheets, the wind making those sheets hit you square in the face. You could swear that you were a few steps away from being thrown into Oz.
Did Equestria have an Oz? Was it weirder then Equestria? Your thoughts are interrupted as a fresh burst of rain nails you. Even the company of your favorite mailmare can't overcome the hurdle of the blasting wind and rain. You had to practically yell to get conversation across. From what you could make out; Dinky was doing well in school. Or was going to Hell for the pool, you don't know it was hard to hear.
Probably the first one though.
Derpy flew off to finish her rounds as you two entered town, leaving the last few hundred yards a solo endeavor.
You eventually made it to the spa door and stumbled inside, your cloths were heavy and you were no doubt dripping. You flipped back your hood to see Aloe behind the front desk, trying to stifle a laugh, it seems.
"Welcome back, Rough morning?" she asks.
"I will never be dry again. I could spend a year in the Appleoosian desert and still be damp." you say.
"I'll bet. Lotus! Mous just walked in!" she calls back.
"On my way." you hear your co-boss say.
Lotus walks in through the door. "Mous, welcome back. We're glad tha-"
She takes a look at your new part man-part water form. "Are you sure that you're okay to work? You look like you didn't have a particularly relaxing leave." she says, you think you spot concern in her eyes.
"I have water in places I didn't know I had, but my wounds are all closed up. Just point me to somewhere I can get changed and dry." you say.
Lotus gets a small smile. "You can use the steam room, we haven't had many customers today so it's empty."
Great. The day you bust your ass to come to work is the day nopony shows up.
"Thanks boss." you say as you make your way back.
Lotus bumps you as you walk past. Ha. She hated to be called boss.
You get to the steam room and grab one of the towels nearby. You disrobe and start drying yourself off. You'll throw our clothes in the dryer you use for towels, if it's a slow day then Aloe and Lotus won't mind. Good thing your boxers didn't get damp. It makes sense that business is light today, nopony wanted to be outside in this weather.
Anon and Rainbow had the right idea, be off work, sleep late, stay indoors and watch movies. Perfect recipe for a lazy Saturday. Kinda like the day you first showed up here. You pull your pants on and grab your shirt, satisfied that you were dry enou-
You collapse as a liquid magma hot pain runs along your scars.
"GAH! FUCK!" you shout.
Fucking hell. It felt like the Manticore was dragging it's claws up your back again. Slowly. While on fire.
You get yourself into a seated position and try to relax. Too much relaxation, you accidentally lean back on the coal pit in the center of the room.
"Dammit!" you gasp out as you slam your fist into the coal pit.
You must have made a lot of noise because Lotus comes galloping into the room.
"Mous! What's wrong? Is it your back?" she ask as she bursts in.
You half double over and put your head in your hand as you grimace.
"It's nothing..." you say through clenched teeth.
She wasn't having any of that it seems. "It is not nothing! You're in pain!" she shouts.
"Nothing real, just phantom pains. Probably been having them *gak*" Dammit. Not now. "...since I got hurt, painkillers must have made me not notice them."
"And you're off the painkillers?" Lotus asked.
"Was taking a few at a time. Can't come to work stoned." you say through gasped breath.
The pain was starting to fade a bit.
"Mous...you can't work like this." she says, actual concern in her voice.
Talking to Lotus was always like a game, you had to distract her to actually get the real her out.
"I can't sit at home for another day either, I'll go mental." you say.
You sigh. The pain seemed to have passed, all the was left was a sort of throbbing feeling. You could handle that.
"There. See?" you ask as you rise. "Good as new."
You throw on your shirt, as proof. It hurts, but nothing major.
"Mous, you can't work if this is going to happen again. It's not safe." she says as she looks up at you.
You mull it over. Nopony wanted a masseur who was in pain. Your boss didn't want you to work if you were in pain. But you wanted to work.
The solution was simple: Don't be in pain.
"Then it won't happen again." you say as you head for the door.
"Are you sure?" you hear Lotus call out behind you.
"Positive." you say. "I'll be in my room."
Okay...You could do this.
Aloe wasn't lying when she said it was a slow day. Absolutely NO one had come in since you got there. This was almost as bad as just laying in bed at home. Almost. Not that there weren't downsides to being here other than boredom. As if on cue, the scars on your back flare up. You place a hand on your oil shelf to steady yourself. Damn...this one was lasting longer than the others.
As you try to power through the burning hot agony on your back, you hear someone open the door to your massage room.
"Mous."
You open your eyes to see Lotus peeking her head through the door. She had been checking on you throughout the day after she found you in the steam room. Lotus could be distant at times, but you could tell she worried. You probably would too if you found an employee screaming on the floor from his manticore wounds. Your death grip on the oils rack persists for a moment longer as your pain dies down. You turn your gaze to your employer and put on your best reassuring smile.
"Lotus, I'm fine, you don't need to keep checking up on me." you say.
Liar. 'Fine' is in the Galaxy Far Far Away.
Quiet brain. She must never know.
You must look like crap because she doesn't look very convinced. "I see. I wanted to tell you that you have a customer, she's on her way back." she says.
"Okay. Thanks for the heads up."
She stares a moment longer before she backs out and closes the door. Okay. First customer. Maybe this was just what you needed, somepony to distract you a-
"Howdy there sugarcube."
-And make the situation that much worse.
You slowly turn to meet the tan mare who entered your room. Applejack. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn't send your jimmies into such a spasm. You'd seen Applejack several times since you first noticed her spying on your house and simply played along with her game of "Cat and Mous". But you weren't in the mood to play today. But you also had no choice. You had vowed to get through the day despite the pain, and dammit, that's what you were gonna do.
"Hey AJ. Lay down on the bed and we'll get started." you say without turning.
Okay. Just a normal massage. In and out.
I thought we were trying to avoid that?
Not in the mood brain.
You grab some random lotion off the shelf, you had no idea where anything was after you re-organized for the third time an hour ago. As you maneuvered to her side, you felt high hind leg brush up against your leg. You saw that. She didn't think you did. But you saw that. The perpetual frown you've had on all day grows deeper as you get to work. AJ, for her part, sells it rather well. Her moans echo through the small room as you work your way over her muscles. You try to block it out as you focus on the best plan of action.
Okay; Applejack did a lot of hauling apples, so her back muscles would need work. She also was in charge of bucking the apples, so her legs would need a lot of attention. Crap. This was amounting to an awful lot of rubbing on the mare who you caught trying to watch you exit the shower.
"You're awful quiet today Mous." you heard AJ say.
Shit. You were being quiet today.
"Sorry. We haven't had a lot of customers today, your actually the first. I guess I'm just out of it."
"Mmmm...that's awright. I don't mind silent types." she says.
Dammit AJ. Your relentless flirting would be funny on any day other then today. The constant throbbing in your back picks up with your heartbeat. Dammit...that hurt. You need to find something to focus on.
"So, where does it hurt, AJ?" you ask, ignoring her previous comment.
Should've asked that before. Stupid. Stupid. Get your head in the game.
"My shoulders have been givin' me all sorts'a problems lately." She lifts her head and turns to you, her eyes are lidded. "Anything you can do about that?" she asks.
Your scars flare up in response to your rustled jimmies. Dammit. Not now. Anything you say will come out as a groan, so you just motion for Applejack to lay down again. Had to wrap this up fast. But no way she would just walk out of here without you fixing her shoulders.
She's talking again. Something about electric apples or something. It's all just so much white noise as you try to get her out of here and ignore the ever growing pain in your back. Dammit. It's getting worse. You're out of tricks. You have no idea where this pain she is experiencing is coming from.
You wonder if you could... Just kinda... You stop rubbing for a moment and place your ear on Applejack's back. You had no idea why you were doing this, but it felt like a good idea.
Maybe you can hear the pain, Yeah!
Brain. Why are you talking instead of flooding us with endorphins?
You wonder... If pony joints are similar enough to your joints... The pain in your back has become almost unbearable again. It's all you can do to not scream in Applejack's ears as she talks about whatever. You can't take either of these anymore. You grab Applejack's hooves and pray that you're not about to cripple somepony. In one swift motion you pull Applejack's legs forward and then wrench them back behind her head as far as they'll go. A series of cracks fills the room in unison with Applejack releasing a low moan.
That was...actually rather therapeutic.
Your scars die down a bit, but you can feel them still feel the throbbing increase in intensity. The momentary reprise you just bought yourself was quickly running out.
"So, did that take care of your problem?" you ask.
Applejack looks like she just got off and you make a point of checking to make sure she didn't.
"Sugarcube, I don't know what you did. But you can do it again any time." she says.
You leave her side and open the door.
"Glad to be of service, please talk to Aloe at the front desk about paying." you say with the best smile you can muster.
The pain was coming back. This was a big one, you can feel it. Applejack jumps off the bed and grabs her hat as she leaves. The second she's around the corner, you turn tail and head to the rear of the spa. Showers. Had to get to the showers.
Your stomping through the halls draw Lotus out of the aromatherapy room.
She looks up at you the same way she has been all day. "Mous, is everything-"
"Not now." you spit out as you blow past her.
You enter into the showers, used whenever somepony felt the need to wash off any sweat from the steam room. You find the first shower you can and crank the knob to the coldest it goes as you practically tear off your shirt. You sit down in the pony sized shower and let the cold water run over your back, careful not to let any get on your pants.
Oooohhh...
By The Five that felt good. The cold water fights back the building pain and starts to slowly numb your back. You see the door open, Lotus stands there and just stares. Fuck. She looks mad.
"Mous. I don't care what you said earlier, you are not fit to work if you are in this much pain. Now go home before you kill yourself with this!" she says as she stomped up to you.
You smile. The first legitimate smile you've had all day.
"It's fine boss, really this time. This water's taking care of my pain better than those pills ever did." you say.
Lotus sticks her hoof in the stream of water and almost immediately pulls it back out, wincing.
"Mous, this water is freezing." she says.
"And it feels GREAT."
She shakes her head and sighs. "Whatever Mous, just don't do more damage to yourself then you already have." she says as she leaves.
Pfft. What did she know? You were fine, right?
You examine your situation. You were sitting in a too-small-for-you shower, alone, pouring ice water on your back to simply get through the day.
...No. No you were not fine.
With a sigh, your get up and turn off the water. You towel yourself off and throw your shirt back on. Apart from being spectacularly itchy, you were fine. You sit down in your chair back in your room. You had some stuff to think about.
The only other customer you had that day was, what a shocker, Lyra. Oh well. At least she was easy to take care of. Rub her haunches, crack her back, hit her temples and you're done. You grab your clothes from the dryer and stuff them in your bag, you were in a hurry to get home. The pain was starting to come back, your scars slowly getting more sore throughout the day.
You make your way to the front, Aloe and Lotus were going over numbers behind the desk. You pause on your way out and grab the doorframe, as another flare settles in. Damn. They were getting more frequent, you had to get home.
You hear Lotus sigh. "Aloe, close up for me, I need to help our friend here get home." she says coming out from the desk.
Aloe gives you a concerned look. "Is he alright?"
Lotus scoffs as she walks up to you. "He's thickheaded, and stupid, and should have gone home hours ago when he could still make it on his own."
"I regret nothing." you say.
Lotus puts your theory to the test with a small tap on your back.
Pain rockets up your spine and sends your brain into overload, your pupils shrink and your chest hitches.
"Ow." escapes your mouth in the best deadpan you can muster.
Never let them see you sweat.
Lotus and you make your way down the road to your house. Your scars do their best to impede you, but you only have to stop a few times.
You did a really stupid thing today, Mous." Lotus says with her eyes forward.
"I'm kind of a stupid guy."
"Stupid or not, I would hope you could at least understand not to come into work when you can barely walk." she shot a glare at you.
"No way. What would have happened if some pissed off asshole came in and tried to shut us down for prostitution again?"
"Oh please." she says. "Nopony has tried that since Whistleblower, and he was one of maybe three who's done that in the entire time I've lived here."
She turns to glare at you. "I run a public spa with my twin sister and hail from a seedy place in the world. I was prepared for overreactions when I came here, Mous."
"Whatever. He was still an ass." you say.
"And I see you picked up his lessons well." she retorts.
Heh. Good one.
You eventually reach your door, your conversation with Lotus helping distract you from the pain.
>"Thanks for this bo-Lotus." you catch yourself. "I appreciate the concern."
She still looks annoyed. "Oh no. I'm not leaving until I see you swallow those pills."
You open the door and step inside.
"Uhg. You're worse than my mom."
You throw your bag on the empty couch.
"ANON YOU HOME!?" you yell out. Two thumps resound from the back of the apartment.
"Yeah, he's home, come on in." you motion for Lotus to follow you.
You make your way to your bathroom and open your bottle of pills. You toss a few into your mouth absentmindedly as Lotus looks on in mild terror.
"How many of those did you just take!?" she reels.
"Enough."
You open your mouth and lift your tongue for Lotus to ensure you actually swallowed them.
As your see Lotus off, she stops on your porch. "If you come into work tomorrow without a signed doctors note telling me your fit for it, you're fired." she says.
"First my mom, now my teacher. Are you gonna go for my old church leader to complete this guilt trip of yours?"
"Don't tempt me." she says as she walks down the trail.
"See ya later, Lotus."
"Goodnight, Mous."
You head back into the living room and are able to sit down for the first time today and lean back.
It was definitely nice to have a boss that cared about more than just that you showed up for work. You hear Anon step out room and head to the living room.
"Hey bro." he says as he walks in.
He takes on look at your face and grimaces. "Rough day?"
No need to worry him. One person at a time.
"Nah, I'm good. What's on the agenda for tonight." you say.
He smirks and heads to his side of the couch. "Troll 2."
You slap your hand on your face and groan.
Your pain had only just begun, it seems.
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Three chapter's in ONE day! what magic is this?
it feels like my birthday! 
1190825
No, but I DID get SD put into a 40k crossover fic for the final battle. That was a good day.
1190826
Like I said, this story is all finished but in >greentext form. It's really not too taxing to just convert a few chapters into prose over 45 minutes while I wait for a download or something to go through.
1190843
i know but it's so awesome!
this story is in my top Favorites
1190874
Then you'll love it when I actually make the story go someplace in a few chapters.
1190886
Yaaaaaaay!
1190891
This fic usually goes the way of:
Few chapters of plot.
Followed by ten chapters of faffing about.
1190928
awesome.
1190928
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/23919127.jpg
i fucking love this story its hilarious
Shouldn't it be "Anon and Amos"?
1193059
rankopedia.com/CandidatePix/101721.gif
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO.
1193400
This is why you should never think of names at 3am.
I would enjoy seeing some " encounters " at the spa or with molestia .etc
1194499
I absolutely promise you, Celestia will get more funny screentime.
My nostalgia knows no limit, Mandroid.
Now then, I should get to work converting MY stories from >greentext to prose...
1194786
And I haven't even gotten to the first "arc" yet.
1194949
I KNOW!
That's what I'm most excited for. Where the reader looks at it, and goes, "Wait... WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?"
Now then... Happy Mask Salesman is being converted next for me...
If you haven't already read it, I suggest reading it on Pastebin so your jimmies don't go maximum rustle. 
1194329 Nice. My two favorite muppets.
I knew it! You're a spy!
How did you know?
1195105
I am the Dark Lord of Change Tzeentch. I have already anticipated that Statler and Waldorf were your favorite muppets and have acted accordingly, just as planned.
1193400
hmmmmph I like the anon'y'mous joke
1195200
i am thrackerzod both of your arguments are irreverent. i AM A NORMAL PONY!
Troll 2? Oh my gooooood!
Rainbow has no taste in movies, and judging by their collection, neither do those two.
So.. Ummm. Rereading. And. This.
How does Lotus know what a church is? With Celestia and Luna being capable of moving entire planets, they should be pretty close to gods. Meaning that ponies, most likely don't have any religions. The fact that they use the word everypony implies that they don't have much input from outside sources. Because accidentally racist.
38.media.tumblr.com/a46c9ea67698772cbc4443f37262cc36/tumblr_ml27140dkD1rxzliio1_500.gif
1194499 MOLESTIA IN THE SPA!
Outlast much?
Yeah... go fuck yourselves
'muricans
10206875
Anon and Mous are both American.
They're just not those filthy old people.