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Member Since 18th Dec, 2011
offline last seen Jan 13th, 2012

XxDiamondRosexX

I like dark mysterious things (songs, art, stories, etc), I don't like the happy, everything-is-going-to-be-ok-because-it-always-is sort of thing. I like twists and surprises and things. I also like clockwork and things from old London. I have just recently found a band/group called Globus, and their songs pretty much sum up everything I love. ^^ I also LOVE to write, but I am just a simple writer, I'm not taking any classes specifically for creative writing, so I'm not that great, but I would love if you could help me and give me positive feedback ^^

Defender of the Diamond

The princesses' worst fear has arrived, and they have been captured.

It's up to the mane 6 to find the sacred Diamond, the only thing that will keep the evil pony, Black Star, away for good. They must travel throughout all of Equestria, defeating Black Star's minions along the way. The mane 6 must also free the princesses from their prison cells, and defeat Black Star once and for all.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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CosmicAfro

CosmicAfro #1 · Dec 19th, 2011 · · ·

-Woops, you wrote prologue at the start of your story there. It's already in the title isn't it ?
-Quick tip, you shouldn't have to start with a " on an italicised section. We can infer that it's coming from the passage.
-Interesting read, but I reccomend having an editor look over it. There were some small errors in sentence structure and too much repitition for certain words. Other than that, great start. 3.5/5. Got your plot, got your suspense, good work!