My Pony Academia

by Omegafr

Welcome to My Pony Academia

September 4th... the start of the school year, the famous...

At the beginning of the year, 6 friends meet in a new high school, the pony academia, a private school located in the city centre. His six friends, you know them, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity and Pinkie Pie.

Unfortunately, since high school is out of town, the six friends will be forced to live in a boarding school. The school has a special floor so that students from other cities can have a place to stay.

So the group of girls arrived at the school in the early morning, accompanied by Big Mac who brought them in the family truck, normally used for deliveries.

"Thanks for bringing Big Mac, you can go now, have a good trip" say the sister.

"Wait, I've got to make sure nothing happens to you, and that we're in the right place too..." speak the brother.

"We can take care of ourselves now, come on, the apple trees must be ready for the last crop of the summer " she explain to him.

While Applejack is trying to convince Big Mac to go home, the rest of the group notices the students crowding around the gate entrance, all waiting for the gate to open. Some are meeting up after the holidays, others are on their laptops, the parking lot is already full of parents, while others are still arriving.

In the general hubbub, something is happening, voices become rarer, replaced by shouts, cries of admiration. The din then makes the students' heads spin, stopping the surrounding discussions. A head protrudes from the crowd, it is a boy, taller than the others, who provokes all these reactions, a name is then shouted:

"Light!!! Light!!! Light!!! Light!!!"

Light, that's the name of the boy who seems to unleash passions, the young man smiles normally as he walks through the crowd, hands in his pockets.

He finally stops in front of the group of six girls and Big Mac. The crowd, in total admiration, fell silent for a moment, to let the discussion begin.

"You're the girls who arrive at boarding school today, the six of you, aren't you?" He asked, smiling.

"Yeah, that's us, why?" Ask Rainbow Dash and move in front of the other pegasus.

"The director asked me and my friends to take you in, we're going to show you around, do you want to come?" He says.

Big Mac is surprised, he didn't think students would have responsibilities like that. Light sees objections coming and answers them before he hears them.

"And you, you must be the brother of... from the looks of things I'd say Applejack, right?" He said, waiting for the orange mare to answer and putting his hand on Big Mac's shoulder.

"Yeah right, that's my big brother Big Mac. Wait, do you know me ?"

"Of course I know your family, you make the best apple juice in the region, but we're not here to talk about that..." he says, bringing his eyes back Big Mac, the big brother.

"Can I go on a visit of the school with you ?"

"Sorry, man, it's for registered students only, you can't see the inside until the end of the year for graduation." He explain.

Big Mac still seems doubtful that he'll ever leave, which is what Light is going on about...

"You can trust me, nothing will happen to them, and i'm a man of his world" he says with a wink that makes most of the mares in the vicinity blush.

Both the sentence and the wink are done with such sincerity and tact that Big Mac agrees to finally leave his friends and sister. He still takes the precaution of asking for Light's number, in case there is a problem so that he can be informed. It was noted that the request is made out loud, in other words, everyone heard his number... and the popular stalion know already 99% of the mare have their phone now.

Big Mac leaves with one last wave of his hand to say goodbye to the group of girls he accompanied.

That's when the headmistress comes to open the doors of the establishment...

"Welcome to everyone for this new school year, newcomers and regulars of the pony academia. I'm the headmistress Celestia but you can call me just Celestia. Please stay in the courtyard for the moment and look on the blackboard, your classes are registered, she said smiling and guiding the students." She explain.

"Guys, come on!" Call Light before enter in the academy.

As everyone slowly enters the school grounds, Light makes the girls wait for a moment to introduce them to her group of friends. Then five more boys get closer to the gang, and once everyone is inside, only this group of twelve students are left in front of the gate.

"We can't be late, we should go!" Asked the pretty purple mare.

"Don't worry about that, I know Celestia, she won't mind if we're late, he cheerfully assured... Well, let me introduce you my friends, we can see being room-mate during this year..." he show their friends.

The 5 boys then introduce themselves one by one:

"Hi girls, say, are you interested in the end of year party, would you like to organize it with me?" Asked Pinkie pie for a earth pony, almost sticking his face to Pinkie pie.

"Did you say party?" she shouted with a smile of excitement.

"YES, my name is Teddy and you must be pinkie pie, right?"

"Teddy, isn't it a little early to be talking about the..." want to say Light, but is stop by the earth pony.

"YOU LAUGHTER LIGHT, YOUR END OF YEAR PARTY MUST BE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, AND IT GETS PREPARED AS SOON AS YOU COME IN!!!" he said, turning sharply to his friend.

"I hope there will be balloons, and cakes, and confetti, and juice, and..."

"Yeah right, I didn't think about buying balloons, thanks for your help, what else?" He says as he pulls out a notepad.

Pinkie pie and Teddy stepped away from the group to express all he could think of to make the best party possible.

"Um... she always act like that Pinkie?" Ask the pegasus to their friends.

"And then again, that's pretty soft." Add the cyan mare.

Teddy is a light green boy with dark brown hair and very extroverted who offers all kinds of parties with different atmospheres, he wants everybody to enjoy his parties. His dream is to create strong friendships between partygoers who respond to his.

"So you know Teddy, he says before moving on to the next boy." He says.

"I'll take it from here, Light. Hi, girls. I'm Drew."

To continue, a two meter tall giant named Drew approached, he's Light's best friend and they don't miss any training together. His black skin reflects his muscles quite well, visible through his clothes. His hair is like his skin and horn.

"John, your turn" he said, turning to a boy who was hiding behind him at the time.

"Oh yes, to... to m... to me..."

Then there's John, a shy little earthly boy with little confidence in his abilities, he has decided to take Light as a role model and trains with him and Drew but at a very different level. His light brown skin and beige hair look a lot like Applejack's, which makes him stand out.

"You have the same color hair as me"

"Oh yeah, that's... that's right," he says nervously, turning around behind Light.

"So then Har... wait, where is Harri ?" Ask Light, searching the other pegasus.

Light turns around but doesn't find a man named Harri, who has gone behind his back to get closer to the female group, and more particularly to Rarity.

"Hello, miss, you'll have a wonderful time here with us." Declared Harri taking Rarity's hand.

As he's about to kiss her hand, Light pulls his ear back.

"Ow, Light, that hurt, stop it." He ask.

"You're not gonna start the year out like that, Harri, remember last year?" He says to stop his friend.

"Ow, okay okay, okay, I'm done, let go of me now." He complains.

"Looking good, you look better than that." Explain Light and letting go of Harri's ear.

"Okay..."

Harri is a Pegasus with white skin and golden-looking hair. He's beautiful and he knows it, he keeps playing it to seduce women, voyeurism is his biggest flaw.

"Okay, I'm making up for that, I'm Lance." Says a unicorn after sigh.

Lance and a dark blue-skinned unicorn with black hair. He's been the head of the high school library for the past year, and his passion is computers. He advises anyone on any subject and has excellent grades, which makes him a very popular person in the school.

"Is there a library? I didn't know," she exclaimed.

"It's the library, the documentation and information center, I'll show you afterwards if you want." Announce Lance.

"Okay." Twilight says.

The presentations are almost over, all that's missing is...

"Okay, I'm going to introduce myself even if you already know my name."

Light, tall pegasus with orange skin and light brown hair hiding his forehead, he is the most popular student of the school. Perfect body, sympathy and sense of humor, born leader as well as martial arts practitioner. Literally all the girls so far want him as a boyfriend, a real student-boy despite himself.

"Well, it's time to go and have a look in the courtyard, if you have any questions don't hesitate, we're here for that," he nodded with a wink.

The group goes to the courtyard, a huge courtyard decorated with a fountain in its center. The girls are in the same class as the boys without much surprise. The headmistress Celestia settled down on a small stage to speak.

"As I said before, I welcome you once again to the pony academia and all the staff and myself will make sure that you have a great time this year. Now that you know your classes, I'm going to ask you to wait for your main teacher who will take you to a class to explain to you how this year will go." She explain again.

The class we're interested in is picked up by Mrs. Cheerilee, they go to a room and spend a few hours to understand how the year will go, with the end-of-year exams and so on.

"Okay, if you have any questions, please feel free. That's it, goodbye, and see you Monday." She says saluting into their students.

"Come on, girls, we'll show you to your rooms." Say Light.

After the session, the girls follow the boys to their rooms. You have to go up to the second floor from the central hall to reach the dormitories, the boys show the girls their rooms. Spacious enough for two bunk beds, with cupboards and a desk, it is more than enough.

The girls arrange to be two per room: Rainbow and Applejack in front of Light and Drew's room, Rarity and Twilight in front of John and Harri's room, Pinkie pie and Fluttershy in front of Lance and Teddy's room.

"Where are the showers?" Ask Rainbow Dash seeing there not in the room.

"At the end of the hallway, there are separate showers. But if you join the gym, we have our own shower downstairs." Light nod.

"There's a sport club here, where do you join?" She says with a certain twinkle in her eye.

"Relax, registration starts next week, we'll let you get settled in." Claim the athletic pegasus.

"By the way, we still haven't told you..." Say Drew after is best friend.

Before locking themselves in their new rooms, the girls looked at the six boys in front of them. They all put out their best smiles, even John, to wish them...

Welcome to my pony academia, says all the boys.

Comments

[mechgamer]

add a anthro tag

[TheMajorTechie]

Might wanna look into getting an editor for this fic. There's quite a few bits where the grammar seems off, and even though I'm familiar with MHA, this story feels... nonsensical. I don't really feel any pull or drive to connect to any of these PCs, so going by that, why would I necessarily want to care about what happens to them?

Try to make your characters a little more lively and relatable to the reader and/or people who like My Hero Acadamia, that's basically what I'm saying.

EDIT: Also, show, don't tell. You've got a lot of tell in this story, and there's a lot of description that doesn't seem to serve any purpose other than to describe what a character looks like regardless of whether or not their looks are actually relevant.

[Omegafr]

10210544
This fiction is NOT a crossover with MHA just for the title, it's a school story without superpower or something.
The story is just one chapter, you can't say it's not attractive, after if it's not tour style, you can just ignore it.
Ans sorry for fault, i'm french and i do my best to translate.

[Omegafr]

10210528
Fixed

[TheMajorTechie]

The long description could definitely use some work as well. Take a look at the descriptions of other stories on the site-- what do they do?

The point of the long (and short) descriptions is to get the reader interested in the story. What makes your story worth reading over anyone else's? People can tell from your cover art already that your characters are anthro, so telling them that they're anthro in the description is redundant and wastes space. Just add an anthro tag to the story, like mechgamer mentioned before.

[TheMajorTechie]

10210552
Alrighty.