Chapter 3: Friends Are Ok Though
Johan laid in his bed the morning after his ill-fated date. He hadn't moved ever since he woke up, and it had been hours since then. His clock read that it was about 2pm, give or take a couple of minutes.
Johan missed his electric clock. Those circle ones were kinda hard to read. He sighed as he sunk further into bed. He didn't have the motivation to get out of bed to do chores. Or do any exercise. Or anything really. All he could will himself to do was sit up occasionally, before lying right back down.
He was suddenly altered to the sound of rapping on wood. Someone was knocking on his door... It was probably Derek, here to torment him some more.
"Go away!" He shouted angrily, not getting out of bed. The knocks kept coming though. Eventually, however, Johan heard his door open.
"God damn it!" Johan growled, getting out of bed. He marched to the door, fury in his eyes. "Can't you tell when someone wants to be left alone you worthless piece of... Oh."
Standing in his living room with a confused look in his eyes, was a tiny purple wingless dragon.
"Hey, Spike." Johan sighed as he lowered his head. "Sorry I thought you were someone else..."
Spike chuckled. "You look terrible bud. You ok? Twilight told me you stormed out of the date last night." Spike said putting a hand on Johan's shoulder, leading him to the couch.
"I... I guess... Derek just really pissed me off yesterday. Well... he pisses me off a lot actually..." Johan grumbled as he sat down.
"Yeah, the dudes a total tool. I wish Twilight, Rarity, and everyone else would just stop talking about him." Spike laughed, as he stood up and walked to the fridge. He opened it and reached inside, grabbing two popsicles.
Johan watched him as he hopped over the back of the couch, landing next to him and handing him one of the popsicles before laying back. His was grape flavored.
Johan sighed as he opened his own wrapper. Blue Raspberry, his favorite flavor. Johan smiled slightly.
"So," Spike said after taking a literal bite out of his popsicle. Guess Dragons didn't get cold teeth... that actually made a lot of sense.
"Tell me all about what happened last night. It's good to talk about this kind of thing, ya know?" Spike said with a warm smile.
"I... shouldn't... I don't want to ramble..." Johan mumbled as he looked away, idly licking his popsicle.
"Come on man. Things will only get worse unless you talk about them. You know you can trust me right?" Spike asked with a smile. That was true. Spike was perhaps the only person in town who didn't like Derek. Besides Johan of course.
His exact words when asked why were simply; 'I read enough comics to recognize a shitty Gary Stu when I see one.'
Johan and Spike had actually bonded over that quite a lot, and over time the two had connected rather well. Spike was the only person in his life Johan felt he could actually talk to.
"I... if you say so I guess," Johan said sitting up, handing his half-eaten popsicle to his friend. He cleared his throat and inhaled.
"I... I guess I am really mad at Derek because... because..." Johan gave a deep inhale. He just had to force it out.
"Because I am sick of him always being the best! I hate how popular he is, I hate how everything goes his way, I hate that everyone loves him so much, and I especially hate the way he treats me!" Johan suddenly yelled slamming his hooves onto the coffee table.
He started to pace.
"I hate living near him! No one likes me, they are all too focused on how much better Derek is then me. Whenever I meet someone, they automatically think of me as some kind of patsy that will carry them directly to Derek! Everyone does this to me! But you know what, it wouldn't even be that bad if there weren't the people who just treat me like an object and pretend to be my friend until they can get close to Derek! I hate it!!!"
Johan stopped, panting. He felt as though his vision had gone red for a couple of seconds there. He sat down and covered an eye with one of his hooves, he felt tears again. God, he was so pathetic.
He suddenly felt a claw on his back. "You know I ain't like that right?" Spike suddenly asked with a warm smile.
Johan breathed a clam, shaky breath. He nodded back at his friend who patted him twice on the back. "Yeah. You're great..."
Spike sat back again and Johan rejoined him on the couch.
"So, if you hate living here in Derek's shadow so much... why don't you move away? Leave Ponyville and never look back." Spike asked gently handing Johan's popsicle back.
"W-well... I don't want to leave you behind with him, for one." Johan said with a dry laugh.
"Oh, come on man, don't worry about me," Spike said pulling his hands back in a sign of surrender. "I barely talk to him so I can put up with him just fine."
"W-well, the main problem is that I... I just can't leave." Johan whimpered, laying down. "I mean, look at me. I'm a deer. No way can I even get a job, what with ponies who have the magical ability to be perfect at any task, thanks to their ass tattoos, they'd be much better and much cheaper workers than me. And if you don't have a job, you can't get a house, food or... anything really."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "I-if you don't have a job or any money, how come you have food and own a house right now?"
"I don't. Derek gave me this shack near his mansion so I would be close to him and not homeless. Plus he gives me a couple of bits every now and then so I don't starve. Besides, this isn't even a house. I don't even have a bathroom."
"N-no bathroom? Then how do you..."
"There is an outhouse and a water pump out back." Johan groaned laying back.
"Ew..." Spike groaned.
"That leads into the second reason I can't leave though." Johan sighed as he threw the, now completely picked clean, wooden popsicle stick away. "Derek won't let me leave..."
"W-what?" Spike asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Derek says that if I ever leave Ponyville, one of his many 'enemies' or 'rivals' would scoop me up and use me as a human shield to beat him. Not to mention he wants me to stay as close to him as possible for 'moral support'. Whenever I stray too far away or out of town, he always teleports right to me, gives me a stern talking too, and zaps me right back to my hut..." Johan sighed sadly.
Spike blinked twice. "Oh, sweet Celestia. That sounds awful, you're his prisoner?"
"K-kinda... I... don't want to talk about it. Can we change the subject to something less depressing..." Johan mumbled.
Spike frowned at him but nodded. "Uh... sure. Anything in particular."
Johan suddenly smiled. He sat up.
"Any way you can grab some of your comics and bring them here? I'm in the mood for a good superhero story." He asked with a smirk.
Spike laughed heartily. "Sure thing!"
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Nice character building! I hope you explore the relationship between Johan and Spike more. Nicely written. :)
Now we know more about Johan and Derek's toxic relationship. By toxic I mean just from I read and understand : Toxic on a level that it's no longer that but now moving into abuse. But that's my interpretation and opinion on it.
Spike-Bro doing what a Spike-Bro does best.
Nice.
Spike your a GOD
Derek THE FUCK MEN
Johan needs to run away totally, just leave everything and just become a regular deer
well he can betray him by giving info on him to his 'enemies' that what i will do.
but i am a sadistic manipulator so what do i know.
10271512
Its my opinion too, this very quickly gone from toxic to abuse and by abuse I mean technically enslavement since Johan can't even leave the town, he owns nothing, lives in a shitty shack and Derek has a massive mansion, this is Very bad
10271533
I concur whole heartily with your assessment of it altogether. "Derek the Douche" is undeserving, and unfit to be a royal alicorn period.
Wow, ok, Derek is less a egocentric narcisistic friend and more a sociopathic abuser.
What he's doing to Johan isn't abuse physically but that is straight up grade A level abuse. Destroying one's confidence and self worth, along with ensuring that he's completely dependent on Derek for everything. That's extremely out of line 
(I kinda feel that because I've been put through something similar.)
My best advice for Johan is to escape, some way some how. It wont get better, talking to Derek about it wont change anything. He needs to escape in some way. Maybe he can come up with an excuse to leave town for a day, or even an hour, but he has to get out of that town. From there its a matter of finding somewhere safe. Even if he dose not have money or a place to stay, its better than staying with someone who's willing and capable of destroying you as a person.
Wow that escalated and I'm trying horribly not to be one those people who wish severe ill will on a character.
10271533
yeah I totally agree with you. Johan is pretty much a slave in everything but name. Its kinda sad that the ponies havent caught on to this
10271557
Let's hope Spike tells either Twilight or the royal sisters of this, or just something happens to allow Johan to escape even just for a hour
10271600
Twilight seems to be caught in the Gary Stu effect.
High chances the Sisters are too.
10271609
...this is gonna end Very badly I expect..
10271600
10271609
Yeah, it seems all of Ponyville (and implied beyond) are under Derek's spell. Johan may have better luck if he escapes to either somewhere remote (Appleoosa/even Yakyakastan), or somewhere he can get lost in a crowd(Canterlot/Manehattan), or maybe even both (Crystal empire). From that point it'd probably be a case of dissociation.
I wonder what a traveling pony like Trixie or Hoo'far would feel about having a deer as a traveling companion. (Maybe not trixie, because she's too close to starlight, who's in turn close to the main 6, so would likely be under the gary stue effect as well)
...okay, so um, I have questions.
1. How has nobody caught onto this.
2. How has nobody caught onto this?
3. Does the law not even exist anymore? This is enslavement.
Fucking called it
A. I very much appreciate the frequent updates. Not to pressure you to keep up the pace, but I'm really enjoying this story and like the fact that I get to read more.
B. If that's how Derek is treating him, any hope of reconciliation is shot. This can go one of several ways: Johan could snap and try to get out of dodge, he could attempt to harm himself in some way (hoping it doesn't come to that), or he could become susceptible to the dark side (whatever that entails).
C. Is there potential for Johan to get anymore friends? The first characters to come to mind are Big Mac and Discord, the two members of Spike's bro squad. Neither of the two strike me as the type to be ensnared by Derek's (apparent) charms, Mac because of how down-to-earth he is and Discord because he's Discord. Also the fact that Applejack and Fluttershy probably like Derek, which will rub both of them the wrong way considering how much of an unabashed player he is. If Starlight (one of Spike's best friends) and Luna (someone who would understand Johan's pain) aren't under Gary Stu's sway, they're also possibilities.
10271672
I would include Discord, but this takes place around seasons 1 and 2ish...
Maybe I should have made that more clear XD
Big Mac might work, we shall see lol
10271686
Ah, gotcha. So that means the Mane 6 are on the more naive side when it comes to friendship, which doesn't bode well for our miserable protagonist.
Since this takes place before discord, waiting until he arrives is probably the best choice. Even with Gary Stu powers it would take all of focus off of Johan long enough to make his escape. Alternatively, I bet discord would help johan just to stick it to Derek and the ponies for being total shits.
10271672
Wait..what if one of the reasons everymare loves and adores derek is because he used his Gary sue powers to fuck with everyone (this just popped up in my head and couldn't get it out)
Ah yes, enslavement and psychological abuse, the ultimate show of true friendship.
10271721
My main complaint with this is Derek is very one-note. Look, I get he's supposed to be a whole deconstruction of the Gary Sue who falls in love with everyone and they love him back but... he's very evil for the sake of being evil. One story, I believe by BronyWriter I think it was, made the deconstruction well aware of his own status and horrified of it. Derek's just evil for the lulz. He's hateable for all the wrong reasons.
10271714
That's a possibility, but I think it would be a passive ability rather than deliberate meddling on his part if that were the case. Derek doesn't strike me as someone who would deliberately brainwash people even if he is a controlling jerk. A passive ability that causes people to like him... hm... ya know, that sort of thing might actually make some sense within the context of the show. None of the alicorns have to deal with much in the way of disdain (Celestia has been able to keep the kingdom stable for over a thousand years, the population warmed up to Luna after initial hesitation in spite of her villainous past, Cadence's rule is largely accepted by the Crystal Empire despite being a foreigner, and Twilight's new authority is largely uncontested). Hypothetically, a passive ability that causes normal ponies to like them could also apply to Derek. In fact, the only two people who apparently don't like him aren't ponies, and are therefore exempt from this hypothetical ability.
Of course, I don't think any of this is the case. It's an interesting idea, but I don't think it fits. The story is about a guy who has to cope with living in a world where everything is seemingly rigged in favor of an arrogant jerk. What makes it worse is the fact this jerk is powerful and charismatic. For all most of the Equestrian population knows, Derek is a hero just like the Elements. As for the people who know him personally (the Elements), there are repeated instances of them exhibiting and/or tolerating troubling behavior before fixing it, and likely view him as a fellow hero. Johan and Spike are immune to this sort of thing because of their proximity to them as well as their powerlessness. Both of them have the advantage of seeing who Derek and the Elements truly are instead of the larger-than-life hero personas that everyone else sees. Also, neither of them can be heroes in the same way that Derek and the Elements can be due to their lack of magic and physical strength. In this way, the two of them are uniquely positioned to see the flaws of these "heroes." Because of these reasons, I don't think it's because of any passive ability that the guy has, but just because his power has put him in a position where his toxic behavior can be ignored.
Wow, I rambled. Hope you enjoyed my Ted Talk.10271774
Oh wow. That is an amazing Ted talk XD
And yeah, I really think you nailed by ideas perfectly XD
10271774
I actually liked your Ted talk, is it bad I want more because I'm pretty bored as of now.
10271779 your welcome XD
It seems like Johan needs to physically escape, but I don't know if Gary's Stu-ness affect will allow him to. I don't know the internal logic of this particular world, but if I was in Johan's position, I would do some research. Derek can immediately teleport to where Johan is, so Johan needs a powerful mana signature blocker, or something to negate magical abilities altogether, like a bug throne or something. Then he should make a good disguise, somehow fake his own death, leave to some remote location to plan either how to never encounter Derek again, or kill Derek outright and free everypony from his country-spanning passive mind-control.
But he must NEVER try to hide out in the Crystal Empire, because eventually Derek is going to head there to bang both Twilight and Cadance in the Crystal Castle, and he's going to make Shining Armor watch, because that is just who Derek is as a person.
10271774
Curiously enough there's a story about a red-and-black alicorn that has such a passive effect. The diference is it only affects ponies when they're in his proximity, and he's actually a decent person that hates it. Can't remember the name, I do remember liking it though.
10271774
I do recall reading a story with a concept quite like that one... Now what was it called. Hmmm... Ah, yes! Unoriginality I believe! Quite a fun read, and the author did begin a sequel that seemed quite promising (though it hasn't been updated for a... good while now).
In truth the moment I began to read this story I immediately was reminded of that one, just with a few key differences to how Derek's 'heroic aura' is appearing to work... That is if it even does turn out to be something that's happening later on down the line.
Either way, I must say this is proving itself to be quite a worthwhile read so far! Good show, Deergenerate! Good show indeed!
10271774
Passive ability that makes people like a black and red Gary Stu you say? Hmmm... seems familiar.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/57206/consequences-of-unoriginality
If passive mind control does come into the story. I think the question would be whether or not Derek, if he knew of it, would make an effort to deactivate it, or even outright refuse to give it up.
Honestly, if I was in Johan's position, I'd use the opportunity to make shitloads of money with minimal effort by acting as the shady drug dealer who runs Derek addicts into debt.
Rich bitch wants a three way? Demand's pretty high, but since I'm such a nice guy, I can get her in for the low-low price of 20,000 bits.
Some poor mare just wants to listen to him talk? Sure, I ca- wait, she doesn't have any money left? Man, these ponies are really busting my balls here, but I'm feeling generous today, so I'll just take the house as compensation.
Some homeless mare wants an autograph? Well, maybe she doesn't have any money, but does she really need two kidn- oh wait, I already took her right kidney. Well, does she really need two lungs? No? Great! I'll just have her follow my helpful associate and we'll get her that autograph in no time. I'm horrible
10271648
Of course the law still exists silly! It just doesn't apply to non-pony untermensch.
10271953
I like the way you think.
Most people wouldn’t agree with you for the same reason they hate me for Being pro-grave robbery.
Embrace the dark side.
10271217
of course they will be rude never trust a horse only a stag or a Capra
If Johan has information on creating our world tech and weapons and sells that to other specie country’s or enemies to start a arms race.
Johan needs to be a Villain.
By the way this story almost sounds like that Amazon Prime show call Bad Boys? The one about a team of dudes that beat up Super Heroes because they get away from everything
Does it feel wrong that I think it's a good idea to have Johan train in the Caribou Empire and giving Derek a taste of his own medicine, along with those who paid more attention to Derek more than Johan?
10272072
Lol, Johan doesn't know how to make any weapons. In fact, 100% no actual HIE character would realistically know how to make any gun XD. Guns are complicated buisness.
The actual show is called The Boys and I love it to death XD.
10272088
Caribou don't exist in my stories/Deergenerate Universe unfortunately lol
Best you got are a Deer Kingdom and an Elk Tribal Nation.
10272127
Oh thank god. Someone who actually understands this.
10272274
More modern guns are complicated. Simple ones though like old flintlocks or hand canon style? Not overly, though very dangerous to yourself if anything goes wrong. Just need the basics of black powder, and a tube.
10271533
At this point I’d say that Derek and Johan’s relationship has become disturbingly similar to the relationship between New World Slaves and their Masters.
10272127
Some reason I feel like this world ur building is oddly like the Boys. Not it’s bad or anything but would be interesting.
Yea, Guns are very Complicated
10272127
I disagree. Basic guns are actually very simple and the materials are already available within the setting. Hell, cannons are already canon.
Seriously, the hard part is the cartridge but even a simple blackpowder gun is basically a closed ended pipe. I mean we are talking fireworks in a pipe with some metal shoved in it as a projectile on the simplest end.
However, yes many people have no idea how to do much of anything and with respect to this story Johan doesn't seem to have any special skills with regard to that.
And that is not counting any reality warping Gary Stu effects he might be suffering under aside from those he has already noticed.
This is really interesting so far! The resentment and anger Johan has for Derek is infectious to the reader. I'm really interested in where this is going to go. Either an emotional or physical conflict with Derek involving the mane six, I'd wager. I can't wait to see Johan develop some more and confront these problems
Spike is the Best Canon character in this story. I really Hope that things turn better forJohan. Derek gets his ass beaten or Johan can actually escape from HIM.....Derek is acting like a slaver to Johan.....
Payback is a Bitch.....hopefully in this
10272127
Actually it is realistic for a HiE to know how a gun works if they ever owned one or had Military training. (or Police) so like in the story misunderstandings he knew how one worked so if he knew internal parts and all, he could have made more...why do I tend to over think everything?
Edit: why the hell did I write this? And why did I think it was so easy for people to make guns?
So what, Derek keeps him locked here like a prisoner just because he's worried some enemy will kidnap him. What the heck! Ponies are so focused on Derek, they probably don't even notice Johan anyway!!! Derek is just keeping him locked up, That isn't right!
Johan shouldn't listen to Derek anymore... If that's the best excuse Derek can give him, Johan has the right to leave. TBH their friendship sounds one sided.
This has potential, just needs a bit of work and some minor punctuation corrections. Following with expectations.