• Published 3rd Jun 2020
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The Side Character is a Deer - Legacy Edition - Deergenerate



Johan is a side character in his own story. He is also a displaced human stuck as a deer. Suffice to say, his life sucks now.

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Chapter 3: Friends Are Ok Though

Johan laid in his bed the morning after his ill-fated date. He hadn't moved ever since he woke up, and it had been hours since then. His clock read that it was about 2pm, give or take a couple of minutes.

Johan missed his electric clock. Those circle ones were kinda hard to read. He sighed as he sunk further into bed. He didn't have the motivation to get out of bed to do chores. Or do any exercise. Or anything really. All he could will himself to do was sit up occasionally, before lying right back down.

He was suddenly altered to the sound of rapping on wood. Someone was knocking on his door... It was probably Derek, here to torment him some more.

"Go away!" He shouted angrily, not getting out of bed. The knocks kept coming though. Eventually, however, Johan heard his door open.

"God damn it!" Johan growled, getting out of bed. He marched to the door, fury in his eyes. "Can't you tell when someone wants to be left alone you worthless piece of... Oh."

Standing in his living room with a confused look in his eyes, was a tiny purple wingless dragon.

"Hey, Spike." Johan sighed as he lowered his head. "Sorry I thought you were someone else..."

Spike chuckled. "You look terrible bud. You ok? Twilight told me you stormed out of the date last night." Spike said putting a hand on Johan's shoulder, leading him to the couch.

"I... I guess... Derek just really pissed me off yesterday. Well... he pisses me off a lot actually..." Johan grumbled as he sat down.

"Yeah, the dudes a total tool. I wish Twilight, Rarity, and everyone else would just stop talking about him." Spike laughed, as he stood up and walked to the fridge. He opened it and reached inside, grabbing two popsicles.

Johan watched him as he hopped over the back of the couch, landing next to him and handing him one of the popsicles before laying back. His was grape flavored.

Johan sighed as he opened his own wrapper. Blue Raspberry, his favorite flavor. Johan smiled slightly.

"So," Spike said after taking a literal bite out of his popsicle. Guess Dragons didn't get cold teeth... that actually made a lot of sense.

"Tell me all about what happened last night. It's good to talk about this kind of thing, ya know?" Spike said with a warm smile.

"I... shouldn't... I don't want to ramble..." Johan mumbled as he looked away, idly licking his popsicle.

"Come on man. Things will only get worse unless you talk about them. You know you can trust me right?" Spike asked with a smile. That was true. Spike was perhaps the only person in town who didn't like Derek. Besides Johan of course.

His exact words when asked why were simply; 'I read enough comics to recognize a shitty Gary Stu when I see one.'

Johan and Spike had actually bonded over that quite a lot, and over time the two had connected rather well. Spike was the only person in his life Johan felt he could actually talk to.

"I... if you say so I guess," Johan said sitting up, handing his half-eaten popsicle to his friend. He cleared his throat and inhaled.

"I... I guess I am really mad at Derek because... because..." Johan gave a deep inhale. He just had to force it out.

"Because I am sick of him always being the best! I hate how popular he is, I hate how everything goes his way, I hate that everyone loves him so much, and I especially hate the way he treats me!" Johan suddenly yelled slamming his hooves onto the coffee table.

He started to pace.

"I hate living near him! No one likes me, they are all too focused on how much better Derek is then me. Whenever I meet someone, they automatically think of me as some kind of patsy that will carry them directly to Derek! Everyone does this to me! But you know what, it wouldn't even be that bad if there weren't the people who just treat me like an object and pretend to be my friend until they can get close to Derek! I hate it!!!"

Johan stopped, panting. He felt as though his vision had gone red for a couple of seconds there. He sat down and covered an eye with one of his hooves, he felt tears again. God, he was so pathetic.

He suddenly felt a claw on his back. "You know I ain't like that right?" Spike suddenly asked with a warm smile.

Johan breathed a clam, shaky breath. He nodded back at his friend who patted him twice on the back. "Yeah. You're great..."

Spike sat back again and Johan rejoined him on the couch.

"So, if you hate living here in Derek's shadow so much... why don't you move away? Leave Ponyville and never look back." Spike asked gently handing Johan's popsicle back.

"W-well... I don't want to leave you behind with him, for one." Johan said with a dry laugh.

"Oh, come on man, don't worry about me," Spike said pulling his hands back in a sign of surrender. "I barely talk to him so I can put up with him just fine."

"W-well, the main problem is that I... I just can't leave." Johan whimpered, laying down. "I mean, look at me. I'm a deer. No way can I even get a job, what with ponies who have the magical ability to be perfect at any task, thanks to their ass tattoos, they'd be much better and much cheaper workers than me. And if you don't have a job, you can't get a house, food or... anything really."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "I-if you don't have a job or any money, how come you have food and own a house right now?"

"I don't. Derek gave me this shack near his mansion so I would be close to him and not homeless. Plus he gives me a couple of bits every now and then so I don't starve. Besides, this isn't even a house. I don't even have a bathroom."

"N-no bathroom? Then how do you..."

"There is an outhouse and a water pump out back." Johan groaned laying back.

"Ew..." Spike groaned.

"That leads into the second reason I can't leave though." Johan sighed as he threw the, now completely picked clean, wooden popsicle stick away. "Derek won't let me leave..."

"W-what?" Spike asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Derek says that if I ever leave Ponyville, one of his many 'enemies' or 'rivals' would scoop me up and use me as a human shield to beat him. Not to mention he wants me to stay as close to him as possible for 'moral support'. Whenever I stray too far away or out of town, he always teleports right to me, gives me a stern talking too, and zaps me right back to my hut..." Johan sighed sadly.

Spike blinked twice. "Oh, sweet Celestia. That sounds awful, you're his prisoner?"

"K-kinda... I... don't want to talk about it. Can we change the subject to something less depressing..." Johan mumbled.

Spike frowned at him but nodded. "Uh... sure. Anything in particular."

Johan suddenly smiled. He sat up.

"Any way you can grab some of your comics and bring them here? I'm in the mood for a good superhero story." He asked with a smirk.

Spike laughed heartily. "Sure thing!"

Author's Note:

Spike is a good friend! Johan needs more guys like him around.

Until next chapter y'all!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B-WWsuyhOc