Johan is a side character in his own story. He is also a displaced human stuck as a deer. Suffice to say, his life sucks now.
Deer are terrible. They aren't strong, they don't have magic, they can't fly, they can't even manipulate things with hands!
So what happens when some guy named Johan gets displaced into Equestria as a Deer while his best friend, Derek, gets displaced as a Half Alicorn, Half Gryphon, Half Shadow Pony, (Yes the math doesn't make sense, Johan has told him that several times,) he gets stuck as Derek's involuntary side kick, forced to sit there and watch as Derek saves the day again, and again, and again.
What happens when you are the only person in the world who hates someone, when you are supposed to be their best friend? What happens, when you are the side character in your own story?
An explosion rocked the air over Ponyvile, as a burst of crimson red energy rocketed out of the horn of a black alicorn and into the chest of a giant monster which seemed to be a pegasus made out of storm clouds.
The alicorn in question was all black, with red hair that was incredibly messy in style. His wings had red highlights and one of his eyes was red, and the other was blue. He wore a signature shit-eating grin as he snapped two gryphon claws he had in place of front hooves pointing at the monster.
"Give up Tornado! You know you can't beat me! Why don't you just get rid of that cloud armor and just surrender?" The alicorn asked slyly as the cloud monster reformed the hole that had been blasted in its chest.
"Never you annoying little pest!" The creature roared. With a slash of one of its cloudy hooves, a lightning bolt formed in the air and shot at the speed of light towards Derek. Derek chuckled and, with no effort, dodged out of the way of the lightning bolt which sailed past him.
It kept sailing and slammed into the ground with an explosion next to a small Deer buck, who didn't even flinch. This was Johan, and unlike his friend Derek, he was not special at all. He just looked like every other deer on the planet, with no special defining features baring the fact that he lived in Equestria. Well, that and the permanent disappointed, or even depressed look on his face.
Both Johan and Derek had ended up in Equestria after they died in a car accident or some other generic thing, and after the initial confusion that came with suddenly finding yourself in a magical planet, the two had settled into their lives in Ponyville. Derek had become the hero, the one everyone in the world looked up to, mainly due to the fact that he literally arrived as an unstoppable magical demigod, while Johan just settled down and became just a regular old townie. A regular townie, who Derek always kept close to him.
Johan sighed, and turned around. A massive crowd was gathered behind him, all of their eyes turned to the sky to watch Derek go to work. At the front of the crowd was the Elements of Harmony, who watched with stunned wonder as, for the thousandth time since arriving, Derek fought a monster that they couldn't even hurt, even with their necklaces of magical power.
"Wow! Derek is so cool!" Pinkie Pie said with a pure giddy smile on her face, as Rainbow Dash smirked.
"You know he is! I wonder if I can beat him in a race this time! Sixth times the charm right?"
Johan sighed again and turned to walk away. He almost made it out of the crowd before he was stopped by a purple magical shield.
"Where are you going Johan? Don't you want to watch Derek fight?" Twilight Sparkle asked him. Johan rolled his eyes.
"Oh yes, I certainly want to watch Derek effortlessly win the third fight this week. Woot woot." Johan replied pumping his hoof. Twilight looked at her friends before just shrugging and turning her eyes back to the fight.
The shield disappeared and Johan simply walked past, ignoring all the 'ooos' and 'ahhhs' that emanated from the mystified population of Ponyville. Eventually, the sound of explosions, thunder, and lightning slowly faded out of earshot as he neared the edge of town, his face turned downwards the entire time.
With a sigh, Johan looked up. His and Derek's houses at right next to each other. Well, next to each other was a disservice. It looked more like his house was a shack where the help lived at Derek's house.
Derek's house looked like a massive mansion, incomprehensibly large with stone buttresses, towers, and a front lawn that looked like it took fifty gardeners to take care of. Statues of Derek dotted the roof and garden as stained glass windows which included images of Derek's many victories sat comfortably in the massive walls.
Johan's house, instead, was just a small shack with a tile roof, windows with shutters instead of glass, and cobblestone walls. It was small, so small in fact, that the entire front of the house was smaller than one of Derek's windows.
Johan shook his head and merely opened his door, entering his small cottage. The kitchen and living room took up the same room. He didn't have a dining room, just a coffee table in front of his couch. Another door divided the house in half, his bedroom on the other side. Johan simply walked to the kitchen, grabbed a bowl and a box of cereal. He poured the cereal and went to the fridge to get some milk, but opening it just got him blasted in the face with a disgusting smell.
Johan stumbled back and looked inside to see that his milk was expired.
"Great... As if today could get any worse." He growled, kicking the fridge door closed.
He merely resolved to take his dry cereal over to the couch and eat it alone. He was always alone. He barely had time to shovel the first load of bland tasting Raisin Bran into his mouth before he heard a slight boom from outside, he looked out one of his windows to see a cloud of dust.
"Oh, great. Thanks for tempting fate Johan." He moaned to himself, covering half his face with a hoof.
'You're welcome.' a faceless voice said in his mind.
There was a knock on his door. He ignored it and just kept eating. Then there was another, followed by jiggling on the door handle. He tried his hardest to pretend it wasn't there.
Then the door handle on his side was wrapped in a crimson aura and slammed open with enough force to knock bits and baubles off the single shelf he had in the room, and knock the single painting he had in the entire house off the wall. It was of a deer being mauled by a wolf. God did he wish he was in that deer's place right now.
"Hey hey Johan! I missed you at the fight, man!" Derek said as he walked into the room, slamming the door closed behind him.
Johan sighed for what felt like the thousandth time that day. "I didn't think you needed me. You always seem to be so capable on your own." He mumbled, taking another bite of Raisen Bran. "Could you please put all the stuff you knocked over back please."
Derek laughed. "Come on man. I need my buddy there with me when I am fighting. You know. For moral support." He said as he used magic to rearrange the books, trinkets, and small sculptures his entrance had knocked off of Johan's single shelf.
"Don't you have the Elements of Harmony to do that for you? Alongside literally everyone else in town?" Johan said standing up and bringing his empty bowl to the sink. "Wouldn't people who want to sleep with you make for better moral support than me?"
Derek blinked several times. "Ah come on man. The Elements are just friends." He chuckled. "Besides, you're still my oldest friend man. You're like my little brother you know?"
Johan growled under his breath at that as he cleaned the bowl. "Little brother? I am a year older than you."
"You know what I mean." Derek chuckled as he put the painting of the unfortunate encounter of the deer and the wolf back up on the wall.
"Sheesh, don't you think this is kind of morbid?" He asked. Johan ignored him, sitting back down on the couch.
Derek stared at him for a couple of seconds expecting a response before shrugging. "Anyway... I am having a race with Rainbow Dash today near Ghastly Gorge. Want to come?"
"Why? You always win. No point in coming if I already know how it is going to end." Johan sighed laying down. "I think I am just going to go to sleep or something."
Derek laughed, walking over and petting Johan between the antlers. "Ok, bud. Have a good night or whatever."
"Yeah, goodnight."
Derek went over to the door, stopping just before leaving. "Hey, can I ask a favor?"
"Oh sure. Ask a favor. What can I, a weak pathetic little deer, possibly do for you?" Johan asked. Derek didn't notice to absolute venom in his voice.
"Well, tomorrow I am having a date with Twilight Sparkle. She thought it would be a little awkward if it was just the two of us. I was wondering if maybe you could find someone and come. Make it a double date you know?" Derek asked with a smile.
Johan looked down and exhaled. "Yeah. Sure."
Derek gave him a thumbs up. "Thanks Johan!" The alicorn hybrid closed the door behind him and walked away, leaving Johan alone. The deer sighed and threw his head back, running a hoof along with one of his antlers.
He looked back to his fridge and sighed, standing up. Derek would probably pay for the food, so him going would probably get him a free meal. Lord knows he needed it.
He opened the fridge and covered his nose at the blast of rancid air that hit him right in the face. Time to go shopping.
Johan hummed to himself as he walked through the aisles of Ponyville's grocery store pushing a small cart. He was currently in the dairy aisle picking up some milk. His cart had a couple of necessities in it. Raisen Bran, some tarts, a bag or two of chips, popsicles for the occasional happy moment, fruits, veggies, and more.
Johan would have grabbed himself some meat, but since he was now a deer eating meat felt wrong. Like it actually made him sick. Derek could still eat meat though. Probably because he was half Gryphon. Except he wasn't. He was a third at best.
Johan growled as he grabbed a jug of 1% milk from one of the fridges in the aisle. He looked at it, glancing at the expiration date before shrugging it and tossing it into his cart. He closed the door and turned, instantly coming face to face with a minty green unicorn with white hair.
Her face was an inch away from his.
Johan jumped back with a frightened shout. He landed at least seven or eight feet back from her. One of only about half a dozen good things about being a deer. He could jump well.
Johan blinked a couple of times as she stared at the unicorn who approached him with a smile. "You're Joe-an right? Oh, it is so cool to meet you! My name is Lyra!" She asked excitedly, grabbing him by the hoof and shaking it with enough force to make Johan dizzy.
Johan stared at her confusedly. "Uh... It's pronounced Yo-han. Not Joe-an..." He raised an eyebrow as he observed the unicorn up and down. "S-sorry, I am not used to meeting people who are excited to meet me..."
Lyra laughed, a bit too heavily he noted and shrugged. "Sorry, I have only ever seen your name written."
"Yeah... I see where you can get Joe-an from that..." Johan said as he suspiciously eyed her. He knew what usually came next, he sighed as he grabbed his cart. "Anything I can interest you in? An autograph maybe?"
"Actually, I was wondering if maybe you could introduce me to your friend, Derek?" Lyra asked with glee in her voice.
Johan rolled his eyes and sighed. "You and everyone else in Equestria, ma'am." Johan said as he pushed his cart past her.
"Well, it's just that, Derek is really cool and, ya know? So I really want to meet him! I even heard he was human before!" Lyra said excitedly.
"I was human too," Johan said as he exited the aisle.
"Yeah well, he still has hands..." The unicorn said gesturing to the hooves Johan now had. That was a very sensitive subject for Johan! He missed the ability to actually pick things up. What he wouldn't give to have arrived as a gryphon or a unicorn...
"So about meeting Derek?"
"Look, lady!" Johan suddenly snapped, pointing directly at her. "Just because I know Derek doesn't mean I can introduce everyone who asks me to him!"
Everything in the crowded story suddenly went quiet. He looked around, quickly noticing why. All the color drained from his face.
An entire crowd of pony shoppers was gathered around him. Too many to count. He seemed to have wandered into the most crowded part of the story. He barely had a moment to step back before they set upon him.
"You know Derek? What's he like?"
"Is Derek really as cool as he looks when he fights?"
"Is it true that Derek is the fasted pony alive?"
"Can Derek really bench press an entire train car?"
Johan found himself hyperventilating as his escape paths were cut off as more and more ponies surrounded him.
"Derek is so cool!"
"What was Derek like before he came to Equestria?"
"Why is it that Derek is so cool while you are just a deer?
"Derek!"
"Derek!"
"Derek!"
Johan couldn't take it anymore. He reared back and screamed.
"Shut up! All of you! Leave me the hell alone!" He shouted, his cry drowning out the crowd. He stood there, inhaling and exhaling rapidly to try and calm himself down. All of their eyes were still on him. Some looked shocked, others looked betrayed. Some just looked downright angry, especially Lyra.
The crowd started to disperse annoyed tones leaving scathing messages behind for him.
"Sweet Celestia what a dick."
"No wonder everyone says Derek is cooler."
"Why is Derek even friends with that guy?"
One particularly angry shopper took it upon himself to rear back and give Johan's cart a firm buck, which threw it to the ground and spewed the contents all over the place.
The Deer sighed and bent down after everyone had gone back to his business. After putting the cart back up he went about slowly putting everything back.
"Great, all of the chips are going to be shattered now." He mumbled to himself before noticing the milk jug had broken when it hit the ground spilling white liquid all over the tile ground of the store. The deer hung his head and sighed. He looked around, there was nothing to wipe it up with.
Johan sighed and stood up, looking around he left his cart and quickly walked off to find a paper towel or something to wipe it up. When he returned, however, he found it already wiped up somehow?
Great, a clerk probably cleaned it all up for him. Said clerk also probably thought that Johan made the mess and just ran off leaving them to clean it up like some kind of an entitled jerk. That made him feel terrible.
Johan grabbed his cart and turned it around, going back to the milk aisle. Instead, he once again found himself face to face with a unicorn. She was a white unicorn with mostly pink hair, though it did also include a white stripe down the middle. She had a face that was much... broader than most other mares, and her cutie mark was that of a Fleur De Lis. She was carrying a milk jug, in her golden magical aura, 1%, just like the jug he lost.
"Let me guess? Here to ask me to introduce Derek to you like everyone else, huh?" Johan growled, trying to get past her.
"Actually, Mr. Johan, I was actually just interested in giving you this." She said with a smile as she put the jug of milk into his cart. "I noticed how mean those ponies were being to you and I thought it would be nice of me to help you with your little issue."
A genuine smile came to her face as she stuck her hoof out to him. "Fleur De Lis at your service. I come from Canterlot and I decided that I might as well check out this little town. After all, Princess Celestia's prized pupil and her friends live here. Must be a nice town right?"
Johan blinked twice. He reached his hoof forwards and took hers, giving it a light shake. "Um... Johan. But I think you already knew that..."
"Charmed," Fleur said with a smile. Johan noticed her... wink at him?
Johan let go and took a step back a blush coming to his face as Fleur turned and started walking away, an obviously exaggerated sway in her step.
"See you later cutie." She said as she started to turn a corner.
"W-wait! Wait!" Johan said quickly rushing after her. She stopped in her tracks and looked back at him with a smile.
"I-I was wondering, uh... well... I know this is awkward since we just met but..." A blush came to Johan's face as he stumbled over his words.
"But...?" Fleur said with a wider smile.
"Well... my friend Derek is having this double date with someone and, well... he wants me to get someone to go with me and..." Johan stopped again and sighed looking at his hooves. This was ridiculous.
Fleur simply patted him on the head and chuckled. "Let me guess, you want me to come and be your date for it?" She asked with a smile.
"Y-yeah... I know it's kind of stupid. I'll go now..." He mumbled as he turned to walk away.
"I'd love to," Fleur said patting him on the head. "I'm staying at a house near the Golden Oak's library. Come pick me up before the date. I'll be sure to wear my finest dress."
Johan stared after her, completely mystified, as she walked out of the aisle and then out of the store. As soon as she was gone, Johan couldn't help but feel a giddy smile come to his lips. He let out an excited cheer, as he rushed back to his cart and prepared to rush to check out.
He had to get ready asap! Finally, someone who liked him for a reason other than Derek, and she was going on a date with him!
Johan stood in front of Fleur De Lis's rented house with a smile on his face as he held a bundle of flowers in one of his forehooves. He was wearing a black tuxedo with a red bowtie as well as a small boutonnière in the shape of a rose. (For those of you who can't speak fancy, a boutonnière is a small flower you put in one of the front pockets of a tuxedo's coat.)
He had to cash in quite the large favor to Rarity to get it, mainly because he didn't have enough money to actually buy the suit. He was basically just renting it from Rarity. Suffice to say he would be taking care of Opal for the next couple months when she was out of town, on top of modeling for a lot her future suits for deer... not that there were many deer asking for suits. He had never actually met another deer before but apparently, they did, indeed, exist.
He let out a deep breath before knocking on the door happily. After a minute or two of waiting, the door opened and the White Unicorn herself stood in the door, a smile on her face. She wore a stunning Red Dress and perfect makeup with accentuated her already stunning features.
Johan felt his jaw drop as Fleur stepped out from the door frame. "Well, glad to see you didn't leave me hanging... unlike your jaw." She joked, placing a hoof on his chin and lightly closing it for him.
"O-oh... S-sorry I've just never..." Johan started, before being cut off.
"Seen a mare this good before? Of course my friend, I carry that perfect Cantlerlot style. Now then, if you would, let us head to the restaurant. It is not exactly nice to leave your date standing in the cold." She suddenly said with a slight tinge of annoyance.
Johan stared at her with a raised eyebrow and sudden confusion, but he just shrugged. He must have just caught her at a bad time...
"Oh, sure. This way," he said with a smile, leading her towards the location of the date.
It was a small restaurant near the Ponyville train station, it was actually quite famous in Equestria for serving a mix of Canterlot and Ponyville culinary convections. it was also quite famous for its sweet tasty pies and desserts, all of which came from the nearby Sweet Apple Acres.
Johan was the first to arrive, happily holding open the door for Fleur, who kind of just rushed past him without a thank you. Again, Johan just chalked it up to her not liking the cold.
Johan quickly noticed Derek and Twilight Sparkle near the back of the room, sitting at a table that was half booth, half chairs. Derek and Twilight sat across from each other, Derek taking the booth, and Twilight taking a chair. Twilight suddenly threw her head back in a boisterous laugh at one of Derek's, presumably weak, jokes.
Derek wore a suit of black plate armor. Yes, actual armor. He wore that instead of a suit because 'it looked really cool.' Twilight on the other hand, just wore the dress rarity made her. It really highlighted her general look. Rarity was good at that.
Johan turned to Fleur. "There's our... table..." He started, noticing that Fluer had already rushed past him, already heading towards the table.
Johan frowned slightly, following after her. 'Well that's kind of rude.' he thought to himself.
Johan also noticed that she took the booth seat, sitting right next to Derek. Now that definitely raised some red flags.
"Hey hey, Johan! Glad you could make it man! And who's this? Heheh, didn't expect you to pick up such a fine little mare..." Derek said winking at her with a smile. Twilight huffed but ultimately laughed it off. She was used to Derek flirting with every mare he saw.
Johan glared at him before turning his gaze to watch Fleur as he took his own chair, quickly opening the menu... nothing really looked all that appealing, to be honest. The menu had lots of weird foods on it that he, just plain didn't understand.
Escargot de druid? Soupe à l’oignon? Cerf rôti? All of it flew right over his head. He'd just settle on the food he recognized the most. Prench Toast. He smiled as he set down the menu.
The second he put down his menu though, he noticed something that made his heart sink. Directly in front of him, without even trying to hide it, Fleur was practically hanging off Derek.
"Oh ho Derek. You are such a tease," she giggled as Derek laughed. He quickly retreated though.
"Yo Fleur, this feels kind of wrong. I mean, you came here with Johan after all." Derek said turning his gaze to Johan. A slight smile came to Johan's face at that... maybe Derek was going to play nice on this date after all!
"Ah don't worry about it. Johan is just a friend, right Johan?" She asked staring the deer right in the eyes. "I asked him to take me on this date so I would have the pleasure of meeting you."
Johan's jaw dropped as he looked to Twilight. She didn't seem to mind all that much, although she did throw a concerned look at him.
"B-b-but..." Johan stammered but Fleur ignored him.
"I think Mr. Derek, after this date, me, you and Twilight should go back to your place. Have a little fun... just the three of us?" She winked.
Derek's eyes widened and a smile came to his face. "Well shit! A three-way? Nice! You ok with that Twilight?" he asked quickly turning his gaze to his purple unicorn date.
"I-I mean... I am not against the idea... but don't you think this is a little unfair?" Twilight asked rubbing one of her arms.
"Unfair? To who?" Derek asked wrapping a hoof around Fleur. Suddenly, two hooves slammed themselves onto the table, followed by a bang.
All eyes in the room were suddenly on Johan, who had stood up fast enough to knock his chair to the ground. He stared angrily at Derek. His eyes felt watery and he felt his teeth clench with enough force that he felt like they might crack.
Derek looked at him with confusion, like the inconsiderate asshole he was. Twilight with more of her faux-concern and Fleur just stared at him angrily, as if asking 'how dare you ruin this for me?' She just wanted to use him to get close to Derek. That is what always happens. That is the only reason he existed, to be a stepping stone for people to use to get close to Derek!
Johan opened his mouth to start screaming at him, but he was silenced quickly by a hoof on his back.
Two waiters suddenly came up behind him.
"Sir, I'd ask if you didn't make a scene..."
Johan glared at them. "Don't worry. I was just leaving."
The deer wrested himself clear of the two waiters and stomped out of the building. Then he kept going, even when it started to rain. He didn't stop walking until he made it to his house. He threw open the door and walked inside, slamming it shut behind him. He quickly threw himself onto his couch.
No matter how much he tried to be strong then, he couldn't hold himself back. He broke down, crying silently into his hooves.
Johan laid in his bed the morning after his ill-fated date. He hadn't moved ever since he woke up, and it had been hours since then. His clock read that it was about 2pm, give or take a couple of minutes.
Johan missed his electric clock. Those circle ones were kinda hard to read. He sighed as he sunk further into bed. He didn't have the motivation to get out of bed to do chores. Or do any exercise. Or anything really. All he could will himself to do was sit up occasionally, before lying right back down.
He was suddenly altered to the sound of rapping on wood. Someone was knocking on his door... It was probably Derek, here to torment him some more.
"Go away!" He shouted angrily, not getting out of bed. The knocks kept coming though. Eventually, however, Johan heard his door open.
"God damn it!" Johan growled, getting out of bed. He marched to the door, fury in his eyes. "Can't you tell when someone wants to be left alone you worthless piece of... Oh."
Standing in his living room with a confused look in his eyes, was a tiny purple wingless dragon.
"Hey, Spike." Johan sighed as he lowered his head. "Sorry I thought you were someone else..."
Spike chuckled. "You look terrible bud. You ok? Twilight told me you stormed out of the date last night." Spike said putting a hand on Johan's shoulder, leading him to the couch.
"I... I guess... Derek just really pissed me off yesterday. Well... he pisses me off a lot actually..." Johan grumbled as he sat down.
"Yeah, the dudes a total tool. I wish Twilight, Rarity, and everyone else would just stop talking about him." Spike laughed, as he stood up and walked to the fridge. He opened it and reached inside, grabbing two popsicles.
Johan watched him as he hopped over the back of the couch, landing next to him and handing him one of the popsicles before laying back. His was grape flavored.
Johan sighed as he opened his own wrapper. Blue Raspberry, his favorite flavor. Johan smiled slightly.
"So," Spike said after taking a literal bite out of his popsicle. Guess Dragons didn't get cold teeth... that actually made a lot of sense.
"Tell me all about what happened last night. It's good to talk about this kind of thing, ya know?" Spike said with a warm smile.
"I... shouldn't... I don't want to ramble..." Johan mumbled as he looked away, idly licking his popsicle.
"Come on man. Things will only get worse unless you talk about them. You know you can trust me right?" Spike asked with a smile. That was true. Spike was perhaps the only person in town who didn't like Derek. Besides Johan of course.
His exact words when asked why were simply; 'I read enough comics to recognize a shitty Gary Stu when I see one.'
Johan and Spike had actually bonded over that quite a lot, and over time the two had connected rather well. Spike was the only person in his life Johan felt he could actually talk to.
"I... if you say so I guess," Johan said sitting up, handing his half-eaten popsicle to his friend. He cleared his throat and inhaled.
"I... I guess I am really mad at Derek because... because..." Johan gave a deep inhale. He just had to force it out.
"Because I am sick of him always being the best! I hate how popular he is, I hate how everything goes his way, I hate that everyone loves him so much, and I especially hate the way he treats me!" Johan suddenly yelled slamming his hooves onto the coffee table.
He started to pace.
"I hate living near him! No one likes me, they are all too focused on how much better Derek is then me. Whenever I meet someone, they automatically think of me as some kind of patsy that will carry them directly to Derek! Everyone does this to me! But you know what, it wouldn't even be that bad if there weren't the people who just treat me like an object and pretend to be my friend until they can get close to Derek! I hate it!!!"
Johan stopped, panting. He felt as though his vision had gone red for a couple of seconds there. He sat down and covered an eye with one of his hooves, he felt tears again. God, he was so pathetic.
He suddenly felt a claw on his back. "You know I ain't like that right?" Spike suddenly asked with a warm smile.
Johan breathed a clam, shaky breath. He nodded back at his friend who patted him twice on the back. "Yeah. You're great..."
Spike sat back again and Johan rejoined him on the couch.
"So, if you hate living here in Derek's shadow so much... why don't you move away? Leave Ponyville and never look back." Spike asked gently handing Johan's popsicle back.
"W-well... I don't want to leave you behind with him, for one." Johan said with a dry laugh.
"Oh, come on man, don't worry about me," Spike said pulling his hands back in a sign of surrender. "I barely talk to him so I can put up with him just fine."
"W-well, the main problem is that I... I just can't leave." Johan whimpered, laying down. "I mean, look at me. I'm a deer. No way can I even get a job, what with ponies who have the magical ability to be perfect at any task, thanks to their ass tattoos, they'd be much better and much cheaper workers than me. And if you don't have a job, you can't get a house, food or... anything really."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "I-if you don't have a job or any money, how come you have food and own a house right now?"
"I don't. Derek gave me this shack near his mansion so I would be close to him and not homeless. Plus he gives me a couple of bits every now and then so I don't starve. Besides, this isn't even a house. I don't even have a bathroom."
"N-no bathroom? Then how do you..."
"There is an outhouse and a water pump out back." Johan groaned laying back.
"Ew..." Spike groaned.
"That leads into the second reason I can't leave though." Johan sighed as he threw the, now completely picked clean, wooden popsicle stick away. "Derek won't let me leave..."
"W-what?" Spike asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Derek says that if I ever leave Ponyville, one of his many 'enemies' or 'rivals' would scoop me up and use me as a human shield to beat him. Not to mention he wants me to stay as close to him as possible for 'moral support'. Whenever I stray too far away or out of town, he always teleports right to me, gives me a stern talking too, and zaps me right back to my hut..." Johan sighed sadly.
Spike blinked twice. "Oh, sweet Celestia. That sounds awful, you're his prisoner?"
"K-kinda... I... don't want to talk about it. Can we change the subject to something less depressing..." Johan mumbled.
Spike frowned at him but nodded. "Uh... sure. Anything in particular."
Johan suddenly smiled. He sat up.
"Any way you can grab some of your comics and bring them here? I'm in the mood for a good superhero story." He asked with a smirk.
Derek sang to himself as he shampooed his mane in his giant shower, which was large enough to fit five ponies comfortably. It was an old human song, unknown to the ponies of Equestria, but one would recognize it as a much more upbeat version of 'Crawling' by Linkin Park.
After being satisfied with his washing, Derek turned off the shower and stepped at. He smiled and snapped his talons, pointing at a reflection of himself stepping out of the shower making the exact same pose. Except it wasn't a mirror, it was a painting.
Derek's horn sparked and he was instantly dried and his hair was instantly perfected into the vaguely messy style he loved. He smirked as he opened his door and prepared to walk out, only to come face to face with a small purple dragon who stared up at him with an angry look on his face, arms crossed in front of his chest.
Derek took to the air in fright, dropping into a battle pose and sparking his horn. He stared down at the Dragon for a second before sighing.
"Sorry, my guy. You startled me, man." Derek said settling down back on the floor. "Anything I can do for you? Autograph maybe? Uh... how did you even get in here?"
"Your front door was unlocked," Spike said, not stopping his icy glare into Derek's soul.
"Oh, heheh, yeah, I am not used to people trying to break in, guess locking the door kind of slipped my mind," Derek said with a laugh.
Spike's frown deepened. "I had a little talk with Johan earlier." He growled, his eyes narrowing.
Derek blinked twice. "You did? Uh... what did he say if I might ask?"
"Oh nothing much," Spike said walking away, hopping up onto a couch in the living room that was attached to the bathroom Derek had chosen to use today. One of a dozen. "Only that while you've been living in an opulent mansion with your every needs magically fulfilled almost instantly, Johan has to live in a tiny shack nearby that doesn't even half a bathroom, or heating during the winter. That and the fact that you literally refuse to let him leave town."
Derek's arrogant persona instantly disappeared, replaced by one of concern, disappointment, and disapproval. He sighed and walked into the room, taking a seat on another couch.
"I think I can explain everything. I swear it is not as bad as Johan makes it out to be..." Derek mumbled to himself as he snapped a talon. Instantly, two teacups magically filled themselves in the kitchen and floated up into either of their hands.
"Are you sure? Because it looks really bad from where I am sitting." Spike growled as he set his tear aside on a nearby end table. Instantly the teacup raised into the air, a coaster flying directly under it, before the teacup set itself back down.
"I guess I'll start with the easier option first," Derek said taking a sip of his tea, before setting it aside. It too was given a coaster. "Tell me, what do you know about deer?"
Spike froze. "L-less than I should, considering I am friends with one..."
"I know I don't look like the type," Derek started, "But I am quite the avid reader. I have studied alot about this world's races, and let me tell you this."
Derek leaned it. "Deer are, I'm sorry to say, pathetic. For starters, they don't have magic, any at all. Usually when a race has no magic like the gryphons or yaks, they make up for it somehow, like the gryphons with the ability to fly and hands, or the yaks with their freakishly high strength. Not as strong as me of course though."
Derek laughed at his own joke, which was only funny to him. It just made Spike frown more.
"Deer don't have either of that though," Derek continued, resuming his serious tone. "Deer are weak and tiny and... helpless. I mean, look at Earth Ponies. They also can't do any spells. But they make up for it with their abilities with working the earth, alongside their cutie marks with making them automatic masters at whatever they are supposed to do. Deer can't do that, which means they will always be upstaged in whatever they want to do by any pony who does it. Do I even need to bring up what it's like in the Deer Kingdom? Let me tell you, that it isn't pretty. It involves lots of trouble with their neighbors the elk."
Derek shook his head.
"If Johan tried to make it on his own, he would be crushed at every opportunity by other races. Earth Ponies will always be better at physical work, Pegasi will always upstage him with their ability to fly, and do I even need to mention what Unicorns could do? He'd never be able to get a job to provide for himself? Do you think that cottage is bad? Imagine him living on the street. That isn't even counting what other races might do. A dragon or a gryphon might try to eat him, and an elk would one hundred percent try to enslave him if they ever crossed paths. He can't make it alone. He just can't."
Spike frowned at him, standing up. "Well, what if he wants to take that chance, without you dictating everything in his life? Huh?" He shouted suddenly, quickly covering his mouth afterward.
Derek stopped and sighed. "I just want to take care of him ok? If anything, anything at all, happened to him and I couldn't keep him safe, I'd never be able to forgive myself. Did I ever tell you that Johan and I got to Equestria after a car crash?"
"Well, you did say that, but you never told me what a car is..." Spike replied sitting down.
"I'll explain later, but I was the one driving that car, ok. I got us both killed. And we didn't die at the same time." Derek said standing up. "I survived for a couple of minutes after the crash, and when I saw Johan lying there, limp and covered in blood, and I realized that I did that to him... I..."
Derek turned away and stopped for a couple of seconds. He cleared his throat and sat back down, steeling himself. "I promised myself that if I was given a second chance, nothing like that would ever happen to him again. Not a single scratch."
Spike was quiet for a long time afterward. He sighed. "Maybe you should just tell Johan that..."
Derek shook his head. "I just can't. I... I don't know what to tell him, ok?"
Spike scoffed. "Why not? Just tell him what you told me, it's that easy."
Derek slammed his claws down, standing up. "How am I supposed to look someone I got killed in the eyes and tell him that I think it's my fault huh?"
Spike bit his tongue. He really didn't have an answer.
Derek stood up and started to walk out of the room. "Maybe you should leave. I don't want to talk about this anymore." He said as he slammed the door behind him. Spike got up and rushed after him to try and continue the conversation, but instead, there was a flash of light and he suddenly found himself outside of the front door of Derek's mansion.
An earth pony stood atop a metal balcony which emerged from the side of a mountain far, far, far away from Ponyville, and the rest of Equestria too. He wore a suit that completely obscured his form. It consisted of a black tuxedo with a neon yellow ascot hanging from around his neck. He wore a helmet that resembled a Pembridge styled Greathelm, though it had no holes for his eyes. Instead, it had a neon yellow light that ran in a cross shape from his forehead to his jaw.
The pony overlooked a large spruce forest at the bottom mountain, it stretched on for miles and miles over hills and flat country. It was rather beautiful, but he was not scanning the terrain, rather he was scanning the sky, looking for someone. Every few minutes he would pull out a pocket watch glance down it and hissed. He was late. By several minutes in fact.
He gave a sigh of annoyance when a shadow blanketed the balcony. Turning upwards he saw as a cloud in the shape of a pegasus start to descend down to meet him.
"You are late, Tornado." The pony said, his voice was atypical of what one would expect of mad scientists. For he did not have a german accent. On top of that, he had a very metallic, synthetic tone to his voice.
"Sorry." The cloud pegasus mumbled as he dropped to the ground. The clouds all disappeared at once, revealing a pegasus with blue fur, and messy black hair with yellow tips. A yellow lightning bolt sigil sat on his face. His cutie mark was that of a pegasus made of clouds shooting lightning out of a hoof.
"It matters not. Come. We have business to attend to." The Earth Pony said as he turned face and walked towards a metal door built into the side of the mountain. It opened like a submarine bulkhead, allowing both of them in.
"How went the fight?" The Earth Pony asked as he traveled down a metal hallway lit by dim neon purple lights.
"That arrogant fucker kicked my ass, how do you think it went?" Tornado hissed.
"Language, please. There are children in this facility." The Earth Pony said darkly as they entered through another door. They entered a new room. Giant glass tubes filled the room from end to end. Each one had a pony suspended in transparent liquid, breathing apparatus were attached to their mouths and noses.
The ponies looked to be between the ages of six and sixteen, but the really disturbing part was that they all looked to be the exact same pony. They were dark grey earth ponies with slicked-back yellow hair and a cutie mark consisting of a dna strand.
The armored Earth Pony walked up to one of the pods, gently stroking a hoof over the glass. "Magnificent aren't they? My very own children," he said with a laugh.
"Yeah yeah sure... uh... mind if I ask why in Celestia's name-" Torando, started but was cut off.
"I would prefer it if you refrained from using that name in this laboratory. The names of deities are bad luck when you are committing crimes against nature." The Earth Pony turned away from his pod and started approaching him.
Tornado growled. "Whatever. Do you mind telling me why I was sent up against that holier than thou scumbag in the first place?"
"It was to serve as an experiment to reinforce my hypothesis." The Earth Pony said stopping in front of him. "That being that Derek was indeed undefeatable by any one individual."
Tornado suddenly snarled, lightning crackling into existence suddenly around him. The Earth Pony did not flinch or show any fear. Not that Tornado could tell anyway. The mask shielded his emotions perfectly.
"You mean you sent me in to fight on my own, just to test something that you already know?" Tornado hissed. The Earth Pony silenced him with a raised hoof.
"Quiet. You are not angry. You know that I am the only thing alive who really stands a chance to defeat Derek don't you?" The Earth Pony said, turning around and walking past the rest of his tubes. Tornado snarled. Unfortunately, he was right. The pegasus started following after him.
"Now then," He said as he entered a new room, this time with a table and a corkboard. More doors sat on the walls of the room, which led further into the facility. "Let us discuss our plans."
"Uh huh..." Tornado said, shrugging and taking a seat. "You uhhh... know I never got your name..."
"Epoxy." The Earth Pony said. "As in glue, which is what I plan to turn Derek into when I am done with him."
Epoxy chuckled as he sat down. "Now then. Do you know why I hired you in the first place?"
Tornado shrugged. "Should I care? Cash is cash." Tornado sat back in his chair, expecting a long-winded explanation.
Epoxy merely chuckled, sitting up. "Cute, but you should. My plans will revolutionize this world."
Epoxy turned to the corkboard and smirked. It was covered in pictures of Derek and a small deer.
"Derek is a human. His species is much, much more scientifically advanced than us. Who knows what knowledge is stored in his head. Unfortunately, as much of a scientist I pride myself to be, my knowledge stems to the science of the genetic variety. But think of what rests inside the brain of a human? What knowledges of engineering, biology, physics, astronomy and more would you suppose rests inside of the head of a human?" Epoxy said as he approached the painting of Derek.
Tornado cringed when, with a horrible sound, a blade made of bone emerged from Epoxy's wrist, the scientist stabbing it violently into a picture of Derek.
"What comes next then?" Tornado asked standing up. "Not like we can actually beat him enough to drag him here and get that information out..."
Epoxy laughed in response.
"Oh, poor naive pegasus. You forget." Epoxy dragged his blade across the corkboard, cutting a deep, horizontal ravine through the cork. Eventually, he arrived at the picture of Johan which he circled.
Johan was sitting inside a furniture store with a look of annoyance on his face. After months of saving up spare pennies and change, he finally had enough money to buy himself a recliner or some other kind of comfortable chair. The problem was however, that he couldn't figure out which one to get!
"Uhhh... let's see... A leather recliner would be good in winter and stuff... but during the summer that shit burns..." He mumbled to himself, before turning over to look at a cloth recliner. "Cloth would be nice year round... but not as comfortable... hmm...."
His eyes suddenly widened. "Wait a minute. Ponies don't eat meat. Where the hell do they get the leather from?"
His mind went to the fur trappers of the wild west. You know the ones. The one who hunted buffalo only for their fur, didn't touch the meat and almost made them extinct.
Johan shook his head, deciding to take a more optimistic approach for once and assume that the leather was purchased from like... gryphon hunters or something. They ate meat right?
"Well I guess that settles it. Cloth it is." Johan did a heel turn and walked up to the counter, plopping a sack of bits in front of the clerk. They were a massive brown draft horse with a black mane. They looked big enough that it needed to bend down to enter through any door. Johan would be lying if he didn't feel more than a little intimidated by it.
"Yes, hello! I would like to purchase that recliner in the back please." Johan said with a small smile.
The Clerk wasn't looking, he was currently embroiled with reading a large catalog of future furniture he could get in his shop. It didn't seem to slow him down though, as he expertly, counted the bits up, gave Johan his change, and the receipt.
"There you are, thank you for shopping at Mustang's Recliners. Between you and me, please don't shop at quills and sofas. I heard they stuff their pillows full of quills instead of normal feathers. It must get ink all over the place." The stallion, presumably named Mustang, said.
"Uh... thanks. Anyway you can help me get this thing to my house? The sign outside said you do free installations and well, I am kinda weak..." Johan said shrinking a little as the stallion stood up, dwarfing him immensely.
"Certainly, I'm sorry I almost forgot about tha..." Mustang than noticed for the first time who he was talking to. His eyes instantly narrowed. "I remember you..."
"O-oh y-you do?" Johan said, sweat pooling at his brow. His legs suddenly became shaky as the stallion angrily peered at him.
"Yes. You were at the store the day before yesterday! As I remember, you acted like a ginormous Class A jerk when all everyone wanted to do was ask you a couple questions about Derek." Mustang bent down, his face an inch away from Johan's. "Sorry to say, but I don't help jerks who hurt people's feelings."
Johan blinked a couple times, stuttering for words. "B-b-but..." Johan stammered, before the stallion suddenly grabbed him.
He hoisted the little deer over his back with little trouble, marched out, and threw him out of the shop. The deer sailed for a couple meters before skidding to a halt in a small crater in the middle of the dirt roads of Ponyville.
Mustang then marched out, carrying the recliner Johan had just purchased. The little deer flinched, expecting the massive stallion to throw the chair at him, but instead they simply put the chair down in front of him.
Mustang dusted off his hooves before walking back inside and slamming the door behind him.
Thicket twitched several times as he tried to stand up. "Owie..."
Johan grunted as, with all his strength, he tried to drag his new chair but no matter he did it wouldn't budge.
"Ahhhhhh!" He shouted as he put even more and more force into his pull. Instead he lost his footing and fell to the ground with a thud.
Johan cried out in frustration was he collapsed onto his back. Suddenly the couch levitated into the air. The deer quickly sat up, seeing the recliner wrapped in a white aura as it rather eerily floated above him.
Johan quickly turned to see a unicorn stallion staring down at him. It was no ordinary unicorn however. It's coat was a beautiful platinum white, his hair was a short cyan mane in a very... civilized look. His eyes were a similar sparkling platinum in color. He wore a suit of armor that was made of platinum just like his coat. There was so much platinum colored stuff on this guy that his name was actually somewhat obvious. Platinum Shine.
Platinum Shine smiled down at Johan as he stepped forwards. "Hey there. Need some help?"
Johan simply screamed in response and tried desperately to scamper to his feet. He knew exactly who this guy was! He was one of the greatest villains on the planet! Derek even saw him as his worst enemy!
"Hey hey hey! Calm down!" Platinum said in a surprisingly concerned voice. A wall of white magic suddenly appeared in front of Johan.
"No! Derek told me this would happen one day! A villain was going to try to kidnap or murder me to get back at Derek! Well I am not going to go down without a fight!" Johan suddenly turned around and charged at Platinum, antlers down with all the force of an angry deer.
Platinum merely sighed and raised a hoof. Johan ran forehead first into the hoof. He was stopped in his tracks. He kept charging though, his hooves digging into the dirt road even though he wasn't going anywhere.
"Look. Bud." Platinum said looking down at Johan. "First of all, I literally don't know who you are."
Johan stopped running and blinked in confusion. The deer looked up at Platinum. "B-b-but I am like... Derek's best friend or... something."
"And?"
That was a first. People usually knew exactly who he was. Well. Kinda. Usually they just knew him because he was friends with Derek, obviously.
"Secondly," Platinum took his hoof back and stepped back. "I've given up on villainy."
"W-what? But you were like... the best villain ever!" Johan suddenly shouted, throwing his arm up. "Last time you fought Derek you literally broke his arm!"
Platinum sighed and looked down. "Let me guess, now you are going to call me a monster?"
"Hell no! That was awesome!" Johan shouted, throwing his hooves in the air. "You were the first dude to ever pop that self righteous piece of crap's bubble and it was the best!"
Johan quickly realized what he said and quickly shut up, covering his mouth with his hooves.
"... Sounds like you and your 'best friend have some... problems..." Platinum said with a light frown.
"Yeah..." Johan replied looking down guiltily.
There was a couple minutes of awkward silence
"So uh... Do you want my help moving this chair or... what?" Platinum asked looking up at it.
"Oh, please do!" Johan cried in relief.
Chapter 7: New Friends and Construction Projects Are Nice
Johan let out a sigh of relief as he arrived at his house, his new recliner floating in the air behind him, held aloft by Platinum Shine.
"Here it is, El Casa de Johan." He said with a slight sense of pizzazz as he gestured to his shack.
"It's uh... rather depressing." Platinum said with a grimace.
"Yep." Johan replied. "But hey, no windows means I get quite a nice breeze going during the summer. So it's nice and cool most of the time."
"And what about the winter?" The unicorn asked. Johan shrugged.
"Fire place?"
"Fair enough I suppose. I mean, people have survived in this kind of house for thousands of years right?" Platinum asked approaching the front door.
"Yeah." Johan said opening the door and letting Platinum in. He stepped in first and gestured for Platinum to follow him.
Platinum stepped in and frowned at what he saw. The house was just so... tiny! It actually kind of made him mad that he had to live in such cramped conditions.
"Are you sure you will be able to fit you chair in here in the first place?" Platinum asked with a slight hiss.
"Oh, I was actually going to put the recliner out front and make like a porch or something for myself, I just needed to grab some stuff from in here first." Johan said as he rushed to the kitchen. He pent down behind a counter and started fiddling with some stuff as Platinum awkwardly stood there.
"Oof, stupid antlers." "Get on you." and more came from behind the Counter before Johan suddenly stood up, wearing a Construction helmet with two holes punched in it which his antlers emerged from. He was also holding a hammer for some reason.
Platinum blinked twice. "What uh... whatcha doing with that bud?"
Johan marched past him, hammer still in hoof. "The other day, I thought to myself after a talk with a friend. 'Hey Johan, you're kinda freaking stuck here for the rest of your life. So fuck it, nothing is gonna get better until I make it better.' Now I am going to do a little home improvement, starting with a porch!" He declared, determination ripe in his voice.
Platinum followed him back outside and around to the side of the house where the little deer had a bunch of pieces of plywood stacked next to the truck of a chopped down tree, a bucket of nail on said trunk.
"I have been saving up money for the wood and nails ever since, and I thought that a recliner would be the perfect bit of furniture for it!" Johan said as he walked up to the pile. With great struggle, he picked up one of the large boards of plywood, dragging it towards the front of his house.
"So the recliner is going outside? Umm... maybe you should have gotten like a rocking chair instead. This thing is made of cloth. You are going to get so many bugs inside it and don't forget the stains..." Platinum said as he turned to look at the recliner, still gently floating besides them.
Johan had just lined up a board with his house and prepared to nail it into the dirt ground, not yet realizing that he needed a foundation for his porch, before he smacked himself in the face, yet again realizing that he was still holding his hammer, leading to a large crack forming in the front of his hammer and a large CLUNK to echo through the air.
"Stupid Deer! Why didn't I think of that!" He shouted loudly.
"Hey! Hey hey hey, don't worry about it." Platinum said turning to the Deer. "I got you."
His horn flashed and a bright light surrounded the recliner. When the light dissipated, in it's place was now a small comfy looking rocking chair, complete with two little antlers on the back to make it stylish.
Johan blinked up at it for a few seconds as he stuck a nail into the wood. Johan smiled happily. "Oh my god, thank you so much man."
Platinum smirked down at him. "No need to thank me. It just seemed like the nice thing to do. I do have a question though."
Johan raised an eyebrow up at him. He was so focused looking at him, that when he swung a nail down at the nail he had readied, he missed and instead struck himself right in the hoof! He yelped in pain jumping back and swinging his hoof to dull the pain.
"Ah! Crap!" He cried out.
"Yeah, seems about right." Platinum exclaimed with a small chuckle. "Have you ever built anything before? Ever?"
"Ahhh, shit." Johan said as he shook his poor little hoof. "W-well, I did play a lot of minecraft when I was a human. Does that count?"
"I don't have any idea what that is, but I am going to assume it does not count at all." Platinum said stepping forwards. "Here, let me help you, it is clear that you need it."
"Uhm, ok... Are you sure you want to help me? I mean... surely you have more important things to do..." Johan said shirking back as Platinum bent down next to him.
"Nah. You have me for the rest of the day." Platinum laughed at his own jest as his horn glowed. The plywood moved slightly as the ground under it hardened, becoming a nice stable foundation for it.
The unicorn's horn wrapped the nail Johan was using in magic and lined it up for him. "After you."
Johan smirked as he readied his hammer and with all the force of Thor, he smashed the nail into the foundation. An excited grin came to his face as he stood up testing the board. It needed a couple more nails to keep it stable but other than that it was good!
"Get me some more nails! Let's do this!"
The two worked through the afternoon, and thanks to Platinum's magic, the two finished just in time for them to sit down and watch the sunset together, Johan sitting down in his new rocking chair and platinum sitting down at the edge of the porch.
"Thank you so much! I don't think I'd get this done without you." Johan said as he rocked back and forth in his chair, a new sense of optimism coming to his mind that he had been missing for so long.
"You're welcome." Platinum said smiling back at him. "But I don't think we are done quite yet."
The unicorn stood up and walked in a circle around the edge of the patio. "I think we should set up a fence. And a roof. Ya know, in case it rains."
Johan stood up and joined Platinum, who had a hoof on his chin.
"Well uh... if you want to help me at all... I have a couch inside for you to crash on. If your up for it... I can't imagine an Ex-villain has many places to sleep at..." Johan said, rather embarrassed.
Platinum merely let out a hearty laugh. He turned to the deer with a grin.
"Very well then, Mr. Johan." Platinum exclaimed. "I shall take you up on your offer!"
Far from Equestria, in a desert far to the south east, past Gryphonstone, past the Dragon lands, past even Mount Aris, stood a single gryphon with dark grey feathers in light grey armor carrying an incredibly long curved blade. He stood down at least ten or even twenty Yeti, or Storm Beasts or whatever they were called.
The gryphon didn't care enough to figure out their names, or even to figure out exactly how many of them there were. The first one lunged at him, and he simply side stepped the strike, drawing his blade and easily slicing him clean in half. Another rushed him spear down.
The gryphon smirked and rushed him. With a flurry of blade strikes, he cleaved the spear into at least eight different pieces. The beast stepped back and looked down. It felt up it's chest and then pointed and laughed at him, thinking he did no damage to him. His arm then fell off, splitting into little pieces as it fell.
The creature screamed out and collapsed onto it's back grabbing at it's new stump arm. It kicked it's legs and cried out again and again.
The gryphon twirled his sword and stepped forwards with a yawn as the rest of the storm beasts growled at him.
"Are you idiots going to attack or are you just going to keep standing there?" He said with a smirk coming to his beak. The beasts roared in anger and attacked him all at once.
"Goody." He growled darkly, before charging in. He slashed his sword violently, hacking through bone and flesh just as easily. The first five beasts were cleaved in half, but he kept going.
Each slash of his blade ended one of their lives, causing them to collapse to the ground with a crash, a massive slash cleaving through their body.
Soon enough the gryphon was down to but two beasts left, who were cowering in fear. He raised an eyebrow. Usually these creatures were fearless. A crash of thunder behind him triggered the beasts to flee, terrified screams following after them, their tails between their legs.
The gryphon quickly spun around pointing his blade at the new arrival. He found himself face to face with a deep blue pegasus, who had his hooves raised into the air in the universal sign of surrender. The tip of his blade was an inch away from the pegasus's chin.
"I have a proposition for you!" The Pegasus cried out, a slight tinge of panic in his voice.
In a swamp, close to the mountain in which Epoxy made his home, sat a metal facility. Inside was a series of bedrooms, kitchens and servants going about their work. One particular room however, had a table with 6 figures sitting around it. Sitting near the head of the table were Tornado and a Gryphon whom was polishing his sword.
There was also a unicorn with a black coat and purple hair styled in a mullet like hairdo. She wore a purple skin suit that covered everything but her head. Her face was that of abstract interest, eyeing the only other female at the table with... odd intent.
Sitting across from her was a dragon. Well, it looked like a dragon. In truth it was nothing but a giant ball of fire in the vague shape of a dragon. Thankfully it could control what it burned so the room was in no risk of catching alight. It sat there perfectly straight, no one being able to tell what he was thinking, mostly because it had no definable facial features in the slightest.
Next to the dragon there was another pegasus, though this one looked like he was made of ice, unlike Tornado. She was the smallest person in the room, but she didn't care, a smile on her face while she kicked her legs excitedly. She also didn't seem to mind the fact that she was sitting next to something literally made of fire while she was made of ice, showing no signs of melting.
Finally, last (and certainly least) was a yellow earth pony stallion with pink hair and a tan tail. His cutie mark was that of a pencil. He was idly drawing on the table with his pencil, but what he drew would suddenly pick itself up as if it were a living entity stuck to the table and walk around, always causing the earth pony to giggle.
The doors to the room suddenly opened and everyone's eyes (or lack there of in the case of the dragon) snapped to it as Epoxy stepped out. He walked forwards, eventually coming to the head of the table and turned to see his guests.
"Hmm. I can't help but notice we are missing someone." Epoxy said as he stared ahead. All eyes turned to where he was looking. An empty chair on the opposite head of the table to him.
Tornado shrugged. "Yeah, Platinum Shine. Trust me I looked everywhere for him. He is either dead, or in Ponyvile, and I am not going there with Derek within a hundred miles of the place. That is suicide."
Epoxy nodded and turned to the wall behind him. A slideshow series of images flashed across the wall before settling on a picture of deer standing behind Derek with a glum look on his face, looking at the camera with a look of apathy.
"I brought you all here for one simple reason. His mind is likely full of secrets that will be nothing but beneficial to life on this world. Secrets of medicine, engineering, astronomy, everything from his own world. It is all stored inside his head, and I need to get to him." Epoxy said with a dark smirk under his helmet. He then turned to his guests.
"I brought you all here because you are all the greatest at what you do. Villains of unparalleled talent in what they do." Epoxy said gesturing to each of the people with him.
"Tornado, whose control over the weather is completely above any other pegasus in all of history." He said gesturing to the pegasus, a smug smile coming to said individual's face.
"Gregor Aka Fencer, the greatest bladescreature in all the world." The gryphon in question merely acknowledged him by looking at him out of the corner of his eyes.
"Void, a being of pure darkness in the vague shape of a unicorn, whom it is said taught the great King Sombra how to use dark magic in the first place." Void rolled her eyes.
"I did. Worst mistake of my life though. Now I have been eclipsed in power by some pathetic stallion." She said. Epoxy, and everyone else at the table, simply ignored her and carried on.
"Inferno, a sentient flame born on the day the first dragon breathed fire into the world. A boon to be sure!" Epoxy said gesturing to the dragon. He paused for a couple seconds, expecting some kind of reaction from it. It didn't move at all, barring the flickering of it's flames.
He didn't get a chance to introduce the ice pegasus. "Oh my gosh, my name is Chilblain and I am a big fan of all of you guys! You are all total inspirations! Well, except you two, cause I haven't ever really heard of you..." She said pointing to Epoxy and Fencer, neither of them seemed to care though. "I have the power to control ice and I am a total killer! Like, the other day this guard tried to stop me when I was robbing a bank and I totally froze him solid! That was so cool! Not to mention I-"
She was interrupted by Epoxy. "We will have a chance to discuss introductions later, please refrain from continuing to have such outbursts until we are done."
"Oh right sorry." Chilblain replied.
Finally, Epoxy turned to to last one there, who stared up at him with excitement.
"Lastly, we have Sketcher... who will make perfect cannon fodder." Epoxy exclaimed dryly.
"Yeah, you know I will!" Sketcher cried standing up and pumping a hoof in their air. He sat down after his outburst and turned to Void.
"What does cannon fodder mean?" He whispered to her. Void ignored her.
"Now then, settle in. Our plan is a simple one. We shall gather our strength and work on forming effective means of social communication and team work, before the six of you take on Derek all at once as a distraction while I claim the Deer. Once he is ours we will all retreat to this base, where you will form a defensive barrier between Derek and my fortress while I... extract the information I need." Epoxy claimed, manipulating the slide show behind him as he spoke, images of Derek and his fortress coming up as he finished up.
"Yeah, I got one." Chilblain said raising her hoof. "We are going to fight Derek directly? Isn't that, ya know, suicide?"
"In a one on one fight? Oh yes, most definitely. But if the six of you take him on all at once, not only do your odds of survival increase exponentially, but so do your odds of potentially beating him. Not to mention, your goal isn't to steal anything or kill him, only to keep him distracted for long enough for me to steal the Deer, then you will retreat." Epoxy explained stepping forwards. "Any other questions?"
"Uh huh." Tornado said lazily raising his hoof. "How are you even going to get anything useful out of him? If he actually know how to make any technology work, don't you think he would have done it already?"
"Myes I thought of that and I have a solution." Epoxy turned to the slide show and pressed one more button. An image of what looked like a drill mixed with a syringe came up. "The mind may forget, but the neurons remember forever. I will use this to drill into his hippocampus and drain the information directly from his mind, every memory he has ever had will be mine with perfect clarity. Every time he has ever had the functions of a piece of technology explained to him, every time he has even seen a blueprint in his life, hell, every time he has ever seen a piece of tech broken I will know and be able to reverse engineer it."
Epoxy turned to the rest. All of the other villains, barring Inferno and Fencer, looked slightly uncomfortable at the realization that they just got hired by an actual psychopath. Sure they killed people, but they didn't torture them right? The scientist stepped forwards slamming his hooves on the table and chuckled.
"Of course, he will most likely either die or be permanently vegetated by the procedure, but in the end, the death of the individual means nothing if it benefits the collective!"
Johan sat in front of his house a smile on his face, forelegs crossed in front of his chest, and an extremely proud look on his face.
Since he had met Platinum, he had made some very big changes to the house that's for sure! The porch, which now featured a nice and stable roof and fence, was only the start. The two of them had practically bulldozed the old shack.
In the week since they had put up the porch, him and platinum went about tearing down the roof and walls and rebuilding the shack from the ground up. Thanks to platinum's magic it was incredibly easy and almost free! All they had to do was walk down to a nearby quarry, rip a couple boulders out of the wall (Microcline with a hardness rating of 6.3 and a nice series of crystalline grooves for those interested in boring stuff like geology), use magic to polish and cut the boulder into perfect bricks, and boom they were in business!
With a bit of stacking and mortaring, the bricks had formed a perfect rectangular house, and with a little fan-dangling with wooden planks and clay tiles, the house had a roof. The next day they had given said house a second floor, an attic, and much more easy to use amenities, like running water, an actual bathroom, and an upstairs bedroom. The entire bottom floor of the house was taken up by a living room and the kitchen, and this time they were even separate rooms! What made things better was that this time the house had windows with actual glass inside of them, which Platinum had made by gathering up some sand and super heating it.
Johan was honestly surprised at just how much Platinum's magic trivialized the job. It literally seemed that Platinum was putting no effort into making this house, but at the very least, the unicorn had gone out of his way more than once to make Johan feel like he was being included, leaving his mark on the house if you will. Like how he gave Johan the job of actually applying mortar to the bricks, or nailing down the clay tiles to the roof. It was actually a ton of fun for the deer!
The house was sure looking nice now that was certain. The polished microcline bricks made the house a beautiful cyan in color, (which was insanely nice because cyan was Johan's favorite color, though Platinum claimed that it was his second favorite color after platinum white, which was kinda obvious) and the porch with additional rocking chair out front looked so unbelievably comfy.
Johan couldn't help but giddily trod in place before practically sprinting inside of the house. He threw open the brand new door, made from wood from a tree chopped down from the Everfree, cause Platinum liked to live dangerously, and ran inside to be met with... disappointment.
The inside of the house was so barren. Sure it had all the furniture from his old shack inside, like his couch and his bed upstairs, and it had the new toilet, sink and bathtub in the new bathroom (which was also upstairs and, like the bedroom, walled off from the rest of the house), but besides that, it really didn't have anything. That was a total bummer to the deer. What was the point of a brand new spacious house if he had nothing to fill it.
"Why so glum bud?" Johan suddenly heard from above. The deer turned his head to see Platinum walking down the new stairs, cyan eyes locked on him.
"Oh trust me, I ain't glum, just a little... bummed I guess." Johan said with a shrug.
"Aren't they the exact same thing?" Platinum asked as he reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Uh.... Maybe? Sorry I am not really a linguist." Johan grumbled as Platinum approached him. "I'm just... ya know... I think this place is really empty ya know? But ya know, It took me months to save up to get a single recliner so I don't imagine myself being able to fill this place out in like... my entire lifetime?"
Platinum stared at the stag for a couple seconds before suddenly chuckling.
Johan raised an eyebrow as the chuckling stallion before he held out a hoof, a left over microcline brick wrapped in a white hue levitated through the air, coming in through the still open front door and landing in his hoof.
"Allow me to demonstrate why I am called Platinum Shine." the unicorn said. With a blinding flash of his horn, the brick was suddenly transmuted.
Johan, who had been forced to look away due to aforementioned flash, turned back to Platinum. In the unicorns hoof was now a solid ingot of platinum.
All Johan could manage was a long, drawn out, excited gasp.
Johan kicked open a door to a pawnshop and strode outside, two saddlebags hanging from his side absolutely loaded with bits. Platinum was waiting for him outside. It was early in the morning the next day, the store having just opened. Platinum had requested they do it then for some reason, something about 'not wanting to make a scene or something.'
"Who's the richest deer in Equestria?" Johan asked pointing to himself with a hoof, an act which almost caused him to loose his balance and stumble to the ground, "This guy!"
Platinum chuckled as the deer marched past him a smug but, at least to Platinum, ultimately cute look on his face. The unicorn let out a small snicker as he followed after him.
"So your special talent is to turn things into platinum?" Johan asked looking at Platinum with a raised eyebrow as the two walked in the direction of quills and sofas. Johan did not want to go back to Mustang's Recliners.
"Yeah, I actually got my special talent when I accidentally turned the clothes my foster mom was wearing into a solid suit of platinum. They had to cut her out with an industrial saw, but we didn't really care. That suit made us rich." Platinum said before laughing. "Only problem is that if I do it too much I end up devaluing platinum and crashing the Equestrian Economy."
"Oh. So is it kinda like King Midas's touch?" Johan asked as the two passed through town center. It was, like the rest of town, empty.
"Who's touch?" Platinum raised an eyebrow.
"King Midas. He was a king who got cursed with the ability to turn anything he touched into gold. He got really sick of it afterwards." Johan said with a shrug. "Well... actually he turned his daughter into a solid golden statue but... ya know."
"Oh, do you mean King Morabas? Who was cursed by discord to have a golden touch?" Platinum asked in reply a raised eyebrow.
Johan stopped in his place and turned to Platinum slowly. "Morabas? As in the breed of horse?"
Platinum nodded.
"I fucking hate this place sometimes." Johan said with a sigh as they approached a bridge. Two ponies were standing on the bridge, a cream colored earth pony with deep blue and pink hair, and a unicorn he recognized, which instantly gave him a headache.
"Oh hey Johan! How's it... going..." Lyra said with a wave. She had a smile on her face, which instantly vanished when she saw who Johan was with. It was instantly replaced by a look of fear.
Johan raised an eyebrow as the two mares screamed and latched onto each other shaking in fear. "Um uhh... are you too ok?" he asked as he stepped onto the bridge and approached them.
"N-no! Stay away!" The two cried before, they rose onto their back legs and threw themselves off the bridge into the slow moving creek below them.
Johan blinked a couple times, watching as they rapidly swam away.
The deer turned his eyes to Platinum who just had a blank look on his face.
"W-what was that about?" Johan asked. The unicorn sighed and turned trodding off the bridge towards the store they were going.
"I think it's pretty obvious that it was about me." Platinum said as the walked ahead, Johan quickly ran up to catch him. "Thus is the life of an ex-villain in Derek's world. There is no such thing as redemption anymore, only the villains who were beaten by him and disappeared, or the villains who swear eternal revenge."
An awkward silence dominated the two, before Johan turned to him and gulped. "S-so uhhh why did you give up villany?"
Platinum sighed. "I guess... I was just sick of being hated. Big difference it made."
Johan looked away and the silence returned.
"W-why did you become a villain in the first place? Maybe if that got out, it might help fix your reputation?" Johan asked.
Platinum sighed. "To be honest. I was never really a villain. I suppose the proper term for me was extremist vigilante. I didn't go around robbing banks or killing the innocent or anything like that."
"W-what did you do?" Johan asked the unicorn. The unicorn straightened up.
"I killed jackasses. Corrupt politicians, rich scummy tycoons, people like that." Platinum said, a slight smirk coming to his face.
"A-are you a communist?" Johan asked nervously.
"Communist? Oh god no. As if someone like me can be a communist. Nah if a rich person pays their taxes and gives to charity and does nice stuff like that, I don't have any trouble with them." Platinum said stretching his back. "Guys like Filthy Rich are also harmless. Sure they are rich but they don't hurt anyone. His wife's a bitch though."
The unicorn's smiled widened as a dark smirk came to his face. "I went for no holds barred dicks. Like this one guy who bought an entire town and tried to bulldoze it to the ground so he could mine under it for gold. I kicked that bastard into a vat of molten gold. It was fun."
"S-sounds like you liked doing." Johan said with a gulp.
This only lead to Platinum letting out another sigh.
"I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, really I did. And hey, I did save that village, but as time went on, people only grew to hate me. They didn't know why I was killing the rich and politicians around Equestria, only that I was doing it. I was plastered as an insane villainous mass murderer. Then Derek showed up."
Platinum's eye twitched with anger. "The first time we fought, we did so in the center of a crowded city. Our fight brought down more than a couple skyscraper, which ruined my reputation even more. The second fight was far worse. We leveled an entire town in that one. I tried to pay the residents to rebuild afterwards, but instead they chased me out claiming they didn't want my 'stolen' money. The third fight was when I snapped. Literally."
Platinum stopped in place and sat on his haunches, holding his fore-hooves in font of him and balling them into fists. "I got so mad at him that battle that I just plain bum rushed him and snapped his arm. I mean, he totally deserved it right?"
"Oh most definitely." Johan said with a nod.
"Yeah, but... after that I just... I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't put up with the fighting, and the hatred and the fear. So I resolved to put up my villain hat and... I'm trying to be better but I don't think it matters anymore ya know?" Platinum said with a sigh, lowering his head rather shamefully.
Johan approached the unicorn and put a hoof on his shoulder. "You know what? It means a ton to me at least. Thank you for all the help you've given me. Really."
Platinum looked up at the deer. A smile came to his face too. "You're welcome."
Johan gave a long sigh as he comfortably sank into his brand new couch which now sat comfortably in his new living room. He smiled to himself as he sniffed the air, the comforting smell of Alfredo wafting through the air. He always loved Alfredo. There were three things Johan knew how to make without burning down the kitchen. Spaghetti with red sauce, spaghetti with alfredo sauce, and mac and cheese.
He was not a good chef at all. He wasn't good at most things to be honest. What he wouldn't give to have a cutie mark. Just be an instant master at something. Like instantly being a master at cooking or building. That is the dream.
A sudden headache appeared just then. Like his skull was splitting open. He knew what that meant, though it was never usually this bad.
"Derek..." He hissed. There was a boom outside his front door, the sound of someone landing at super sonic speed. Great, now Johan had a crater in his new garden.
There was a knocking at his front door, followed by the door handle jiggling. Johan let out a miserable whimper as the door handle on his side was wrapped in a red aura, the door being unlocked and chain and bolt being undone. The door quickly slammed open after that.
"Hey Johan! Come on man, why do you always have to keep me locked out." Derek said with a smirk as he walked into the house.
Johan sat up with a growl "Derek. Haven't you heard of invites?" Derek didn't seem to hear him.
The hybrid whistled at what he saw. "Nice house! You sure got this place up quick? You keeping some kind of ability to magically make houses from me? I didn't even notice you making it."
"Y-yeah well, I'm good at renovations I guess..." Johan groaned as he stood up.
"Not too crazy about the colors though. Here let me-" Derek started his horn glowing, he was cut off by Johan.
"Don't you dare do anything to this house or I will knock you out." Johan said with a cry of sudden anger. He quickly sat down and covered his mouth with his hooves in response.
Derek quickly turned to him, his horn powering down. Johan whimpered as Derek walked towards him, towering over the small deer his eyes glowing a deep red. "Where did that come from buddy? You gonna back that up with some action?"
Johan shook his head up at the hybrid, his face completely white, his eyes widened like a deer in headlights and his body shaking.
"Good." Derek said turning and walking in the direction of the kitchen, his menacing aura suddenly disappearing. The deer rapidly deflated breathing a sigh of relief.
"Hey!" Derek cried, causing Johan to turn to him panic written on his face. "Alfredo! I remember when you used to make this back in our old home. Course, I have servants to make me food at my mansion all the time now, so I eat finer food all the time, but hey, maybe this will bring back some memories huh? Can I have some?"
The hybrid didn't wait for an answer as he grabbed a bowl from Johan's cupboard, filled it with pasta and slathered it in alfredo.
"I-I'd rather you not, I was making it to share it with a friend." Johan said timidly, but Derek had already started eating. He was also walking while eating, spreading crumbs all over the new floor.
"Yeah, that friend is me right?" Derek asked with a laugh. Johan simply sighed as he sat down at the table, joined by Derek shortly after.
"Hey Johan!" The two suddenly heard from above. "I heard the door open, do we have someone visi-"
Johan turned to see Platinum Shine standing in the door way, his eyes wide at what he saw. Derek was sitting at the table, but he was thankfully too busy scarfing down his alfredo to see that Platinum was the one who said that.
The unicorn quickly ran backwards up the stairs, the sound of a door slamming quickly coming from up above soon after.
"So you got a room mate now huh?" Derek asked with a look on his face that was half annoying smirk, have irritating glare. "How come you never introduced me to him?"
"Oh uh... uhhh... ummm..." Johan stumbled over his words uncomfortably as Derek stood up (leaving his bowl on the table uncleaned by the way) and walking in the direction of the stairs.
"Ah well, he's upstairs right now so I might as well go introduce myself." Derek said with a smirk, suddenly stopping at the base of the stairs. "You're not one of those fairies right? Like, I'm not gonna go upstairs and find this guy sitting on the bed asking for a three-way? Cause... I wouldn't exactly say no, but only if you're the bottom."
Johan's face went completely red a mix of anger and embarrassment easily visible on his features. "Wha- the fuck did you just-" He stumbled, over his words but Derek simply laughed him off and walked up stairs.
Johan quickly swallowed his (very very tiny) pride and rushed to follow after Derek.
"I really don't think my friend wants to see you. Ya know, he's very timid and I don't think he wants to meet such a cool uhh..." What was the word? Jack ass? Douche bag? Self absorbed man-child?
"Celebrity!" Johan finished as they arrived in front of the bedroom door, Johan stepping between it and Derek.
Derek was silent, a glare coming to his face once again. "Are you hiding something?" He asked, his voice dead serious and his eyes once again glowing red. Johan felt his legs start to shake and his body become quickly weak under the hybrid's dark gaze.
"N-No!" Johan cried his voice extremely squeaky.
"Then step aside." Derek said. Johan lowered his head with a sigh and stepped out of the way.
Derek stepped forwards and slammed open the door to the bedroom and found... nothing there. Just the furniture and and open window. The Hybrid raised an eyebrow and walked forwards, sticking his head out the window and looking around. There was nothing there.
The hybrid alicorn shrugged and stepped back. "Hmm. Guess he flew away or something. You're right, he must really be shy." Derek turned and started walking towards the kitchen. "Imma get myself another bowl of spaghetti if that's alright."
"B-but then what will I have to eat?" Johan asked turning to stare at Derek, slowly walking backwards towards the window.
"You can always make yourself more right bud?"
Johan simply sighed before sticking his head out the window, Platinum really was gone. A wave of sadness quickly came over him. Maybe Platinum saw Derek and decided to run as far away as he could, abandoning him. Deciding his work there was done and that he would leave the deer to his fate.
"Hey, Johan." The deer quickly looked up, seeing Platinum staring down at him. He was standing on the roof!
"Oh thank god, I thought you left me." Johan said softly a small smile coming to his face.
Platinum chuckled. "Sorry, but you're stuck with me." He said with a deep grin.
Johan couldn't help but let his smile grow wider.
"Now then, I'll come back in when Derek leaves, until then, I'm going to go hide in the backyard." The unicorn suddenly fell forwards off the roof, causing the deer to squeak in alarm, but Platinum merely did a front flip in the air and landed on his hooves before very quickly making his way towards the back.
Johan sighed and shook his head as he quickly turned around and dashed towards the kitchen.
"Thanks for the food man. I was getting pretty hungry." Derek said with a smile as he stood up after his fourth bowl of pasta.
Johan groaned as he took his bowl for him and put it in the kitchen sink, quickly noticing that he was now completely out of both spaghetti and alfredo sauce. "Glad you enjoyed it I guess."
"Heck yeah I did. It was almost as good as my personal chef's alfredo." Derek said as he started walking towards the exit.
"Then maybe you should have me over to your house for once. Let me have some of your food to make up for this." Johan growled to the hybrid.
"Sure, but uhh, just letting you know my schedule is pretty booked for the next couple months." Derek said with a smile as he opened the door and stepped out of the house.
"Ok I guess..." Johan sighed as he followed Derek out the door.
"Good night man. See you next time I come over for a visit. Maybe you'll have the door unlocked for me this time right?" Derek laughed. Johan didn't.
"Night." Johan said before slamming the door. The deer breathed a sigh of relief.
"Finally he's gone!" He cried in pain as he started to walk away from the door. "Everyday he get's worse and wor-"
He was cut off by a sudden pain. A searing, burning pain. It felt as through his skull was starting to implode, squeezing down on his brain. It was the worst headache he had ever felt in his life, and it seemed to start at the base of his antlers before creeping slowly downwards to every inch of his skull.
He stumbled a couple times, not noticing one of the windows open and Platinum Shine hop in.
"Sheesh, I thought he'd never leave." he said as he walked in the direction of Johan, quickly noticing the deer's stumbling and swaying.
"Johan? What's wrong?" Platinum asked as he slowly approached him.
Johan didn't notice him. He brought a hoof to his head and groaned. He stared up at Platinum, trying to take a step towards him, but quickly lost his balance and toppled to the floor.
The unicorn rushed forwards, catching him just before he hit the ground. "Johan?!? What's wrong?!? Johan?!?" Was all he heard before everything suddenly went black.
Spike walked along the path leading up to Johan's new house, a piece of paper nervously held in his hand. He had coughed it up earlier while reading a comic with earplugs in while Twilight gushed about the date she had with Derek the other day for like, the thirteenth time.
It had a very simple message written on it in hand/hoof/horn writing he didn't recognize;
Dear Purple Dragon,
Please come to Johan's house as quickly as you can. It's really really important.
From: Johan's roommate
P.S please please please please please don't freak out when you get here.
Spike didn't know who this roommate was, but hey, if this guys was friends with Johan, he was friends with him.
Spike crossed a small hilly incline coming to a stop in the front yard of a brand new house. Instead of a small stone shack, there was a nice cyan brick house complete with two floors, a front porch and a nice tiled roof.
Initially Spike thought he was in the wrong place, but the fact that it was right next to the many times larger house of Derek kinda sealed the deal to him. This sure was Johan's house alright. He must have made some huge improvements lately!
Maybe Johan's roommate was inviting him to see the new house! That made sense, though it didn't really explain why he asked him not to freak out...
Spike simply shrugged and walked up to the front door, giving it a couple knocks.
"Come in!" A voice he didn't recognize said.
Spike did exactly that, opening the door and stepping into the room.
"Hey Johan! I like the new house! How'd you get it up so quick...ly...." Spike started but trailed off at what he saw.
Johan was lying on the ground on his back, completely still, sweat pouring from his brow, his body shaking. Sitting on the opposite side of Johan was a white unicorn with cyan hair, two piercing platinum colored eyes, and a suit of platinum armor.
Spike's entire face went white and he let out a deep gasp stepping back.
"I swear to Celestia this is not what it looks like." Platinum Shine said, his hooves in the air in an attempt at a calming gesture.
The unicorn knew it didn't work when Spike reared back and let out a blood curdling scream.
"Murderer! Psychopath! Deer Poacher!" Spike screamed falling onto his back pointing at him. "Help! Help! Help!!!!"
The Unicorn replied by visibly cringing and lighting up his horn, slamming the door closed and casting a sound proofing spell on the room.
"Can you just please calm down? I am Johan's friend!" Platinum cried. Spike replied by shrieking again, clawing at the door.
"How am I supposed to believe that? You're an actual bonafide super villain!" Spike screeched. "And now you want to kill me too!"
"Ex-vigilante Extremist!" Platinum corrected him. He stood up and pointed at the now discarded letter the dragon had previously been holding.
"Look! I'm the one who sent the letter! I need your help taking care of Johan!" Platinum cried out, panic gripping his voice. "I only called out to you because apparently you are the only person in this god awful town who likes him more than Derek!"
That made Spike pause. His face suddenly scrunched up and he turned around to look at Platinum, back to the door. "Hmph... What is Johan's favorite food?"
"His favorite dinner food is Mac and Cheese, because it is the only thing he can usually make, but if you're talking his favorite food of all time, it's a Blue Raspberry Popsicle." Platinum said quickly in response.
"Oh sweet Celestia you really are his friend." Spike said putting a claw to his forehead and sliding down the door to the ground. "I need a second to process this."
There was a pause.
"Ok second over. Now get over here and help me help Johan please!" Platinum said gesturing to the still unconscious sweating deer.
Spike stood up and rushed to Johan's side. "Did you take his temperature or something?" Spike asked, putting a hand to Johan's forehead.
"I did, 101.2 degrees Fahrenheit, or 38.4 in silly foreign degrees. He has a fever." Platinum said sitting next to Spike staring at the deer.
"Have you tried CPR?"
"That was the first thing I did." Platinum replied
"Mouth to mouth?"
A sudden blush came to Platinum's face. "That was the second thing I tried." He said, his voice much quieter than usual.
"Have you though about taking him to a hospital?" Spike asked looking up at him a slight frown on his face.
"Of course I did, but look at me! I am a former villain. No way am I going to be able to get anywhere close to a hospital. That's why I called you!" Platinum cried. He was very close to biting his hooves in panic.
Spike paused for a couple seconds before a sudden, dark smile came to his face.
"I think I have an idea to fix that." He darkly snickered.
"Oh? What's that?" Platinum replied with a raise eyebrow. He barely had time to react when he was blasted in the face by green fire.
The door to Johan's house slammed open, Spike quickly rushing out followed by Platinum, Johan slung over the unicorn's back.
The unicorn was wearing a dark grey hood-less cloak instead of his usual armor, which had been set aside because he really didn't want to be recognized wearing it. The fur on his head was singed black, and his previously cleanly combed and styled mane was now messy, unkempt, and slightly smoking. A deep frown on his face.
"Did you really have to blast me in the face?" Platinum growled darkly, one of his eyes twitching.
"Yeah!" Spike said as he closed the door behind Platinum and began leading him in the direction of Ponyville hospital. "All everyone knows about Platinum Shine is that he is a white unicorn with a cyan mane. That and the armor. No one will think the black unicorn with a black mane is the renowned super powerful 'Ex'-villain Platinum Shine! Isn't that right... Sooty?"
Spike poked Platinum in the ribs with his elbow a couple times, winking and he did it.
"Is Sooty my disguise name?" Platinum asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes." Spike replied almost instantly.
There was a pause as the two walked in silence.
"I fucking hate dragons." 'Sooty' said.
Johan groaned as he slowly opened his eyes. He was laying in a bed of some kind, though the sheets were terribly uncomfortable. Like they were made of plastic. He tried sitting up, but found that doing so only made the headache worse, causing him the cry out in pain and collapse back into the bed.
"Hey hey hey! You're okay. Just relax." He heard Platinum say to his right, but when Johan turned his eyes to the origin of the voice, all he saw was a black unicorn.
"A-Am I dreaming?" Johan asked groggily. The black unicorn shook his head in response.
Johan heard a door open, and quickly snapped his eyes in that direction to see Dr. Nurse Redheart enter the room... Or was it Nurse Nurse Redheart? He didn't really know. Pony job title and name relations were weird.
"What's wrong with him Redheart?" Johan heard spike asked. That certainly didn't clear anything up. In fact it just lead to more questions. What the heck was Spike doing there?
"Well... uhhh... To be honest I have never actually operated on a deer before, but based on what I have read about them the answer is kinda obvious." Redheart walked up Johan and put a hoof on one of his antlers. The second she did it a massive wave of pain shot through his head causing him to cry out once again.
"He is supposed to be shedding." Redheart said with a frown.
"Like... shedding scales?" Spike asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Nope. He is supposed to lose his antlers, but they aren't coming off. I ran an ex-ray, and it seems like they are being held in place and in so doing they have not only been pulling on his skull leading to the massive headaches he is feeling, it also seems like bacteria managed to seep in and have infected the area." Redheart explained before grabbing onto his right antler. Johan couldn't help but cry out in pain again.
"To put it bluntly, we have to get these off of him a.s.a.p. Then we can start applying antibiotics until he is fully healed and cured." Redheart turned to the black unicorn in the room. "Do you know any spells that can numb or remove the pain?"
"I... only know what that can make it feel less bad, that's all." The black unicorn said, a grimace coming to his face. "S-sorry but is there another way we can do this?"
"I'm afraid not." Redheart said, a deathly tone coming to her voice. "We cannot afford to preform a surgery on him."
"Why not?" The unicorn said casting the spell and holding the deer down.
"He doesn't have insurance." Redheart said, the same deathly tone in her voice.
"W-wait a minute! Derek said I as a co-dependent on hi-" Johan cried, but he was cut off when Redheart tugged on the antler with all her might. First there was a sickening crack that made Spike and the unicorn's faces turn green, then a loud pop as the first antler came out.
Redheart didn't give Johan time to complain before she grabbed the other one and repeated the process, tugging at the antler and ripping it out too.
The earth pony gave a sigh of relief and stepped back and observed her handy work.
"Owie owie owie owie!" Johan cried, kicking his back legs and holding onto the two new holes on the top of his head. There was no blood or anything, which was good, but the pain was still certainly there.
"Would you like to keep these by any chance? Cause if not I think I'm going to hang them over my fireplace." She asked the black unicorn, who scowled at her and ripped them out of her hooves.
"I'll take this you wack job!" He hissed, before handing them to Spike, who looked like he had just seen a ghost.
"I... is that what sex is like?" the dragon asked underneath his breath.
"Now then, Johan is going to be weaker than ever for the next two weeks, so you will need to keep a close eye on him and give him antibiotics twice a day. Make sure no one tries to kidnap him or anything too. Ya know how it is these days. Villains always swooping in and stealing away the innocent or something." She said as she wrote something on a note.
The black unicorn cleared his throat and tugged at the collar of his cloak.
"Now then, have a nice day!" She said with a smile, handing the note she had written to Spike, who weakly nodded in appreciation.
"Come on Johan, let's get you home. Sorry about this. They'll grow back right?" The unicorn said slinging Johan over his back, who was still holding his head and repeating 'owie' over and over again. "They'll probably grow back right?"
The unicorn leaned over and whispered into Redheart's ear. "Antler's grow back right?"
"Oh yeah. In fact, Equestrian deer grow their antlers back incredibly quickly. Give him two months and he'll have another rack ready to take some people's coats." Redheart said with a nod.
"I'm going to ignore the fact that you just called my friend a coat-rack. In fact, except for the medicine part, you'd better hope I forget everything that happened today." The unicorn growled before he started walking out of the room, shepherding Spike in front of him.
As soon as they were out of the site and earshot, Redheart chuckled darkly, her coat turning black and her mane turning purple. Void shook her head with a content sigh, removing the nurse hat she had pilfered and tossing it uselessly aside. An oily black tentacle emerged from her back, swishing in the air in front of her in a circular movement.
"I did it," she said staring down at a shadowy magical reality window which she had formed in front of her, a helmeted Earth Pony on the other side. "Johan is as weak as a baby now. He won't be able to put up any Resistance when we arrive to capture him."
Epoxy chuckled. "Excellent. The plan marches forwards it seems. It is high time for two unstoppable forces to meet."
Epoxy started to slowly chuckle, before it turned to a guffaw. Before long, the scientist threw his head back in mad laughter. It was only a matter of time now until the secrets of humanity was his.
Chapter 12: Sickness and Anime Battles Totally Suck
Johan retched as he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl he was hugging. He felt a couple firm pats on his back. Platinum was with him, making sure he was alright.
"Oh god! Make it stop! Make it st-" he was interrupted by another rush of bile evacuating his stomach into the toilet bowl.
"You're ok Johan. You're ok." Platinum said quietly continuing his reassuring backpats.
"Oh god!" Johan cried as he pulled himself back. "This is agony!"
"I know I know. You're ok though, I assure you. Everything's gonna be fine." Platinum said in his most calm and collected voice.
"What if I have chronic wasting disease man!?!" Johan bemoaned, curling into a ball and slowly rocking back and forth.
"Chronic wasting disease?" Platinum asked with a raised eyebrow. "The heck is that?"
"It's a thing deer got back at my home world... or however I am supposed to say it..." Johan said bringing a hoof to his chin. "You know the more I think of it, the more I realize that I am technically an alien..."
"Yeah... that's something I forget a lot, not gonna lie." Platinum said rubbing the back of his head.
Johan shook his head. "Anyway, chronic wasting disease (CWD) is a contagious disease that affects cervine. It's really freaking nasty man. Like, it's called the Zombie deer disease back home. It like... makes them loose a bunch of weight, and mental ability and then kills them." He said visibly growing more and more uncomfortable.
"Well uhhh, it does like you have been losing weight recently..." Platinum said, a concerned frown coming to his face.
"Oh Christ really?!?" Johan screamed, panic filling his eyes as he sat up feeling himself up. Platinum was right. He could feel his ribs! "Oh no! Oh no! I'm gonna die! I'm totally gonna-"
He was cut off when he once again was forced to drag himself to the toilet bowl and empty the contents of his stomach.
"Or you have just lost weight because you can't keep any food down properly. That could be the case." Platinum said with a slight chuckle.
"Yeah... probably..." Johan groaned, his face a rather gross shade of green.
Platinum opened his mouth, but he was interrupted by a knock at the front door from down stairs. They both turned in the direction of the stairs.
"Who is i-?!?" Johan cried down, but was once again interrupted by his stomach needing to empty itself. Platinum patted on the back while he retched.
"Don't worry bud, I got this. It's probably just Spike with the medicine or whatever. " Platinum said standing up with a huff and headed towards the door downstairs.
The knocking didn't stop, which he noted, was a bit too rude for Spike. He usually only knocked once when he visited, which he had done in his past couple check ups on the sick Johan.
Eventually when he reached the foot of the stairs and approached the door, he noticed the door handle grown a deep red.
"Oh fuck..." He said under his breath.
The door unlocked and swung open rapidly, as he stepped inside.
"Hey Johan!" Derek shouted with a smile on his face. "I heard from the grape vine that you were sick so me and the elements of harmony decided to pay you a vis..." He trailed off when he saw Platinum.
Platinum heard six gasps, and what sounded like someone feinting. Through the door, he saw Derek and the Elements of Harmony, the white one with the purple hair having fell over unconscious.
"Uhm... Lovely weather we are having isn't it?" Platinum said, his face whiter than normal. He let out an uncomfortable chuckle, which was cut short when, in a burst of incomprehensible speed that left even Rainbow Dash scratching her head, (Because Derek is just that fast) Platinum felt a fist connect with the side of his face.
He was sent flying backwards, slamming into the fridge in the kitchen. He kept flying, taking the now broken fridge with him, as they both sailed through the microcline brick wall, which shattered with a deafening crack. The fridge hit the ground first, before Platinum landed on top of it, crashing through the already broken door and coming to a stop inside of it, his hooves hanging outside of it like he was in a bathtub.
"Where's Johan?!?" Derek roared in genuine rage as he approached the hole in the wall he had made with Platinum's body. Red lightning shot out of his horn and eyes, as a crimson field of energy surrounded him.
"He's... upstairs in the... bathroom." Platinum said between coughs as he struggled to get out to the fridge, collapsing onto the ground besides it. He held his chest as he tried to catch his breath, blood pouring from dozens of cuts on his back, and a massive gash on his cheek. He regretted not wearing his armor today.
"Twilight! Go upstairs and unfreeze my friend! This bastard probably turned him into another platinum statue!" Derek said, approaching the stunned and injured unicorn.
"Right!" Twilight cried out to him from the now wrecked living room. "Let's go girls!"
The purple unicorn and her friends quickly rushed upstairs leaving Derek and Platinum alone. Platinum barely had time to look up as Derek approached him before the hybrid grabbed him roughly by the hair and painfully lifted him into the air.
"This is what you get for hurting my friend!" Derek roared as he raised a fist into the air, ready to punch the unicorn in the face.
And with that, something snapped inside of Platinum. His vision went completely red and he let out a shrieking roar of rage, his horn glowing, and an extremely bright white light filled the space around them. Instinctively, Derek brought his fist down towards his opponent's cheek.
He was met with a crunch, and the feeling as if he had just punched solid metal. The hybrid cried out in agony as he let go of the unicorns hair and stumbled back, holding his hurt claw. He turned back to the unicorn just as the light lessened. Platinum stood there panting with rage, his entire body seemingly turned into solid platinum.
Derek took a step back just as the Unicorn charged him, delivering a powerful uppercut to his chin, causing him to sail away through the air . He was caught by platinum white magic a mere inch from the ground, before being thrown through the air over Platinum and slamming into the ground on the opposite side of the unicorn as the house.
"Friend? Don't you dare give me that bullshit!!!!" Platinum roared, his voice taking on a deep, intimidating, metallic tone. Derek felt the metallic unicorn let go of him allowing him to raise his head just in time to be blasted directly in the face by a massive beam of pure white magic.
Platinum kept the beam going as he slowly marched towards the hybrid bastard, his hooves digging deeply into the ground as the recoil of his spell kept trying to push him back. His face was contorted into pure absolute anger.
He only stopped firing when his horn hurt and his legs felt like they were about to give out. He panted as he stared at the damage he had done, a shallow trench stretched out in front of him, alongside burning shrubbery and charred rubble, but no Derek to be seen.
A small smile came to his metallic face, but it was instantly shattered when Derek suddenly teleported in front of him with a flash, and it didn't look like Platinum had even hurt him. A grin slowly formed on Derek's face as his horn glowed a deathly red.
