Ch 4 - The Choosing - Stepping Onto the Road
Sunset grunted with effort as she pulled her cart towards Sweet Apple Acres, the sound of wooden wheels crunching on the dirt road mixed with the rattle of the cart created a cacophony in her ears. It was early-afternoon, and she was making the last of her deliveries for Bronze.
A month had gone by since the disastrous episode in the spell forge. A month after she’d discovered the way she could attend the phoenix-rite.
Tender Heart had been true to her word, and had helped Sunset fill out the application, then had gone with her to submit the form at the post office. Sunset had been on pins and needles the entire time, but had relaxed once she’d handed the form over to the postmistress. Much to her relief, the crown was covering the cost of postage for the applications, meaning she got to save the radiants it normally would have cost her to mail something to the capital.
Now was the hard part: waiting.
Sunset had been anxious for the first few days after sending the application in, hovering near the door waiting for the mail to be delivered. But, as the days went on, she slowly realized that she was being silly: it was still Almitas. The candidates wouldn’t be chosen until Praecipio, which was still a couple weeks off. So, she’d slipped back into her daily routine, but with renewed focus and determination.
She’d spent the time since sending in the application redoubling her focus on Bronze’s lessons: metallurgy, meditation exercises, rune-craft and dance practice. Bronze had been elated to see Sunset back to her old, focused self, while Sunset was glad to be back. But, beyond her restored good mood and desire to learn under Bronze, she had an ulterior motive for her renewed focus. She knew that she’d potentially need every radiant that Bronze paid her if she was picked for the phoenix-rite, so she’d done everything she could to not give the forgemaster any reason to dock her pay.
So she’d knuckled down hard, and made sure to not screw up.
She’d been attentive and focused when at the anvil, making sure to pay extra attention when working any orders Bronze gave her.
She’d been studious and careful when carving her practice runes, even going so far as to borrow the books with Bronze’s permission. With her now obsidian sharp focus, she found herself rapidly advancing in her inscriptions, moving from first to second tier runes, and had begun pushing into the third tier. She still had trouble with the latter.
She’d diligently followed Bronze’s instructions when he was teaching her the meditation techniques to help her keep her emotions in check when spell dancing. She’d impressed him enough with her efforts that he’d begun to intersperse actual spell dance practice back into her lessons. They began with simple, basic dances, Bronze watching for any signs of emotional flare ups and loss of focus. Thankfully for Sunset, both the meditation, and her newfound determination helped keep her from having a major flare up like she’d had before. Aside from a few minor hiccups in the beginning, Bronze had been impressed by her progress, and was gearing up to start having her practice the longer tempering dances once she could cast shorter spells without issue. He’d even had her do temporary empowerments of some of her rune carvings.
Of course, he knew the source of her determination, and, much like Tender Heart, had fretted over his apprentice’s decision to try attending the phoenix-rite. Sunset had accepted that they were just worried about her with some grumbling, but was resolute. And, she had sworn to him that if she wasn’t chosen, she’d let it go and move on. She wasn’t expecting it to be easy, but she was determined to keep her word.
And so, nearing the end of another day, she found herself walking through town, bringing a wagon of new tools to Sweet Apple Acres. She was about half way there when she’d run into Rainbow Dash. Once Rainbow had spotted her, she’d decided to accompany Sunset on her delivery. Sunset was grateful for the company, especially since she’d been so focused on work she hadn’t really been spending much time with her oath-sisters.
“So, how are things going with Bronze?” Rainbow said as she hovered above Sunset.
“They’re going alright.” Sunset said, “Bronze’s starting to ease me back into forging dances again after my little… incident.”
“I still can’t believe you almost blew yourself up.” Rainbow said with a snicker, though not a mean-spirited one. All three of her oath-sisters had freaked when they learned about the incident, but it had shifted to gentle ribbing over the last month. Sunset took it with some grumbling, but knew it was just good natured teasing, and that they would knock it off if she told them to. That didn’t mean she’d let them off the hook if they screwed up and gave her some ammunition to return the favor.
“Yea, yea, yea. Laugh it up, hover-girl.” Sunset retorted with a smirk.
“I’m just glad you’re back to Sunset, and not being ‘Mopey McMopePants’ anymore.” Rainbow said as she flew around to Sunset’s front, hovering above her and looking down with a smug grin.
“Dash, are you trying to muscle in on Pinkie’s gig? Because that was a pretty Pinkie thing to say.” Sunset said as she regarded her oath-sister.
Off in the distance, both girls could have sworn they heard a shout of “Yes, it was!”
“Whatever. So, are we going to get a chance to see you anytime. You’ve kinda been absent for the last few weeks.” Rainbow said as she floated back behind Sunset and began to follow her again.
“C’mon Rainbow, you know why.” Sunset retorted with a pout. “I’ve gotta save up in case I get picked for the rite. I’ve asked about caravans to the capital, and they’re not cheap. At all. So, I’ve gotta make as much as I can. And the harder I work, the more I make. It's simple.”
“Ugh. That sounds like such a drag.” Rainbow groused. “Not to mention the last three times I came by your place, you had your face in a book. You turning into an egghead on me?”
“Hey, I like learning,” Sunset retorted, “andI like working the anvil and making stuff. Sure, it’s tough, but I like the challenge. Especially spell dancing. I didn’t get the last one Bronze had me doing right, but it didn’t blow up in my face this time.” Before muttering. “Just… caused the shovel blade I was practicing on to shatter.”
“Sorry, what was that last part?” Rainbow said with a smirk.
“Nothing…” Sunset said hastily, “Nothing at all… Point is, me having my face in a book means that I get to do cool stuff at the forge. Heh, maybe one day I’ll even be good enough to make amps.”
“Whoa, let's not get ahead of ourselves here Sunset.” Rainbow said with a laugh, “You have to have a royal’s permission to own one of those things, let alone learn to make one. Let’s settle for not blowing yourself up first.”
“Killjoy.” Sunset said as she stuck her tongue out at Rainbow.
“Just keeping your expectations real Sun-butt.” Rainbow teased.
“This from the girl who thinks she’s going to join the Prominence Knights some day.” Sunset retorted with a smirk.
“Oh ha ha Shimmer. Really funny.” Rainbow said, before she descended from the air and landed by Sunset. Walking alongside the redhead, she leaned over slightly and brought her right hand up to her chin, rubbing it while inspecting her oath-sister, before poking her arm, feeling the muscles below Sunset’s sleeve.
“Well, if anything, you’re getting buff like Bronze.” Rainbow snickered, “I mean, sure, you’ll never match AJ or Pinkie’s strength, but you might eventually get to half their level if you really try.”
Sunset gave Rainbow a sidelong glare.
“Do you want a hug Dash?” Sunset deadpanned. “Because I’d be happy to give you one so you can properly compare.”
Rainbow laughed as she spread her wings and took back to the air, putting herself outside of Sunset’s grasp.
“Nah, I’m good.” Rainbow said from the safety of the sky.
“That’s what I thought.” Sunset replied with a sly smirk. “Anyway, how’ve you been? Things going well with Windstorm’s crew?”
“Oh girl, you have no idea.” Rainbow said with a sigh. “I thought ranger work would be fun and exciting, but the training is just so darn boring. All I’m doing these days is reading manuals on how to set up camps, read and make maps, do field medicine. Ugh, it’s dull. I wanted to be out there fighting monsters and exploring ruins like Daring Do, not listening to Windstorm go on and on about the five different ways you set someone’s arm with an improvised splint.”
“So, what you’re saying is that you’ve been sitting around, reading books, and learning?” Sunset said with a giant smirk. “Is that what I heard?”
To Sunset’s satisfaction, a horrified look of realization spread across Rainbow’s face, and she fixed her oath-sister with an irritated glare.
“Smartalec.” Rainbow deadpanned.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about… egghead.” Sunset teased with a snicker.
“You’re a real pain in the butt, you know that?” Rainbow retorted.
“If you say so… nerd.” Sunset said with a victorious smile.
“Whatever…” Rainbow grunted with a chuckle. “Takes one to know one.”
Soon, the two of them arrived at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres. Pushing the gate open, Sunset made her way onto the property, with Rainbow landing to walk with her the rest of the way. By now, many of the early blooming trees were done, and had begun to leaf out, while the mid-season varieties were getting started, creating a mosaic of green and white across the orchard as the two walked along the dirt road to the main house.
As they approached, they spotted both Applejack and her older brother Big Macintosh out in the yard. Mac was moving hay bales to the barn, his blond hair, red skin and heavy work clothes damp with sweat, while AJ, also in her work clothes, was occupied in the vegetable garden, hoeing weeds.
“Yo! AJ! Mac!” Sunset called, causing the siblings to look up from their work. “Got a delivery from Bronze for ya!”
“Hey Sunset! Rainbow!” Applejack called, setting the hoe down and walking over to her friends. Mac simply glanced at the two arrivals, gave a short, simple nod, and went back to his task. Sunset didn’t mind. For Mac, that was as good as a welcome as she could expect from the quiet, older boy.
Reaching her friends, Applejack pulled each into a quick hug, before looking at the cart Sunset was pulling.
“So, what’cha got fer us?” Applejack asked.
“Couple of shovel heads, pair of branch loppers, two bags of nails, three hammer heads, one scythe blade, and a rake.” Sunset listed off, pulling a pair of receipts from the cart. “Just need Granny Smith to sign that you got them, and we’re good to go.”
“Ah think she’s in tha kitchen workin’ on some hand pies for tomorrow’s market. Why don’t yah come in an’ we can get everythin’ squared.” Applejack said as she turned to head to the main house. “Ah’ll bet she’s got ah few that she’d be willin’ tah part with.”
“Hey, I won’t say no to that.” Rainbow said cheerfully.
“Of course you wouldn’t Dash.” Sunset snickered. “You’re a bottomless pit.”
“Hey, flying works up an appetite.” Rainbow said, elbowing Sunset’s arm. “Like you have any place to talk, Ms. ‘I can eat as much as Rainbow Dash.’”
Sunset simply responded by sticking her tongue out at Rainbow, who smirked back at her red-headed friend.
“So, Sunset, have yah heard back from tha capital about tha phoenix-rite yet?” Applejack asked, trying to head off the scrap between the other two girls.
“No, not yet.” Sunset said evenly. “But… they said that they’d let us know before Praecipio was over. And there’s still two weeks left before that, so I’m not worried.”
“Are yah sure about that Sunset?” Applejack asked as they neared the house. “Ah don’t want tah see yah bein’ disappointed an’ sad like yah were after what happened at tha test.”
Sunset sighed as she regarded Applejack. AJ wasn’t exactly wrong.
“…this and that are different AJ.” Sunset finally said. “I know this is a gamble, and I’ve accepted that I might not go.”
“But how’s that any different from the test?” Rainbow asked. “Seems like it’s the same thing.”
“This time I’m not going to be run out in tears.” Sunset said with a growl. “This is Raven Inkwell we’re talking about. She’s Celestia’s right hand woman, and I’m pretty sure that anyone who’s worked for the Queen as long as she has wouldn’t get away with being a jerk.”
“If yah say so Sunset.” Applejack said as they walked up the front steps of the house. Leaving the cart behind, Sunset and Rainbow climbed the stairs and followed Applejack inside, the delightful smell of cooking apples assaulting their senses as they pulled the door closed.
“Appajac! Appajac!” The three girls heard come from the living room. Moments later, a young girl with deep red hair and yellow skin ran out and hugged Applejacks’ legs, followed closely by a small, brown border collie pup clumsily scampering up to the girls. Smiling, Applejack reached down and hoisted the younger girl into her arms, while Rainbow did the same for the puppy, which squirmed happily in her grasp, trying to reach her face with her tongue.
“Hey Bloom. Yah been a good girl fer’ Granny?” Applejack said as she held her sister.
“Yah! Ah’ was good for gwanny.” She said with a giant, gap-toothed smile.
“Glad tah hear it.”
“Hey Applebloom.” “Sup Bloom’?”
“Hai Swunset. Hai Wainbow.” Applebloom said to the other girls with a clumsy wave.
“Say, Bloom. Where’s Granny? Ah’ need her fer a minute.” Applejack said as she set her sister on the ground.
“Stiwl in tha kitchwen.” Applebloom said as she clumsily pointed to the door leading to the room in question.
“Well, alright. Thank yah Bloom.” Applejack said as she took her sister’s hand. “Yah want tah get them papers signed and see if yah can get yerselves some grub?”
Both of her guests’ faces lit up as they nodded. After Rainbow put the puppy back down, both her and Sunset followed AJ into the kitchen.
*****
An hour later, Sunset was walking back towards home, pulling the now empty cart. She’d gotten Granny’s signature after AJ confirmed everything had been delivered, and, as a bonus, got stuffed with Granny Smith’s amazing apple pie. Rainbow had flown off not long after she finished with her share, saying that she had chores back home. Sunset, on the other hand, had lingered a little while longer to help Applejack with the rest of her chores, and spend some time playing with her and her new puppy, Winona, once they were done.
But, eventually, Sunset knew that she had to head home. With a warm hug for Applejack and a wave to the rest of the family, Sunset collected the cart and left.
Now on her own, she began to prepare herself for arriving home, and being faced yet again with disappointment. Because as brave of a face as she’d put on for her oath-sisters, she was anxious. She’d started putting together a plan for how she would cover the cost of her trip to Heliopolis if she got one of the slots. But that was only half of it. There were other costs that she’d need to account for besides paying for transport to the capital. The biggest was getting some new, less worn clothes, since even her best were not very good quality, and she suspected that she’d need to look nice.
And that would cost money. Money that she was desperately scraping and saving to have ready in case things went her way. She still gave Tender Heart a portion of her earnings to help keep the orphanage running, but all of her extra spending money? Money that she’d normally use to have fun with her oath-sisters and other friends? Going into a sack she’d locked in her personal trunk.
It was a sacrifice she was willing to make.
No matter how lonely it left her.
*****
Sunset soon arrived at the front gate of the Golden Tree orphanage. Pulling it open, she brought the cart into the yard and closed the gate, wheeling it off the path and to the side of the grand old house, leaving it under an overhang. She’d return it to Bronze in the morning.
Making her way around the back, she pulled open the rear entrance and made her way through the kitchen. It was still early enough in the afternoon that Tender Heart wouldn’t be preparing dinner yet, so Sunset made her way deeper into the house to find her.
After a few minutes of searching and asking the other kids if they’d seen Tender Heart, she found the matron in the living room, reading to some of the younger children. Sunset sauntered up and took a seat near the others as Tender Heart read them the story of the sky-runner twins Lady Steel Heart and Lord Steel Will, and their final battle with the fjaeldmark linnorm of Black Crag Pass.
Sunset smiled a little as she watched the youngsters’ eyes light up as Tender Heart finished the story, telling them how the twins had bested the beast, freeing the people in the valley below from its terror. Of course, she knew that Tender Heart was telling the children was a softened version of the story. Her own book of legends told the full, original version, and in that one, the Steel twins had succumbed to the wounds they suffered in the fight, given their lives to defeat the beast. The act had ended the linnorm’s threat, and the twins had died heros, their sacrifice saving the people of Black Crag Pass and ensuring that their names would live forever in Solarian legend.
As Tender Heart finished the story, the youngsters broke into clumsy applause as she closed the book and rose to her feet. Seeing Sunset sitting nearby, Tender Heart’s smile ticked down just a little.
“Alright everyone.” The matron said, “I’m afraid storytime is over.”
A chorus of “aww”s filled the air as the youngsters groaned in disappointment.
“I know. I know. Why don’t you find Flitter and Lilac Dust and see if they want to play outside?” Tender Heart said, gesturing to the door. A minute later, a dozen little bodies made their way out of the room to find the older girls, leaving Sunset and Tender Heart alone.
“Anything?” Sunset said as she approached the matron, a hopeful look on her face.
Tender Heart sadly closed her eyes and shook her head. Sunset deflated, her shoulders slumping and her head lolling forward, a few loose strands of her hair falling in front of her face.
“I’m sorry Sunset.” Tender Heart said as she put a hand on Sunset’s shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze.
“It’s okay.” Sunset muttered. “Maybe I should just stop getting my hopes up.”
“Don’t say that Sunset.” Tender Heart said, trying to sound encouraging “There’s still time.”
“I really wonder about that.” Sunset said with a sigh. “Anyhow, do you have enough helpers for making dinner tonight? I can lend a hand if you want.”
“Thank you, dear, but Lyra and Lilac are helping tonight, so I’ve got all the hands I need.” Tender Heart said, “Why don’t you take the afternoon off and relax. You’ve been working yourself to the bone lately, and you need to rest.”
“I…Okay.” Sunset said morosely as she trudged out of the room.
*****
The rest of the afternoon moved along at a snail’s pace. After her conversation with Tender Heart, she’d needed to do something physical to get her mind off things. As luck would have it, she ran into Lyra heading to the common bathroom to give it a cleaning. Jumping on the opportunity, Sunset joined her bunkmate in her task: scrubbing out the washbasins and mopping the floors. Once they’d finished, Sunset claimed one of the tubs and filled it with water, heating it with a simple warming charm. Compared to the dances she’d been doing with Bronze in the last few weeks, the spell she just cast was almost embarrassingly easy.
One warm bath later, and Sunset was much more relaxed. Drying herself off, she wrapped her hair and her body in towels, and headed to the bunk. Slipping into her pajamas, Sunset grabbed one of her spell-dancing manuals and headed to the second floor study room to read.
Upon entering the room, Sunset walked past the half dozen small desks and wall mounted bookshelves to reach her favorite reading spot: a cushion covered bench inset into the large picture window overlooking the front yard. Setting down her book and hopping up onto the cushion, Sunset reclined against a large pillow and opened the book to where she’d left off the evening before: the section on casting spell-dances fueled by cold emotions. Finding the section she’d been studying, she picked up where she’d left off.
“Spell dances using cold emotions and feelings, such as sorrow, fear, apathy, calm or peace, require slow, precise movements to properly channel one’s inner flame. Unlike spells that call on hot emotions, cold emotion based spells are much more meticulous, and emphasize deliberate, sharp starts and stops, particularly of the hands, arms and legs. Furthermore…
Sunset soon found herself lost in her reading as she considered what she was learning. Most forging dances she’d been practicing fed on hot or balanced emotions, not cold ones. It seemed like a waste to omit an entire aspect of the emotional spectrum, and she wondered about the application of cold emotions in forging and tempering. She made a mental note to ask Bronze about that later.
After some time, she heard the rythmic thumping of someone skipping across the study room floor towards her. Sunset didn’t bother to look up when the footfalls stopped next to her reading nook, and the floorboards started creaking as if someone were excitedly bouncing on their heels. Chancing a look out of the window, she realized that she’d probably been reading for about an hour, since she could see the sun closing in on the horizon.
“Yes Lyra?” Sunset said, finally looking at the other fire-caller.
“Are you busy right now?” Lyra asked, her cheery grin making Sunset quirk an eyebrow.
“Is that a trick question?” Sunset shot back.
“I don’t know. Is it?” Lyra chirped back.
“I suppose it depends on what you want.” Sunset deadpanned.
“Well then, I guess you’d better ask me what I want so I can tell you!” Lyra replied cheerily.
Closing her book, Sunset sighed as she pinched her brow just below her soul-gem.
“Lyra, what do you want?” Sunset replied as she turned to face the other girl.
“Well… me, Flitter, Lilac and a few of the kids were thinking of playing ‘spiral dance’, and wanted to invite you too.” Lyra said as she threw her hands wide. “C’mon Sunset, all you do lately is work or study. Come play with us. It’ll be fun.”
“Lyra, I…” Sunset began to decline the offer, but paused as she looked Lyra in the eyes. There was something there that made her reconsider. Under the chipper, energetic grin, there was worry. Worry clearly directed at her. That alone gave Sunset pause. Lyra rarely ever worried about stuff.
But, here Lyra was, worrying about her.
And, truth be told, she was right. Sunset hadn’t been letting herself have fun lately.
Looking down at the book in her hands, Sunset smiled and set it aside.
“Okay Lyra, I’ll come.” Sunset said as she rose to her feet. “Who’s playing the music?”
“Me of course!” Lyra said as she put her hands on her hips, closed her eyes, and threw out her chest with pride.
“You’re not going to use the cooking pots again, right?” Sunset asked sarcastically.
“Oh Celestia no!” Lyra almost screamed, “Not after what happened the last time.”
“Tender Heart was pretty mad, wasn’t she.”
“Yea, she was.” Lyra said with a wary smile. “My knees still ache from how long she had me scrubbing the floors.”
“Well, you did dent them pretty badly…” Sunset said as she swung her legs down off the bench and rose to her feet. “Alright, give me a minute to get changed, and I’ll meet you out by the firepit.”
Before she managed to take a step away from the window, she spotted movement out of the corner of her eyes. Turning back and looking out into the front yard, she saw someone opening the front gate.
“Hey, Lyra, look…” Sunset said as she pointed to the visitor.
Lyra ambled up to the window and looked out, following the line of Sunset’s finger.
“Never seen her around here before.” Lyra said, “Wonder what she wants?”
The woman making her way to the front gate was a sky-runner with onyx-black hair and eyes, with brick red skin and feathers. What the two girls found unusual was that aside from her slightly odd color-scheme, was that it was hard to really find anything all that distinctive about her. It was almost as if her features were so generic that she didn’t stick in their minds. Even her clothes were generic and non-descript to the point of being unmemorable.
“Think she’s here looking to adopt?” Lyra said with a little excitement.
“At this time of day?” Sunset said, “Not likely. Maybe she’s an old friend of Tender Heart’s from out of town?”
“Maybe.” Lyra said as the woman reached the front door and used the knocker to announce herself.
“Well whatever she wants, I’m sure we’ll hear about it if it’s important.” Sunset said as she got up from the window started to walk out, Lyra catching up and joining her.
*****
Sunset moved gracefully to the strumming of Lyra’s guitar, dancing in tempo with the music along with Lilac Dust and two of the younger boys. The five of them, along with Flitter and four more of the youngsters were all gathered on a large, circular, flagstone patio in the backyard of the orphanage. At the center of the patio was a large fire pit, which held a modest sized blaze.
The four dancers were currently circling around the fire pit, the girls wearing simple, slightly loose fitting white blouses and blue, calf-length, pleated skirts. Lilac was adding to the instrumental with a tambourine, while Sunset played a pair of castanets. By contrast, the younger boys were dressed in black shirts and pants, and were aiding the melody with a pair of claves each.
Lyra’s music picked up in speed, and the dancers sped up to match.
Arms moving, castanets clicking, tamborine thumping and jingling, claves clacking, skirts swirling, the dancers circled the fire, their forms highlighted by the flame in the early evening gloaming.
A warm smile was plastered across Sunset’s face as she lost herself in the music and her dance. It had been too long since she just danced without needing to call on her fire. To let her body move for no other reason than to have fun. Her smile turned wistful as she thought about her oath-sisters, and how much she wished they were here right now. The last time she’d danced with them like this was the Harvest Festival at Sweet Apple Acres.
All of their families had been there. There’d been food, music, games, and dancing round the ceremonial bonfire. Pinkie kept getting out of step with everyone in her enthusiasm. Rainbow had chafed under the slower parts of the dance. Mac playing the fiddle as AJ danced around the flame with her oath-sisters, all of them laughing with joy as they celebrated the gift of life given by the earth and Celestia’s sun.
Those were good times.
The tempo of the music began to slow, with the dancers slowing down to match, until Lyra stopped playing altogether, ending the dance.
Taking a few deep breaths, Sunset and the others bowed as their small audience broke into eager applause.
Walking to the edge of the patio, Sunset sat down on the warm stone next to Lilac Dust, the light violet skinned, sea-green eyed, purple haired earth-weaver girl smiling the easy smile of someone who was thoroughly enjoying herself.
“Alright. My turn.” Flitter said as she rose, her pale persian blue skin and wings, raspberry eyes and pale opal hair highlighted by the glow of the fire. “Who’s going to dance with me?”
Two of the younger boys, a sky-runner and earth-weaver, and one of the girls, also a earth-weaver, raised their hands and stood up.
The four new dancers approached the previous dancers, who wordlessly handed their instruments to the new quartet, who took them and headed towards the fire pit. Once they were in position, Flitter nodded to Lyra, who began to strum her guitar in a slow melody. As she began to play, the dancers began to move around the fire, playing their instruments in tune with her.
Sunset brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, leaning forward to watch the others as they danced. Looking at the horizon, Sunset saw the sun starting to reach the edge of the sky. With a sigh, she realized this was probably the last round before Tender Heart came to collect Lilac and Lyra to help make dinner. Disappointing, but she wasn’t going to let it ruin her fun.
Her mind lost in the music and the dances of her fellow orphans, Sunset barely registered the sound of the house’s back door opening, then closing, followed by the sound of two sets of feet approaching the patio.
“Sunset, could I have a minute?” Sunset heard Tender Heart say from behind, causing the young girl to jump a little.
Rising off the ground and turning to face the matron, Sunset saw the mysterious sky-runner from earlier standing next to Tender Heart.
“Um… sure.” Sunset said, eyeing the stranger warily. “What’s going on?”
Stepping forward, the mysterious woman looked down at Sunset, crossing her arms in front of her chest and tilted her head slightly to the side, her onyx black eyes boring into the young girl. There was something strange about the way the woman looked at her that made her feel exposed, almost like she was naked.
“Are you Sunset Shimmer?” The woman said after a few seconds, her voice detached and business-like.
“Yes, that’s me.” Sunset replied, looking at Tender Heart, and noticed that the matron looked almost distressed by the whole situation. “Can I help you?”
An easy, relaxed half-smile spread across the woman’s face, which for some odd reason defused a little bit of the tension Sunset was feeling.
“Not as such, young one. I just have something for you.” The woman said casually. By this point, the others had taken notice of what was going on, the music and dancing coming to a nervous halt.
With little fanfare, the woman uncrossed her arms and pulled a small envelope from a pouch on her belt, then handed it to Sunset. Tentatively taking the offered paper sleeve, Sunset inspected the front, before turning it over and gasping. There, on the back, in sun-yellow wax, was Raven Inkwell’s royal seal.
“Is this…?” Sunset began, too shocked to finish her question.
“Open it.” The woman said easily.
Nodding dumbly, Sunset cracked the wax seal, and opened the flap. Inside was a folded piece of parchment, one of better quality than any she’d ever seen in her life. Pulling the letter out, Sunset opened the paper and began to read.
To Sunset Shimmer of Golden Tree, The Western Territories,
As seneschal to the Queen, it is my pleasure to inform you that you have been selected for the honor of serving at the upcoming phoenix-rite. If you are able and still wish to perform this service to the Queen, and our nation, please inform the courier who delivered this letter that you accept this position.
As part of your duties, you will be required to undergo an intensive training session in Heliopolis during the month of Medeis to prepare you for serving at the rite. After I have received confirmation of your intent to attend, I will work with you and your caretaker to arrange your safe passage from Golden Tree to the training location in the corona of Heliopolis.
May the light of the sun shine upon you always.
Raven Inkwell
Senechal to Queen Celestia (forever may she reign)
Sunset was too stunned to respond immediately, instead staring dumbly at the letter, unsure if she was really seeing what she was seeing. She could vaguely sense the others gathering around her, probably wondering if she was alright, or what the letter said. Slowly, Sunset pulled the letter to her chest and looked at the woman who delivered it.
“Is this real?” Sunset whispered. “Am I dreaming? Was I actually chosen?”
There was a chorus of surprised and excited exclamations behind her, but Sunset barely registered them. Her whole world at that moment was just her, the letter she was holding, and the courier.
“If that’s what Lady Inkwell wrote, then yes, you have.” The woman said plainly as she stared at Sunset with those calm, black eyes.
“I’m going to be able to attend the rite?” Sunset asked, the sound of her heartbeat thundering in her ears.
“If you’ve been given an offer, and you accept it, then yes.” The woman replied. “I can come back tomorrow if you need time to think about your answer.”
“NO!” Sunset almost shouted, her heart nearly jumping out of her chest with fright. Fright that if this stranger left, she’d never see her again, and she’d miss her chance. “No…no… you don’t need to leave. I know my answer.”
“Oh?”
“My answer is yes. I accept. Without a doubt, I accept.” Sunset said as she held the letter a little closer to her chest.
As she looked at the woman’s face, she saw that odd, lopsided smile form on her lips again.
“Well, it seems you’ve made up your mind. Good. Good good.” Sunset watched as the woman turned to face Tender Heart and nodded to her. “Now that that’s settled, I believe I have some news to deliver to Lady Inkwell. Her grace will be in touch with you shortly to work out the details.”
And with that, she turned to leave, her wings spreading as she prepared to take off.
“Wait!” Sunset called. At the sound, the woman stopped and turned to look over her shoulder at Sunset. “Thank you. Please, what’s your name.”
“My name doesn’t matter kiddo.” The woman said with a twinkle in her eyes and a smirk. “I’m just the messenger.”
And with that, she turned away and lept into the air, flying eastward towards Heliopolis.
Looking down at the letter in her arms, Sunset squeezed it to her chest, a few tears of joy forming in the corner of her eyes.
“I got in.” She whispered to herself as she felt the others gather around her. “I got in…”
*****
The next two months were a blur of letters to Raven Inkwell, working out all of the logistics for the trip, all while keeping up with work and her chores at the orphanage.
As she was figuring out the details for the trip, she’s hit a snag: calculating the costs for her passage to and from Heliopolis, and her new clothes, she realized that she’d never be able to afford both. If she wanted to get to the capital, and return to Golden Tree after the rite, she wouldn’t be able to afford the clothes she needed. If she got the clothes, she’d only be able to afford a one way ticket.
And there was no way she was going to strand herself in Heliopolis.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t ask Tender Heart for the money. The house already ran on a tight budget as it was. Similarly, she couldn’t withhold her usual contribution, because without it, she’d be making life harder for the others, and she couldn’t do that. Not in good conscience.
She’d approached Bronze on the matter, asking if he’d be able to give her extra work to make up the difference. But, like with Tender Heart, he couldn’t. Not without putting the forge into the red. Sunset was starting to consider asking her oath-sisters, when Bronze came up with a possible solution. It turned out that he was friends with a caravan leader, a earth-weaver named Open Trails, that made regular trips between the capital and Golden Tree. Upon learning this, Sunset had asked Bronze if he could arrange a meeting between herself and the earth-weaver.
It took some doing, but they’d managed to make the meeting happen.
Much to her disappointment, he told her that there was no way he could give her a price cut on her passage, even for Bronze. But, unwilling to give up, she had asked if there was another way to possibly save on her ticket. Reluctantly, he said because she was Bronze’s apprentice, he’d be willing to make a deal with her. If she was willing to work part-time on the caravan crew, helping with meal preparation, gathering wood when they camped, helped take care of the horses, and other miscellaneous tasks, he would be willing to cut the price of her round-trip ticket by half.
Sunset had needed to take a day to consider her options. On the one hand, she’d be able to afford the trip and get the clothes she’d need. But, on the other, she’d be working along the way.
In the end, she knew what she had to do, and she informed Open Trails that she’d take his offer. A few letters between Raven Inkwell and herself, and her arrival date in Heliopolis was set.
Now all she needed to do was wait for the day she left Golden Tree on the biggest adventure of her life.
*****
The weeks flew by, yet seemed to crawl along at a snail’s pace until the day of Sunset’s departure arrived, her nerves screaming in panic as she walked with Pinkie, Rainbow and Applejack to the caravan staging area, a worn duffel bag slung over her shoulder. Inside were her new clothes, her tome of legends, a couple of smaller books on rune engraving, and a few other basic necessities.
The day before, Pinkie had arranged a giant ‘going away’ party for Sunset at the orphanage. Unlike her normally energetic events, this one was more subdued, but still fun. Music, dancing, a few treats supplied by Mr. and Mrs. Cake for the occasion. They’d ended the festivities earlier than normal; Sunset was departing early, and she couldn’t afford to be late. Tender Heart had let Pinkie, Rainbow and Applejack stay the night, with their parent’s permission. The four girls, not wanting to sleep apart, had set up a nest of bedrolls on the common room floor and slept cuddled in each other's arms. It was the last time they were going to see each other for a month, and they wanted to be as close as possible, even through the darkness of sleep.
The morning had come abruptly, finding the four of them huddled in each other’s arms, Rainbow’s wings spread out on top of their shared quilt, covering them protectively. Sunset was the first to wake up, her eyes opening to the sight of blond hair and her nostrils filled with the smell of apples, roses and chicory blossoms. Peaking at the grandfather clock near on the wall, she saw that she had two hours until she left. And that meant she’d have to get up soon. Gently nudging Applejack to rouse her, then Pinkie and Rainbow, the four girls slowly and groggily woke up.
“Mornin’ everyone.” Sunset said, gently scooting back and shifting Rainbow’s wing so she could sit up.
“Mornin’ / Good morning Sunny / Hey”
Regarding the window, Sunset sighed.
“Sorry to be that person more than usual, but we should get up. I leave in a couple hours.” Sunset said as she passed her eyes over her oath-sisters.
“Aww, don’t remind me.” Pinkie whined.
“Can’t we just stay here for a little longer?” Rainbow asked as she pulled her wing in and sat up. “I mean, we’ve still got time.”
“I wish we could.” Sunset said, “But, I need to finish getting everything together.”
“Didn’t yah do that last night?” Applejack said as she propped herself up on her elbows.
“I’m mostly packed, but I kinda put finishing up off because of the party.” Sunset said sheepishly. “I wanted as much time with everyone as possible before I went.”
“Well, how about Dash helps yah finish, while Pinkie and Ah whip up some grub.” Applejack said as she pushed herself up and sat on her knees.
“That’s a super aweserific idea AJ!” Pinkie squealed with delight. “I know just what we’re going to make for Sunny’s ‘you’re going away for a while, but you’ll be back soon’ breakfast. Do you think Tender Heart will mind us using the kitchen?”
“You two?” Sunset said, the thought of Pinkie and Applejack’s cooking making her smile happily. “I’m sure she’ll be fine with it. Just not Dash.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Rainbow said testily.
“Dashie, you’re so bad at cooking, I’ve seen you burn water.” Pinkie giggled. “You’re super awesome at a lot of things, but making anything other than charcoal in the kitchen isn’t one of them.”
“You’re a riot Pinkie.” Rainbow deadpanned.
“Ah’right you two, let it go.” Applejack interjected, “We don’ want tah make ah scene. We’re here fer Sunset, remember?”
Both Rainbow and Pinkie’s mouths snapped shut at that, and they looked at Sunset apologetically.
“It’s fine.” Sunset said, “C’mon, let’s get going. The sooner we get up, the sooner we get to hang out.”
The others nodded in agreement, and began to rise.
Ten minutes later, Rainbow and Sunset had her bag packed, and put at the landing near the door. The two of them headed into the dining room. A few minutes after their arrival, Pinkie and Applejack came out of the kitchen, Pinkie carrying a giant plate of apple stuffed crepes, while AJ brought both a bowl of hash browns and a big pitcher of hot tea. The four of them tucked in, trying to stay as quiet as possible while still chatting, doing their best to avoid the looming linnorm of Sunset’s imminent departure.
Once they’d finished up, they worked together to get their dishes and the kitchen cleaned up and ready for Tender Heart.
Soon, the four of them were getting ready to head out, when they heard the sound of slow footfalls behind them. Turning, they saw Tender Heart descending the stairs. Sunset tried not to look at the pained, worried expression on the matron’s face, but she couldn’t bring herself not to look at her.
“So, this is it?” Tender Heart said, fighting to hold back her tears. “You’re really going through with this?”
Sunset didn’t reply with words. Instead, she walked up to the matron and threw her arms around her, hugging her tightly.
“I am.” Sunset sniffled.
Tender Heart slowly returned the hug, barely holding back her own tears.
“Please be careful Sunset.” She said solemnly.
“I will be. I promise.” Sunset said.
“Do you want to say goodbye to everyone else?” The matron asked.
“If they’re awake.”
“I don’t think they’ll mind if we wake them up for this. They’ll want to say goodbye too.”
Sunset released Tender Heart, and nodded.
“Okay. Wait here.” Tender Heart said as she turned and went back up the stairs.
A few minutes later, she returned, the other children in tow. Sunset was soon enveloped in a large group hug as everyone tearfully said their goodbyes, wished her luck, and told her to come home safely. Sunset put on a brave face as she said her goodbyes.
Eventually, Sunset extracted herself from the crowd of her fellow orphans, and made her way to the door. With one last goodbye, the four oath-sisters headed out. Exiting the orphanage’s grounds, the four of them walked in silence towards the north-eastern section of Golden Tree where Sunset would join up with the caravan heading to Heliopolis.
As they walked, Sunset would occasionally steal glances at the other girls. Her oath-sisters were trying to be stoic, but Sunset knew that they were just as nervous as she was. Perhaps even moreso. As they arrived at the caravan staging area, the pressure became too much for Pinkie, and she rushed forward, grabbing Sunset in a tight hug.
“I don’t want you to go Sunny!” Pinkie wailed, clearly on the verge of tears as she hugged the other girl. “Please don’t go. Who’s going to help me plan pranks on Rainbow when she does something dumb? Who’s going to taste my newest creations? Who’s going to groan at my puns? Who’s going to keep me out of Applejack’s special cider?”
Applejack quirked an eyebrow. “Wait ah second, yer the one who keeps tryin’ to get inta the hard zap apple cider?”
Sunset ignored Applejack’s question, instead returning Pinkie’s hug.
“I’m sure you’ll manage, Pinkie. You’ve still got Rainbow and AJ to keep you out of trouble. Or maybe help you get into it.” Sunset said as she rubbed the pink earth-weaver’s back. “It's only for a month. I’ll be back after the rite is over.”
“Still, I wish we could’ve gone with you.” Rainbow said solemnly, “I don’t like the idea of you being all alone in that city.”
“I wish you could come too.” Sunset said as she regarded Rainbow, fighting to hold back her tears. “But… this is just how it is. I promise to write as often as I can.”
“Yah better.” Applejack said, her voice nearly cracking. “I want to know yah ‘re doin’ okay, yah hear me? Ah don’t care if yah’re busy, yah’d better write tah us every week till the rite’s over.”
“I will. I promise.” Sunset said. “Infact, I Pinkie Promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“You better not break that promise.” Pinkie sobbed, squeezing Sunset tight against her chest, “Or I’ll find you.”
“Have I ever broken a Pinkie Promise?” Sunset asked.
“First time for everything, Sun-butt.” Rainbow said as she wiped her eyes.
Sunset looked at the sad faces of her oath-sisters. Her best friends. Her family. She hated the idea of being away from them for as long as she was going to be, but this was the choice she made. And it was one she’d see through.
No matter how much it hurt.
“Oh, come here. Both of you.” Sunset said, shifting to give Applejack and Rainbow space to get in on the hug.
Soon, all four were embracing, holding Sunset tight as they savored the warm feeling of their sisterly love for one another. The dam finally broke, and the four of them began sobbing at the pain of their separation.
“I’m going to miss you all so much.” Sunset said through her tears. “You’re the best sisters a girl could hope for. So… stay strong, and I’ll be back before you know it. Then, we can get into all sorts of trouble again.”
“We’ll miss you too Sunny / Yah too sugar / You better be back.”
“Alright.” Sunset said as she released her grip on the others. “I need to go before I chicken out.”
Slowly, the others released her. Adjusting her duffel bag, she did her best to smile at her oath-sisters, who returned the effort with minimal success.
“I’ll see you all soon.” Sunset said as she started to walk past her friend. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw the three of them waiving, watery smiles on their faces. Waving back, she smiled as well.
She’d see them again in a month.
As she approached the caravan, Sunset spotted Open Trails talking with a few other people she recognized from around town, including Bronze Hammer. She was surprised to see her teacher there, but was glad nonetheless. Taking a deep breath, she approached the caravan leader. Waiting until he was done talking, she cleared her throat to get his attention.
“Ah, hello Sunset.” The stocky, brown skinned, sandy-tan haired earth-weaver said as he turned away from Bronze.
“Good morning, Sunset.” Bronze said as he stepped towards his apprentice and ruffled her hair affectionately.
“Good morning.” Sunset said as she ran her fingers through her hair, getting it back in order. “What’re you doing here Bronze?”
“What, can’t I see my apprentice off on her big day?” Bronze laughed as he regarded the young girl.
“Of course not.” Sunset said, “I’m just surprised is all. I just thought you’d be getting the forge ready for the day.”
“I can get a little bit of a late start, kiddo. This is more important.” Bronze said as he kneeled down and pulled Sunset into a hug. Sunset stood there in shock for a minute. Bronze was rarely, if ever, openly affectionate with her. Slowly, she returned the hug.
“You’re growing up so fast, kid.” Bronze said wistfully as he pulled away from the hug and put his hands on Sunset’s shoulders. “Look, I’m not one for sentimentality, and I’m sure you’ve heard this a thousand times already, but be careful, okay. You’re going to be in the middle of a den of vipers, so watch your step.”
“I will.” Sunset said.
“Good.” Bronze said as he rose back up to his feet. “I’ve got to go, so I’ll see you when you get back. I expect to see you at the smithy when you get home. Don’t want you getting too soft on me.”
Sunset chuckled at that, before nodding.
“Alright, I’m off.” Bronze said before turning back to Open Trails. “Keep her safe, you hear me.”
“Don’t worry, I will.” Open Trails said as he clapped his hand on Bronze’s shoulder.
And with that, Bronze walked off towards town.
Sunset watched him go until he was out of sight, then turned to Open Trails. The earth-weaver nodded at her and crossed his arms across his chest.
“Do you have the radiants for the trip.” He asked.
“Right here.” Sunset said, pulling a pouch of coins out of her bag and handing it to Open Trails. Opening the pouch, he did a quick count and nodded.
“Good.” He said as he put the bag in a small box on the table he was standing next to, before turning his attention back to Sunset. “Now, put your bag over with the others. Once you do, help the others get the supplies put into the cold chests. I want to get underway as soon as possible.”
“Yes, sir.” Sunset said nervously. This was it. This was really about to happen. Turning, she started to walk off.
“Sunset, one second.” Open Trails called.
Sunset stopped and looked back at him.
“Sunset, you’re scared. I can see it in your eyes.” He said, his face warming up a bit. “This is a big, scary new experience for you. But, don’t worry. I’ll get you to Heliopolis in one piece. Bronze would have my head if I let anything happen to you. Understand?”
Sunset looked at him dumbly for a moment before smiling and nodding.
“Good girl. Now, you’ve got work to do, so get going.” He said, lifting his hand and casually flicking his finger in the direction of the baggage pile.
Nodding, Sunset adjusted her bag and started to make her way to the baggage pile.
‘No turning back now.’ She thought, ‘All that’s left is to move forward.’
Stats
Page generated in 0.024 seconds
Total duration
994 users online
1,479,660 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Omg :'3
ALL ABOARD!!!!! (Train noises)
Yes Sunset, Move Forward and onto your destiny! that Drive and determination is going to be a valuable asset in the coming days!
Ooh, self-burn! Those are rare.
So... you can spelldance by doing the Robot?
And so Sunset begins her journey. What wonders will she encounter on the road? What horrors await her in the capital? And will she be able to find a decent set of clothes before the Saiyans arrive on Earth? Find out next time on Dragonba—
Hang on, sorry, I drifted into a different bit. Suffice to say, looking forward to more.
10068312
All Aboard, Next Stop is Heliopolis!
This world is all wrong! It's doomed, Doomed I say! It has a Rainbow Dash that likes Pie!
10068399
DOOOOOOMMED!!!!!!!
10068269
I take it you liked the chapter, and it hit you in the feels in just the right way, yes?
10068312
Less train, more horse drawn wagons, but close enough.
10068324
That our little Sunset is. She just doesn't know it yet.
10068347
Let's just say Sunny and RD have had eating contest rivalries in the past.
I hadn't thought of that before, but now I am. Not sure what kind of spell it'd produce, but if its a proper casting dance, sure.
10068399
Really? (Goes to FIMwiki) Huh, so that's a thing they did in S-7. Then again, I kinda shifted to EG at the end of S-5…
10068506
there you go!
I'm guessing they look more Oriental Dragons vs. the more European Dragons we normally see in the show. So quick question then. Are dragons sapient here or are they more of a feral beast?
If it holds to D&D/Pathfinder they are more on the feral side. They are Celtic, I believe, Dragons, so force of Nature deals with a death curse if you manage to kill them.
10068697
Sort of. Think more snake with forelegs and draconic heads. Intellect varies by species, but most are reasonably intelligent. Just… very aggressive if provoked. And they're easy to provoke. They're more common the further one gets from civilization, though, as large predators, there aren't usually a whole lot of them.
Wyrms, the "traditional" style of dragon are more common in the north near Selenia, while linnorms are more common in the south. The two do not get along well, and will usually attack each other on sight.
10068763
Well, Norse actually. No death curse per se, but they're devastatingly powerful, particularly as they get older. And, though not universal, many of the oldest linnorms ally with Sombra and learn shadow-magic.
Soon she'll be able to one up those stuck up nobles who have their noses so high in the air they can't see in front of them... I'll enjoy it when she goes to teach them a lesson.
The thing i like the most in your story (next to the world building) is how much the characters care for each other. They've got each others back and are like real family to young Sunset. Really hit the warm spirit of the FIM.
Almitas and Praecipio? Are these like months in this universe?
Careful with adorableness. A lot of good people have died because they couldn't handle the dose.
10068903
Its going to be some time yet, but she's going to get her's.
10069045
Thank you. Even if the world is so different from the main universe, it's still FiM, and I'm trying to keep true to that. Sunset's going to be headed to a dark place, but as with the canon Sunset, it's friendship that pulls her to the light.
Indeed they are. Though, I'm mostly coming up with them as I go (I don't have a specific calendar in my notes). Maybe I should correct that.
Cute can be a lethal weapon, in the right hands.
10068964
Fixed. Thanks for the heads up.
10069180
Your welcome also I think The messenger was Raven.
10069180
Though Kratus who's my Bionicle OC would be way more amused than I would and would enjoy it as well.
God i loved this chapter. I love this fic. I love the pacing i love just hng everything about it. Whenever i see it update my heart skips a beat.
I read the original one and by the 9 does this fic make that one pale in comparison. Both were really good but this is just a whole new level.
I really can't wait until the next chapter and i wanna thank you for making my days better with your writing.
10069181
I want to say things, but I can't because I'm trying not to spoil stuff. Sorry to be that entity.
10069336
Its okay. Ps if you Pm me I can keep a secret.
10069334
Well, you're welcome. And thank you for your kind words.
10069180
That dark place has me very happy that Pinky is already close to Sunset.
The reasons why Sunset is going to go down the road would be more then enough for Rainbow, and probably AJ, to fallow her down it. Had it been Rarity over Pinky, well generosity comes in many forms...
Barring a wild Fluttershy working her way into Sunset's circle, as a lady in waiting or something, Pinky is going be needed to lift Sunset's spirit and keep the others from being enablers.
10069180
I suppose to start would be how you want the year split up. It doesn't have to parallel the Gregorian calendar. You could have 6 time periods that correspond with the life cycle Birth, Growth, Mature, Harvest, Decay, Death/Rest. Birth would cover early Spring. Growth is late Spring into mid Summer. Harvest is when crops are at their peak in mid Summer to late Fall. Decay would be when leaves start to change color and fall. Death/Rest would be when the ground freezes over.
That was just an example off the top of my head. I'm just saying that the division of time doesn't have to match what we know. As for names, I suppose it could corrispond to notable events that happen during that time, or a notable individual that got a month named after them. It might also depend on how long the system has been in place. If it predates the War of Sun and Moon, then Selenia and Solaria may use the same calendar, and the names may not mean anything to modern mortals.
Enjoying the pacing of this ...
My sympathy to anyone who has slept in the same room with one of these majestic pieces of art and engineering
(also not a wall clock, more like a piece of furniture)
I thought it was called a Lindworm.
Wait I see Linnorm is the Norwegian word for it.
Old Norse linnormr 'ensnaring snake', Norwegian linnorm 'dragon', Swedish lindorm, Danish lindorm 'serpent', German Lindwurm
10069394
Yea, that's not too far from the truth. As for Rares and Flutters, they're night-weavers in this universe, so they're part of Twilight's side of the story.
10069401
Not bad ideas. As for the names, the months I've come up with use Latin synonyms for the Elements of Harmony.
10069600
Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
10069489
It's a testament to how tired the girls were before they crashed.
10069770
Minus the explosives. (yet)
10072811
Indeed. In universe, the words linnorm and lindworm are synonyms, much like "dragon" and "wyrm" are synonyms.
Kinda surprised the lottery doesn’t cover the trip, but then again American lottos certainly aren’t overly helpful in regards to how they treat their winners.
10079329
In story, it's a way to ensure that only those that are truly dedicated to serving will attend. Out of story, it was a way to put an obstacle in Sunset's path that she had to overcome.
10079698
Should there really be an explicitly "out of story" reason for including a plot point? Obviously there needs to be conflict, but it seems counter productive to create it arbitrarily. What you've done in this case is characterized Raven as someone who would extend this opportunity only to retract it because the recipient wasn't wealthy enough. If that's not correct and you then correct it along the lines of "Raven knew about Sunset, if Sunset had lost the funds due to theft or something she would have intervened" ... That's putting the action first and then filling in the motivation later, which seems backwards to me.
10080639
Y'know, that's a fair assessment given what I said. The thing is, and I really hate to be this being, I can't really go deeper into what both Celestia and Raven know, the seven dimensional game of chess they're playing with not just the nobility, but the entire nation of Solaria, without giving away too much. What I can say is that Celestia, and Raven, do not leave things like this to chance, but have to make it look like they're leaving it to chance, want to do what's best for Solaria, but do not want to be obvious that they're playing both the short term, and the millennium long game.
Sorry if that's frustratingly vague.
BABY APPLE BLOOMMMMM!!!!!!? SQUEEEEEE
By all that is sacred this story might kill me of cuteness overload before I get overwhelmed with the Drama
I love them so muuuuch
I can even feel the torture they feel at the thought of being apart
10354088
Yea, they're not looking forward to being separated. Like I said, they're family. And being separated from family you love is always hard.
Hmm. Hello Raven... no it has to be Celestia.
10538813
If you're referring to the messenger, her identity will be revealed in time. Just be careful about the comments section in later chapters if you don't want spoilers.
Going back through this, I think my favorite thing about your characterization of Sunset is how you capture her raw determination. This is a girl who refuses to surrender, who refuses to be denied when she wants something, who will take the longer, harder route to what she wants if she has to, rather than give up. Its something we see in canon to an extent, but you flesh it out so well here, and really showcase that its a part of the character, despite the AU setting, despite her being like 10.
Intelligence, passion, intensity, all of these are part of her, but that drive is what I think makes her really feel like Sunset Shimmer.
11673846
It's something that really draws me to her as a character. When she goes for something, she goes for it. It's inspiring, even if it gets her into trouble.
Sunset really doesn't seem to understand what being chosen entails. I mean, maybe here she just feels like she won't be chosen anyway cause she's just going to watch, but the whole "I'll see them in three months" definitely feels more like "I'm not going to see them for a lot longer than three months,".
Reading on.
11691267
To be fair, she doesn't have any idea what's in store for her. She just thinks that she's going to see the rite.