• Published 12th Aug 2012
  • 1,290 Views, 53 Comments

Doobie and Magic Matt ruin Ponyville - Doobie



Two stoners named Wesley and Matt and transported to Equestria and turned into ponies.

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Prologue

The two best friends Wesley and Matt were sitting on their cheap sofa watching antiques roadshow with their favourite meal, Rustlers burgers and Dr. pepper, along with a copious amount of weed.

There was a knock at the door and Wesley got up to answer it. Wesley was getting extremely nervous, thinking that a policeman might be at the door. He grabbed the doorknob with his sweaty hand and slipped on it a few times before getting a grip. He pulled the door open, ready for what was coming.

“What seems to be the officer, problem? Was I speeding?” said Wesley after the marijuana cloud coming out of the door has dispersed.

“What are you on about, Wesley? It’s me. Patrick.” Said the fat dude at the door.

“Oh, right. Come on in, buddy.” Said Wesley as he started walking back to the sofa.

“Hey guys, I found this lamp on my way back from asda and I thought you guys would like it.” Said Patrick.

“Let’s put gravy in it and have a roast dinner!” Shouted Matt, waving his arms in the air like he just didn’t care.

“Matt, it’s not a gravy boat you buffoon. It’s obviously a Genie’s lamp. give me that shit so i can rub it.” Demanded Wesley.

Patrick handed the supposed “Genie’s Lamp” to Wesley, Wesley then rubbed the lamp with all his might while Matt finished his rustlers burger and took another hit from the bong.

Roughly 40 seconds of rubbing and a severely friction burnt hand later, Wesley in all of his wisdom concluded that not only was the lamp not a Genie’s lamp, but also that friction burns really hurt.

“Here, Matt.” said Wesley, throwing the lamp to Matt and hitting him in the face with it. “Go put some gravy in this gravy boat.”

Matt ran into the kitchen and opened the cupboard, pulling out his “Aah! Bisto” gravy out and put the kettle on.

“Here mate, take a hit from this.” said Wesley, as he handed Patrick the bong.

“I dunno man, you know how I get when I’m high...”

“What’s the worst that could happen, you pansy?”

At that, Patrick took the bong, grabbed the lighter and took a rather large hit.

He held it in for an impressive 40 seconds before breathing out, his eyes now bloodshot and a smile on his face.

Matt was in the kitchen, about to pour boiling water into the lamp. As he did so, a thunderous noise reverberated throughout the house and the lamp began to rise up into the air and glow an electric blue.

“Wesley, Patrick! Get your asses in here, some shit’s goin’ down!” screamed Matt and he backed away from the lamp.

As Wesley and Matt stumbled into the room, a blue hand smashed through the lid of the lamp. A forearm soon followed, along with a head and soon the rest of the mysterious creature.

“WHO DARES AWAKE OSWALD THE GRAVY GENIE?”

“That would be me, mighty sir.” said matt, shivering in his boots.

“Wow, that is one ugly wizard. I bet he doesn’t even do good magic.” said Patrick as the other two guys looked at him in horror.

“I AM NOT A WIZARD! YOU DOUBT MY POWER?”

“I do.”

Oswald the powerful and pissed off gravy genie conjured a bolt of lightning that struck Patrick in the chest, killing him instantly. The two stoners who weren’t now dead looked at oswald in shock.

“Dude, you need to calm down!”

“AND HOW WOULD YOU PROPOSE WE DO THAT, MORTAL?”

**********

The gravy genie and the two stoners were sitting on the sofa watching adverts. Oswald had just taken his second hit from the bong.

“That’s some good shit, man.”

“Fo sho. So do we get 3 wishes or something?” said Wesley, passing the bong to matt.

“Sure, I don’t see why not. My jimmies have been rustled for 400 years inside that lamp. It’s the least I can do for yous guys.”

“I want 30 bacon sandwiches!” shouted Matt, looking excited.

“Done.” Oswald said, clicking his fingers and materialising thirty delicious bacon sandwiches next to Matt.

“Oh, oh! And fill my room with jelly!”

“Done.” Oswald said again, clicking his fingers.

Matt’s bedroom door swung open, allowing a colossal pile of jelly to fall out into the hallway.

“Yay!” screamed Matt as he jumped onto the sticky mess.

“Alright, enough of matt’s retarded wishes, now it’s my turn.” Said Wesley.

“What will it be, chum?” Said Oswald, readying his fingers.

“Hmm. I’ll have to think about it.” Wesley mumbled, scratching his chin.

“Take your time, bro.”

Just as Wesley looked up at the Television, inspiration struck. In the form of pastel coloured ponies.

“Friendship is magic!” Exclaimed Wesley, as Matt looked up from his pile of jelly.

“Is it on?” said matt, running over to the sofa.

My little pony: friendship is magic was Wesley and Matt’s favourite show ever, they never missed an episode.

“Alright, Oswald. I have my wish.”

“What is your wish, friend?”

“I want me and Matt to go to equestria.”

The genie smiled and got ready to click his fingers.

“Done.”

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