Guest Star Kelduo: Justice from Afar

by The Kelduo

Chapter 42: W.A.L.L.O.P.

Normally I do not reveal the breakdown of the adventure codenames. However, this is a special occasion. Therefore, I will reveal it to you, but just this once:

• Wacky
• Assault:
• Ludicrous
• Lizard,
• Overpowered
• Porygon

---

My destination is Discord's dimension. However, Discord won't just let someone enter his dimension, because he's Discord. He's chaotic. He would only let the most chaotic of creatures (or Fluttershy) enter his dimension. I was to find a way to be chaotic enough to be allowed access. Accessing television database... Searching for chaotic schematics... Aha!

Warning: Selecting these schematics may lead to unexpected chaos and irrationality. Will you activate these schematics anyway?

Yes
No

Of course I'm going to activate it anyway. I need the chaos.

=>Yes

Transformation engaged. Stomach section becoming more oblong, longer lengthwise. Pouch forming on midsection. Small, skinny legs forming from tail. Arms becoming skinnier and forming elbow joints, as well as hands. Head becoming larger and rougher. Chin jutting out. Beak shortening and becoming more spherical. Alolan Dugtrio-style copper wires forming underneath beak. Top of head rising up, forming a bump with antenna at the top, acting as a propeller. Center of optical lens lights deactivated, acting as pupils. Activating jolly, yet slightly elder, voice module: "Good morning!" Transformation into U-G Mk. 2 mode complete.

I placed myself on the fountain for all to see before engaging chaotic activities. Level 1: Beak juggling. I removed my beak from my head before splitting it into three small balls. I tossed the balls into the air while humming circus music. The crowd's reaction: Surprised and amazed. After a few rounds, I spiced things up by forming a blazing hoop to toss them through. However, the hoop seemed to be too small; the balls came ablaze after going through the hoop. So, this was what it was like for creatures in winter with a bad fever.

"Ah, ah... Achoo!" The balls shot all over the place, away from my reach. "Excuse me!" Rather than run to pick the balls up, I separated my head in two, where a new beak formed and replaced the old one. "I don't like to pick my nose. Instead, I just make a new one to replace lost noses. Saves me a trip to the store." The audience burst into laughter. "Besides, the only nuggets I like are nuggets of knowledge, which cannot be found in nostrils." More laughter came from the crowd.

Hmm... No sign of Discord. He's attracted to chaos, so I must not have been chaotic enough. Proceeding to level 2: A partner. Engaging hard-light formation: mechanical version of a carnivorous member of the feline family that is approximately twice as large as others of its kind.

I placed myself upon the creature's back. "Hi ho, GR-FT! Away!"

GR-FT let out a mechanical roar as it flew away, firing stars from its rear end to propel itself. The crowd's reaction: flabbergasted.

Searching for signs of Discord... No sign detected. Just how chaotic must I be for Discord to grant me access to his dimension? Perhaps I should ask a good friend of his for advice. My next destination: Fluttershy's cottage.

---

I dismounted my ride and dissolved the hard-light illusion to nothing. I walked up to the door and knocked three times. "*Knock knock knock* Fluttershy? *knock knock knock* Fluttershy? *knock knock knock* Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy opened the door slowly, only to quickly shut it when she saw me. "Um... W-who are you?"

Oh, she didn't recognize me in my U-G Mk. 2 mode. I reverted to my normal form. "Sorry about the misunderstanding, Fluttershy. It's me, Roborygon. I'm trying to find a way to Discord so--"

"Discord? He's right inside."

I deadpanned. "You mean to tell me that all this time I've been trying to be chaotic enough for Discord to bring me to his dimension so I can take back the Energy Spheres from him, only to find that he's been here the whole time?"

"Oh, my! I'm very sorry that we made you go through all that. I'll make you some tea to make up for that."

"I would accept, but I am artificial. I have no need for food or drink. I prefer to satisfy my craving for knowledge. May I see Discord now?"

"Of course you can. Come on in."

I went inside the cottage, only to find Discord reading a newspaper. "It's about time you showed up, Roborygon. I was growing bored of watching you try to be chaotic."

I emitted steam from my beak out of rage. "You did this just to humiliate me! You cowardly draconequus!"

"No, you've got it all wrong." Discord showed me the newspaper, which had a video clip of me doing the things I thought were necessary to attract Discord. "I did it so I could laugh at your chaotic activities. Loved the references, by the way."

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for getting angry at you. And I'm glad you enjoyed the references. Now, can you hand over the Energy Spheres?"

"I thought you'd never ask! And my answer is... Do you really think I'd just give you the Energy Spheres needed to repair the Lor Starcutter? I won't give them to you without a little chaotic one-on-one!" Discord snapped his fingers, creating a large painting of Discord. "Enter if you're ready to endure my chaotic powers." He snapped again, creating a television screen depicting his home in his dimension. "Oh, and Fluttershy, you can watch us duke it out with this."

With that, the two of us entered the painting, Discord first.

---

I re-emerged in Discord's home. At the far end was a mustached Discord sitting in a chair, stroking a small Discord in his lap. "Well, what do we have here? If it isn't the pesky Porygon that's here to mess up my plans."

I replied with equal seriousness, "Cut the act, Discord. You know that there's nowhere left to hide. Fork over the Energy Spheres, and just maybe you won't get hurt."

Discord threw away his smaller Discord and ripped off his mustache before putting the Energy Spheres that were floating around him into a jar. "I don't do things the easy way. I do them the crazy way. Besides, do you really think you're capable of battling against my chaotic prowess?"

"Nope... I know I am! I will prove it for you in a duel of chaos versus chaos. Engaging Mechupanization modules." Tail forming legs. Arms forming hands and bending at the elbows. Head shaping into hemisphere, bottom half. Antenna bending ninety degrees and shifting towards back of head (and for good measure, forming a barrier around itself). Bouncing legs, active. Fingers, weaponized. "Let us see who will win: Mechamug or Discord the draconequus! I insist that you do the honors!"

"But of course!" Discord snapped his fingers, and words formed in the foreground: 'Ready? WALLOP!!'

Energy-firing finger guns, activate! The projectiles made direct contact with Discord, but he did not appear to be harmed. Of course, there's no health meter to show how much damage he has taken, so I had to just keep firing. After taking about ten shots, Discord began his counterattack. He threw five red, bouncing fireballs, two green, floating fireballs, and one pink, erratic fireball at me. I leapt over the red fireballs, ducked the green ones, and then I slapped the pink one with my hand, giving myself the boost needed to reach the ceiling and shoot from there.

Discord rubbed two defibrillators together. "Clear!" He then pressed them on the ceiling, sending an electrical current through it. I couldn't get off the ceiling in time, so I was zapped by the surge.

Activating self-evaluation...

Power capacity now at 300%.

Well, how about that? I've always wanted to say this... "IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZERRR!!!!!" I fired my new power in the form of a great laser from both of my hands and antenna.

However, Discord somehow inhaled the laser, akin to Hypernova Kirby inhaling Flowered Queen Sectonia's... oh, no. "AND IMMA SEND IT RIGHT BACK AT YAAAA!!!"

Welp, I'm done for. Power levels 80%, 50%, 2.5%... Finally, the laser finished firing, but it was too late. My power levels fell victim to the laser, and I did not have the strength required to defeat the near-unbeatable Discord. Shutting down...

Discord laughed as he held my lifeless body in his lion paw. "Did you really think you could beat me? Look at yourself now! You're dead! Deactivated! Obliterated! Scrap metal!"

Discord then gagged as something grasped his throat. What was that something? The next thing spoken will explain what it was: "I can put up with being called smashed, busted, defeated, and devastated. But you do NOT call me scrap metal!" Yes, I had not been defeated. Those power levels? I made them up.

"What?! B-but how? I thought you shut down!"

I grinned. "I did. But that was merely to fool you. You cannot harm me unless you strike my antenna, as shown when you interrogated me."

"Well played, but I, on the other hand, just plain cannot be harmed, except by the Elements of Harmony, and they can only be used by their respective wearers. As far as I know, they're still on the Tree of Harmony!"

"Then we're at a stalemate. Do you agree?"

"I agree. I'd try to continue attacking you, but you're much too fun for me to deactivate. Since we can't hurt each other, what shall we do?"

"How about you give me the Energy Spheres?"

"Once again, I cannot just do that. Rather, I propose a truce. I will only give you the Energy Spheres on one condition."

My eyes narrowed. "Name it."

Discord grinned. "The condition is that you allow me to perform one chaotic act on one of your partners."

"And what would that be?"

"I'm feeling generous, so I'll let you decide. But I will still judge whether it is chaotic enough for me." Discord gave me a treaty of sorts. "I'll give you one chance, so make it count."

It read:

This treaty proposes that the mighty lord of chaos will give Roborygon the Energy Spheres if he is allowed to perform a chaotic act of Roborygon's choice. Roborygon's act of choice for yours truly to perform is ____________________________________.
Discord's signature: ________________________________

Oh, dear. What to have Discord do...?

---

15/45 Energy Spheres obtained

Author's Note:

Who will be affected by Discord's latest chaotic activities? Only the next chapter will tell.

Also, did you spot the references?