Just a simple brony who has some ideas and whishes to complete them. That's what I hope thi site will pressure me to do.
A young stallion unicorn, given a quest over 1000 years ago, and finished said ques. Wakes up to find himself not where he thought he'd be, in the Everfree Forest. Dazed and Confused he seeks out help and finds it, along with some new friends.
-Warning, contains some minor graphic details that some would view as offensive-
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A few mistakes, here and there.
1. His speech isn't as medieval as it should be.
2. You keep using commas instead of periods, resulting in huge run-on sentences that just keep going.
3. Some world are spelt wrong, like "Sweet Apple Acres" and "Pauper"
4. How would Twilight instantly think of the knight as from a book, when the book probably didn't go into detail about how he looked, and the fact that there are probably thousands of stories with Celestia sending some knight to save Luna.
Interesting concept, though I hope to see what you can do with this.
1060456 Well, to tell the truth, the first chapter has actually been majorly revised. And about the whole comma over useage, for some odd reason none of my English teachers find that as a problem.
Now on the subject of the medieval Speech issue, I agree, but I just don't really know how to use a lot of the medieval english. If you know of a list where it gives the medieval English and the synome for the words in Modern English, that would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for commenting, I appreciate your constructive criticism.
The beginning seemed a bit rushed, but this is much better than before. There are still some spelling errors, like "Sweet Apple Acres" and the "Griffon's lair", but I think this is getting on the right track.
1093619 I never seem to be able to get the SAA correct. But I've realized the introduction does seem quite short, and I am trying to come up with a new intro, one that will meet the 1000 word minimum so I can finally separate the chapters. Thank you again for your support.