When people begin suffering intense nightmares that kill their victims, salvation comes in the form of a young girl who overcame her despair through sheer force of will. She is the Trickster, and she will become the light in the darkness.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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.... okay do not try and pull ANTOHER thing like Silver Spoon's got a tough home and everyone doesn't like her or something.... it'll get repetitive.
...really. I'm not even going to comment on this one.
Two chapters in one day?
She mad.
Probably.
I'm not sure and I'm not sure I want to know.
Natually.
Though I may be sitting, I am giving this a standing ovation.
Most of it does, yes.
Hi, Silver.
Hardly.
Ah. You're one of THOSE rich chicks.
OK, she's, possessive.
I'm worried.
A Mario reference. Sure. Why not?
Positively CRIMSON.
Ah, soccer/pagent mom, got it.
I get the feeling you're right.
That's, a worrying line.
Oh no.
Soles. Souls are a very different thing.
Alright, fuck you, Darla Dimple.
I've got a better idea. Go fuck yourself.
Hatred is a bond. So, you're Devo. Hm. A Stand that grows stronger the more the user hates. How very fitting.
Ya don't say?
Oh?
It would.
Oh Jesus.
She's very good at hiding things.
Is it that big a deal?
What are you planning?
That shoot was more pornographic than she was comfortable with, wasn't it?
I don't like this. I don't like any of this. This worries me.
9605920
I had to. it came to me, and I had to write it.
Well, it got a laugh out of me. Best reference ever.
You probably meant to say ISN'T here
9606037
Nope, that's correct. She's saying that Diamond Tiara is the one who talks to the less wealthy, while she herself doesn't bother.
Okay, insert Cartman's "Kyle's Mom" song and replace Kyle's mom with Fleur De Lis. That sums up my thoughts right now.
9606073
*after looking up the song*
Yeah... pretty appropriate.
Hahahahaha
knew it
9605785
No it is not.
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/01bcfb7d-8f3f-437e-9840-34b76d3e24af/dd69s1u-570b889a-1dc6-4029-8476-62aa816c14e4.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzAxYmNmYjdkLThmM2YtNDM3ZS05ODQwLTM0Yjc2ZDNlMjRhZlwvZGQ2OXMxdS01NzBiODg5YS0xZGM2LTQwMjktODQ3Ni02MmFhODE2YzE0ZTQuanBnIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.iclx_oVdEauQQ8EVjQzSgdscXy8KknXxbPVXlaRVkI8 Mushroom Kingdom eh? Where's the princess? I want Peach and pizza now.
9606590
Actual historical figure or the Sengoku Basara version?
9606599
The actual man.
9606606
Now I have the expectation she's his descendant. Ball's in your court.
So I found this story today, and I got so caught up in it, I finished the latest chapter without realizing it. Crazy.
Aside from a few spelling mistakes, everything looks pretty good. You explore a lot of avenues that are hinted at in Persona Games, but are never explicitly stated. Both due to the rating guidelines they need to keep to and stuff that only makes sense in games. (The bit about how money just appears in her bank account had me laughing.)
The more explicit sexual themes are what really drive my interest for this story, to be honest. In addition to your fantastic storytelling skills, of course. It is something that not a lot of people have the guts to write about (especially when they pertain to their own history/fantasies), and I respect anyone who does so in a tasteful and realistic manner.
Speaking of your skills, there is a path that stories follow in media. They tend to go from less restrictive formats to more restrictive formats, and for good reason. This is usually BOOK -> SHOW -> MOVIE -> GAME. Rarely does anything hit all those points, but even rarer does anything go backwards. Game logic tends to not make sense in any other media, and writing a book opens you up to scrutiny other formats get the luxury of ignoring because of the greater limits of their potential. I have to say that this is one of, if not the best interpretations of a game to written media. You explain the things that need explanation, and don't explain the ones that don't. You borrow from the source material enough to really immerse readers in a Persona story, but not so much you limit yourself to the normal boundaries of a video game. In my opinion, this is your greatest accomplishment here. It is a perfect balance.
Your pacing is great. Honestly, the only real thing I am missing from this story so far is the overarching hook. I didn't really like P5 for this reason. P3 and 4 both had really big problems to solve, and they were pretty glaring. It seems like you are trying to use the Nightmare thing for this purpose, but so far, it doesn't really feel like a threat. We haven't had any "on screen" deaths to it yet, and no one important has known anyone who has died to it yet (that we know of so far, I have suspicions on where Luna is/what happened to her.) P4 had a great hook right at the beginning with Sosuke's (I think, please forgive me it has been a while) girlfriend/crush getting horribly murdered pretty early on. Anyways, that is just my personal opinion, and I still love the story.
All the little nods and references to the games and their mechanics have not gone unappreciated, by the way. I love them, and there have been a lot. I also love the reimagining of characters, from actor Pinkie, to Japanese Flutters, all of them really. Even the jealous Twilight. They make this feel like a true original work.
Those are my thoughts so far. Loving it greatly, and looking forward to more.
9605814
I'm not all that familiar with Crispen's Alucard, so I'll just read his lines in Gaignun's voice. Or maybe Testament Albedo.
9606970
Did you just reference XenoSaga?
I love you.
9606970
Look up any of the Hellsing Ultimate dub. You won't regret it. Freeman's Alucard is amazing. And terrifying.
9606789
Thank you SO MUCH for your lengthy and honest comment. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. I'm truly trying to put my best foot forward with this one, as I'm writing this story for a purpose. Not only because I'm a HUGE Persona fan, but because these are themes that mean a lot to me. Motherhood, female awakening, depression, and sexual assault are all things I feel very strongly about for one reason or another, and I'm determined to write this story and see it through to the end.
People like you, along with all of my other commentors and critics, make writing this story worth while. I hope you can keep enjoying my work, and that you stay with me all the way till the end.
PS: The character your thinking of is Yosuke, but I personally prefer my nickname for him. Brosuke. Because no matter what, he'll always, always, be my bro.
9607219
I try to leave the most detailed comment I can after finishing/catching up to a story. I really enjoy it.
I am glad that you take issues like these seriously, but are unafraid of talking about them. I am not a woman myself, but I have a younger sister who suffers from depression, amongst other things. We are pretty close, and she recently started seeing a therapist at my urging. I have tried to always be there for her, and listen to whatever problems she was dealing with.
I am very thankful you have written this story in the way you have. It could have easily gone the SJW or excessive feminist route, but you stayed grounded in reality and it has made this story one of my all time favorites. Keep doing what you're doing.
9607613
I will, most definitely, and trust me, I hear you about the SJW route. I like my characters to be... you know... human. Humans have flaws. Also, while I do consider myself a feminist, I hate what feminism is these days.
I'm glad your sister is getting the help that she needs. I wish both you and her nothing but the best.
I was right about Fleur.
As for Silver Spoon, the Priestess and Devil as BFFs. Interesting combo there.
9604867
Chrono Trigger is my favorite game of all time. It was a masterpiece for it's time, and is still damn good to this day. One of it's main strengths was that it somehow managed to capture the feeling of being super open world without actually being open world. What I'm saying is, if you just keep going, you can't miss her.
There are a million things you can miss, side stuff and all that, but you won't miss main plot elements.
(There is an optional party member you can miss getting, and you can finish the game without Crono if you miss your chance to get him back as well.)
Would you believe me if I told you that the reason I got Chrono Trigger was because of how much I enjoyed Chrono Reflect? Azure Sandora's use of Kingdom Hearts music in her stories is also the reason I got into that series.
In all seriousness, though, I've looked everywhere I possibly can in the Prehistoric Era for Ayla, but I just don't know where she is. With Robo, I had trouble finding him at first until I learned via TV Tropes that he was in the Proto Dome, but it doesn't specify Ayla's exact location.
Also, I know how to get Magus to join my party, and I have no intention of beating the game without getting Crono back once I get to that point because of how powerful he is in battle.
9607017
Yeah, we've got all three games over here. It really is a shame Xenosaga isn't more well known.
SJWs wish they could write like you, Azure. You tackle all the things they try to shove down our throats with your stories, but you manage to weave those topics into your narratives in such a natural fashion that they're just another part of the story instead of being an attempt to push an agenda. It probably helps that you don't make a big deal of it like SJWs do.
9608258
Oh, I looked it up because I wasn't too sure, and sure enough Crispin Freeman voiced Gaignun.
Wow, way to pull a role reversal with Diamond Tiara being the nicer one and Silver Spoon being the rich bitch.