Recognition

by FabulousDivaRarity

Recognition

Author's Note:

So this is a sort of offshoot of my "The Dragon's Secret" series. Just a lot of musings from Silverstream, that also come from myself.

The topic this story covers is one of the very few things that makes being an ABDL Mommy so frustrating. You have all this love for your child and you just want to scream it from the rooftops, but society forces you to keep quiet, because according to them you aren't a "real parent". Well let me tell you something- the love and emotions I feel for my daughter are as real as you can get. Biology doesn't mean squat when it comes to being a good parent. I've seen parents treat their kids awful and I've seen friends of parents treat those kids better than they have. At the end of the day, biology only means so much. It can't get you everywhere.

So this is for you guys. For all the mothers out there like me who aren't recognized as being "real". Whether you're an ABDL mom, an adoptive mom, or a mom friend who takes care of kids, I hope you all know that you are just as real as mothers as the biological ones, and that to your kids, you are a real parent, related or not.

Enjoy.

I sit beside her on her bed, and watch the steady rise and fall of her chest. My little one, so precious and perfect. She is everything I could have asked for if I had known what to ask. She is everything I ever wanted or needed. There is nogriff like her, and there wouldn’t be- because she is a dragon.

Everyone seems to think blood ties are the only thing that matters. That family is what you were born into and who you marry and that’s pretty much it. They’re wrong. My friends taught me that, because in this new place with none of my family present, they have become my family. Sandbar, Yona, Ocellus, and Gallus. But Smolder- Smolder has become so much more.

Smolder has become my daughter.

I imagine if anyone found out about this, they would enjoy poking holes in that- with sayings like, “She’s not biologically yours” or “She isn’t even the same species” or “She’s your age”. And I would smile politely while secretly thinking that they don’t understand a thing. Family is the one you create, not always the one you are born into. You can have both, and neither one makes the other any less real. There is no imbalance of love in having both. You simply love in different ways.

I wish that they would take a moment to see through my eyes. I wish they could see through my eyes, because they would have seen what I have seen. The tender moments with Smolder after a feeding, when she snuggles into me unthinkingly. The sweet sound of her giggle that makes me feel like I’m flying even when I’m still on the ground. The heart-fluttering way she calls me “Mama”. The way she reaches for me when she cries. I wish they could be inside of my body for even just an hour, because then they would feel what I feel. The intense joy- the overwhelming, gut-punching, knock-the-air-out-of-you kind of joy- I feel whenever she talks to me or when she gives me a hug. The limitless pride I feel every time she builds something or makes something. The utter awe I feel when I remember that this wasn’t a one-way decision; I didn’t just choose her- she chose me too, and that’s what makes this so special. But if they could feel, for even a moment, the love I feel for her, they wouldn’t dare say any of those things, because they would understand just how much I love her and how much I care.

Mothers do everything they can to show their children they love them and care for them. Or at least they’re supposed to. It’s a fact of life, and it transcends culture. There will always be a few bad seeds who prove that isn’t always true, but generally speaking, it is true. It is a universal knowledge, a deep truth, one embedded in every mind. If you’re a woman and you haven’t been a mother, then you have seen this truth, if not from your mother then from another. But if you are a mother in any capacity, you have experienced it. The fierce need to protect your children from anything and everything, but knowing that they have to go out into the world so they can learn and grow. The need to hover by them when they’re sick or sad so you feel like you’re doing something to make a difference. The absolute overwhelming brightness of your love for them compared to any other kind you have experienced.

I have experienced all of those things. All of those feelings, I have them. I have swam those oceans of emotions, and I have gone deeper in them than I ever thought I could. Motherhood does that to you. You feel things so intensely sometimes you think you might break. But all of that, all of those feelings, I have to keep them to myself. Why? Because my child- and she is my child- did not come from me or has no other relation to me, I am not a mother in the eyes of the world.

I am not recognized as a mother. It is so intensely painful to know that. To know that my love for my child is not considered valid just because of something as trivial as biology. But I have seen mothers who treat their biological children terribly, and I have seen mothers take other children who aren’t even theirs under their wing and treat them as their own. Biology is not what makes someone a mother. A mother is someone who loves her child. That’s all there is. Societal standards have conditioned us to think that biology means everything when it comes to kids. But society doesn’t know anything. Society’s standards were set long ago, and no one has changed them because they’re afraid to. So those like me are confined to those standards, like a prisoner in Tartarus. But I am not afraid to change them.

I can’t do it all at once. I know that. Change happens over time. So I will try and change perceptions. I will speak to others about what this feels like, and try and enlighten them to a new way of thinking. I will change minds and hearts, one creature at a time. I hope to inspire some of them along the way, maybe help others who feel the way I do to come out of hiding and start trying to change it too. The change is not just for me. It is for Smolder too. I would give everything I had for her to have one day where she doesn’t feel ashamed to be who she is. If I want to help her get there, I have to start with me.

The world does not see me as a mother. Some days this really bothers me, this lack of recognition. But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, the one who truly matters in all of this does. And it’s a good a place as any to start.

Comments

[Golden Fang Ryu Shenron]

I imagine if anyone found out about this, they would enjoy poking holes in that- with sayings like, “She’s not biologically yours” or “She isn’t even the same species” or “She’s your age”. And I would smile politely while secretly thinking that they don’t understand a thing. Family is the one you create, not always the one you are born into. You can have both, and neither one makes the other any less real. There is no imbalance of love in having both. You simply love in different ways.

Exactly; just because that child is not really yours doesn't make you any less of a parent to that child, depending on the situation. It's how you fulfill those motherly obligations to that child, and, as Silverstream pointed out, love that child. I hate how other people, other mothers especially, try to use that as a weapon to try to break down families that aren't related by blood or aren't born into one...it just makes me sick.

I am not recognized as a mother. It is so intensely painful to know that. To know that my love for my child is not considered valid just because of something as trivial as biology. But I have seen mothers who treat their biological children terribly, and I have seen mothers take other children who aren’t even theirs under their wing and treat them as their own. Biology is not what makes someone a mother. A mother is someone who loves her child. That’s all there is. Societal standards have conditioned us to think that biology means everything when it comes to kids. But society doesn’t know anything. Society’s standards were set long ago, and no one has changed them because they’re afraid to. So those like me are confined to those standards, like a prisoner in Tartarus. But I am not afraid to change them.

Many are afraid of change...wanting to stick to what they were raised to believe in and stick to it no matter what. Alas, as stated many times before, nothing lasts forever, and there are some who are prepared for change.

I can’t do it all at once. I know that. Change happens over time. So I will try and change perceptions. I will speak to others about what this feels like, and try and enlighten them to a new way of thinking. I will change minds and hearts, one creature at a time. I hope to inspire some of them along the way, maybe help others who feel the way I do to come out of hiding and start trying to change it too. The change is not just for me. It is for Smolder too. I would give everything I had for her to have one day where she doesn’t feel ashamed to be who she is. If I want to help her get there, I have to start with me.

One step at a time Silverstream...one step at a time.

[FabulousDivaRarity]

9541987
Thank you so much. All of that means so much to hear, because this is such a personal thing I deal with daily. To know other people understand it... Words can't express how much that means to me.

[Golden Fang Ryu Shenron]

9541998
Oh trust me, I know exactly what you mean...now, I'm no parent myself, heck, I don't even have a girlfriend! Be that as it may, it makes me really really really upset and disgusted that people like you are mistreated so badly by people who are always sticking to the fact that biology and DNA, and the fact that they were the ones that gave children life makes them parents. No offense to any parents on this site that have biological children of their own, but just because they're the child's real parents doesn't truly make them parents; what makes them parents is giving their child the love care and devotion that any parent, biological or not, would give, including being there for that child, guiding them through the difficult journey of growing up and teaching them what it means to become a person, and a parent themselves when the time comes. Unfortunately there are just some people who refuse to really look into it and stick to things that're so trivial, and not try to be more insightful about things like this...it's just so sad and disgusting at the same time, especially those parents, mothers mainly, that try to play god with their children lives just because they're their real parents and they gave them life. You have my full condolences for all of the crap that the people are putting you through, just for the simple fact that any children you have aren't really yours, and I hope you're able to find, or met someone who either knows what you're going through, or at least agrees with you on what it truly means to be a mother, let alone a parent, regardless of whether the children are really theirs or not. I wish you and any children you have the best of luck and I hope you are able to get through those troubling times and the backlash and grow and live happily together as a real family.

[FabulousDivaRarity]

9542031
I'm literally in tears reading that. It is the best thing I have ever seen as a comment on one of my stories. It makes everything worth it. It tells me that the money I spent to fly 2,000 miles to just visit my baby girl for two days was worth it because there are people out there like you who do understand. It makes me feel so much less alone. And it just makes every second with her so much more precious because I know that others understand. Your kindness is overwhelming. I don't know how to thank you for that.

[TheBrokenBrony]

I know this isnt very much but....I view you as my momma and I definitly view you as your own daughter’s mother. I’m sorry that this is all I can say to try to help you be happy. I’m not very knowledgeable or can relate with this as much as SuperSonicGoldenKirinGod, but I still wanted to say something after reading this.

[Golden Fang Ryu Shenron]

9542042
You don't have to thank me Ma'am, I'm just saying what I honestly mean from the bottom of my heart. And don't worry, I know that there are a lot of people both out there, and on this sight who now what you're going through, and the fact that it makes the time you spend with your daughter more worth it makes me happy to. Just remember this: Even if there are people out there who don't really agree with you, and are stuck in those old beliefs of theirs, and even say right to your face that your not a true mother, none of that really matters. What really matters is the apple of your heart (your daughter) along with her future and what she'll grow up to be, along with those obligations that you fulfill to your child, which is what makes anyone that does have children a true parent blood related or not, not what all of those other people think. I can't say that I know what you're going through, and I'm not going to pretend either, however, I do hope that the little time you do get to spend with your daughter will grow and you'll get to see her more often so you can be there for her like any real mother would. And also, even if you don't have anyone outside here that's on your side about what it really means to be a parent, you have people like me here in this site (even if there are a few smelly rats), and as long as you remember that, like you said, you will never, ever truly be alone. Besides, we're bronies/pegasisters etc, and bronies and pegasisters like you and me gotta stick together, no matter what!

Although, if you insist on thanking me, you can do this: The next time you see your daughter, be sure to give her a nice big hug for me, and all other people on this site who either empathize with your situation or know your pain. I'm sure she'd love to know that there are lots of people here who're rooting for you and her, and for change as well.

[FabulousDivaRarity]

9542080
I'll be seeing her in may for Mother's Day and my birthday. You can rest assured that I will make good on that.

[FabulousDivaRarity]

9542071
The fact that you shared any words at all means so much, and I hope you know how much I appreciate the time you took to write them down. Thank you so much for everything. You are wonderful.

[Golden Fang Ryu Shenron]

9542083
Sweet! Oh, and to show you my appreciation, I'd like for you to listen to a song that I think you will absolutely love!

In My Arms

[FabulousDivaRarity]

9542097
How did you know I love the music of Plumb?! That is so amazing! Thank you for that wonderful gift! You truly are a fantastic person, and I appreciate you!

[Golden Fang Ryu Shenron]

9542102

How did you know I love the music of Plumb?! That is so amazing!

I honestly didn't! I had just thought up of this song to help you think of your daughter every time you may listen to it. Also, in case you're wondering where I got this song from, I had first heard of it while watching some movie clips from a movie called Wolf Children, that was put in the song. That movie is basically about a young mother whose trying to raise two children that have the ability to transform into full blooded wolfs, a trait inherited from them by their late father. You should check it out, it's really amazing movie!

Thank you for that wonderful gift! You truly are a fantastic person, and I appreciate you!

You're very welcome, and I appreciate the strength and perseverance you have to continuously get through the times that you're going through right now, and fighting for what you believe in.