Dagmire the discorded goes to Equestria

by Theboxcatgamr

A noble cause part one: getting that saucy salsa to go

Author's Note:

“Let’s see you be so positive with colon cancer captain positivity!” -my brother (we called him captain colon cancer when he did this) in a rubber unicorn mask crashing the parade and giving the school mascot cancer at the annual positivity rally.

Dagmire walked through the large halls of the building looking around while Glory talked to him about the challenge. He understood the basics and that was pretty much it. They introduced Dagmire to all the rooms and while Dagmire was never one for fancy things he was impressed with the decor.

“-and I believe that is the gist of it. Any questions?” Glory finished

“Nope.” Dagmire said

“Alright. You know where your quarters are and I’ll see you in the morning”

“Actually I’ll see you at midnight.”

“Sir why midnight?”

“It’s a surprise!” Dagmire said with confetti pouring out of his sleeves as he gave vigorous jazz hands

Gilda continued smiling in an unnerving manner

---

After finally returning home and getting a well earned rest, Applejack prepared for another day on the farm. The moment she stepped outside she saw Clearance. Considering how the friendly basilisk usually spends this hour sleeping Applejack immediately knew something was up

“Meet me at the train station.”

“Why? Did something happen?” Applejack asked

“Yes” Clearance said before leaving without any explanation

A few moments later everyone was gathered at the station

“So Dagmire got kidnapped and now he’s in the griffin empire” Clearance said without wasting time

“What?! We gotta go save him!” Twilight said without missing a beat

“That’s the plan. Gilda sent Dagmire a letter warning him about the griffin’s but they got him before he could read it.” Clearance explained

“Alright. Let’s get going” rainbow said with all the energy her tired body could muster

As they all climbed aboard the train to the griffin empire they didn’t notice an extra stowaway follow them. With blood red eyes and a sinister smile the stowaway began setting its trap.

It’s a long way to the empire...

---

It was the stroke of midnight. And the land was shrouded in a red light as the harvest moon foretold something’s end

In the dark of the night Glory stood wide awake. Unable to sleep and plagued with a burning curiosity as Dagmire’s words worked their way into his mind. How did he know? What even is he?

“...buck it. I cant take it anymore” Glory said while grabbing a lantern and exiting his room.

He navigated through the dark halls as he made his way to his destination with a look of determination plastered on his face. Had he not had things to do he likely would have paused and appreciated the beautiful tinted moonlight drifting in through the large windows. He approached the room and knocked on the door.

“Come in.” Dagmire said from within

Glory entered. Instead of the room he expected he ended up in a forest of sorts. He jumped when the door behind him shut suddenly.

“Sorry about the room. That harvest moon just opened a window of time for the souls to recreate something familiar”

“What? What is this?!” Glory said

Dagmire simply laughed in the red light and began playing a soft melody. A snake left Dagmire’s luggage and shined brightly in the light as it shifted and changed.

Glory’s eye went wide when his father stood in front of him with a smile that had been absent from him until the day he died.

“I’ve taught you well my son” the spirit said with pride

“I-“

“Come. We have much to discuss before I take my final leave” the spirit said prim and proper

Glory listened and followed his father

Dagmire smiled and as they talked he politely walked out of earshot as the spirit’s previous request asked of him.

As he continued the song he saw the spirit fly in front of the moon and fade away. Dagmire’s scythe received a tally mark and the back side of the tool sprouted three feathers. Dagmire threw the tool and like a boomerang it returned to him. He sat down on a stump as the world faded and he was suddenly on a chair in his room.Dagmire finished the song and Glory awoke on Dagmire’s bed as a single tear escaped his eye.

“Thank you” Glory said with his eyes closed with a bit of blood on his claws

“No problem.”

“Now it’s my turn to return the favour” Glory said getting up

“No you don’t-“

“I wasn’t asking” Glory said sternly with a hint of emotion

“...alright. What’s up?”

“Just follow me” Glory said as he led Dagmire down the hallway.

They turned left and entered a side room.

“This is the real reason we called you here” Glory said

“What?” Dagmire said unable to comprehend what he was looking at

---

The train rocked back and forth in the red light as it made its way along the track. The ponys all rested in their seats as the ride took its toll. Clearance was wide awake as the blood moon filled the air with a sense of fragility...and death.

A figure enters the room and passes him with little regard causing Clearance to go on high alert. The creature walks down the aisle and stops at a sleeping rainbow dash.

Clearance slowly unsheathes the blade of the hydra as the figure starts smiling. The figure pulls out an empty syringe and lightly chuckles while Clearance slithers behind it. Grabbing the hand that held the syringe and slamming the creature into the ground Clearance quickly turned the figure to stone.

“Well...that was anticlimactic” Clearance said as the pony’s looked in shock at the creature.

Hearing a sound on the roof Clearance climbed out of the window and saw three more creature’s just like the last one. Wind whipped violently as the intruders edged closer to Clearance all with daggers drawn.

Clearance raised his blade and lightning struck it as he prepared for a fight. They were almost upon Clearance when suddenly he felt a prick in the back of his neck.

They were decoys!

Clearance spun and used his tail to fling the attacker off the train while throwing a blade. As the blade made contact with the creature lightning struck it and blasted it downward into the hard ground. The train entered a tunnel and all Clearance could see was three sets of eyes and Erie grins. It seemed that these emitted light somehow. Suddenly the lights cut out as soon as they realized that he could see them. Only one set opened again as it fell out of sight.

The train exited the tunnel and exposed the creatures once again this time missing a member. One of them had fallen off the train. The other only stared at Clearance.

Obviously this wasn’t a very bright thing to do as the creature turned to stone

Clearance carried the statue as he went back inside his cabin only to find the creature he blasted with lightning injecting something into its front leg. Clearance felt for what had pricked him on the roof only to discover it’s absence. The creature laughed and bailed from the train through the window

“Damm crazy junkies. Thanks for the help Clearance.” Rainbow said

“I don’t think they are junkies” Clearance said

The creature that fell off the train was actually hanging by it’s hoof from the roof with a dazed look on its face. It took off the cloak that concealed the ponys appearance and reviled a familiar young Pegasus

“Where am I?” Dumbell said

Comments

[Theboxcatgamr]

9653953
Christ that was fast

[Theboxcatgamr]

9653970
Kinda. I literally just posted the chapter, left to use the bathroom and when I came back the comment was there

[Theboxcatgamr]

9654004
Yes

[Theboxcatgamr]

Ok since I couldn’t get the next chapter out in time I decided to say “fuck it”.

Now the next chapter should be twice the length as usual