Dagmire the discorded goes to Equestria

by Theboxcatgamr

You wanna know how Dagmire got these scars?!: the start of something tragic and/or beautiful

Author's Note:

“Reality can be whatever I wa. You should know this by now”-Waluigi talking to Thanos in endgame

And now we are going to have a bit of backstory on our depressed jester

Dagmire sat in his room still a bit shaky. A whole two months passed and he still felt the pain as clear as day. His room was in ruin and covered in scratchings and mad scrawlings on the walls and floor. Not wanting his friends to worry he covered up most of the writing with posters.

“Dagmire?” Clearance asked softly

“Yes?” Dagmire replied wearily

“I think we should go out for a bit. We are worried about you.” Clearance said

“...ok.” Dagmire said attempting to get out of bed

Due to his injuries from the competition he walked with a limp as he made his way out the door. The elements were all there with looks of disbelief and horror

“Oh my...it’s much worse than we thought” rarity said

Rainbow and applejack remained silent as if a single word would set Dagmire off. They seemed to be in a condition similar to Dagmire’s with guilt written on their faces

“Listen. If you need someone to talk to than we are always here.” Twilight said

“...actually” Dagmire said getting their hopes up

“I think I will tell you all a story. My story. If you are all interested than...well come back in half an hour. I need time to prepare” Dagmire said while putting on a fake smile

“Alright. We’ll see you then buddy” rainbow finally spoke.

-37 minutes later

The ponys arrived at the bar and no lights were on. They entered and called out Dagmire’s name. Suddenly the stage lights turned on revealing Dagmire without a shirt on seemingly showing them off.

“Come. Have a seat.” Dagmire said while having the pony’s sit back in recliners

An extra guest followed rainbow in and gawked at Dagmire’s scars.

“...well have a seat Gilda. You deserve to know as well” Dagmire said as they all sat down.

The recliners didn't really work that well with the pony’s body structure but they and Gilda sat down in them anyway

“You wanna know how I got these scars? My father was once a regular man. He went to a convention, a costume event if you don’t know what that is, and dressed up as a character of his own creation. While there he saw a familiar face running a booth. This man was his brother and my uncle. Many hate and despise “the merchant” for what he does to them but my father? He was none the wiser. So when offered a special deal on the vault key his costume was missing he took it without hesitation. This my friends is where shit hits the fan.” Dagmire said while pacing around the stage

The ponys were listening avidly as Dagmire spoke. Pinky pie was munching on popcorn and Dagmire stoped until she sheepishly tossed the bag

“Alright. So basically my father feels strange. Like a feeling in the back of your mind that just screams at you when you feel something’s off. He collapsed as my uncle laughed and then he started to change. The plastic imitation of his character seemed to melt into his skin as he shivered. His face warped and twisted until it became an almost reptilian snout. This is where he gets booted into the world of :();;))3?$ as a child with no memory of what happened or who he is.

Nineteen years later he has grown up without a coin to his name and a sabotaged family and decides to have a rather unique night with a general of his towns guard. I’m not getting into details but let’s just say a magic alpaca was involved and this is when I was conceived. I never saw him again for reasons I never found out. He was the one who gave me the mask I first had on when I arrived.

It was cursed and after being captured by a false kings knights I had activated the curse after... well I’m going to be honest. This part is very brutal. If you-“

“It’s fine. We can handle it.” Gilda said softly while Fluttershy gave a hesitant nod

“Alright. So basically from ages five to twenty I was whipped and beaten everyday. Somehow I always got back up. My reasons were not to simply get out of there. But to make the basterd king pay. After a while he started maiming people in many ways to set examples. As you can tell by my face...well I lost. I was being drowned in a lake of boiling tar. The only reason I’m still here is a certain person gave me a chance to escape. I kicked free of the hooded man and sprinted into the armoury and grabbed the only thing I owned that was important to me. My mask. I put it on and suddenly the court wizard teleported me in front of the king in chains. He taunted me and hit me over and over again... than all the hatred I had for him activated the curse...suddenly I was dressed like a jester and my mask had two halves: one of light and one of dark. A cannon ball smashed through the stained glass above him and I grabbed a shard while he was pre-occupied with the damage. Clutching it hard enough to make me bleed the king forgot my chains were just close enough for me to grab him. I threw him back with all of my might...than I ran him through. Over and over I repaid his debt as I just... I just started stabbing, stabbing and laughing.” Dagmire said said losing his composure

“A man who was almost as tall as I was walked back into the room and shattered my chains. I walked over to the king once more and pulled the shard out...but instead of a glass shard I somehow pulled this scythe out instead. I put his crown on my head and heard a voice:

“Are you the bringer of apocalypse?” The voice spoke

“BITCH I AM THE APOCALYPSE!” I replied not really in the right state of mind

“You are not the demigorgon and he will come to finish your pitiful world off. Where is the king?”

“I killed him. And tell the gorgon he’s next” I said with a laugh

The voice also laughed and said “I would like to see you try”

The crown turned to a powdery sand and planing to throw it in the eyes of the basterd’s who Condemned me to this fate I followed the large man as I set off to save the world... twenty years passed since I met Clearance and he helped me with my eye as I slowly began losing the bit of muscle I had. A paladin obsessed with order came into the bar and what happened next was kinda fuzzy. But whatever it was it’s what transported me to Equestria. A few months later and here we are.” Dagmire concluded as he put back on his mask

It was quiet for awhile as they digested the information. And Dagmire was suddenly being hugged by Gilda. The ponys shortly joined in and Dagmire felt welcomed.

“Ok. I feel a lot better for getting that off my chest. Thank you”

“We will always be here for you Dagmire. But I got a question. How did you figure out the truth about your dad?” Gilda asked

“Well one day before we left to fight the apocalypse I received his journal in the mail. Apparently he found out through some type of memory spell and sent me his journal” Dagmire explains

“...wanna get shitfaced?” Gilda asked to the elements horror

Dagmire simply smiled and poured some shots of whiskey