"Okay, Doctor. I'm in," Derpy Hooves said overtly into the fancy cuff covering her fetlock.
With a small crackle, a smooth masculine voice came through her earpiece. "Good job. As you know, this is the castle of the infamous black market salt lick baron, Salty Saddle. Be careful around him, as he is known for being a tad... temperamental. I suggest you mingle with the other party guests while you find a way to covertly enter his private office," he said in a distinct Bitish accent.
"Copy that, Doctor," Derpy said far too loud into her cuff again.
She straightened out her elegant dress and stepped into the main ballroom that was holding the extravagant party. Champagne glasses clinked and ponies chattered merrily as violinists softly played soft, slow music.
"Hi everypony!" she announced to the room. Ponies went silent and the music stopped as they all stared at her. She waved at them and smiled. After an awkward moment, the music began again and the rich ponies went back to their conversations.
Derpy walked among the other guests, bumping into them as she passed by. "Oops. Sorry. Pardon me. 'Scuse me," she said as she bumbled about. Spotting a bathroom, she hurried toward it and inside, locking the door behind her. Opposite the door was a window large enough for her to fit through. After cautiously opening the window, she silently pulled herself through it, and promptly fell face-first into the snow below the windowsill.
"Okay, Doctor, I'm in the courtyard now," she wheezed into her fetlock microphone before picking herself up.
"Great work. Now see if you can't get a view from higher up. Salty Saddle's office will be somewhere on the top floor," the Doctor said.
Derpy looked around and saw a high wall with a lone guard patrolling it. She reached into a pocket of her dress and removed a long, thin wooden tube. Golden eyes narrowed in focus, she placed one end of the tube into her mouth and aimed it just ahead of the guard. With a strong blow of air, the stallion on the wall was soon clutching at the back of his neck before slumping forward. He would be out for about an hour, plenty of time for Derpy to complete the objective. She spread her wings, and...
The ritzy ditzy spy mare went up the wall to scout.
Nursery rhymes. Nice.
Ooh a change up.
God why is this so good.
She never knew what went wrong when she accidentally pulled on a line that got wrapped around her decorative bridle, triggering the water tower to empty it's load (and her) into the moat.
Down came the rein and washed the spy mare out.
*dies from the pun-ishing twisting of language*
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Salty Saddle's family had a strange tradition of having a fish name their children. Salty Saddle had saved the one that had named his son, storing it in the water tower. When the tower was emptied, the poor fish got caught on the hanging bridle, and died.
Trout named the son and died up on the rein.
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Amazing. Good one.
Derpy didn't even mingle with guests. The heck? She disobeyed the Doctor's recommendation!